Sleepy Journeyman is best Journeyman · 5:00pm Sep 28th, 2013
I have long since known that I write my weirdest and best when I am half asleep and listening to Lovecratian hellspeak podcasts on Youtube. Sometimes... I really don't know why I am allowed access to a computer.
Will this turn into a story? Yes. 
Good evening, dear listeners. It is days like these that I am ever grateful to live in our small desert town. The moon is bright and full, the sun is hot and relentless, and the glow cloud that rained dead animals on our small town has finally moved on.
Welcome, to Night Vale. I am your radio host, Cecil.
Hello, listeners. To start things off, I am told this morning’s acid rain clouds cast mysterious lights on the ground for approximately four minutes. Geode Turner, a local farmer, sketched the shapes before blood began hemorrhaging from his eyes. Several mysterious soldiers from an unknown but still nefarious government agency have been passing out fliers encouraging pony households to come outside, assuring everyone it was safe to let our children play in the alien geometrics. Nurse Cortex says Mr. Turner will make a full recovery, despite him now speaking in a language not on record. Nurse Cortex assured me these symptoms will pass.
And now the news. A banner of Princess Celestia came to life after the acid rain fell. When the lovely two dimensional copy began knocking on doors and asking for help, the baker Whisk invited the paper princess inside for cupcakes. The princess says they are too sweet and needed to be in the oven for another two minutes.
Several griffonic patrols passed overhead today. When questioned, the Night Vale secret police demanded at gunpoint that inquirers return to their homes before placing several floodlights in the park. What nice police, providing lights for lost griffins.
Has anyone seen the glowing cloud turning against the wind? Please do not be afraid; the secret police assure me that this was expected, as was the sounds of screaming, whistling, and laughing children it emits. The Night Vale meteorologists are currently under investigation for corruption for letting the police do their jobs for them.
This is... like, .... the best thing ever.
Uh...what did I just read? Cause it was awesome! Even though it made no sense.
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Didn't you listen to Cecil? A banner of Celestia came to life, the acid rain lights are safe to play in, griffon patrols were spotted overhead, and the glow cloud is turning around.
"The princess says they are too sweet and needed to be in the oven for another two minutes." I've seen enough to know what that line is suggesting.
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If you feel that there is missing or incomplete information, feel free to send a missive to the Night Vale radio station.
NIGHT VALE, AS IN THE PODCAST?
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Good old Secret Police. They sure do keep our best interests in mind, when they are completing their civic duties. Yep nothing out of the ordinary to worry about here (O_o)
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I have no idea why I was compelled to do this. But secret police, government agencies, lovecraftian horrors, and a passively snarky radio host just seemed like something I should do.
That's not the weirdest stuff that happens in Night Vale. I can't decide if this is the worst or the most awesome place to live.
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Night Vale seems like a pretty chill place to live. I mean have you ever had a slice of Big Rico's Pizza before?
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No, but I heard from some robed figures that it is absolutely sublime.
Do you think I got the Night Vale mood right?
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I'd say it was a pretty good job, for something you wrote in the throes of wild sleep deprived inspiration.
The most difficult aspect of writing anything Night Vale related is probably matching the odd pacing of it's radio show format. Night Vale isn't something that's meant to be experienced/read quickly. So taking steps to ensure one's readers approaches with the right pace in mind, would go a long way in positively impacting their reading experience.
Just keep that particular "Night Vale" rhythm in your mind as you write, and it should match up pretty well.
Oh don't forget to include an abstract "Goodnight listeners" speech when closing out your story. <-This is key
That's about all I can think of considering the length and the experimental nature of the piece. Now if you will excuse me, I've suddenly been overcome with the desire to review more things now.
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I wish I was talented with music. I don't think I can do the weather in traditional Night Vale format. I'll think of something, or I'll bring in the glow cloud.
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I'm very much contemplating putting this as Dr. Salizar's home. I think he would fit right in.