Cupcakes/The Cupcake Chronicles review · 4:13am Dec 21st, 2013
I'm just gonna say it now: I love Cupcakes. I own a Cupcakes T-shirt for goodness sakes. So, you know that I like Cupcakes, yeah? I put it in my Cheerilee's Garden review that it's a guilty pleasure, but the ultimate question is why? Why would I like a story where Pinkie Pie kills Rainbow Dash in a highly violent way? I mean, I've read all of the Cupcakes stories. All of them. And I can tell you that none of them are truly good, even the one that I wrote
... Especially the one that I wrote. Never read it.
Well, let's look at it. Let's deconstruct the story.
#1. The story.
Pinkie Pie kills Rainbow Dash to bake her into Cupcakes. It's very violent.
#2. The cha--
Nah, I'm just kidding. There's a little more to it than that, though only a little. Truth is, most of what can be taken from the Cupcakes story comes from the subtext as opposed to what is seen at face value. Sergeant Sprinkles might disagree with me and say that there is no subtext, but I'd tell the author that he's wrong.
In a sense. Look, I've had readers tell me that I'm wrong about the characters that I wrote. Like "well, here's what this character did and why."
"No, you're wrong. Here's what she did and why."
Let me tell you, it irks the author to no end and it makes you look stupid. But anyway, the thing is is that there is a little room for story analysis in Cupcakes. Sergeant Sprinkles does leave a few lines here and there that does seem to hint that something more is going on than what is originally apparent. Most famously "Your number came up and, well, I don't make the rules."
Pinkie doesn't make the rules? Well then who the heck does make the rules? What rules? What numbers? What does any of that even mean? Sure some of those questions might have some obvious answers, but maybe not. It does add an air of mystery to the whole thing if you want to over-analyze it like I'm doing. Pinkie saying "I don't make the rules." could mean one of a hundred and eighty seven different things, and I know that spinoff authors have looked at all of them (see comment above about having read all Cupcakes stories). Adding a bit like that was a good choice, because it elevated the story ever so slightly by implying something a little deeper than just Pinkie violently murdering Rainbow Dash. I mean, let's not mince words: the story is about Pinkie Pie murdering Rainbow Dash, don't get me wrong on that part, but there's a little more to it that's implied that weirdos like me can look at and go "hmm... maybe there's something more here."
I can tell you that that's a draw for me personally: the fact that there seems to be a little bit more going on with what Pinkie is doing than what is shown or even told. Firstly, the basic idea of what Pinkie Pie is doing brings up some questions.
1. Why is she doing it?
2. Why is she doing it in that violent a way?
3. Why is it so ritualistic?
Now there are some important things that we have to realize about the Pinkie Pie of the show to make sense of a few of these questions. The biggest one is that Pinkie Pie isn't just random for the sake of it. Every single thing that she does, every single action, every single thing that she says, makes sense to her. When other ponies do things that she sees as illogical she calls them out on it and is confused as to why they would act or think that way. She isn't random for the sake of it. That kind of logic applies here. Pinkie Pie isn't ritualistically torturing these ponies for the purpose of putting their flesh into cupcakes for the heck of it, her motives make sense to her, otherwise she would never do it.
Now, I'll get more into that in the character section, but you get what I'm saying. In terms of the plot, my point is is that there is a very clear reason for why this is all happening in Pinkie Pie's mind, but we as the readers are never privy to that information, thus adding to the horror. But, Sargent Sprinkles does well by still showing us that on Pinkie's end there is a reason for everything; a reason that makes sense to her. Otherwise she's just doing this for the heck of it, which goes against her character and at the same time detracts from the relative realism of her motivations.
Yes, I said relative. Don't misunderstand me. I'm going to get to the dumb stuff soon.
That's not to say that the story isn't mostly gore because it is. This story is not for the faint of heart. Pinkie Pie does everything to Rainbow Dash under the moon, and the author in no way holds back on the descriptions. It is not for the faint of heart. Gore hounds will either enjoy it or find it weak depending on what kind of gore hound they are, but there is no denying that this story was the pioneer of the MLP grimdark.
