Some tune ups needed · 9:58am Jun 23rd, 2012
Right now I have been looking back at previous chapters and after a few things were pointed out to me, I realized they were rather sub par.
What I've done recently
1. Removed all terms of 'youth' when referring to Troy. He's 21, not young enough to be considered a youth anymore.
2. Changed the Applejack freak out scene in chapter 3, I'm not sure how people felt about that, but on reflection I think that she was way out of character. And I'm pretty sure I straight up Mary Sue'd Rainbow Dash in that sequence. Rainbow rarely admits fear, either to herself or others.
I plan on improving the interactions of the mane six in chapter four, as some parts don't sound quite right.
As for chapter six, I will do a sweep through that as well, but I can say with for some certainty that it will stay the same. despite how out of character Troy acted.
Why? you figure it out.
So no next chapter soon ... ?
Haha, I jest. I love it when an author goes back and fixes their work; makes me think they care about their readers (and future readers.)
i think its grate as it was but i must admit applejack was to threatening to be in character and i just re read that part and i like this new change more, so by all means improve everything you can