The door to the office burst open with a loud bang, utterly shattering both its wooden structure and the sweet, sweet silence that had reigned within for the briefest moment.

"Invictus... how did you get in here? Again...?" Princess Luna turned her plush office chair to face me from across her overly elaborate wooden desk.

"Travesty!" I screeched indignantly, holding up a crumpled mess of papers in my hand, then throwing the lot unto her desk.

With a sigh, she shuffled through the papers before looking up again with one raised eyebrow, "This is the script to Moulin Rogue..."

"And it's absolutely horrid! But, that's not why I'm here."

She sat there for a moment, eyeing her newly broken door.

"This is where you're supposed to ask why I'm here." I prompted.

"Why ar-"

"Blasphemy!" I shouted yet again, "The incredibly epic season finale has ruined everything!"

The princess's head hit the desk with a thump, as she covered it with her hooves, "Didn't I fire you last week?"

I paused, thinking back. A vague recollection twinkled through the haze of alcohol-addled thoughts, taunting me with its lack of clarity. There had definitely been yelling. Crying, perhaps. At some point, something or someone had been set on fire. That may or may not have been me. Would explain the burns.

"Maybe?" I shrugged.

This wasn't the first time we'd had this particular conversation, so I was eager to move quickly through her required dismay at my continued presence in the castle. I pressed on, before she could speak again.

"As the official emperor of the fanfiction brigade, I expect to be consulted when the plebeian writers do something silly... like make Twilight suddenly have a brother, who is suddenly the captain of the guard!"

"Offi-" She glared at me past her hooves, "There is no such thing as the 'fanfiction brigade', and you barely qualify as a drunken, homeless bum!"

"I take offence to that, madame! I'll have you know that the balcony outside Twilight's old room is both cozy and spacious!"

Her eyes narrowed and she began writing a note on a spare piece of paper. I cursed my mouth for running off without me... now I would only have a few minutes after I left to move my stuff before they burned everything again. Reaching up to loosen my dirty tie, I stood as straight as I could and summoned more indignant outrage.

"Well, what am I supposed to do now!? Go back and re-write Aegis's entire character and half the story to fit!?"

"I really couldn't care le-"

"Of course!" The idea came to me all at once, "I'll simply ignore it! The readers won't care! Hell, maybe I'll simply attach an AU tag or something at the end just to pacify the picky ones!"

The princess continued glaring at me in what I could only assume was a potent mixture of both glee and awe at my brilliance. I casually dodged the dresser she threw at me in admiration and bowed.

"Thank so much, your highness, for your wonderful advice." I had to let her think she'd inspired me or something... otherwise her poor sense of self-esteem would be as utterly shattered as the chair that slammed into the wall behind me as I bowed, "You're too kind, princess."

I waved happily at her as I stepped back out of her office and sprinted away, bowling over several surprised guards in the process. They'd probably be sad they missed seeing me again, but there was little I could do about that... I had a story to write!

Her cheers of impotent rage echoed through the halls, lending a lovely symphony of appreciation to the ideas that coursed through me.