New Universe Seven, Mankind Triumphant · 5:12am Nov 6th, 2013
Recently, I decided to yet again step into the horrifying world of the Conversion Bureau, this time, more Chatoyance, because I hate life, and I clearly hate humanity.
The truth is more morbid curiosity into the minds of people who glorify genocidal tyrants, because let's face it, Celestia in Chatoyance's stories is basically magical space Hitler. Her shriveled up right hoof stallion is named Stallion, whose right hoof is shriveled up.
Or something like that.
Anywho, the story is, at the very least, better than New Universe Three, which was basically Chatty saying:
"Man, you bros suck."
Why do you say that?
"Because you're bros."
I fail to see the connection.
"You bros are horrendously violent and oppressive, the world would be so much better if there were no bros."
I fail-
"Testosterone is an evil elixir concocted by the Devil that is bros to force bros to rape and murder anyone in sight."
I'm pretty sure that never happened. I also don't know a whole lot of people who think rape and murder are ok.
"BUT BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOS"
If that's not realistic enough for you, one of the comments reads:
And then half the human race had gender dysphoria with no way to transition.
Isn't the world great?
And that about sums up New Universe Three, but I'm here to talk about New Universe Seven, in which despite being pacifist, ponies are better covert ops agents then humans. Despite endurance and stealth (and large brains) being our natural advantages.
Also, we stole Discord, smashed his statue body, and painted some nukes with it, and then nuked Equestria from orbit. Because his remains have anti-magic properties or something, I don't know, but somehow they made a conversion serum that isn't mind control, and yet they decided to nuke Equestria.
I mean, I'm down with a new body, God knows how bad my asthma is, not to mention being allergic to cats, dogs, sheep, cattle, and namely, horses. And pretty much anything in existence that isn't edible.
If people were offering me a free body devoid of physical defeats, I'd be like:
"Where can I sign up? That sounds like a cool deal!"
If we can make a serum that isn't mind controlling, and ponies are good covert ops, why to just have these ponies volunteer as staff, and then destroy all the normal serum and replace it with the good stuff? Is that too hard to implement, despite sneaking into Equestria, stealing Discord's body and then nukeing a massive amount of the earth's crust to nonexistence? (Special mention being given to various massive sea level droppings and other assorted calamities, despite no flooding when Equestria appeared. Seriously, where did the water go?)
Oh yes, we also decapitated Celestia, kept her still living head in a box, and created an earth pony slave race with her blood. And the unicorns are a magical hive mind, because magic, despite the other races having magic.
And you know the slave race works for one hundred years as basically converted ponies (that is, human, but without the ability to make moral decisions), and then live for about fifty more years as beasts of burden, their intelligence fading over the course of their lives like magical Alzheimer's.
Basically, this fic serves to showcase the evils of Communism. Wait...
The evils of Consumerism. Wait...
The evils of Zombification.
Yes. That last one. That's the moral of the story.
(Alternatively:
Kids, don't be racist. Hitler was racist, he commited suicide in a bunker. Celestia was racist, she lives for all eternity as a screaming head in a box. The HLF was racist, they caused tons of natural disasters.
God knows that Stallion was racist, he died in a nuclear fire.)
Um.... What?
1486205 Exactly what I said while reading both of these stories.
so chat made a story about humans using discord's statue to nuke all of the currently available land of Equestria?
It is no wonder the person who wrote the original story seems to have vanished from the face of the earth, He ashamed of what people have done with his universe!