My Review Over "Pride And Punishment" · 6:24am Nov 9th, 2014
Hello there and this is my first review! If there is a fic you would like me to check out than do so tell me.
I am not a hater to any fanfic no matter how terrible it is. All fanfics have there Pros and Cons.
Pride And Punishment was created by FieryFilly, it was a sequel to The Verdict which I didn't read so some of the information here will be false unless proven correct, but remember just take this like a joke. Now this was not a clopfic no matter how much the name sounded like it. Though there were several scenes full of sexuel content and an unecissory shipping to add. The story wasn't the worst I've ever read, but it was hard to enjoy for the whole period of the time.
The fic doesn't even warn you on the sex scenes because there is no sex tag. Yes fanfiction.net has sex tags as well. The whole plot of the story is Trixie going out for revenge. Let me explain it.
Trixie tries to prank Celestia and accidently poisoned her. How do you accidentally poison someone?
Trixie get tortured weeks to come and will be sentence to execution. Wait... tortured? I thought this was Equestria, where friendship is magic.
Unnecessary scene where they tell the background story of a character we only see for a few minutes in the first chapter then never see again.
Trixie gets raped by guards and impregnated then says she wants the baby.
Trixie escapes.
Trixie finds Twilight and kills her... wait... What? Twilight had nothing to do with what happened, and it was a week from Rarity's birthday!
Trixie cuts off Twilights head while forcing spike to watch and then sending the head to Princess Celestia while she sleeps and cuddles up to it just like what happens in the Godfather.
Sorry, would put a pic but I can just never figure this out.
Also that's way too dark.
Celestia goes crazy and begins to do things like nail a family of ponies to the pillars of a windmill.
Celestia finds out her sister has been having affairs with a guard then kills that guard, rapes her sister, and orders another guard to do so.
Five minutes later we go back to Trixie and Luna finds her. Wait... What? That fast! Luna is a better detective than a jealous woman who does more research than the FBI.
Luna invites Trixie... TO HER MIND!!!
Luna explains she wants to kill her sister as much as Trixie does. *The most epic face palm to the face you will ever see*
They suddenly start making out and doing sexual things even though Luna was raped several times no more than twenty minutes ago.
Next day they get ready and do it again
They arrive at the castle and there are barely a few guards to help them, even though Princess Luna said the guards were putting up a resistance.
They all fight off very many guards and seem to just run into room from room.
They enter a large room and what is left of the Elements of Harmony would be there.
Celestia uses her voice and orders them to kill each other.
Celestia makes Pinkie Pie die a horrible painful death even though she did nothing to set her off.
Celestial teleports into to the room for about thirty seconds which is long enough to kill her there and grabs Rarity than teleports out. Really they had more than enough time to kill her on the spot why did they wait?
They run into the last room and as it turns out, the sun is in there while Rarity is directly under it. Really? Biologically she would be dead by now. You cannot be that close to the sun and just get a few sun burns. The others would be dead as well.
Celestia lowers the sun and kills Rarity. Another unnecessary death.
After so much fight Celestia teleports everyone but Luna and Trixie outside to fall to their deaths. The elements live by the way, but the guards don't.
Celestial throws Trixie to the wall than pinns Luna and tries to molest her just to be save by the elements.
It all ends with Celestia being stabbed.
Applejack holds a sword up to Trixie's neck and Luna tells her not to.
Applejack spares Trixie. Wait... what? But She's responsible for everything that has happened. Not to mention she killed Twilight in a very messed up way.
Luna and Trixie than begun doing more sexual things while Celestia watches and bleeds out.
Than we're left with a cliffhanger.
So yes so much wrong with this fic, but you know what? This fic wasn't the worst fabric I've ever read. Fan fiction.net is the kind of website where so many writers don't take their writing seriously and only make chapters about a minute long. Most don't really bother overlooking it and fixing errors. Really an edit wouldn't kill.
2/10 I gave him a two since he/she did better at spelling plus grammar than most.
So yes not a positive first review. All well bring it on future fics. If you have one you want me to check I'll do so.
(This was written in one hour during my lazy hour so I didn't bother fixing errors. Sorry this won't happen again. It goes against the rules of criticism I made. Which will be given in a future blog)
Since it's not tagged as an Alternate Universe, I wholeheartedly agree.
AHAHA WHAT
I HAVE TO READ THIS
If there's a Dark tag, it's totally fair game.
Holy Celestia's balls this has some freaking dynamite stuff.
Not to mention that Trixie was raped and wanted a baby for it.
Wait, Pinkie Pie is there? Where did she come from?
That's, uh... Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy, right? RD would catch AJ, Flutters wouldn't be strong enough to carry a pony. It works well enough.
Damn that's hot.
I like your reviews, Mr Pancrake. This was entertaining.
2584034 Thanks glad you liked it. Also here is the picture I was referring to.
It's kind of graphic and I'm sure you've already seen The Godfather, but here you go.
http://www.billdamon.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Horsehead.png
2584174
Thanks for the warning. I'm actually at work right now.
My siblings watched it when I was around, I think, many many years ago... but I remember nothing from that movie series.