Старое и новое · 2:26pm Jun 4th, 2012
Hi again, everypony! We are making rules blog post again, along with something new, so make sure to read untill the end!
MAIN INFO:
Hello again, everypony! We decided to refresh comission info-based post here, and also we have a few things to say, so read this post entirely! Or else i'll tell Misha that YOU stole his rubber ducky, heh-heh.
Wait... Did you said "rubber ducky"? MISTER FARNSWORD! Do you know where he is?
No, you're just hearing things. Here, drink some more vodka.
Oh... okay...
PART ONE: INTRODUTION
Anyway, for newcomers to Stalin's page we shall explain just who the hell we are and what are we doing here. First, the introductions.
MAIN TEAM:
Stalin the stallion
It's me! I am the main dood here! I am in charge of everything, expicially stalinviews! I making neutral comments and like to analyze stuff. I am kind at heart, but it is very easy to make me angry, so beware the WRATH OF STALIN the stallion!
Pioneer Dasha
Yo! I am the most critical of trio, Pioneer Dasha at your servise! I making critical comment and like to troll (although not like Cauterium). I am mean, so don't mess up with me, or you shall be Pioneer-owned!
Misha
*hic* Hi! I am Misha the bear! I like to drink vodka and play my balalaika all the time! *hic* i am making positive comments like "AWESOME" or "COOL"!!! Althou boss telling me that my comments arent helpfull... Oh well, as if i care! *hic*
SUPPORTIVE CAST
These guys are showing up as a guest in some stalinviews. There's more of them that we hasnt introduced yet, and they shall appear in that least when time shall come. Also, they aren't here right now, so i gonna introduce them all myself.
Cauterium
Main villian of Stalin's story "Dirge of Harmony". He is a smart guy, but he is a troll. If you shall see him in comments - RUN! All he doing is trolling, sometimes adding a little bit of analyze. And there is no way to stop his trolling...
Discord
UUUUGH! I HATE THIS GUY! If you don't know who he is, there is no place for you in Fimfiction! Just try to ignore him as we do.
Bahamut, the Dragon King
Ehhh from what i can gather he is a king of dragons... He promised to show up in many stalinviews, but he actually appeared only in one where he was debuted in. I don't know much about this guy...
Jerichio
We found him in Hoofington and decided to write him as support crew. He hasnt been in a single stalinview yet, so i dunno about his behavior.
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PART TWO: STALINVIEWS
Say, brother brony, ever wandered what "Stalinview" is? Ever seen us in comments of some stories and wandered just what the hell we are doing? Then this is place for you to learn!
Here's some F.A.Q on stalinviews!
Q: Just what the hell is a "stalinview"?!
A: Stalinviews are essentially non-critical reviews of your stories! Well, by "non-critical" i mean that we are talking about good things in your story, and not only bad things. We are pointing out plotholes, making fun of your story, giving some helpful advices et cetera.
Q: Things you did didnt looked like a review. Seriously, what the hell was it?
A: Well, yes. Stalinviews are not just ordinary reviews. It's mainly our real-time thoughts on your story in the form of comments.
Q: Do a stalinview have any requirements?
A: Indeed it does. Your story must have at least 70% more thumb ups than thumb downs. Why? Cuz we need to be entertained too, lol!
Q: How long it takes to make a stalinview?
A: Depends. It can be from one day to one week. Check the stalinview queue below to check your position!
OKAY, now, the rules of stalinviews!
Rule number one: If you going to mention to me in any form Ungodly Abormination of Maniacal Psychopath Number One you shall be ignored (by clicking at ignore button). You shall be ignored as well if you ask questions like "Why you don't like the Ungodly Abormination of Maniacal Psychopath Number One, it's so cool!". If you shall do it, i shall concider YOU maniacal psychopath as well. And ignored.
Rule number two:
If your story shall have a clear refference to Ungodly Abormination of Maniacal Psychopath Number One, i shall abort reading your story and ignore you.
Rule number three:
No sex. No gore. No comment.
Rule number four:
We DO NOT review grimdark! We want the story to give us POSITIVE feelings.
Rule number five:
We are NOT reviewing shipping with clear lesbian relationship. Why? Becacause buck you, that's why!
Rule number six:
We are not reviewing crossovers with universes we are unfamilliar with. Hovewer, we DO review crossover with universes we are familliar with.
TYPES:
Full: full detailed view on your story. Requirements: five or less chapters
Blitz: full detailed view on first three chapters and overview on the rest. Requirements: six or more chapters.
That's all for stalinviews! Check the stalinview queue below! Also, payment described below t\as well.
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PART THREE: ART COMISSIONS
Yeah, we are doing these too! And we are NOT taking money for these! Check payment section for details! We are making art like we are making stalinviews, once per day(minimum) -> week (maximum). Here's some examples:
Rules:
Lesser than 12 characters!
No sex, no gore.
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PART FOUR: PAYMENT
Ah, my favorite part! Please take on note that WE ARE NEVER TAKING MONEY FOR OUR WORK
Only currency we are accepting is comments. This currency applies both to Stalinviews and Comissions. Let me explain.
