Z Reviews: Double Feature Part1: Flight, Failure, Faith and Family · 3:14am Dec 13th, 2014
This time's review will be of Flight, Failure, Faith and Family, authored by 8686, reviewed by me, TheifofZ. If you like this review, check my blog for other reviews, or follow this link to go to the post containing the mission statement and a list of all the stories I've reviewed so far.
As always, here's how I'll be doing this; First I'll cover the story idea, and writing style and quality of the story. Next, I'll look at the actual story itself, including character motivation, action (if the story has any), and the general plot. Finally, I'll throw down my egotistical and opinionated rating, declaring exactly how good, or bad, I thought this was. And yes, I will do my best to avoid spoilers for the plot IF POSSIBLE. If the spoiled events are integral to the story, I'll throw down spoiler warnings instead, and ask that you proceed with caution. Always remember, folks. This is all opinion. Disagree with me? Think I'm dead wrong, or spot on? Argue about it in the comments if you want. It's cool. Noone has a truly humble opinion, after all, but make sure you read the review first. With that out of the way, here we go!
Personally, short stories of personal growth and bonding like this one have always been a love/hate relationship for me; I hate how cheesy and cliche they can end up being, but the way they warm my cold, stony heart is always refreshing, and this one wasn't much different. The basic idea of Flight, Failure, Faith and Family is a short, heart warming slice of life following Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash as they come to terms with what, exactly, their relationship is. It's a really simple type of story, but because of the simple nature, it can be difficult to pull off. The fact that it's handled so well here is actually fairly impressive, and it was fairly easy to be drawn into the story. Between the natural pacing of the character development and smooth writing style, there are very few flaws in the delivery.
The story itself centers on Scootaloo as she tries to reaffirm her bond with Rainbow Dash after several small mistakes on Dash's part cause Scoots to begin to question their relationship, and it's supremely easy to see both their characters shining through every action they make, from Rainbow's brash and straightforward attitude, to Scoot's near desperation to be with RD. That being said, while most of the scenes flow smoothly and the characters really stick out, some of the character interactions felt slightly forced, as if the author needed a tool to help move the characters in the right direction, or to control the pacing of the story better. It's still handled a lot better than what many starting authors do, and thankfully there are no Deus Ex Machina on the horizon, (I've had enough of those in my touching heart warming stories of reconciliation, thankyewverymuch), but it's still just enough to feel awkward. As I said before, the main characters were handled very well, and their attitude and emotions come through very clearly, but most of the other characters were slightly clunky, and several of them felt more like wallpaper than actual characters. Along with that, the few moments when actions became more important than the words and emotions in the story, those actions were handled slowly, with extra description that, while making each step of the actions easy to see, the sheer amount of language used started to drag down the flow. (Though, to be fair, it's not a fight scene so it's still mostly excusable.)
Overall... I give this story 8.5 out of 10 moustaches, and 5 out of 5 emotional Pegasi. 
Any opinions or major points you'd like to make go in the comments below. Advice, Major Corrections, story suggestions, and fan mail can be PM'd to me. ... if I ever get fans. HAH!
Final Note: It's a short story, and there isn't much I can really say about it. It's got a really touching ending, and everything is executed really well. It has a few flaws, but they're more flaws generated by the genre than the actual story, so. I liked it alot, but personally I don't think there's a lot of re-reading to a story like this. So, uhm... 
Good review, especially how this is the kind of story where it's hard to talk much about it. I like this story, but its pretty linear. You did well.
Next request: When They Found Us
2651190
Oh, Celestia... You...You! Why must you do this to me?! Is this some plot to kick me back into writing?
2652547 It wasn't intended to be, but now it is! C'MON WRITE MORE LOVE MINE GODDAMMIT!
2652547
Hey, I reviewed his story first. He's just sharing the love. 
(Literally; first review ever.)
Also I've never heard of you before, so as far as I'm concerned, no bucks given if you do/don't write more.
If this changes after the review, you'll find out in the Final Note.