Chapter Revision and A Request

Dear Readers,

I've just posted a revised version of the third chapter of Thirteen Moons. Hopefully, it addresses all of the issues that were brought up by various readers. But that is not all I wished to discuss with you.

Very recently, I submitted Thirteen Moons to Equestria Daily. Tonight, I received their response, and unfortunately, the story was not accepted. The main issues, according to the pre-reader who emailed me, were repetitive words and phrases, and the use of "factual" language during Sunset Shimmer's fight with the chimera in the first chapter, which prevented it from being exciting. While I'm not angered or saddened by their decision, this rejection- along with the criticisms left by fellow site user MythrilMoth- have forced me to acknowledge a rather painful truth:

I am not nearly as good of a writer as I like to think that I am.

That is why I am now turning to you, dear readers, for assistance. I humbly ask if there is anyone among you (preferably, two among you) who would be willing to act as beta readers for me, and aid me in fine-tuning my story's chapters before submission. You do not need to be nice to my story. In fact, I don't want you to be nice to my story: if you think something I've written is the stupidest fucking thing ever put to paper, I want you to tell me exactly that. Hold nothing back.

Part of the reason why the Star Wars prequel trilogy was such a critical failure is because, unlike in the original trilogy, there was no one to rein in George Lucas and tell him, "No George, that's stupid. Don't do that." I am ashamed to admit that it took me this long to realize that if I want to be a great fanfiction writer, I can't (and shouldn't) be doing this alone.

Anyway, if there is anyone who would be interested in becoming a beta reader for me, then please send me a private message so that we can work out some sort of arrangement.

With All Due Respect,

Proteus-92