Edits · 8:09pm Nov 21st, 2014
Wisdom comes with age, is what many people will tell you.
And you know, they're right. Whether you've gone through experience in certain matters, or you've learnt how the world works and have adapted to it, living in a day-to-day routine, and have a stable job, you've grown.
You grow when you learn things. You grow when you slip up. You grow from constructive criticism. And this doesn't just apply to writing either, though, this blog is specifically catering towards it.
See, compared to many names on this site, I'm still what some would consider average, a rookie, or possibly even a newcomer depending on how they view my work. I'm not going to lie either—there's always room for improvement.
And with improvement—along with growth—comes the ability that you're able to look back at old work and see where you might made mistakes, or what can be done to 'fix' things. See, when I first started out, I literally just mashed my keyboard for hours, possibly. I had some story ideas, but for the most part, I hammered away at the keys, and the result was New Toys in Town.
37,000 words? Mashing on a keyboard? Yeah, I'd say that contributed the large word count. I didn't edit, I didn't do a large proofreading skim, and thus I released it all to the public. Now, it's been available for months for anyone to see.
Long story short, I'm not fond of the story. It has its points, I'll admit, but, in essence, it's a 37,000 word innuendo. The entire premise is built around it. And it just drags, and drags, and drags. Moments of dialogue feel forced as well—as in, the characters are saying something just for the sake of keeping the joke inbound.
Should I delete the story? That's an option. I don't look back to it a lot, it doesn't bring in new comments, and its view count hasn't peaked anytime recently. What people don't know can't hurt them. If it's not there, they can't see what I haven't done.
Would that do any good? Well, it might make me more egotistical.
I could also do nothing, and allow myself to look back at it a lot and see what my first story I published actually was. What quality it was at, what I wrote specifically, and all that shtick.
I could also edit. But, honestly, I don't want to edit New Toys in Town. I don't want to edit 37,000 words. It feels more like a chore than enjoying it with that amount. So what will I do? I dunno—either remove it or keep it there, probably. It can be a reminder to myself of my starting point, and therefore to see how far I've grown since then.
That's the main point of this blog. I haven't published anything in over a month, and when I did, it was Feathers and Whispers. Now, I don't know who's read it or not, but whenever I look at it, I think of two words: wasted opportunity. It has such an interesting twist on something in the show, and I think it's pretty smart in that regard, but ideas and execution are two different things. Feathers and Whispers, in my opinion, lacked on its execution.
The reason for this, is because of my unmotivated phase. Some of you might know of this. A while back, I felt unmotivated, convinced that my writing was horrible and no one would ever love it. Feature box reviews and the such scared me off. I got tense. I was convinced that whatever I did, someone'll hate it, or, in my situation, everyone would hate it.
That's why I hadn't written much recently. I couldn't write. I didn't want to write. And Feathers and Whispers was written during this phase. In the end of writing it, I just wanted it released to push past this thing and actually get something out, which ties into that failed execution point I mentioned. I believe that with the right edits, Feathers and Whispers could possibly be ground-breaking and could even get into Twilight's Library with its idea. Again, I think the concept is interesting, but it needs more work.
And this is where my main point comes in. I'm out of that unmotivated phase. I've actually written some stuff, and I'm enthusiastic about it again. Trouble is, real life coursework has come into play at the same time, so I'm prioritising that over horsewords. Not well-timed in the slightest. Which, of course, means that I still won't be pushing out fics like I used to.
This is the other point, linking in with growth. See, when you can look back at your older work, and pinpoint parts that can be beefed up, and fix things easily without thinking about it—for example, if you know you could use some showing instead of telling in a certain section—then you know you've grown. This is what's happened to me recently. I've looked back on some older work, and I can see exactly what I can do to improve it.
That's a good sign.
If we didn't see that sort of thing, have we improved? I'd guess not. So in these months that I've been a writer, I know I'm getting better and better, since I'm able to go back and see these things.
And it's for this reason that I've been doing some editing recently. I've started on my clop, Hot Water, and that's currently got a few paragraphs of edits at the start. You can see it if you wish.
But the main focus here is Twilight the Book Worm, which I just recently edited. I've also tagged it. I went through the entire thing and have improved it to what I can see as my current level, or somewhere close to that. In my opinion, it's a better story, albeit a bit longer to compensate.
That's also a good sign. And I imagine, that six months or so from now, I can look back at it and see where it can be improved further than that. It's stuff like that that shows you've grown as a writer, and can willingly take criticism or see potential improvements. By no means is the fic the best thing on this site in its current state. It can likely be improved on various areas, but at my current writing level, I may be somewhat blind to what they are exactly. Over time, I'll be able to see what I couldn't before.
And I think that's beautiful. Check it out if you wish.
And as for my writing, it's not dead. I do have stuff in progress, but real life has kicked in right now and I'm not going to rush or force anything. My next fic could end up being released in January 2015 for all I know, but if it happens, it happens. I guess all I can say is thanks for patience if you've been waiting for a new story.
But for now, keep at it, and you can see through the cracks that you couldn't before. Like anything, writing improves over time. I'm starting to get that, so that can only mean better things for the future.
Or you could unsubmit it. Then no one sees it except for you.
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I thought about that too, and it's a valid solution. Though I think I've decided on my option above: keep it up to let myself and others know when I started from. It'll be a nice reminder. Maybe months ahead in the future, I'll have a change of heart and actually edit it. Who knows? At the moment, I'm not feeling that, but I'm not exactly going to defend it against criticism. It has its problems, and I know what they are.
I've actually been tackling a few of my other stories as well, looking them over for improvements. I've got my work cut out for me, in a sense, though all that happens at the end of the day is better writing.
2618452 Oki doki. Whatever works, I guess.