If you want to get something, you must give something in return. First rule of alchemy. If you want to get your own Stalinview or Art you must read one of my stories (WHOLE, not only first chapter) first and comment about it.
From size and detalization of comment depends the quality of my work for you!
For a full-pledged review i am ready to make both stalinview AND art. And more detailed and big your comment is, more effort i shall put in my work.
So, it basically means that comments like "Cool story bro! Now make me an art" will make me to make you half-assed version of art or stalinview.
Oh, and don't even try to powder my brain. I am a literature teacher, so it's obvious to me if you've read whole story or just pretending that you did.
Oh, and make sure to rate the story and "favorite" it. (Seriously, guys! Let poor old Stalin to keep his illusions about that you actually enjoyed his story!)
Oh, and as for second story "Shattered Reflections" - it is currently very short, but still counts as payment. BUT quality on work after reading SR shall be lower than after DoH.
To summarize, More effort you shall put in your comment/review, more effort i shall put in your art/stalinview/both.
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PART FIVE: THANKS!
Tnx to all who helped us to improve our story! Namely:
Mrcakebombs; Ponydora Prancypants; Thoth; Hoghound; Arby Works; Ezn; Steel Resolve; TheTypingFluttershy; Balancer; DemonRykuKyuubi; thewookie1; Darklordcomp; Eragon5055; Shire Folk (sorry for forgetting to put your name on your char on pic dude); datdamnface; Legacy55; Lieutenant Bubbles; Zhao Yang Cai; Red Fox14; Fordregha; Hydkore; The ArcadeLords; Jspang; Joural; Silent Breeze; EpicGuy; Golden Hoof; P0nies; Evowizard25; The Psychopath; benxlabs; Mr.Dependable; Gremlin Grenade and, of course, Crushric!
I remember you all, guys! Without you our stories woulda've been crap.
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MISSING!
I lost a story i supposed to finish Stalinviewing! This story is about Vinyl Scratch being a vampire! If you've seen this story, please contact me!
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LAST PART: QUEUES
Stalinview Queue:
1) The ArcadeLords
2) Aragón
?) Red Fox14
Art Queue:
1) Crushric
2) benxlabs
3) JJ Malcolm
4) datdamnface
Special Queue:
1) Gremlin Grenade
2) Dragon Emperor Geon
3) Evowizard25
It's OK. Remember, fame isn't everything.
Yea, I'm on the thanks thingie! Though I don't know what I did..
Still, do you want me to post a second chapter on my story I want you to Stalinveiw
or make art for before you can make a decision? Because the first chapter is pretty short.
EQD is evil I saw some of my favorite authors submit their amazing stories, only to get rejected.
Funny thing is, I tried submitting my own story to EqD, and the prereader didn't go past the description of the story, and even then the first complaint was basicly his own fault for reading too much into it.
Regardless, your work is awesome as always, and I will continue to follow it. And apologies for not commenting on the second posted story, just couldn't get the time yet.
116657
Yeah. But still. Previewer seems like havent read my story AT ALL and still said that it sux. To hell with them. By the way, they even contradicted themselves when i send a letter "Are you sure that i got right reply?". I sent it cuz these guys OBVIOUSLY havent red any of my chapters. Maybe they are just rusophobic or something... I remember a few guys who hated me just for my nick, being too stupid to understand a parody.
116833
Arcade, all i do is waiting for ur second chapter. When it'll come out i'll review it
116844 I think you replied to the wrong person, Arcade is just above me.
116845
Lol, ure right :)
116687
Arcade, all i do is waiting for ur second chapter. When it'll come out i'll review it
I totally agree that EQD pre-readers can be harsh with their response and many times I've heard about them 'losing' the chapters over there (though that might by explained by the amount of mail they receive)
And let me tell you, it's bucking hard to get anything there on the fiction side!
Fanthrose, a really great author of HiE, didn't get his story of 85,000 views up there and in the message they just claimed they aren't currently taking HiE stories. Begs to question if it was even read...
So I'm happy that you haven't taken it hard even if they didn't approve yours. Remember that many good fictions that are here aren't in there.
117033
Well, EqD is a total mess now with troll pre-readers who saying that story is crap w/o even reading this. So, yeah. Buck EqD
My second chapter has been released Mr. Stalin! Feel free to review if you wish!
Well Mr. Stalin, I have released three chapters for The Nostalgia Critic, Linkara, and Angry Joe Power Hour! and I was wondering if you could do either a Stalinview or art for it. I'm fine with either one.
137288
I'll see what i can do
Oh, cool, I'm in the queue. I'm waiting your review with expectation
Huh. By the way, the story I would like you to review is that one. It seems long, but really, it's very short, you'l see.
Oh, and just in case: it's NOT a shipping story. For some reason, some people believes that it is, because on the first chapter I made a satire about shipping (for, like, two paragraphs). So, the story follows your rules, I think.
See ya...