Now as for the dumb stuff, there is one big element that is unavoidably stupid: Pinkie Pie is doing everything in the basement of Sugarcube Corner?
What?!
See I'd believe that if Pinkie Pie was the sole owner and operator of Sugarcube Corner (a la Rarity and Carousel Boutique) but she's just living and working there. She doesn't own the place. The Cakes do. You're telling me that the Cakes never once went down to check on their stock? Or went to investigate the smell of rotting flesh that doubtlessly wafted up from the basement? Heck let's also ignore the fact that there's no way that the Cakes are gone enough that Pinkie can kill as often as she does as ritualistically and lengthily as she does without the Cakes coming home and hearing the screams of agony coming from the basement. It's not soundproofed. It has no reason to be. I mean, can you imagine if they did?
Mr. Cake: Honey Bun, are those screams of agony and cries for help coming from our basement?
Mrs. Cake: You know, I think they are. What do you think Pinkie is doing down there?
Victim: Oh Celestia, Pinkie stop it! Please don't cut off my cutie marks! Please stop it!
Pinkie Aw come on, silly, I need the special ingredients for my cupcakes! We can't go back now.
Victim: Pinkie I promise I won't tell anypony if you just let me go. Please just stop. It really h-hurts.
Pinkie: We can't turn back now, silly. I can't stop my responsibilities. I need the ingredients for the cupcakes. We have to keep going.
Loud screams of pure agony echo throughout Sugarcube Corner and Mr. and Mrs. Cake exchange a glance.
Mr. Cake: You know we agreed to never ask where Pinkie was concerned. We learned our lesson after the flower pot incident.
Mrs. Cake: Y-yes. I'm sure Pinkie isn't getting into too much trouble. Let's just leave her be.
You're trying to sell it to me that she was never caught by the Cakes? You could argue Pinkie Sense, but there are just too many unknown variables. Sugarcube Corner is both the home and livelihood of the Cakes. There is no way that they are gone enough for Pinkie to do this with any frequency. Plus the Cakes would use the basement for storage, right? Well, where are all of the ingredients? They'd get tainted by the constant decay in the basement, right?
Also let's touch on the fact that ponies can't digest meat as far as I'm aware. Let's say that they can. They'd be able to taste it in the cupcakes. Eat a piece of meat and eat a cupcake; they taste pretty darned different, don't they? Combining the two would taste awful, wouldn't it, especially for ponies that don't eat meat? Pinkie would get caught the second she tried to pull something like this.
#2. The characters.
The characters are kind of bland on the whole. I've already discussed Pinkie Pie and her actions, but they're worth reiterating. Her actions make sense to her. Otherwise she would never do them. As for Rainbow Dash, she doesn't really have much of a character other than "victim." She screams and she cries and she begs for mercy, but that's really it. You could have replaced Rainbow Dash with literally any other character and not made a shred of difference, which does take away from the story a little bit. Yes, the Mane Six are all really close, but within that friendship some of them are closer than the others. Rarity and Fluttershy are a good example. Well, Pinkie and Rainbow are close like that. Not as close as Rainbow and Applejack, but they're pretty close. There could have been some good character building moments with Rainbow, the Element of Loyalty, being betrayed by arguably her best friend for really no reason. Instead she screams the whole story.
Yawn.
Now, let's discuss one of the most important character aspects of Cupcakes. I'm going to show you two Cupcake images (bland ones so as to not make this blog post NSFW) and you're going to tell me which one is accurate. Ready?
Yes, there is a right answer, and there is a marked difference. One of them is right and the other one is wrong. Do you know which one?
If you said the first one, you're correct. If you said the second, well, then I'm afraid that you've missed the point entirely. Do you you want to know why? Well, this is the character section, so that is what I'm basing this off of. What makes one of them right and the other wrong?
It's the hair.
