Welcome Aboard the Carousel of Shit · 4:47am Feb 10th, 2014
So, if you've been following my blogs lately, you've known I got kicked out of my family's house, had to go to a homeless shelter for around two months, had my truck break down after a serious winter storm and got stuck at my parent's house, got kicked out of the aforementioned shelter and cannot return there until mid December of this year, and luckily managed to convince my parents to let me stay at their place.
Well, during this whole time I've had bad luck trying to get a job. I got a few call-backs, and even fewer interviews, and none of them panned out. Simultaneously, I've been fighting depression, nonexistent self-esteem/respect, and only one real person I could look to for support (who was not who I would have expected or initially preferred it to be). I've had my hours scaled back at work, so I'm getting barely enough to pay the bills, setting aside a tiny sum for me every paycheck (~$5-$10).
It had seemed, though, that I was in a better situation. I had a place I could rest my head and take a shower, and get a meal. Unfortunately, once again, that's going to change. My family has decided it wants me out by the end of the month. Meanwhile I'm stuck here still grasping at straws at getting a fulltime job or a second job to supplement my current part time one. I've no one to crash with in my area, as all my friends are either helping other people, dealing with problems of their own, or living with their parents themselves. I can't go back to the shelter I was staying at before, and will have to look to Dallas, which is further away than where the last one was. Meanwhile, I'm getting less money now than I was, I've need new glasses, I've got some stuff going on with my body that I really would like to have checked out by a doctor, and have been constantly sick to varying degrees for the past three or so weeks.
On top of this all, my family's instigating trouble and putting more and more stress on me. My step-grandmother, who has always spoken to me in a snotty, disrespectful tone, rarely says please and thank you, and often says things that are incredibly hurtful, has decided that today is the day that, (as if she ever respected me to begin with) "because you don't respect me, I won't respect you." Basically, meaning, she's going to make the remaining few weeks (if they don't "move up" the kickout date as they are wont to do) an absolute living hell for me.
In short, life can suck and it likes to pile everything on me at once. So yeah, if I disappear for a while, or what not, then I'm likely out on the streets in my truck trying desperately to keep warm or in a homeless shelter in the heart of Dallas, Texas. Ah well, I guess a change of scenery wouldn't be too bad.
Dude, I'm really sorry to hear about everything you're going through.
I know it's hollow, but I wish you the absolute best and hope you catch a break soon. I wish I could help. If you were in my area... Dammit, why is Texas so far away?
1818371
Thanks. I'm glad that there are people who can sympathize with my situation.
Also, honestly if I lived closer to some of my friends I probably wouldn't be in this situation, so I know what you mean. It's just rather nice that someone I really don't speak to very often would be willing to help.
1818389
You aren't alone, dude. You'll get through this. Again, I know those words are empty and hollow, but you need to repeat them until you believe them. At least... that's what I would do. I have been through some stuff myself, though I won't lie and say I know what it's like to be in your shoes.
Do you have a PayPal?
1818430
I do, but it's not a lump sum of money I need. What I need is a second job. Thank you so much for the offer though.
Aw, that's awful
If I could do anything, I would, but unless you save up money for a ticket to Hawaii...
if you actually do, which you won't, my dad could probably give you a job, assuming you don't mind cleaning vacation rentals. But rent here is higher than Snoop Lion, so...
1818483
Dude, I'd take fucking anything not too degrading for a living wage.
1818440
You're welcome. Good luck.
Have this:
4.bp.blogspot.com/-Et_yw3xo9MY/T9EW4Z_OigI/AAAAAAAAC0w/d7azQzNA1WU/s400/cat-hugs-stuffed-animal-gif.gif
1818389 Not only do I sympathize, I empathize. I was homeless for a year and a half. I know all to well what living in shelters and sleeping on the streets is like. You will be in my prayers. If you were where I lived, I would offer you food and showers and the like, but barring that, you most definitely have my support.
1818749
Thank you.
Man a year and a half? I couldn't imagine that. I would go crazy.
1818769 It just about did drive me nuts.
Honestly, I think that is why a lot of homeless people are crazy. Being on the streets is no joke, and is very straining on your body and mind. It's no wonder that people that have been homeless for years are a little screwy. I would be too, if I had to deal with everything that homelessness entails for that long.
The best advice I can give you to survive out there, is to find people that you are safe and comfortable with. Never travel alone if you can help it. And never, ever sleep alone if you can help it.
Just one thiing: don't give up. Never give up. No matter what happens, no matter how shitty life gets, you have to keep going. Life will get better if you keep trying. I know it's easy to lay down your head and go to sleep, but don't give in to that urge.
You can do it. Even though I don't know you, I believe in you. But I really don't need to know you to believe in you, do I?
Some fucked up shit, bro. We may be the internet, but we care for those around us. If there is anything we can do at all, anything, just let us know, be it in a charity fund, a paypal account, a home to stay in, anything. I live on the east coast, so I can't be much help physically, so all I can do right now is pray. I wish you the best, Eric.
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The truth of the matter is that I can't thank you enough for at least praying for me and putting me in your thoughts. It's nice knowing I'm not entirely alone in this ordeal, even if it may feel that way some times.
1819536
Exactly. The silly thing is, when I respect her, she doesn't respect me. When I'm nice to her, she still uses that tone. If I want to tell her what the problem is and try to work this out like adults, she gets snappy and angry at me and I get in trouble.
It's stupid and I'm done with it.