Artemis, opinions?

Heya readers, if you read this then thanks, and I just wanted to pose a simple question. What do you think of the story as short as it is so far.

Also I want to see who wants to guess where its heading

Comments

[burdenedsoul]

two things right from the start
1) fuck you for making it so short lol, the waiting for the next part is killing me
2) love it so far, really looking forward to more, it's... sort of an inspiration to help me finish my fic, helps me kind of take up some mental notes, then lose them as i read your stories, and help me fix some plot holes that i might have left in what i got so far

[gcsmith]

97109

Don't worry too much about plot holes, Its equestria, a Unicorn/alicorn did it :D

So where do u think the story will head?

[burdenedsoul]

97113 really it's too early for me to tell, i have some thoughts, but there's too many of them first off, and most of them dont fit well with the "artemis" character, so i'll have to wait for a few more parts to really have any kind of feel with where the story is gunna take me, WHICH I LOVE

[gcsmith]

97114

Hopefully you'll enjoy reading it, Ive come up with a really weird thing of where to go but not how to get there, lets see how Much I actually continue to write and see If I get there at all before I give up :D

[burdenedsoul]

97118 yeah i hate that, trying to fill in between major plot points, right now im kinda stuck at that point too, but once i can worm through it, i'll be pickin up pace, and getting parts 3 and 4 up

[Coffeecup]

I like it. again for the originality with the whole storytelling. I do feel the chapters could be longer... a LOT longer.at least twice as long and maybe thrice as long (It's not uncommon). Also. pacing.

It hasn't been that bad yet, but just keep that in mind. How would things logically happen if this was reality? I've read a few fics where the protagonist meets the mane 6 ->2 paragraphs later-> starts crying and pour out their lifestory of how HARD AND EMOTIONAL THEIR LIFE HAS BEEN WHAA!

1: We are men, we don't cry that easily.
2: We definitely don't cry that easily infront of people/ponies we only know on the surface (Even though we've seen the show, yes).
3: Why do we even need to cry to begin with? Don't try to force in some sort of emotional package if it doesn't fit the story. Crying/Emo-shiz does not equal depth. even though many would have you believe so.

Again, this is purely precautional advice, It's very good so far, just pace your story, keep an eye out for things that wouldn't fit in and you're golden. :)

[gcsmith]

97123

Don't worry, my guy isn't going to cry about hard life is, but i'm gonna give him a hard time, emotionally that is in equestria. Lets say he has a bit of district 9 incoming.

[gcsmith]

97119

I agree I got to link my story together, But luckily i know where I want to go next, ish. and I got a big bad villian in mind