Tg p4: Life · 3:06pm Nov 27th, 2014
May 1st 2013
Suiside
Why challenge myself for a 'morrow?
Why work for another day?
Why should I try for another?
Why live for another day?
There is no sense in me living,
No reason to live any more,
For this life that I am living.
Is such a wretched whore!
No reason to live this moment.
I have not a reason on this Earth.
Why am I a living?
What t'was the reason for my birth?
I see my family failing.
I see it falling apart!
I see them all crying!
And it so breaks my heart!
So why live for another moment!
I should just take my life!
My choice is oh so clear now!
I should be done with this strife!
I take my knife from it's scabbard!
And hold it to my chest!
Trying to find the courage,
To pass the final test.
Slowly I move the weapon.
To take the final blow!
Then! I suddenly realize,
This life I cannot let go!
Casting the knife asunder!
I fall to my knees in tears!
Wondering how in that moment,
I could have listened to my fears?
No I have no reason for Living.
Not one that's on my mind!
Except that Jesus Loves me,
And these things can be left behind.
And so concluded my sixth suicide attempt. I have had one bout since this one, but this one is the one that sticks out in my memory and I have recorded in my 'Thankfulness journal.'
I have had many brushes with death, between health, suiside, accidents, wild animals... you name it. The only thing I can conclude is God wants me here. And as long as he does I will stay. My seventh was even more spectacular becouse God actually sent me a message in the clouds after I bailed on it too... I went outside balling. Late after dark. I looked up and across the moon he had formed the words. "I
U"
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. If everyone who reads this would put below it one thing that they are thankful for I would be very happy indeed. And for all of you who struggle with depression and suisidal thoughts. *Hugs* I've been there, done that, and if you want to talk send me a message. I will not judge you.
Cowgirl
Happy Thanksgiving My Friend!! And to all who celebrate it!
Well, if anyone wants to know. This is one of the things V and I have in common. But i wouldnt want to speak about it here.
So to make this brief, I thank you for becoming someone i trust. I thank those who have shown me kindness and care in this community. It has really helped me open up a little more to talk to people. I am shy and easily embarrassed. But little by little i have tried to get over that, here. And i thank you all who have become my friends, and to those who talk to me.
I am also thankful for alot more things, but agian i want to make this brief. I thank God for the life he has given me, even if it is difficult. But you can always learn to make it better.. Its hard, but its not impossible!
I wish everyone to have a nice Day!
Crystal (Kc) ~
Happy Thanksgiving!
During my years in school I was shy and worried about being judged. I have trouble focusing, so every word I hear goes in one ear and out the other, so I need conversations repeated to me. But when teachers would pull me out of class to work on this, to me it looked like I was being put on a pedistal being labled "special" which lowers my self esteem majorly.
Then when going into high school with a low self esteem just killed. Everything I did felt like it was just for nothing. This really put me in a depression. Until I met one of my closet friends Athena. She was the first friend I had that didn't think I was special and always wanted my opinion. She really pulled me out of my cage, and thanks to her I was able to meet new friends, thanks to her I was able to meet my best friend AJ, thanks to her he introduced me to MLP, thanks to her she made my sun rise and influenced me to help people to make their sun burn brighter. Her light gave me a brighter look on the world.
2619887 The first six were within a five month span. The seventh was after someone slandered my name all over the internet. I was still emotionally recovering and... I saw it and...
... I went bizurk... That time I tried drug overdose.... Didn't work.
2619895 So am I... So am I.
2619634
That's so sweet.