Flutterbat's Wicked Sick Harem

The month of love is a month to love!

For those of you that are hooked up, congratu-pony-lations.

For those that are not, join me as I cry bitterly the tears of solitude...and laugh at love...again.

I made this absurdist one-shot for today (that actually took about a month to produce). So grab your chocolate for singles and strap in for some good ol' fashioned comfort fiction.

For the curious, Flutterbat's Harem was NOT originally a full fimfic but was instead a quick jot of writespam that I threw up after spending way too much time on 1d4chan. I've posted the original thing below, which you may either laugh at or burn with fire as desired (not unlike the real thing).

I released a holiday one-shot on Christmas Eve for those that are blind to the other-fics-by-author section. If you like Chrylight then you should probably go read it. Socks. Love. Go read.

Still here? That's my pony.

I'm producing another holiday one-shot for Easter. I've been wanting to do another genderswapped fic for a while because I love that AU as much as I love Boston crème donuts (which I don't often eat – keeping my figure intact). But I guess I'm getting my chance to do another one of those fics now. I'll probably get to write the bulk of it either in February or March along with the retelling of Queen No More if I can knife that in.

As a bonus for you, yes you the few and the proud that actually read this entire blog post all the way through, I present you this bit of worthless writespam. Without further ado, the only reason anypony ever actually clicked to read this blog entry...

Flutterbat's Harem
by BlackWater (Sadly.)

Categories and Characters
Everything and everypony. Or not. Whatever. I don't care because this ain't a real fic. It's writespam. Know the difference. It. Will. Save. Your. Life.

Rating
Writespam, which is to say that it's rated “Soul-Crushingly Awful.” Oh, and probably T for Teen. No M here because blog posts have to be SFW. (I even censored the naughty words for you.)

The One and Only Non-Chapter

Fluttershy was no longer Fluttershy. She was a bat and she loved it. Or, more precisely, she was a bat-pony. It was what she was always destined to be. Celestia made a terrible mistake when she threw the poor girl's soul into a pegasus body at birth. Or conception. Nopony cared about those kind of details except Twilight Sparkle, who was now an alicorn and thus had no place to complain about somepony else having their body drastically altered.
Speaking of getting bodily alterations, Flutterbat got more than radar hearing and bat-like wings as part of her destiny-fulfillment. She was also packed to the tips of her shy little hooves with robust virility. If you don't know what that words means then please don't look it up. I like my job and this shindig doesn't need any more promotions flying around.
Even now, in Flutterbat's cottage, changes had taken place. The home had been turned into a dark hut that was terribly foreboding and the regular pony bed had been replaced with a wicked-looking rusted iron perch from whence the yellow bat-pony hung whenever she very well pleased. Why? Because anything remotely “vampirish” had to be dark, foreboding, and a thousand other cliché adjectives. It was the rule. The dumb inescapable rule.
There should be mention of how it came to be that Flutterbat established herself as supreme ruler of all of Ponyville, married forty mares all at once, and bore a half-hundred heirs through them. But let's not talk crazy. Somepony else is going to end up doing that [CENSORED] anyways, so kindly allow me to leave it out. Suffice it to say that Flutterbat was basically a princess. Or prince. It all got rather confusing when the foals started coming along.
First, Twilight gave birth to a pale green bat-pony. Don't ask about how that hue happened when it was yellow and purple ponies for parents. I'm sure Celestia was [CENSORED] around with the color wheel. Next, Rainbow Dash gave birth to one male with an inverted rainbow mane. Looked like a cheap-[CENSORED] Paint recolor. Applejack was third with a pink female. I'd swear it was a miniature Pinkie Pie, which gives me nightmares about whether or not it is, in fact, Pinkie Pie somehow cloned and reborn through one too many breaks of the fourth wall.
Three additional foals came about. One happened through Rarity. She was the smallest and really of no account. Seriously, I won't even bother with describing the colors on that one. Pinkie Pie gave birth to twins. They were both black alicorns with gold manes. Go figure.
Each member of Flutterbat's harem was required to spend so much time with the dark vampire overpony. It was up to debate whether that rule was for Flutterbat's amusement or for reaching the goal of repopulating Equestria with bat-ponies produced from said harem. Probably both.
Twilight was head over heels for Flutterbat, Applejack always looked nervous about it, Rarity was indifferent, and Pinkie Pie went to the cottage five times a day to convince her wife/husband/whatever to get out and smile more. Flutterbat did indeed smile but she was very conscientious of the fangs. Rainbow Dash was actually proud of the whole married-into-a-harem thing. She was also, strangely, the most motherly of the primary five of the group. For the second time, go figure.
I write this troubled entry in Flutterbat's dim-lit lair as I take care of the little mons- I mean angelic foals. Yes, I was fortunate enough to obtain (read forced into) the job of playing nanny to the blessed offspring of our beloved bat-pony goddess. I suppose it was because the mares were all too busy being pregnant and then pregnant again and I was the most feminine male around. Horribly sexist but then I was holding what was mistaken as a pansexual picket sign, so I'm probably the only one to blame here. If the bat-pony foal with the inverted rainbow mane would stop crying for three seconds then I should start kicking myself for my own lack of foresight. I was supposed to be holding a peace-not-war sign for Romaneia. How was I supposed to know that the paint went on lighter than the label said? (And the fact that I screwed the sign handle on sideways pretty much cements my total incompetency at life.)
When I'm older, I swear I will look back on this and wonder whether it was the cider or the punch that got spiked. But I'll probably be too busy with taking care of moody teenage bat-ponies to care. Now where's that blasted baby bottle?

With love and tired hooves,
BlackWater