The Cynical Brony: Episode 10: "Rainbow Falls Review" · 10:19pm Nov 4th, 2014

Hello, I'm The Cynical Brony, and I review it so you don't have to! As I've made abundantly clear, Rainbow Dash is my favorite character of the show. So today, I have a Dash episode to review! It's from season 4, so it should be amazing! Queue the theme song while I go watch it!

ONE VIEWING LATER...

-_- Derpy, get the booze. I'm going to need them for this review.
No sir, I didn't like it. What the HELL, guys? You were doing so well with season 4! Why did you break your great record?! WHY?! Today, I'm going to review the worst episode of the series! Let's dig into Rainbow Falls!
Alright, let's see how many seconds in before they drop the ball. 5 seconds! Wow, the only time an episode has failed quicker was in the Power Puff Girls! Question: Why is Angel there? Also, why can't Bulk Biceps fly when he was in the Wonderbolts a season ago? Why in the 9 circles of Hell is Fluttershy trying out for the Olympics?! She is the worst possible person for a sport, not even mentioning her fear of large crowds! Good God, 20 seconds in and I already feel like they're throwing in fan pandering to cover for this awful episode. Then Rainbow becomes an exposition dumping machine. What the actual Hell happened to Pinkie Pie?! She's an annoying idiot here, not a slightly quirky comedy relief character. On a side note, the dialogue here is awful. We get some more flanderized behavior from the Mane 6, and I'm bored, so, NEXT SCENE! And theme.

We cut to the gang on a train.
Douchebags: "Sorry we couldn't fly with you during the aerial relay, but the air sprinters needed us too.”

???
Writer, you do know that athletes during the Olympics can compete in multiple sports, right? Or are you just an idiot who didn't bother looking at the real world equivalent before righting this trash? Corey Powell, huh? What else did she write? Oh, Just for Sidekicks. I get it now. The worst part is, she knows how to write Dash, as seen in Sleepless in Ponyville, yet she releases this... abomination! When Twilight's a bigger asshole than Applejack, you're doing something wrong. Dash strokes her ego a bit, but has good reason. She's the best flyer in Equestria, and can easily win it. Considering she can go several times the speed of sound without breaking a sweat, she's got to be better than her teammates. Also, I guess my one off joke from the RF review about Biceps was true, considering that Bulk is crushing Fluttershy to death. Pinkie is still an idiot. Oh, and look, Rarity is an egotistical idiot who doesn't care about Dash and Fluttershy's great accomplishment. Way to go, Corry, you're an idiot. We get to see Rainbow Falls, and it's the ugliest place I've ever seen. The colors are dull, it's rather empty, and nothing really stands out. Why, hello, Pegasus versions of Doctor Whooves and Bon Bon, as well as Berry Punch and some griffons. Nothing of substance is happening, so NEXT SCENE!

Huh, Dash found a way to stroke her ego and be supportive of her teammates at the same time. Interesting.
"I'm with her. Hooray."
Twilight sounds so very excited, you know, with the lack of actually raising her voice. We then get more flanderized, stupid Pinkie. Ms. Powell assumes the audience is too stupid to remember what was said two minutes ago, and repeats again that they're there for the relay race. Bulk sucks at flying, and Applejack's a rip-off artist. Hurrah. Everyone here is an idiot except Dash, oh wait, she's an idiot too! Why the Hell, out of every other Pegasus we saw in Hurricane Fluttershy, did she pick the two worst flyers in town?! When they go to watch the Wonderbolts, Soarin breaks his wing. Dash saves him, and Spitfire is a manipulative bitch. Seriously, she's actively lying and coaxing Dash into joining their team. They aren't even concerned about Soarin's health! Fleetfoot is just as bad, and I want them to go jump in front of a bus. Scratch that, go jump in front of a train.
"I'll do it."
Dash, if possible, I would punch you in the face right now.

Next we get a bunch of filler, which consists of Dash training with the Wonderbolts. Then Twilight tries to blackmail Rainbow Dash. Go to Hell, Twilight. Spitfire manipulates Dash further, to the point of getting her to quit the Ponyville team.
"If you fly for Cloudsdale, Pinkie won't have anyone to cheer for. Rarity's uniforms will never be seen. Applejack would have slaved over a stove for nothing."
That's a good message for the kids: don't ever follow your dreams, or you'll ruin the lives of everyone around you! That totally won't give kids a bad path in life, right? Dash, after realizing she would disappoint her friends if she joined Cloudsdale, asks Twilight for advice. Twilight basically tells her to fuck off. I'm reconsidering my fondness for you, Sparkle. NEXT SCENE!

We see Dash put on the most unconvincing disguise since Pinkie the Haystack. Huh, Dash is a worse liar than Applejack. Maybe she should have been honesty. To think she used to be a damn good actor. It's almost like the writer didn't think about continuity. After getting Dash to the medical tent, Applejack tries to kill Rainbow by suffocating her to death. I tried to find a meme for this, but I couldn't come up with results. We get some lame jokes, and Fluttershy references a replacement for Dash. Then we see Derpy walk through the door. I have a few things to say about this.

1. You were Dash's replacement, Derpy?
Yes, I was. I was the first person they found outside and they said I was to fly in the race.
Huh, interesting.

2. Damn it, Corey! You can't shove Derpy in our face and expect us to forgive this abomination of an episode

Oh goody, it's a key episode. Now I can't watch the "Keys of Friendship" arc without having to sit through this again. So, after a chat with Soarin', Dash has her confidence back and marches over to the Wonderbolts and chews them out. After some banter, Dash is finally back in character. And so, the episode ends with Ponyville qualifying and a crappy letter to Celestia or diary entry or something, I don't care. This episode... gah! To Hell with thee, Rainbow Falls! Who thought this was a good idea?! With a lackluster script, awful story, and everyone being horribly out of character, I give this garbage a -5/10. It's bad when you make Friendship is Witchcraft look good by comparison! I'm The Cynical Brony, and I review it so you don't have to!

Credits:
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Lauren Faust and Hasbro Inc.
"Rainbow Falls" by Corey Powell. I'll never forgive you for it.
"Friendship is Witchcraft" is owned by Sherclop Pones.
The linked title card at the beginning is done by me.
Clips:
"Not Funny" from The Nostalgia Critic.

Report The Cynical Brony · 281 views · #The Cynical Brony Reviews

Comments ( 3 )