Honestly surprised that I caught one of these, but what the hell. I've seen people doing this all the time on DA and Tumblr, it was only a matter of time until it hit Fimfic and, consequently, me. Honestly, a little bit of me actually wants to do this. It feels good toVery Important Halo: Contact Equestria Blog. If you follow this story, you really want to read this and comment. · 10:55am May 15th, 2012
Okay people. This is serious business. I have been mulling over how to deal with H:CE. It's invariably come to your attention that I don't update it frequently any more. The more astute among you might also recognise the steady decline in quality. Once I am done with my exams, I'll have like two months of time to properly devote to something. I plan on rewriting Halo: Contact Equestria. What is crucially important for this is knowing at what point it went wrong. I need to know what people liked and what people hated. I need to know where people began to lose interest. I want to know how to fix this. I don't like the story in it's current state. That's a fact. At one point I absolutely loved this story. That's also a fact. For me, the magic began to lose it, as you can probably guess, around Chapter Seven. Before that though, there are still things I didn't like. I'm going to list most of the key elements here as a convenient reference. Just tell me what you liked and what you didn't like:
Susan Marie Pie Arc (Not actually explored yet)
The Bakery Battle (Pinkie's cake volley)
The Ship Scene at the Start
The Crash Landing (Pelican or Frigate)
Earnest the Astronomer
Sweet Apple Acre's Skirmish
The Lumber Mill Encounter
Gracchus's Division
Marius's Assassination
Mercs Breaking Out Humans
Cultists
Bejewelled Sabre's Insurrection
Humans Being Captured by Ponies
Flood Sacking Village
Captain Lairsey's Corruption (The Dream Sequence)
Eriksson's Flashback
If anyone has any other points don't hesitate to bring them up. If people would rather see the story continue in its current state... well, I guess I could do that. I wouldn't like it, but I would do it.
As long as the story goes on, I will be fine!
I'm going to have to say I didn't like Bejewelled Sabre (though kind of a good thing, she's a bitch villain) or the sudden cult/mercenaries with useful Forerunner tech somehow built into Equestria. Maybe Lairsey getting taken over, but that could be done well. Actually, better: Flood Alpha + Nightmare = "Oh shit" super enemy
I liked the town getting absorbed and those towns-ponies holding out against the infected, and the way you explained the Flood being there in the first place was good without being too 'perfect'.
What i liked: a lot of it
what i didn't like: too many characters, and you killed off the female pelican pilot, who actually was kind of likable
erikson's name was kind of... what?
if you cut back on the astonishingly large number of OCs, maybe kept patton alive, the rest seemed pretty solid.
116928 Actually, yeah, I agree. Far too many characters.
@Cainiam Add most of his stuff on to my list, except where it contradicts my previous comment. Then it'll probably be better.
Sorry to make yet another comment, but a new idea struck me: A squad of Commando Elites should be on board (this IS during the Covenant Civil War after all), most of whom survive the moon crash (if you're still doing that) and make it to Equestria with the humans. I just think it would be good for different interactions about Sangheili methods and culture with the humans and ponies. Even if there's only one or two, it opens up some new paths the story can take to be better.
116938 That's actually a brilliant idea. I didn't include the Covenant due to the whole already having so many factions thing, but if they were already Loyalists... Yes. If I only used like four humans and two Elites... then I could cut back majorly on the characters and add some real variety to the table. Having not just one but two different types of alien with unique culture could be pretty exciting. I might just have to use that. Thanks.
116928 Yeah. I tried to culturally diversify the crew by name to show the whole United Earth thing the UNSC seem to be going for. I couldn't think of anything Norwegian... except, well... the guy who discovered Greenland.
Patton would be pretty hard to keep alive. As a VI I don't know how'd he be motile. Could he be kept on the Captain? Would he need a laptop or somekind of box? While I do like the idea, I don't know how'd I facilitate it.
116927 The idea behind that was that Lairsey would be flooded and Nightmare would infect the Alpha, but I kinda side lined it so I could pick up the pace on the main story. I can definitely cut the cultists and mercs without any problems.
Did you like the fact that there was a Monitor? Perhaps I could keep him as a character in the final act as it were. Did you think the Insurrection added anything though? I could keep her as an officer, but cut the actual rebellion. Keep the Flood as the numero uno enemy as it were.
116926 Really? You can't think of any way in which it could be better? I'm open to suggestions now if you'd like anything particular to happen, or any characters to develop?
