Minor Edit to the Chapter - At the Party · 1:15am May 8th, 2012
Wow, okay this was goofy. Not sure exactly how this happened, but it seems an entire scene got left out. It wasn't huge and the story, thankfully, flowed fine without it, but it's still a tad embarrassing. The chapter has been updated with the missing scene, which takes place between when Rarity and Fluttershy left the party and when Thunderlane approached Applejack outside.
I'm also posting it here for anyone who just wants to read the missing scene without more clicking.
***
Thunderlane was perched at the edge of a balcony overlooking the main room of the town hall. He had been keeping a watchful eye over a certain party-goer the entire evening. He had assumed that staying out of the way would have kept him from being interrupted, but that was simply not the case.
“Hey little bro, are you still ogling that same mare?” The cheerful white pegasus asked as she landed on the balcony next to the black coated stallion.
Thunderlane recognized that voice. There was only one mare that addressed him that way. “Blossomforth, how many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?” he continued his vigilant watch over that same mare, not even turning to acknowledge Blossmforth’s arrival.
The pegasus mare giggled. “You don’t have to tell me at all silly.” Her tone was as cheerful as ever.
Thunderlane sighed, “Well I’m not your brother and I happen to be bigger than you. That makes you wrong on both counts.” He remarked in a snide fashion without breaking his gaze.
“I see you want to avoid answering my question.” Blossomforth retorted as a sly grin encroached on her lips.
The stallion groaned, “Yes I’m still watching her.” Why did she have to bother him about this? Sure he had casually mentioned that he had a slight crush on a certain mare a few dozen times, but that didn’t make it any of her business.
“I’m glad you are finally willing to admit that you are a perverted stalker.” The playful mare quipped as her grin continued to encompass a larger portion of her visage.
Thunderlane broke his gaze to give his teasing friend a very nonplussed expression. “I am not.” He retorted. “I just like her, that’s all.”
“Then go talk to her.” Blossomforth replied.
A faint blush appeared across the stallion’s face. “What if she says no?” His tone was filled with doubt.
“What if she says yes?” Blossomforth countered.
“You’re not gonna let this go are?”
“Look, now she’s leaving!” Blossomforth snapped as she pointed a hoof towards the mare in question. “This is your last chance before I buck you out the door after her.” Her eyes narrowed a bit as her grin eerily vanished. The result was the most serious expression Thunderlane had ever seen on his friend’s face.
“Alright, I’m going.” Thunderlane replied hastily. He quickly turned and took flight after the object of his affections.
Blossomforth smiled once more at the sight of her ‘little brother’ finally taking action. Stallions can be so stubborn sometimes. I wonder where he’d be without me to buck him into action now and then? Blossomforth wondered.
I like it.
“Look now she’s leaving.”
Maybe I'm crazy, but shouldn't there be a comma in there somewhere? And if she's snapping, shouldn't it end with an exclamation point?
Otherwise, nifty. Enjoying the story and looking forward to more chapters.
103414 Probably, this scene actually didn't get looked at by my editor as it wasn't in any version he had seen. I'll fix that when I get home today.