I'm Terrible · 9:21am Jan 4th, 2014
You ever been doing or thinking about something, then took a step back, looked at what it was, and thought "wow, that's really messed up. I'm a terrible person..."?
I just did that.
Occasionally I'll get an idea for a fic when I see a picture or something, and to see if I think it's worth writing or seriously thinking about I'll write out the first thousand words or so to get a feel for it. Well this time, when I stepped back, I was writing a god damn Twidash rape fic. I took a step back, read it over, and promptly hated myself. I really feel awful about this. And what's worse? I'm still writing it, and having a god damn blast doing it too. I've never written anything cloppy before (I've started a clop fic or two, but never gotten very far in it) so this is all new to me. Honestly it's been a fun experiment, and I'm going to finish it after finishing and posting this blog. Probably never gonna post it, and to cleanse my mind afterwards I'm gonna write a non-rape version of it (already know how it's gonna work) and then go to bed and try to forget what my mind came up with.
I'm downright disturbed that I'd write anything like that. I know it's out there and people like it and all that, and - as long as those people don't do it in real life - I don't really care, whatever floats your boat, but I never enjoyed anything like that or ever really thought about it. And yet, here I am, writing one. I feel terrible. Have I said that yet? I feel terrible about it. Which is why I really need to write a consensual version when I'm done, to pretend that was my original idea. Or something like that. Make me feel like less of a monster.
Anyway, aside form that bit of... news...? I am having a blast writing my contest entry. I'm gonna start the second chapter soon, and I finished editing the first chapter last night. I want to get at least three chapters done (not edited) before I start posting and I hope to have an update every 3-5 days or so. yeah, that's really how fast I'm writing that. I'm impressed with myself, honestly.
So there's that. I'm a sick bastard, my mind is so far in the gutter tonight it's come out on the other side, and I'm going back to writing that... thing I dreamed up.
Until next time,
Kodeake out
Hey what you think it's best, you're not a terrible person.
A twidash rape fic? You're not a terrible person, you're a god damn psychopath!
Okay, seriously, i don't have anything against the idea. If you enjoy writing it, just continue and, if it's actually good, then post it! (I think that's the logic of any fic ever) Good luck!
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To be honest I was considering posting it. It's not done yet, but I'm honestly having a lot of fun writing it. Really the blog was a bit of an overreaction on my part, but I was kinda in shock about it; I'm not normally dirty minded at all, so coming up with that and then writing it was quite a surprise for me. Honestly, I'm gonna send it to my editor, see what he thinks, and if he actually approves I may post it on the site. Of course, it will also include the consensual version for those that prefer their clop rape-free, and because then I can claim I'm not going to pony hell.