The Definition of Being a Man in a Relationship (And why it's taking so long to update) · 5:07pm Oct 17th, 2013
Warning: This is a ranty, vent-y blog post. This is a partial delay update, so I'm sorry about how long it's taking me to churn out a new chapter. There's been a lot of family drama on my side and yeah, I've been pissed over it. So this is a quick warning if you don't want to step into my personal business.
Okay? Okay. Lemme go now, I want to vent >:/
The brother in law and his wife live with us, and their relationship is incredibly young, new and volatile. Without dipping too much into their personal life, I'll say that they got married way too young and way too fast. The wife turned 21 in December; the brother in law's 21st is at the end of this month. They got married after a year of dating and have only been legally married for about 8 months. Bad setup. Worse setup is when the brother in law sends a co-worker to tell his wife that he wants a divorce. Oh, and he's with some chick (and from what I've heard, has been with her for the last 6 months...out of the 8 months they've been married).
Ugghh. I am really big on a man who can be sensitive and who doesn't care about if what he's doing is manly or not, in the context of a relationship. But isn't there also a time when you have to have the balls to be a big boy and do the break up yourself? The brother in law and I have had a rocky relationship from the start and he broke my trust about a year ago. Now it's a problem with losing my respect. Despite all the problems that I had with his wife and her parenting abilities with her two year old son (not the brother in law's kid, thank God), no one deserves to be broken up with like this. It's about as bad as a text message breakup... maybe worse because they already tied the knot, legal paperwork and all. I signed their marriage certificate as a witness, FFS. My man and I intervened in many of their arguments, trying to calm them both down and give them help on what worked on pulling our relationship out of the mud. We took all of that time to take care of them, only to have her dumped like so much dead weight because of reasons that the brother in law had justified in his mind. I can't help but feel like it was partially my fault that they failed. I also can't help but be a little insulted, that all the time and effort my man and I put into helping them out was essentially for nothing, because the brother in law lacked the balls to handle his relationship properly.
I almost lost my shit the other day after the wife packed up and her mother helped her move into her home... the brother in law came home, new girl tailing him like a little puppy. I had so many insults at the tip of my tongue, mainly, "Is your name Miley Cyrus by chance? Did you come in like a wrecking ball? You know, wrecking a marriage? Is that what you do, as a home wrecker?" (okay that's not really that insulting, but I entertained myself with that one). My man made it really awkward by asking them to stay for dinner, so he could milk all of the information out of them that he could. I just aggravated the thuggish brother in law with my music. I don't think he likes metal for some reason. It doesn't contain any rap. I don't know, I wasn't very mature while meeting the new girl...hell, I referred to her as the new bitch, in text messages and whispers to my man. But really, the situation is shit all around and for people who made a decision to get married, there was a lack of communication here.
In my non-pony side of life (and in a very anti-brony community as well), I give a lot of relationship advice to young teens and those who need a female perspective when it's a very male-dominated website and community. Relationships are my thing. I take them seriously. I just can't help but feel like I had failed them somewhere. But then I remember how stubborn the brother in law is, how delusional he sometimes is in passing the blame to everyone else but himself. When he was home Tuesday afternoon, he got all ticked off by my snide commentary and started calling everyone in the house morons. I sniped back, "I might be a moron, but at least I have the balls to handle my relationship," right in front of his new bitch. That just got him angrier and the angry comments kept flowing. That's what he does when he's mad, blames everyone else and insults them for the blame. I don't know if it's a self-defense mechanism to protect some inner fragile psyche, or if he really believes the load of bull spewing from his own mouth, but whatever it is, it ended up hurting the woman he is still technically legally married to at this moment. I've heard from the wife that he's trying to apologize and he wants to work things out. She's playing her cards carefully to see if it's even worth her time or if he's just spewing more bull. I think she's too nice for even that. I'm sorry, but with what he and I have been through, I've lost my trust and respect for him. He tries to act all thug and manly and gangsta like nothing can hurt him, yet he can't even end a relationship with dignity. I wouldn't give that shit a second chance, much less a first (but then again, I am with his brother). The whole situation just pisses me off.
The bomb dropped Monday night when the wife KNEW something was going to go wrong. He refused the ride home from college, he didn't come home after work, he wanted my man to hand over his laptop and Xbox to the coworker he sent to drop the message. The entire time he was being vague on the phone, he wouldn't message her, wouldn't talk to her, wouldn't do anything and she knew something was wrong. Never doubt that woman's intuition, ladies. I swear to Celestia that we are psychic sometimes. The coworker felt bad about being the one to do it and even said that her "husband" (I use that term loosely now) wasn't man enough to do it himself. I've never wanted to punch a human being in the face more than I did Tuesday afternoon, when the brother in law waltzed into the house with his new bitch. Oh, dear Celestia help me.
So, on an update notice, all this drama has been incredibly distracting. I've been so upset and stressed over it (okay, well everything stresses me out) that it's hard to write a sexy story with the sexy attention it deserves. I don't want to lace my negativity into the writing, so I've actually been staying off of the computer for long amounts of time and putting focus into housework. I'll be the stereotypical housewife, but cleaning helps get my mind off of other things, sometimes. It certainly helps resist the urge to punch people in the face. I COULD focus that anger into the discipline side of the story but that's about all I'd get done. There'd be no sexy for you all to enjoy D:
So yeah, my life in a nutshell. It's crazy and chaotic and it doesn't make a lot of sense. I've spent a lot of time with the two mentioned above and the kid she has. The house has been strangely quiet since she and the kid moved in with her mother and the brother in law only comes home to sleep now. The peace is coming back, but it's only taken a good couple of days -_-
Wow... Cases like these are one of the reasons why it should be fair to have a man castrated just for being so stupid and cruel. So much good would come out of keeping such stupid males from reproducing.
It is so nice of you to care so much about relationships of others. It's just a shame that us men can be so stupid and lack any sort of sensitive abilities.
Thanks for letting your readers know what is going on and why stuff isn't being updated. I hope you can have a fair number of peaceful days and not have to deal with the brother in law much. Best of luck Darkhoof.
Catagory five shit storm in coming every pony and I do agree with you that the guy didnt have balls to break up with her him self and I would.personaly shoot him in both knee caps and give him to pinkamena so she could make cup caks out of him so that what little good.that is in him is used the right way but that's just me
I'm a guy... so I don't have said woman's intuition. To top that off, I'm pretty cynical with crap like this, so I wouldn't have the patience to deal with it. Were I in your shoes I would have kicked that guy out on the street and asked the wife to stay and help her. If I were to do something like that to my girlfriend, I would expect, and want (even though its unlikely with her sub. personality), her to be pissed off and to hate me. This isn't right.
I applaud you and your patience, you certainly are a good auspice to say the least, and a damn good support to be able to hold your tongue like such. I would have screamed him out the moment he walked in the door.
And WTF he doesn't like metal??? Metal is badass! (It is the only defense against the music of the swaggits and the modern rap-moron *even though older rap is decent*) XD