Luna's Lich Kicks my Butt

Luna sent me another dream, this one crazier than the last! This time, I was a roman centurion, and my two subordinates and I were in charge of policing a house party. This went great until a lich showed up. I ordered my men to flank it while I provided a distraction. However, I was forced to take refuge behind a conveniently placed pillar while the lich threw spells at me. They were paralyzing spells, and what I could only assume were instant death spells. My subordinates apparently screwed their task up bad, as I ran into one of their zombified corpses not five minutes later. I of course ripped off my tee shirt, ran up behind the zombie, and choked it to death with the tee shirt. Don’t ask me how that worked, but it did. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that none of the party goers even cared about any of this, there was no panic, not even mild concern. Anyway, I eventually found my boss… Anthro Spitfire, apparently; and told her I needed better weapons to combat the lich. She handed me two loaves of sliced bread. They were the kind that you bought at a super market, still in the plastic bags and everything. I rushed into battle with my bread loaves swinging behind me. I viciously attacked the zombie, and it just stood there and gave me this look. A look that said that it had finally found something less intelligent then it, and it was mindless. After a few minutes of this crap the zombie ripped the bread loaves out of my hands and began to chew on them, apparently deciding my brain wasn’t worth eating. I quickly retaliated by ripping off my shirt and whipping the zombie with it. Although this was effective, it wasn’t the one hit blow that I was looking for. I tackled the zombie to the ground and then ripped its eye out; thus slaying it. Unfortunately, while I was distracted the lich had snuck up behind me, and now stood over me. I turned around just in time to see the lich poke me with its bony finger, killing me instantly. Thusly, the dream ended.