Top 5 review: Seventh Son Movie Trailer

So before I began writing, I usually read. I don't do nearly as much reading as I should (my college professors would attest to this) but I did read one series. The Last Apprentice. Okay, I honestly only read the first three books because they are hard to come by and they're kinda old. However, a movie adaptation is coming out and can you guess how I feel about it?

Deep breath in, oh good lord. Okay, so there is a lot to cover here, but I don't want to go on a full blown rant on all that is wrong with this movie. So, if you don't want to see me complain about it being the poorest excuse of an adaptaion ever, skipe to point one on this first list.

5. Jeff Bridges as The Spook.
This is high on the list for a reason. Jeff Bridges has the old man look down, and an old man that can take care of himself. What he can't get rid of is that cowboy action star feel to him. Throughout the books, the Spook was actually very reserved and wise, and normally incapacitated during major events. I doubt this will be the case, and I doubt wise old man is how he will come off as instead of gunslinger.

4. Boggarts are visible. And demonic
Once more, high on the list for a reason. In the books the boggarts were lost spirits who held on a little too tight to the world and would be mischevious. We would call them poltergeists. These things were tough to fight and had to be bound to a pit on their layline once 'smoked out'. In this, bring a sword across that trolls throat and I bet the fight is done. That is lame, especially since the Spook is supposed to have one that lives with him.

3. Alice and Mr. Ward
So Tm Ward is the Last Apprentice, as the book series would imply. What the series never said was that there were no other spooks and that that was why Tom was the last apprentice. In fact, Tom looks twenty in this. In the book he is given apprenticeship to the Spook by his father at the age of twelve (or thirteen) and this age of his and childlike mentality is a large part of his character and explains why so much of the plot happens. Him older and having this giant burden on him doesn't make sense. Yes, in the books he is made out to be a chosen one, however, the Spook never acknowledges it by actively searching for him. Also, Alice. Alice is a young witch (same age as Tom though she looks 16 here) who doesn't want to be evil like her mother and grandmother. Once more though, her being young and childish force her to be idealistic at times and not want to abandon her family. Also, Tom and her becoming friends is the major plot of the first book, and I doubt it will get the same depth it should beyond, "You're hot." "I'm a witch." "You're still hot." So yeah, not high hopes for these characters being themselves, especially since they aren't even the right ages.

The Spook is not a Spook.
That doesn't sound possible does it. However, here is what a Spook is in the book. He is a man of a craft dedicated to dealing with the forces that others cannot see nor fight, and binding them to the ground, killing them only when necessary. Their main tools are pits, their minds, salt and iron (based in normal superstition), a silver chain (again based in superstition), and wooden staves of different woods. Any guesses where that is based. SUPERf***INGSTITION! Not only that, but they have to deal with witches who will never die unless they feel the agonizing burn of death by fire while combatting being all alone because of who they are and how few their numbers are (still not only one though). Also, they walk everywhere, so no horse drawn carriage unlike these glorified Templar knights. Seriously, I'm sick and tired of fantasy stories going swords drawn and that is how you win. I will choose the complicated moral and ethical decisions a real Spook has to deal with over these Camelot wannabes any day.

1. It's been done before and done recently and done better.
This is looking at it just as a movie. As a movie, it looks like a convoluted plot filled good versus evil, demon slaying, fantasy adventure. Filled with witches. Gee, add some very out of period weaponry and that sound familiar Hansel and Gretel Witch hunters. Add some more giants and it starts sounding even more familiar with the farm boy and knights being useless add-on Jack the giant slayer. And what does this have that breaks this mold. Nothing. Absolutely nothing is shown that should grab anyone's interest except showing Asura as an enemy. Even R.I.P.D. (the only movie I really know Jeff Bridges from) did this whole fantasy versus demons thing better!

So yeah, I don't like what they've done to my series. However, I will try to be kind and point out some things that could be looked forward to and some of the licenses that are understandable. So here are five things I can find bearable about the trailer.

5. Jeff Bridges as The Spook.
Honestly, if he can leave that accent behind for the most part and actually assume a teaching position without being a complete dick, I couldn't think of anyone better. I know this was on what I found bad about the trailer, but it really will depend on how much he cares about this role. If it feels like Jeff Bridges it will feel nothing like the Spook. However, he has the look to make you buy The Spook doing some awesome stuff, while being old and frail. So yeah, I actually somewhat approve the casting choice seeing as it is almost an impossible one to get right.

4.The action looks fantastic.
The small bit of fighting we do get to see is on a grand scale and hardcore. Seeing as these are the guys that continued the 300 series (and I heard it was okay) I think they'll at least give testosterone boners to the guys in the audience who lioke pure action and violence. I am not one of those, but I can still appreciate well done fighting.

3.The witch is hot.
In the books being a witch taints your soul. Because Alice hasn't gone to the dark side, she hasn't had the taint yet. So she should look good. But there is only one book explanation (and boy would it be a weak connection and probably bullshit) for why that main antagonist looks that good. I can appreciate eye candy, and won't groan at the change.

2.The time period.
Even though part of what made Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters at all enjoyable (it was an okay movie. Jack was better.) was the ridiculous weaponry, I have to give props to them still using swords and such. It is much more impressive to take down a giant or demon with simply medieval weapons then a practical machine gun. That to me shows some care to keeping things straight, even if not the book.

1. The monsters
I'm not gonna try to identify what they are. They aren't anything I've seen in the series, so i already know that it will probably be a bit of bullshit, especially since the first monster they run across looks like a troll. But damn does that troll look amazing. Even with them looking mainly like rip offs of demons, dragons, and trolls, there is enough artistic creativity that I could easily see them being some people's nightmare fuel. I know I'd be terrified of that last demon if he came at me and all I had was a sword.

So yeah, the bad definitely beats out the good in my opinion, mainly because a lot of the good points were givens. Will I go see it? If one of my friends pays, sure. Otherwise, it will only because of nagging curiosity and a want to prove myself right that will cause me to rent it one day. Anyways, leave your opinions below, I have college reading to get back to.