What do I mean by that? Well, in Party of One, Pinkie Pie's hair went all flat, and the fandom has dubbed flat haired, depressed, insane Pinkie Pie as Pinkamena. Fair enough, but Pinkamena should never have anything to do with Cupcakes and let me tell you why. What made Cupcakes creepy for a lot of people wasn't the fact that it was Pinkamena cutting up Rainbow Dash, but Pinkie Pie. She wasn't acting like a serial killer psychopath outside of her actions. I'm talking personality here. Pinkamena is depressed, she's creepy, she's detached from reality, she's the kind of pony that you look at and say "yeah, it would make sense if she turned serial killer." However, Cupcakes didn't feature Pinkamena. It featured Pinkie Pie. Bubbly, happy-go-lucky, random, perpetually smiling Pinkie Pie, and that's what made it disturbing for a lot of people. We had a difficult time disassociating the Pinkie Pie we knew and loved from the show with this mass murderer capable of doing horrible things. We have an easier time seeing Pinkamena doing it, but that dilutes the effectiveness of it. It's far creepier if Pinkie Pie is the one cutting Rainbow Dash up.
Well, considering that those are the only two characters, we can move on.
#3: Mechanics.
One of the things that I love about Cupcakes is the atmosphere of the fic. The setup of the basement and Pinkie's costume is so friggin' awesome that it contributes a lot to Cupcakes being a guilty pleasure. I've got great respect for people who can recreate the outfit.
As for the spelling, grammar, etc, it's pretty famous for being pretty weak, so I can't give it a pass there. It is pretty weak. It has said tag issues, the description is pretty bland in the beginning, and it starts off pretty slow. It more than makes up for that later, though. Dunno. Not much more to say about it.
#4: impact.
There are a few fandom changing things that have happened since the show began: Derpy, My Little Dashie, and Cupcakes. Sure there are a few more things, but I see those as the big three, particularly Derpy and Cupcakes. Lauren Faust gets asked in interviews if she's read it (she says no and that she never will. I can't blame her, really) and almost every Brony has heard of it in some fashion. People cosplay as Cupcakes Pinkie Pie, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of pieces of Cupcakes fanart, Cupcakes songs, Cupcakes videos, Cupcakes spin-offs...
Why the heck are people so fixated on this 6500 word story where Pinkie Pie brutally murders Rainbow Dash?!
Well, I'll try to explain as somebody who didn't get into the fandom as early as a lot of people. I started watching a few episodes before the Cranky Doodle Donkey one.
So, why are people fixated on it? Well, Cupcakes was the first indication of what ponies could do to each other. Bronies had never seen anything like it. If Cupcakes was released today then people wouldn't be so shocked by it and it certainly wouldn't have sent the ripples that it did. Thing is, and I'm just going to say it, we're never going to have another Cupcakes. The shock has worn off. I think that the fandom is dull to the idea that ponies can violently murder each other. Cupcakes was not only the pioneer of the idea that ponies could be violent towards each other, but the concept was intriguing, Pinkie was relatively in character, and it was decently well put together. It had an actual story behind it, for what it was. If it was just Pinkie killing Rainbow Dash it wouldn't have made such a big splash, even having come out as early as it did, but it was things like the cutie mark dress, the banner that said "life is a party" and the way that Pinkie was just so happy the whole time. It resonated with people because it felt, for what it was... real. They could visualize it far better than they thought.
As I said, we're probably not getting another Cupcakes or Cheerilee's Garden or Rainbow Factory or even Sweet Apple Massacre. We're not shocked by it, and that's what got those stories attention. Pinkie Pie is butchering live ponies and baking them into cupcakes?! Cheerilee tortured and murdered her entire class of children?! Rainbows are made out of pegasi children?! Big Mac killed the Cutie Mark Crusaders?! These things don't shock us anymore. You give me a time machine and I'll add a fifth major grimdark to the collection. One that gets readings and songs and fan art and discussions and controversy. It's not going to happen any time soon. We'd need a majorly creative premise.
