I Wish I'd Take My Own Advice · 2:16am Aug 7th, 2014
In case you couldn't tell, this blog's gonna be a rant. There's your warning: proceed at your own discretion.
Most of you know I'm a friendly, supportive guy. I'm always striving to make the people that I care for content, confident, and above all, happy. Whenever a friend, or even a stranger, is in need, I don't hesitate to offer them a hand. I'll tell them they're great, they can get through it, people are capable of amazing things. And they are. I've seen it myself just how awesome people can be.
The downside is I can't seem to see that in myself.
I tell people how they can overcome anything they want to, and I know that I can too, but I don't, and I hate myself for not being able to, and then the cycle repeats. Bored, sad, angry, bored, sad, angry. All I want is for someone to tell me they care, someone to hold me and whisper sweet nothings, someone I can trust with anything.
Fuck, I just want someone to say it'll be alright.
It's hard putting on a strong facade when you're crumbling inside.
*Runs over and gives a Hug*
It's okay. We all need help from one another every now and then (or even all the time).
Now I'm not Doctor Wolf, but I'll be here for you, if you want.
Everything is going to be alright.
That first day. That first fucking day when you actually replied to my message on here, I knew you were a good friend. The following day, when you gave me your gamertag on xbox and we hit it off, I knew you were going to be better than a good friend. Now after all this time, I can't tell more truth than ApplePone in court unless I'm saying that I deeply care about you. I would go as far to hold you if so needed, but given your sexual preference (which I respect), I don't think I'd be much help. But the point is that I do genuinely care about you, and it saddens me to see you post these blogs. You're a fantastic person who works hard. Over the year, you've told me how you get into trouble waiting for the last minute to do school projects. But guess what; you graduated, and I take that as a great success. Same thing when you said you wanted to save up for the xbox one. You even got yourself a job to earn your own money. You've had girlfriends and you lost girlfriends yet here you are, still writing away, so don't tell me some bullshit that you're not awesome because those are just the things that I've seen. I'm so sure you've done so much more. Someone on tumblr described it as our greatest traits are shown on our backs. Because we carry them wherever we go, yet, we have trouble seeing them. And most of the time, we're caught feeling jealous or unworthy because we see others' traits as they pass by. But that doesn't mean you have nothing or aren't capable of anything. You have things that make you special, things that make you who you are. You may not be able to see them, but we do. It's there, believe me. And we all care about you.
Here. I think you could use more RAINBOWS in your veins.
You're not the only one. I've been crumbling day by day for the past few months and have attempted seppuku four times in the past six weeks. I know how you feel.
I wish I could say "you are amazing!" And in many ways you are, I love your stories!
But I can't say that, because i'm in that exact.same.position....ok with a few differences.
I always tell people how I love they're personalities, that they shouldn't change, yet I feel like I SHOULD change! I feel like a blank slate that can be dyed any color, yet my (nonexistent) friends say I do have a great personality. My brother says my personaility shows when I find something that i'm interested it *cough*like video games*cough* I don't k know, and it makes me stressed and sad because of it.
So I wish I could say that, but I first should be taking that advice as well....
I hope things'll get better though!
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This...
This brought tears.
I wish- I truly do -that I could give you what you've given me. You've helped me through so much, I can say with certainty that you are the single greatest friend I have ever had. Just... You've done so much. So much. It means more than I can describe to see that. I...
Shit, I'm a sniffling mess right now. I can't even compose this like I normally do.
Just...
Thank you.
Since I can't seem to edit my own comment (keeps crashing) i'll just make a new one and say it's an edit!
EDIT: Also it seems your friend Butt Stallion and you have a great relationship, I would say your in a better position than me. Even if I have the same issue, i'll say this and try to listen to my own words.
I don't know you from a personal level, but from what i've seen with your blog posts, your stories, and everything else I can see on Fimfiction. Your a great writer, goofy, and just overall good to be around. Out of all the writers on fimfiction, your by far my favorite! ^_^