• Member Since 7th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 13 minutes ago

DungeonMiner


Working on new stuff always, I'll be back before you know it.

More Blog Posts81

  • 367 weeks
    An Announcement

    Ladies and Gentlemen,

    Today is a special day. For years now, I have been working silently, crafting a tale that I have kept in the background for this entire time as I strung keystrokes together for this site.

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    4 comments · 1,168 views
  • 405 weeks
    Character Analysis: Rarity

    Ah, Rarity.

    The things I could say about her. You see, dear Rarity was what brought me to the fandom you see. It was summer of 2012, and there I sat in the living room, with a want of something to do, when there on the TV guide was "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic." Now, I had heard of some weirdos who actually liked this show, so I decided, "Eh, why not see what the deal is?"

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    1 comments · 715 views
  • 405 weeks
    NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    So...

    The latest Chapter of Marks of War seems to have disappeared.

    I'm going to have to rewrite a good chunk of stuff.

    This is so uncool...

    It'll be back...

    See you all later, I guess.

    Edit: Something weird is going on. I've double posted for some reason.

    0 comments · 527 views
  • 442 weeks
    The Season 5 Finale

    It was...okay...

    I mean, it started amazingly! The whole time travel/alt. universe thing was awesome. Yes, Wanderer D said that it didn't make sense because NNM would win every time, but since we saw Luna in the Discord universe, we can assume that someone found the Elements of Harmony, so it kinda does make sense.

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    2 comments · 564 views
  • 450 weeks
    Character Analysis: Princess Celestia

    Okay, okay, I know I said I do the Mane Six, but...well...the big problem with doing the mane six is that most people have a good hold on them. Pinkie sometimes gets the short end of the stick because she’s so hyperactive people skim over her, but that’s becoming less and less an issue as time goes on.

    Princess Celestia, however…

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    3 comments · 510 views
Nov
13th
2013

Um...Okay...Please Tell me I Didn't Commit this Sin · 8:49pm Nov 13th, 2013

Alright guys, another question from me to you.

As an author, I'm always on the look out for flaws in my own work. I mean, really, what's the point of writing something if no one wants to read it, right?

So when I saw a video titled "Understanding the Mary Sue" how could I not go check it out.

Go ahead and watch it, and then I'll get to my question.

Good stuff, right?

Well...this got me thinking...is...

Is Alan a Gary Stu? I've had several comments talk about how he always gets out of the situation he's in, and now...

Now I'm not so sure if that's because I'm biased towards my character (Gary), or because Alan has always had someone to back him up.

So...so did I just commit the greatest of writing sins?

Report DungeonMiner · 470 views ·
Comments ( 15 )

Not everything in your stories makes sense and you've got some strange character decisions from time to time. But none of them are Gary Stus. I've read your comments sections. Believe me, we'd let you know if that was the case.

To answer your first question. Maybe I lean towards yes but maybe I'm a bad judge.

But who gives a flying crap? It's a great story and I don't care and I don't think the other readers care either. I mean you have been featured, right?

Keep up the great work. :moustache::moustache::moustache:

I personally don't think so. From what I can remember of the first story (it's been awhile), he had quite a bit of help from everyone around him and he actually doesn't have that many abilities beyond a normal unicorn's. I have always viewed it as him being very clever and using tactics as well as muscle to win.

He's not a Gary Stu by definition but he does have strong tendencies for it. Honestly I drew the line for how he learned to speak "bitalian". I mean come on. He learned fluent Italian from assassins creed? His other skills at least had reasonable explanations.

Getting out of the situation a "hero" is in is the "why" of him being a hero. And as far as I Remember your story aren't tagged as "Dark", therefore the suffering and destruction that should be expected in a story for balancing a Gary Stu isn't present in your work.

I won't lie, indeed sometimes I can feel the Gary Stu roaring, hidden deep within Alan. Yet, it doesn't bother me so much. Your character is bothered and challenged along your story and even if he had been resurrected and is blessed by the god still follow the path toward a perfection he isn't.

Sincerely, I visualize your story as a big epic romance that began when you finally get off the track of the MLP season in the earlier chapters of aNSitCC.

By the way you said you're biased toward Alan, of course you are! He is your character and this is your story. Yet you built your character as a "potential-full" character that shows climaxes of power like Deus-Ex-Machina.

Sincerely, don’t worry about it, your character may sometimes appears as a Gary Stu but it isn’t really one, you created your story as a romance/comedy/adventure and this is what creates confusion. It isn’t an Odysseus with dark and twisted plot that creates destruction, death, etc… (even if some battles aNSitCC made me cry).