Overall, I like Cupcakes. It is a flawed story, to be sure. A very flawed story, but, and I know this is a weird thing to say, it has a kind of charm to it.
Final Score: 8/10
The Cupcake Chronicles.
As I said before a few times, Cupcakes got dozens upon dozens of spin-offs, sequels, and alternate endings, and this is one of them. This one is likely the most famous, and extensive, and I'm here to review it. I've read it a few times (including for the purposes of this review) and what do I think about it?
It... had... so much promise.
#1: The story.
Ug. It started out so well. Relatively speaking. So Pinkie Pie is about to harvest Rainbow Dash's organs to use in her cupcakes, but Applejack bursts in at the last second. Apple Ex Machina, if you will. Basically Rainbow Dash promised to come over for some pie, but when she didn't Applejack came looking for her, tracked her to Sugarcube Corner, hears the screams that Mr. and Mrs. Cake always ignore and runs down just in time to stop Pinkie, but not in time to stop her from cutting off Dash's wings and cutie marks. Pinkie goes to attack Applejack, but Applejack bucks her. Pinkie flies back and hits a table, breaking her neck and killing her instantly. AJ rushes Dash to the hospital where they save her cutie marks, but not her wings. The story is about Dash's emotional recovery.
Right off the bat the story shows its promise by focusing about the characters and their emotions. How would Dash react to never being able to fly again? MilesPrower06 attempts to answer that, and starts off really strong. She's devastated, as I think that she would be. Flying is her life; it's what she's centered everything around. The author makes an interesting observation that the first thing that Pinkie did to Dash was take away from her what made Dash Dash. That is, her wings and cutie marks. I thought that was a great point and was a really powerful bit that led to some good character development.
So Rainbow Dash tries to recover at Sweet Apple Acres under the watchful eye of Applejack, and under Scootaloo's suggestion she takes to swimming. Not a bad choice either on the part of the author. So as Rainbow recovers, the town does too. They try to get over what they dub "The Case of the Cupcake Kidnappings" at the hooves of Pinkie Pie, The Cupcake Killer.
Okay... that's kind of...
Ignoring the fact that "The Case of the Cupcake Kidnappings" sounds like something out of Scooby Doo or some 5th grade detective novel, it's revealed in the story that the townsponies don't know that Pinkie Pie kidnapped ponies to bake them into cupcakes. If they didn't know that then there's no reason for them to say anything about cupcakes when they're talking about her.
Then MilesPrower06 breaks the story forever. He takes it away from what it should have been and utterly ruins it. See, the story is divided up into segments. The end of the first segment is Rainbow Dash winning the Running of the Leaves, symbolizing how far she's recovered physically and emotionally. If you ask me, the story should have ended there. If he had to extend it, the second segment is about Rainbow Dash setting up a memorial for the victims and trying to cope with what Pinkie did to her versus the Pinkie that she remembered. It ends with her taking care of Gummy and talking to Pinkie at her grave at the rock farm. Okay, that's not bad either. Good character, it showcases how she's coping as the Element of Loyalty with a strong relationship to Pinkie...
Then the AppleDash.
....
...
Not just any AppleDash, but AppleDash with graphic sex scenes.
...
...
What does that have to do with Dash's emotional recovery?! This story is about how Dash emotionally recovers from being half butchered by Pinkie Pie, not how she bangs Applejack, and we certainly don't need graphic descriptions of it. This isn't that type of story. Especially since it starts taking over the story completely when it really shouldn't. Look, if he wanted to write an AppleDash sex fic, fine. More power to him. But this was not the place to do that. It's jarring. I get that Rainbow Dash and Applejack's relationship really strengthened after Applejack saved Rainbow's life, but the story also states that Applejack just happened to be in love with Rainbow before the events of Cupcakes.
Look, the whole focal point of this story should be on Rainbow Dash's emotional recovery, and that's why it should have stopped at her visiting Pinkie's grave. Having the AppleDash bits with the graphic sex is just indulgent and unnecessary.
Unfortunately it gets a lot worse.