116930 I got it. I have Female Pilot Pritchard , Flood Scientist/Doctor Stamford, Angry Marine Sergeant Bunting and Captain Lairsey as the human cast. Two Elites could join as well to make up the six man landing team. One of those Jetpack/Sniper guys because they're totally rad, and maybe one of those Observation guys from the books. If we have the Captain get captured when they crash land, the others can try to rescue him. Whadday think?
...Why always crash landing? I wish they'd just lose a slip space drive or something and come in landing the entire frigate right over Ponyville in a terrifying display like when the Dawn landed on the Ark.
you could keep patton in the captain's neural lace, or on a holochip ala cortana.
i mean, hell, he doesn't have to be a dumb AI, he could be a smart AI
To be honest, the cultists were a bit of a necessary shark-jump, but they at least kind of make sense, and add a bit of urgency only a Monitor can do.
Where you messed up is with Sabre. Not that she exists, but it should have been pushed off until there would be a reason for people backing her.
IE. Losing to the Flood.
Sabre also brought in about five plot arcs and fifty characters.
Also, something like a mobile phone or a microphone system could store Patton. No hologram, but who needs one, anyways?
Ok what I personally liked:
- Ship scene at the beginning
- Crash Landing of the pelican
- Secret Flood container (makes perfect sense, think of ME with TIM trying to control reaper tech, always some people trying to get the upper hand)
-Flood attacking the village and the associated arc
-Ponies capturing small group of UNSC
What I didn't like:
-Too many characters died too quickly, also in meaningless ways (Kendrick's for example)
-The first encounter with everyone being tied up etc seemed a bit silly but I did like how RD just ran in and was ready to go to defend everyone, very in character.
-The Earnest part of the story with him and Sinclair and the generator seemed believable but seeing as how they all just went off after that seemed utterly pointless.
-Parts of the story seemed to rush ahead when you had the perfect chance to add some really great scenes in.
Bits I would generally liked to see given more attention:
-First contact
-If a group of the crew do get captured then have a bit longer of cat and mouse between the forces, maybe a few skirmishes etc.
As you already know from my feeble attempts at prereading the first three or four chapters, I got too confused by the vast number of characters. A plethora of characters, if you will.
If you reduced the number I might actually be able to read it without too much brain slowing!
117104 I prefer the term cornucopia but I'm just being picky.
Yeah, I could refrain from naming the majority of the non-essential staff. Maybe give it more of an "abandon ship" feel than a coordinated and planned escape.
117011 Hmm. That certainly is an interesting idea. Keeping the frigate intact. It would change the entire nature of the fic. If the humans had a full marine complement then Equestria wouldn't really have a chance. I don't know if I like this or not. Maybe I could keep the Pelican intact, but still lose the frigate? Maybe the frigate pursue's a flood ship? And they offer their help? Hmm. This would lead to a very different story indeed, and I don't know if I like that.
117028 Is that capable of storing a VI? I would have liked for there to be a way to project him. It would be fun to have the ponies react to an angry man made of red light.
117088 Really? Where the cultists necessary? Maybe they were. But they'll definitely need a redesign. Maybe if they were a close-knit circle rather than the stupid high tech mob that I came up with. Maybe they're part robot? As in they actually put Forerunner tech into their bodies? I don't know, that sounds pretty cool.
Don't make me not have a hologram! Would a nerual lance actually work though? I know Keyes had one, but I'm not sure if it could handle a VI.
You're right about Sabre though. Having her as an endgame card would be useful. Maybe if I abolished Gracchus's division and Marius and all that, and just have Sabre as the officer.
Holograms are so cool
117097 That's good. I don't know if anybody actually liked the Village scenes. They were just fun to write.
Yeah, I know what you mean with the characters. That's why I want to cut it down from twelve to six. Each character will be important then, and I still have a few who could kick the proverbial bucket.
Honestly Kendrick was because I had way too many characters at the time.
I like fight scenes and I love trying to write them. They always seem a bit hit and miss, but I have fun.
Earnest's plotline got shelved when I realised that I couldn't run that and the Flood Alert parallel. I might keep him for near the end instead.
Do you have any examples of places I rushed?
First Contact should be important and I like the idea of skirmishes. I want to keep deaths to a minimum until the Flood show up on everone's doorstep.
117123
Oh, well...
