Dream's Pros and Cons Listing: Frozen Cons

This here is a completely opinion filled cons list for the film Frozen. You don't have to have the same opinions. In fact, I'm a very silly person who most people struggle to take seriously anyway. Enjoy.

CONS:
1. Beginning sounds like Lion King. I know, I know, that was in pros too. But it just sounds too much like it for me to forgive. There's a sense of disappointment when I remember I won't be watching The Lion King.
2. The beautiful (Lion King-esque) song quickly turns into the boring, pointless song. It may sound nice but it didn't add to my plot and character pleasures.
3. How is ice as horrible as they keep saying it is? Isn't that how they earn their money? I... don't get it.
4. Who's kid is Kristoff? None of the men really seemed to care he was touching the ice they claimed was dangerous.
5. Yes, Elsa, save your sister from falling off the snow by throwing snow at her. Smart move.
6. Where exactly are the guards and staff when they're creating snow in the ballroom as kids?
7. How was it the only people who know about the trolls seem to be Kristoff and the King?
8. Pointless trolls feel even more pointless by the end. Plus-- why does Granpappy know magic?
9. Yes, Granpappy troll, scare the child to death. That's the solution.
10. Anna sounds so diplomatic, caring and intelligent at first, doesn't she? What happened in two years, Anna? What happened?
11. So, do the people working in the palace know about Elsa and her abilities? They couldn't help her at all through these problems? Meanies.
12. Random swing is random (even if it was a window washers platform... She was so lucky nobody was on that... and that the bucket didn't fall off now I think about it). I do kind of want one though. Also-- couldn't you have, I don't know, lowered the swing and got out a year ago... or, you know, just walk out the door. It's not like there seems to be any guards or servants that'd stop you.
13. Nobody really seems to care/notice about the dancing Princess in the streets? Okay then, obviously not.
14. Why exactly does she have to remove the gloves during the ceremony? Is it just a 'plot needs' thing?
15. Okay, I know it was just a cameo moment, but where were Eugene and Rapunzel during the trouble? Surely, considering what they've both been through, they could've helped? Meanies.
16. Elsa seems too--- calm in the dance scene. Considering how panicked she is before and after this scene she seems remarkably okay around strangers and Anna. It was the one moment with Elsa I felt she was out of character, which is sad because I liked the idea of her character so much.
17. 'I wish it could be like this always'. 'It can't'. 'Why not?'. 'Because Life's Too Short, Anna'. Sorry, my mind instantly said this on rewatching.
18. On the scene were Hans said about his brothers pretending he was invisible: I wish you and Kristoff were invisible too, Hans. It's not just your brothers. *sigh*.
19. So when exactly did Hans choose Anna over Elsa? Before he'd even met Elsa, right? Makes sense.
20. That proposal is still jarring. It's way too quick, even for a Disney Film. I'm a real lover of childrens programs, films, books etc., but, just no, it jarred me away from the plot. I spent the next few minutes confused, dazed and annoyed. (Anna's previous intelligence just left the window here, didn't it? Not to mention, her parents clearly died when she was a teenager. Somehow I feel like they must have instilled common sense in her before they died).
21. What do the gloves do exactly? They're just flimsy material, right? Oh well, Disney symbols is Disney symbols... even if they make no sense.
22. Okay, I'm just going to say it-- Hans' plan makes no sense. There are so many faults with it it's ridiculous.
23. Oh look magical snow in Denmark (I'm still unsure where it is, there's too many links to other places. Anderson was Danish so I'll roll with that). Well, I never. It can't be snow. Not here of all places.
24. If the gloves can hold in her powers why, when she runs across the water, don't her shoes?
25. 'Bring me my horse'-- Wait, when did Miss-I-Never-Go-Outside learn to ride a horse? Why does she even have a horse? Where was the stableman when Elsa ran out in fear?
26. Where's the regent or the person who arranged the coronation? Did they just skip town before all this went down? Surely they would be a better choice than Hans to leave in charge. Anna is not only an idiot now, but a jerk to the people who look after her.
27. Why did the guards/servants let both the princesses leave? Surely there's laws against that? These people need firing.
28. Elsa, what are you planning to eat whilst you're up there? Do you eat ice? In which case-- you create your own food? The more I think about this, the more I want to know.
29. A MESSAGE FROM MY MOTHER: Elsa, dear, what are you planning to do whilst you're up there? Mope? I would say build snowmen, but you obviously wouldn't want to do that.
30. A land whose biggest profit comes from ice-- and Anna owns no winter clothes to take with her up the mountain? Seriously?