So Luna gives Rainbow Pinkie Pie's journal of the killings and we get a few fairly decent, but slightly flawed, chapters detailing her descent into madness and her methods. Okay, fair enough. It worked out. However, then things started getting into the realm of the supernatural. As in, the spirit of Pinkie Pie's evil personality comes back to kill Rainbow Dash.
Once again this begs the question of why this is necessary. This looks like cheap drama when the story should be above that. It was at its strongest when it was about just Rainbow's emotional recovery. I'd be giving the story high marks if it was just the first two parts. Then Rainbow destroys Pinkie's diary like it's a horcrux and to top off the stupid cake, the good side of Pinkie gives Rainbow Dash her wings back with pink tipped primaries. Rainbow Dash gets into the Wonderbolts, and I've officially lost interest by that point. There are a few little utterly pointless sub-plots like Rainbow Dash's parents being worried about her, a homophobic store owner who is against the AppleDash pairing, and little things like that. All in a story that should just have been about Rainbow Dash's emotional recovery.
To sum it up, The Cupcake Chronicles starts off exactly how it should, then goes on way too long and dissolves into cheap drama for the sake of it when it really has no reason to. It's unfortunate because it had such promise to begin with.
#2. Characters.
The story focuses on two main characters: Applejack and Rainbow Dash. They're mostly in character, which is a definite positive for the story. They do of course start a relationship for the sake of drama, but I can say that the author at least tried to set it up and didn't bring it completely out of the blue. Mostly.
Aside from all of that, they're still relatively in character, especially once Rainbow Dash starts to emotionally recover. She's still fiercely loyal to Pinkie Pie, even though Pinkie took her wings, as I think that the Rainbow Dash of the show would be. Rainbow finds out that Pinkie had split personality disorder, and for Rainbow Dash, that's all it took for her to see the Pinkie Pie that she knew as completely innocent. I think that is something pretty in character for her. She wouldn't want to remember Pinkie as a butcher. She would want to remember Pinkie as the friend she went pranking with. She would look for a reason to exonerate Pinkie.
As for Applejack, her maternal side that is present in the show definitely comes across here too. She would take care of Rainbow Dash if this happened to her, so she's in character there. MilesPrower06 got most of that down. One thing that I would have liked to have seen touched on, though, was more about Applejack and Pinkie. Sure there was some, but in this story Applejack literally kills Pinkie Pie and her emotions about that are never touched upon. I mean, even if Pinkie Pie was a serial killer who was murdering her best friend, she still killed her. That would trigger some serious emotions. Emotions that we never get to see. Big missed opportunity there. The rest of the characters aren't really present all that much. Luna only shows up every now and again to play Exposition Fairy and nothing more. Aside from the main two, everybody else is just kind of there when they're needed and that's all.
#3. Mechanics.
Here is where the story really falls apart. This needs an editor really badly. Show vs tell issues during dialogue, said tags galore, typos, that kind of thing. Mechanical errors with the frequency that the story has really break the flow quite a lot. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that mechanically speaking, The Cupcake Chronicles is worse than Cupcakes. Cupcakes had far better flow. They do suffer from the same said tag issues, but Cupcakes less so.
Overall, The Cupcake Chronicles is a pretty mediocre affair, but still one of the better Cupcake spinoffs, showcasing that it really is impossible to make a good Cupcakes story. Or at least, I have yet to read a truly good one. It would have been above average if he had just left it at the first two parts as opposed to just shoving more and more drama in there for the sake of it. The story should have been about Rainbow's emotional recovery. You know, like it was in the first two segments. It's no coincidence that those were the best two.
Final Score: 4.5/10
So there you go. Requests for future reviews? I was thinking maybe Rainbow Factory next. Any other ideas?
Yeah, do Rainbow Factory next. I found this enlightening. Also, do you think that the Cakes might have been in on it? You know, the ones who make the rules?
1630095 It's an explanation.
First picture is broken for me, is it working for anyone else?
1630100
It was the first thing to pop in my head when you were talking about it It was either that, or aliens.
