Situation update. status: Not good · 11:11pm Sep 13th, 2013
Risk of job loss
hours cut
bills out of control
mental breakdown
morale low
Just the tip of the iceberg right now.
for those of you who care, my hours at McDonalds ahve been cut so mcuh I had to take two other jobs to compensate and it still wasn't enough.
I've sought out a fourth job in hopes of dealing with the mounting bills that have been leaving me so dmaned stressed and distracted ltely.
But, somehow, Mcdonalds found out, and that dman clown cut my hours even MORE, with the very real possiibility of being FIRED if this 4th job accepts me onto the payroll.....
You can see where there's a problem, right?
For the past two months I've been trying to shift blame onto Proejct: dragon Kngiht but, let's face it, it's gotten jsut as f**king stalled as FNTK has because of my screwball situation back at home....
Combine that with a mounting feeling of FAILURE considering the generally NEGATIVE reaction to my decision to join with Griffin and Io in a separate canon, simply because I wanted the freedom to write how I WANTED to write, plus constant issues in real life, among the Chessverse, and on the CKC forums, not to mention my honest to goodness DREAD at the planned crossover with Zeta, considering Cloudsurfer's lacking[read:non-existant] confidence in my writing abilities...
And, well...right now I feel like a complete and utter failure.
Hence the point of this blog. Right now, I wat your honest opinions of me as a writer and as a person. No bullshit, no false kindness, no lying, just the straight-up honest truth....
Am I a failure...or not?
Because I can't tell anymore.
that's a sexy profile picture you got there
I don't read your fics, but only cus I don't have the time.
On the forums, you're a fantastic person - no matter what some idiots would have you believe.
Keep on truckin'.
I don't think you're a failure. Heck, you helped get this group up and running. I think it's because you're trying to take too many projects at one time. I'm not talking about the jobs, though sorry to hear about that, I mean how many groups, collabs and projects are you a part of?
the Kaiju girl thing, as far as I know was recent decision, but did you absolutely have to take that on?
Zeta is...zeta. I don't know what it is about you're writing that zeta has no confidence in.
the separate canon thing was weird imo. Not sure what to say about that.
But you're still a cool guy. Like I said in my blog that put me on hiatus, you are one of the few people in the chess group mods who I actually respect.
I hope things look better for you in the future.
1347914 ...not sure how to respond to that.
1347987 surprised to see you here, thanks for that.
1348140 Project: Dragon Kngiht was actually something I'd wanted to work on for a LONG while, but the decision to go all out was only recent.
Zeta hasn't responded positively to ANY idea i brought up. no matter what. And that's one of the main reasons for opting to go into a separate canon....I didn't want to go fighting tog et what I want, because I only write for fun, but lately, the Chessverse has felt more like a job than fun.
My opinion of you? You're a pretty cool guy. A little bit on the random side, but I can respect that.
My opinion of how to remedy people getting you down? You need to show everyone what you can do. You need to show them WHY your stories have so many likes and favorites. You need to show them WHY you have been so successful. You need to show them WHY you have so many loyal followers and watchers.
Because I know for damn sure it wasn't because you're a failure.
You, a failure?
No, I don't believe that's the case at all. Certainly your writing can be a little random, and I agree with Music that perhaps creatively you've spread yourself so quite thin that the chuncks of Branston Pickle is glaringly obvious (this is a perfect example of a failure of analogy in which I compare your rocky current situation to British sandwich spread, but I digress), but your camaraderie and worldbuilding along with the majority of other authors within our sub-fanon is one of the reasons I joined.
Sure, you may have bitten off more than you could chew with the idea for a 1-to-1 correlation between all the canon fics, but you realized it was stifling you creatively and just was not going to work, so you made a delineated separation. I respect that.
Personally, you, along with all the authors within the chessverse, have had a lasting impact on the face of the setting that Rust started, and whether positive or negative (coughcoughhygoncough), I honestly cannot imagine where we would be without your contribution.
As a person, I like chattering on with you in the chatroom, so I hope that is at least something of a positive vouch.
But then again, I am the slowest posting, non-hiatus author in the Chessgame, so I suppose my opinions should be taken with a grain of salt. So, in summation, my opinion is that you're not a failure Knight, and it's up to you to decide how much worth my opinion holds.
To be honest I could care less about the Chessverse, I came here to read you story chessverse or not. And no you are not a failure sure stuck in a bad situation but not a failure.
Having monetary problems is not being a failure. The fact that you are taking three jobs at the same time and looking for a fourth while doing so much pony-related stuff proves that you are no failure. You are going through bad times, that's all.
Honestly?
In my opinion Knightmare, you are a good guy, a really good one. True, you are prone to go overboard, but thats something that everyone can do. From the way I saw it, you were always trying to help the group, one way or another and thats something that is worth noting. If someone has any question that is related to you, or any of your ideas/works/stuff, you are always more than happy to help, no matter how bad your situation is, and I respect that. Add to the fact that you do this while doing everything else and dealing with real life shit, proves just how much you are NOT a failure.
Just don't forget that.