31. Did you actually bring money to buy that stuff from Oaken, Anna? Did he really just believe you were the Princess, even though nobody's ever seen you before?
32. Oaken's wearing winter clothes-- he knows about the storm-- but he's selling summer supplies? This man has no business sense.
33. Why exactly is Kristoff wearing winter clothes if it was Summer when he started out?
34. Kristoff has ice with him? But-- but--- either ice isn't wanted, like you said, because of the snowstorm-- or it would have melted in the Summer sunshine before you got it to Arandelle. Your sled isn't a freezer, you know.
35. So Kristoff doesn't recognise the girls from an important childhood event-- surely he knew they were the royal family, and so knew it was Anna and Elsa.
36. Anna, destroying poor men's property since 2014.
37. You know, for a clumsy girl, Anna's a good shot. Also, Kristoff's incredibly lucky that pick axe didn't hit him.
38. Olaf is kick-worthy creepy when they first meet. Then suddenly Anna accepts him-- almost instantaneously after the kicking. Er--- I'd probably take a bit longer to accept this if it happened to me.
39. How'd they not notice the giant ice palace on their way up? Olaf notices the staircase-- but not the palace.
40. So, Elsa's not more surprised she brought life?
41. Why didn't Elsa (in reprise) put a quick ice wall in front of Anna so she couldn't follow? She was quite far ahead on the staircase. She wouldn't have hit her.
42. Elsa doesn't notice the storm she's making in reprise. I would have probably just walked back down the staircase if that had been me-- and you know, put that ice wall up so Anna couldn't follow.
43. Oh yes, why try and protect your little sister when you can set a snow monster on her (don't give my sister ideas, now). Also, Elsa, after just finding out she can bring life, can now do it easily.
44. Must have been a major case of whiplash from that rope. Somebody call A and E.
45. Landing on snow from a great height is like a pillow? I know Disney creates a suspension of belief, but seriously? All those skiing and snowboarding accidents must be faked then. Maybe I'll finally give rocket skiis a go... as long as I land in fresh snow I'll be fine, right? Right, Disney? Right?
46. 'Don't worry about my ice business', even though that's all I've cared about up to this point.
47. How is Kristoff an orphan? Did a reindeer raise him before the trolls?
48. The trolls don't remember Anna either? They don't even remember her hair? Weird.
49. Silly Anna, hair colour isn't a birth mark, it's a hair colour.
50. Pointless trolls sings pointless song. I replaced their song with 'Make Some Noise' from Sofia the First whilst watching the scene-- pretty much worked.
51. Granpappy awakes, not in the loud song, but after it's finished.
52. Why'd Olaf have to come with them to find Hans? Not that I don't love him or anything, but why?
53. So, Hans risked his own life to save a Queen he was planning to kill anyway? He really didn't think any of this through, did he?
54. Hans told the men Anna was dead-- and not one of them thought to go check he was right? He's not a medical professional, guys. And Hans-- how would you know if one of the servants or guards just randomly went to clean or do something in that room, find Anna and get you arrested? Oh, who am I kidding, they're probably on tea break again. Silly, silly servants.
55. They accept Hans' word about their sharing of vows without a witness, or a signature, or anything. I'm no expert, but I don't think that's how marriages work-- especially with royalty. If that was the case I could go and get the throne if I wanted.
56. How'd Hans and Elsa get back before Kristoff, Sven and Anna? Even if the trolls were further away, they were way ahead of them.
56. The cardinal sin to end all of cardinal sins-- I don't like Kristoff. I know what you're going to say-- I had no problems with his characterisation, his humour or anything-- I hated him for one reason only-- the forced romance. Why tell us this is going to be an Anti-Disney film (which I dispute for it's traditional Disney format) if you're going to go all Disney on us anyhow. It felt forced-- even more cliché than I usually like, and I love clichés (seriously, ask anyone). Maybe in a second film or something they could find a true love but not now-- oh please, no, not now.

On a more pleasant note, I'd love some follow up stories to go into more detail on Frozen. I can't help it I like the premise, and the songs. I love all of the ideas for characters, even if they weren't pulled off very well in my opinion. I want to know more about the land that is Frozen-- just, you know, without it being Frozen (she says, going to listen to Life's Too Short for the gazillionth time today).

Hope you enjoyed (if you managed to get through this, which you might not have). Tell me if there's anything you'd like me to do a Pros and Cons list for. I'm happy to do it (except horror. Sorry, guys, I like to sleep at night). It can be an MLP episode, a film, another program-- you name it. Thanks.

Your friendly, neighbourhood,
DreamWings