GASP! Or were the Cakes replaced by aliens so they could get their grubby little appendages on meat cupcakes?! Because no one in the multiverse makes cupcakes like Pinkie....
1630114 Now try it.
I feel I should point out that the original Cupcakes story was written and published BEFORE Party of One ever aired(Which is a scary fact on its own), so while your point about it being creepier that it wasn't Pinkamena doing these things is still valid, there's a good chance that Sprinkles might have gone with straight haired Pinkie for the story had it been written after.
1630126 It is working now... and that image is terrifying. Personally I find no entertainment in Cupcake style stories, but this review gave me a bit of a view into why some people would enjoy the story. Reading the honest opinions of why people liked stories I didn't and disliked stories I love is something I like far more then I feel I should, I guess I am just weird like that. After all, between the first section of the Cupcake Chronicles, and its side stories that story managed to make its may into my top ten stories on the site.
1630143 Oh I'm fully aware of that, and I'm glad of it. If he had gone with Pinkamena, it wouldn't have been as good.
1630199 my theory behind the graphic appledash is this. the rush of hormones you feel after orgasm is extremely good for your emotional, psychological, and physical health. basically, sex is good for you, it heals you, and above all, its a hell of a good stress relief. admittedly, it might be better if the graphic isnt as, well, graphic?maybe it would have been better if the clop was implied. i dont know. i personally havent read the cupcake chronicles, i might soon though, but there is something i do agree with. getting her wings back? i call happy ending bullshit. the evil spirit coming back? well, the mane six defeated all those other things, why not have ghosts as a possible canon? and what chewed pencil said, well what if the cakes were in on it?
I couldn't get past the grammar and spelling errors to get to the Nope factor.
1630256 Not in this context. Here is is just used to add drama for the sake of it. It makes no sense.
1630269 oh. well its still true that sex is healthy.
It is kind of like The Tale Of Scrotie McBoogerballs.
1630273 Hilarious episode. Love South Park.
1630240
That fic tanked for me, and I stopped reading it. It was a little dense and obtuse, but that didn't really scare me away. The actual events in the story just stopped being believable when Discord came in. And, funnily enough (smart alecks) it wasn't Discord's actions that were unbelievable. How's it going now?
Please Rainbow Factory!
I love that fic so much, one of my favorites if not my favorite. I hope it gets a good mark so I know I am not the only one who loves it so much.
You forgot to add Rocket to Insanity to the list of grimdarks.
1630642 Rocket to Insanity is a Cupcakes spinoff. It wouldn't exist without it, thus doesn't count.
1630645
Oh yeah. The role reversal was quite as blandly executed.
Cupcakes got me into the fandom, although probably only because I was first exposed to a grammatically corrected version of it. It's unpretentious, fast-paced, and blessedly actually has some laughs in it.
I think Rainbow Factory is one of the most overrated fics in the fandom. Yeah, there's a decent bit of psychological manipulation in that the students get screwed by their compassion for each other, but everything else is dull or narmy, especially Rainbow's big "NOW I'M EVIL FOR NO REASON!" speech, and the pointless intro which thumps us over the head with the fact the Rainbow Factory is evil instead of letting it surprise us or leaving us in suspense. There's no decent attempt at exploring why Cloudsdale is so stupidly fascist but I've seen fans ramble three times longer than I have over how it's supposed to be such a brilliant portrayal of that subject and such. Aurora Dawn lucked out that Woodentoaster liked it or it would have sunk without a bubble if it had to rely on its own merits.
1630740 Yeah, I'm not going to rave about how amazing RF is. It has its definite flaws.
You should definitely review Rainbow Factory, but I think it would be much better if you reviewed Pegasus Device along with it.
1639572 It's a Cupcakes spin-off. It's not very long.
1639614 Lol, I deleted that comment right before you replied because I realized you already addressed that in a previous comment.
Finally, someone who understands Pinkamina and Cupcake's Pinkie are not the same pony. The latter is much much more intriguing...