Yeah, that'd be for an entirely different story.
Still, I freakin' love how impressive and intimidating it is to see one of those frigates come in for a landing.
117134 It was one of the highlights of "The Ark". That was one of the reasons that's probably my most played missions.
117135
Probably also because of all the tanks.
"Shall I help you choose a vehicle, Reclaimer? This one seems in fine condition--by primitive barbaric standards, of course."
"A tank's a tank, light bulb."
I can only agree...
117139 And of course, "Tank beats everything!"
117143
I blow up every phantom on that level, every time.
Explosions are beautiful, especially when composed of your enemies.
117149 Phantoms are the best things to shoot. I love the high pitched whine they make before they go boom. Scarabs do too, I guess, but they're a pain to blow up. The blue explosions make it more visually exciting too I think. Blowing up Covenant vehicles is always more fun than 'sploding human vehicles.
117123 Oh yea. Definitely a redesign.
And I think that VI chip thingy could run it.
Hell, look at phones now. They're only $300-600, and they're pretty powerful.
Apply future tech and military budget and you could probably fit an entire counsel of war in one of those things.
The projector would be the hardest part, but even that could be done.
117153
Speaking of Scarabs, I wish you could play as Hunters in some kind of new Halo that would come out...
You wouldn't be able to use most vehicles, but you could back up against a scarab's reactor and crawl out of the armor and drive that instead. (That's actually what's controlling the Halo 3/Reach scarabs, while the Halo 2 one is a machine)
>.>116953
I like the elite idea. The Rangers have silver armorial and dark blue visors, and the B.O.B.s are the same but with orange armorial. It would be cool to have them mainly the intimidation they would bring with them!
EDIT: Sorry about some of the spelling in my comments, my KIndle has a mind of it's own.
117227 Can anyone say omnitool? But yeah, a wrist mounted computer was on Halo Reach. Maybe if we combine the wrist computer with a projector?
117238 Maybe a puzzle game where you have to find other Lek'golo or whatever it was the worm things were called? Wait, that sounds ridiculous. A shooter would be pretty difficult to manage too. You're very good at thinking outside the box. I honestly don't know how that kind of game would work.
117310 Awesome. Looks like that'll definitely be in the rewrite.
117497
Thank you... I like to try.
But... puzzle game? What now?
I don't quite comprehend that which you're suggesting. You mean you have to play as an individual Lek'golo worm?
117507 You'd start off as one and find others as you go or something like that. Certain amounts of worms could lead to new abilities. I don't know. I just work here.
117540
Oh! Yeah, that would be rather interesting...
You'd probably have to get a few hunters' worth in worms to power up a scarab.
I think they work inside its plating as the very muscles that move the craft...
117497 I've been playing Fallout 3 recently, so that's 100% acceptable to me.
117719 Okey-doke. That's the cast decided then. I'll see about writing up a trial first chapter. See where I can take this.
On a side note I can't believe I'm thinking of omnitools and tacpads without even considering the awesomeness that is the Pip-Boy 3000.
116953>>117737 Sounds good! This is going to be even more awesome than before! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Trixie_lolface_1.png
117143 "Oh, man, I could do this all day!" dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png
Edit: Lo.l -> I've got three of ">>Cainiam" and it looks so odd.
117737
What.... How could you do this...?
118483 Lyra? Relinquish your emoticon folder, mortal!
118677 That's directed at the way I forgo about the Pip-Boy, right? Not because I'm starting a rewrite...
118483 Yeah. 118483 I'm 118677 So>>117737 Psyched 118483 It 118483 Hurts.
118705 Completely at the lack of a PipBoy, but if I were you, I'd make a H:CE v2 and keep the current one up for archiving purposes.
118963 Do you think I could get away with making Patton an AI? If this really is an ONI research operation, they might have leant one out, right? As fun as a VI is, Patton would benefit from a bit more freedom, don't you think?
119223 Ehh.. It's a stretch, but not undoable.
However, I think you should have a Viking instead of a WWII soldier. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
Could be fun. A comic relief asset with a waraxe. Plus. Luna vs Viking war shout competition.
118677 NEVAR! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Trixie_lolface_1.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png
...dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_TwilightWut.png IDEK.
119705 YES! ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE-OFF!!
118705 If it hurts, maybe turn it down a bit. NOT THE WRITING AND CREATIVITY, just the pain-causing excitement.. (as opposed to excitement-causing pain