Quiet Reflection · 12:26am Jul 10th, 2015
We humans are the product of our hormones, instincts, neural patterns, and experiences. Each of us has a plethora of thing we've done, or had happen to us, that has stuck with us for our entire lives and will be remembered until we mentally deteriorate or cease to be.
For context, I was a troubled child and constantly getting into trouble for fighting, intimidation, vulgarity, and, on one occasion, gang-related activity; the principal of my middle school absolutely hated me, because I was constantly either suspended or sent to alternative school (which stopped after they realized I enjoyed it because we got better lunches there, seriously, Valley High School between 06-09 had the best fucking school lunches I have ever seen.)
During what I believe was seventh grade, popping water bottles was HUGE, and people compared how different bottles handled pressure, how to produce the most vapor without ruining the pop, etc. etc.; our school had bottles of terrible flavored water one could buy, and conveniently, they were perfectly shaped to twist and fire.
During one such lunch, I twisted my bottle about as much as it would go with my adolescent strength and slipped the cap of with my thumb. It sounded like a gunshot and I traced the cap's path as it soared across the cafeteria, curving just barely around the principal's head as he did his rounds to make sure everyone was behaving. He never caught me, and nobody ratted me out.
TL;DR: performed the least violent, Wanted-esque school shooting in history, and got away with it.
Were you the coolest kid in school after that?
3224895 Not even close.