No Alan isn’t a Gary Stu, he is a growing character that progress, shows a lot of potential but even with the “perfection” he has been offered by the goddesses, Faust, etc… he still remains a character that has to deal with the Mane 6 and co. who works as a perfect balancing of your character.

Don’t worry and keep writing ;)

Romance/Comedy/Adventure is made to be fun to read.

I don't think Alan is Gary Stu. I will admit that after his ponyfication, and even before that, Alan did overcome practically every challange thrown at him, HOWEVER it didn't look like he wasn't putting an effort to it.

An example where he becomes all powerful would be his fight with Discord. First he loses his friends, then in a fit of rage he attacks the Spirit of Chaos, without much success here. Only after Twilight and the rest came to him, that's when he started winning the fight. So, it wasn't only him that defeated Discord in an efortless manner, he had to sweat, cry and bleed to achieve this victory, and if not for Mane 6 appearing on the scene, he would most likely lose.

As for your current story with pony Alan, up to now there wasn't really anything that actually could challange him on such level. I mean, they are sneaking around the Griffon/Changeling territory, no big foes or large enemy forces appearing for the time being.

All in all, I don't think Alan is Gary Stu. So you don't have to worry about it.:pinkiehappy:

You tread the line, if I'm not mistaken. He's a little too knowledgeable, with very little in the way of flaws, but he's not a Gary Stu. At least not yet. Over the course of your story he has gained a lot more power (in terms of the Shout, pony magic, etc.) but very little has been done to really balance it in comparison to the others in your world. Anyway, as of yet the story is excellent, so please keep writing :)

Hmm...
Where would I begin?
...
Well, maybe a bit. He's there, as in the challenges aren't too difficult for him, but that can be pretty easily changed. Just throw something horrible into the mix that might off his balance and perfection into doing something rash and un-thought through so we know that he has panicked emotions.

Example, you could have Twilight captured, after that the truth of her pregnancy shown to the world, then have her 'seemingly' killed (not really) and Alan losses his shit. BUT! Instead of doing Sombra and kicking everyone's ass, he panics and gets his ass kicked causing in the failure of the mission that now rely's on the other ponies to fix, showing that everything doesn't always rely on him only.

I do not believe Alan is a Gary Stu. However, you could stand to make it a little harder for him to overcome his obstacles, either inner or outer. I'm not saying to make it unnecessarily dark, just crank up the difficulty and it'll be all good.

Post-ponification, Alan is totally Gary Stu. Was somewhat disappointing, to be honest, but the story itself still worked for me. I don't really claim to understand WHY, just that I still enjoyed it. *shrug*

I started out reading NSitCC and have watched Alan grow as a character. He was not perfect when you started using him and he is far from perfect, at least in my opinion. Before he went to war he had read books about warfare while human. However the one problem I had was how he seemed to know Italian just from a video game:facehoof:, I can get wanting to learn because of the game but not from it. I foresee that when they fight at the end of this mission Alan will need help regardless of how strong he is, he also worries for his friends, wife, and blood brother. From what I've seen a Gary Stu/ Mary Sue they have no cares about anything but I can be wrong.

I'll say this:

While a character may be "perfect", he or she still has to have problems to solve. He cannot be omnipotent, but he or she is usually clever enough to deal with the problems that he or she has.

Take Bugs Bunny for example:
He has a lot of problems, whether it is through being shot at or through the operator service, but he has enough wit and cleverness to at least cope with the problem until it goes away.

Whether or not your character is a "Mary Sue" is up to your definition. If you think he needs to change, then change him. Otherwise, just keep on keeping on. No matter what the audience (including me) says, it's your decision that's final.

If you're simply looking for an answer by definition, then no. Alan has been challanged many times, and most of them were won because sompony else was there to help. Things happen outside his controle, and he has to deal with it as opposed to a snap of the metophorical fingers and problem solved. I could list references, but the other commenters have already pointed them out. In any case, I'm a little partial to the 'Superman' style character myself, powerful, but with equaly powerful foes.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.

I believe that Alan isn't in fact a mary sue. For the specific reason that though he does seem to get past problems rather easily, he does struggle to over come the problems he faces. A good character struggles and suffers.:pinkiecrazy: It sounds weird but is very true.

No Alan is not a Gary Stu. Does he get out of the situations? Yes, but it generally isn't some miraculous event that saves his flank. Also he does have his flaws. I doubt that a Gray Stu would have any.

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