Will It Ever End?

I used to be so happy when you were around
The touch of your kindred spirit that resided only deep within your body would just bring me joy.
The amazing gift you were given
And I knew for damn sure before you told me that you were special, a gift from God

A broken angel because of her angered past that could never leave her mind.
Your perfect friend prayers had been answered, you told me the day that I told you that I was happy.
The pain of this tattered, broken heart
Was mended into a whole…

“I made a big ass mistake, please don’t go.” I pleaded in every finger movement I could possibly do.
But you seemed not to care anymore, in my eyes I didn’t matter anymore.
All because I said one thing, filled with anger, confusion, and the loss of a friend.
I had failed that perfect friend prayer… I not only failed you, I failed your heart and everything about
you.

We stopped talking for a while, then it slowly built back up.
Back up to where we could talk to one another again without hatred spilling out our hole with no mind
I trusted you again where I felt that comforting vibe of yours surrounding me like a blanket.
We were texting again, message by message we talked. Crystal Safire?

I obviously did another wrong move, telling you what was going on in my head.
Like you would think I’d make the same shitty mistake again, only to bring you regret of ever saying a
simple hello
Do you not think that I feel as much regret even starting this bitchy fight?

First day back into Creative Writing after my second, so called, mistake.
I moved away from you because the comforting vibe turned into a vibe that just made me stomach turn
a thousand times.
I didn’t think you cared, you seemed well pass the caring stage for me anymore.
But evidentially you hated my choice, deciding to take your chance and play with the fire of emotions

I may not be a normal person who could think quickly
But I am smart enough to know when hatred is being passed out.

I decided that I have had enough, taking a stand for who I really am behind your blinded eyes
Goodbye the person who used to mean to me…
I not only failed you, but now you have failed EVERYTHING about me.
Sitting down there with my back to the one person that I felt close to, there, she disappeared

Even though you were wiped away from the objects of my life…
Your memory never left the depths of my heart.

Those things that you had done to me that day seemed to not bother me anymore.
Like the chains of Satan, the chains of your once in a time pointless damned drama…

The freedom from the broken chains resided deep into my heart.
In my eyes, you were another one of those people who just used me to get what they wanted.
One that would get to know me, then used those things, that once was said, against me
A fake friend…

I thanked you in my prayers for the kind of person you were once to me, I thanked God for the
memories.
You were gone from everything that reminded me of you.

But then we started talking again, after we had finally talked and shared what was in our own heads.
Then the talking ceased again, you wanted time and I granted your wish
Even if it was tearing my insides up into pieces that could be swallowed whole by a mouse.
I wanted you to feel comfortable again, I wanted you to know I had changed.

The week of my seventeenth birthday came, the week right after spring break.
You invited me over to the table where the memories began.
Everything seemed perfectly fine with you and me…
My birthday week was one hundred percent better because you were not so pissed at me.

I must’ve been dreaming myself into a fantasy…
You seemed fine, probably just to make sure that I was happy for my birthday.
All of the sudden, I was invisible…
Like my body that believed that the comforting blanket had at once returned to my body

We were back to the beginning, friends forever left to be torn apart.
I seemed like a ghost that hid, ready to haunt you.

Was this friendship built upon the fact that I comforted you through tough times?
Or was it because I supplied you with things you wanted most.

Obviously I don’t matter anymore…
Why do I waste my strength and time on someone who isn’t returning that?
Even though possibly from now on, I will seem distant… Let me say this to you
As the last thing I have ever said to you…

“I’m not scared about what will come tomorrow because you were my yesterday.
And if I have to pay my presence with a few years of pain and emptiness then fine.
I will pay that fee happily.
“Because everything has a price…

“We took leaps and bounds and no one can measure our journey in miles.
Circumstances can be a lovely leady bit that bitch bites hard.
She snatched you before I even saw the end coming.

“But I have these memories that keep rolling around in my head
The come alive when a day without you becomes too hard.

“I miss you…
Everyday…
But I trust what we built
And I hope that I still reside behind your eyes…

“So when those eyelids shield you from the rest of the world,
Your memories come alive again.
Your memories of me…

“This is all I have but, it’s enough for me.
You were mine once, I watched you blossom…
Now I have to let you go.

“But I’m not sorry that I loved you…
I will NEVER be.”

I’ll never be sorry to myself that I had once cared for you.
You will just be another person I loved in the story on my life.
Thank you for the love you had given me, I’ll never forget the comfort I had once felt around you.

My only question on here last for you… When?
When will it all be over?