Breaking through mental blocks (a rant on BDSM and writing) · 2:53am Sep 26th, 2013
This is the one time where I'm not going to site ye olde enemy Writer's Block as a reason for not updating faster. This one is a bit of a mental block. One of my friends pointed out during the creation of his OC's story that a particular scene took a lot out of him. It got me thinking a bit. As a writer, I try and put as much emotion as I can into whatever I'm writing. Get into my characters' heads and play with their minds. It helps the creative process, it helps me get to know them and, of course, if I can honestly portray emotion onto page, I feel that I've done my job as a writer.
Now...in terms of bondage and Twilight Sparkle.
I'll be honest, despite my name, I spent a lot of my time wandering through Fetishland as a submissive despite me thinking that I'd probably be better off as a switch, or experimenting between Domme and sub. Probably explains why so much of this is from Twilight's perspective, not counting necessary storytelling. The dynamic between the Dominant and the submissive is something I am so much in love with; the dependence that both players need to have on each other. The scene itself. Breaking in play. Aftercare. Out of all of those, there's only a handful of times that I honestly wanted to quit the scene.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Don't worry, I'm not going to spoil the next chapter for my lovely readers. I will say, as a nerd with anxiety problems in my day life (my more fetish-friendly activities being under the radar of the people I interact with daily), that edge of anxiety is a constant part of my life that I don't like tapping into on purpose. However, for the sake of Twilight and her story, I tapped into it. I get what my friend was saying about exhausting himself after a particularly stressful chapter he wrote. I've been aware of my limits as a writer before, but there are times where I feel like I could use aftercare, like now. My other half doesn't necessarily "get" this story, although he is more of a Dominant type himself (and a closet brony, my friends and I joke, despite how he says he's not a brony at all). I don't know if me cuddling up to him looking for comfort would even make sense out of context, especially since he hasn't been feeling well and fell asleep early in the evening.
I've been avoiding completion of the latest chapter just because I knew what I'd have to write and while the situation isn't quite the same as from my own personal experience as a sub, the emotion is. Pushing through that mental block is hard sometimes. The mind is determined to protect itself, after all. Part of the purpose of me putting it there isn't just as a push for the story itself, but a push for my scared ass to face what had psyched me out beforehand. Writing has always been a sort of therapy for me, a release of things I can't always do or say in my normal life. There are, however those times where that same art is exhausting. Beyond exhausting. I could have easily changed the chapter if I wanted to, but somehow, I feel as though it might lose value if what I was avoiding was cut just so I could hide safely under the covers like a scared child.
I'm not quite sure if I'm making sense or going anywhere with this because I do kind of feel mentally drained. The next chapter will be online by morning or sooner. As always, thank you my lovely readers, for your likes, your favorites, your comments and suggestions. I love you all the more for it <3
I have writer's block right now!
I HATE IT!
1376411 You and me both. I'll sit there staring at my computer screen, watching the little cursor blink on and off and the whole time I want to commit bloody murder out of frustration. UUUGH.
1376421 SAME THING! All I need is to start a story about how my character gets his cutie mark. Yet I sit in front of my laptop for an hour like Spongebob with only the word 'The' written all fancy like
*hugs* You have my support, and well wishes that you can either safely deal with those mental blockages and the most evil of evils, writer's block.
Best of luck.
1376424 I feel like that ALL the time. Usually my "THE" is a paragraph I started off that sounded really good and then I have noo idea of how to continue with the same quality because at the time, my brain is only capable of writing, "See Spot run. Spot runs fast." You know, Shakespeare-worthy :P
1376433 Thank you <3 I can deal with it safely, it's more or less just pulling my mind out of the little dark corner I put myself in. These comments do help.
And the most evil of evils, Writer's Block, should die a slow, painful death.
1376445 Of course! I just wish I had a little help. Ideas randomly popping into my brain rarely occurs with me.
And this is pretty much us right now: google.com/search?q=spongebob+essay&rlz=1C1AFAB_enUS477US481&espvd=210&es_sm=93&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&authuser=0&ei=IqNDUtCpPJei4APMxIHYDQ#authuser=0&es_sm=93&hl=en&q=spongebob+essay+meme&tbm=isch&um=1&facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=3PYYOLiF7fWQvM%3A%3BQ0JJkgF6JgksoM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fi.qkme.me%252F3tmu2e.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.quickmeme.com%252FSpongebob-meme-essay-procrastination%252F%3B320%3B240
Sorry about the URL. Had no idea that would happen! :P
1376455 Silly filly, hit "view image" on Google Images and then copy the link c;
i.qkme.me/3tmu2e.jpg
There you go!
Like this blog post stated, I'm completely worn out from finishing the chapter, but if you'd like, shoot me a message. I'm generally a good wall for bouncing ideas off of, or at least as a place for you to state out ideas and and maybe find things out yourself. You know, get that train back on track, so to speak :P Can't promise that I'll be able to bounce ideas around tonight but when I've got more than half a brain on me, I can bounce ideas c:
1376471 Well look at that!
Thanks for the tip! We should totally help each other bounce ideas! (I can barely finish the first paragraph of the next chapter of the new story out Saturday) Anyway, I must sleep! Maybe something will come to me I dunno.
Thanks again!
....DUNE REFERENCE!!!!
My respect for you has just meteorically risen to extremely high.
Oh, and your story is really good too~
Mistress Darkhoof, have you read Sunstone? It seems like something up your alley