Things that I would write, if only I could write: Part 1 · 1:06pm Sep 12th, 2013
So, I dream up ideas for stories every now and then, even though I've always been hopeless at writing them. Really, the last time I tried to write a story I just ended up getting depressed at how crappy it was and ranting to myself instead. But anyway, here's one of the most well-realised ideas that I've had yet. It's an MLP fanfic that I imagined, about a year ago now, about the Flower Girls: Daisy, Lily, and Rose. My story basically ignores their show personalities of being the doomsayers of Ponyville and gives them some better pretty different ones (because artistic license is a thing). The main trait that the three of them all share is that none of them come from a background of growing flowers, so they all rely on each other to make their flower store a successful business. Their families also play a big part in the story, and I made up some personalities for them as well as the main characters.
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Daisy is the younger sister of Carrot Top (since they're practically recolours of each other) and she comes from the carrot-growing family that live near Sweet Apple Acres. Much like the Apple family, the Carrot clan are strong believers in hard work over slacking, but they're laid back and kind when the work is done. Daisy is more on the chilled side of this attitude, whereas Carrot Top is a very diligent worker. This makes Daisy seem lax in Carrot's eyes, but her parents don't mind that she became a florist instead of a carrot farmer. When Daisy works in the flower store, she's more of a last-minute kind of worker; only putting in the real effort when it's vitally needed. Also, since the Carrots and Apples live so close together, Carrot Top has had a burning crush on Big Macintosh for years. A crush that only Daisy knows about.
Lily comes from a family that I had to completely make up, the bee-keeping family. I only invented them because there's clearly honey available in Ponyville, and the candles used for lighting at night could be made from beeswax. So some family would have to tend to the bees that make both of these. I'd imagine this family to be rather strict and austere about their business, as well as stern on their children. Lily was brought up in this frame of mind by her parents, but she always took a keen interest in the bees' activity when they were set loose to pollinate the flowers in Ponyville. Because of this essential process, her parents didn't mind when she started up the flower store with her friends (after all, bees need flowers and vice versa). Lily is a bit dopey at times, but very inquisitive and good at finding details or solutions to problems that nopony else might think of. She's a bit like a less-energetic Pinkie Pie. Her two younger brothers, however, are rather envious of how she was able to "escape" the strict regime of their parents and the bee-keeping lifestyle.
Rose was not born or raised in Ponyville. She originally comes from the cherry orchard at Dodge Junction, which makes Cherry Jubilee her mother (they look so similar). Rose never liked living in the middle of the desert, except for when the beautiful cherry blossoms would bloom. Being from a cherry-growing family, she gained a real instinct for detail and quality (what with cherry-picking being a thing). She only came across Daisy and Lily by chance when she was brought along by her mother to Ponyville (who went there in order to get permission with the Mayor to expand her cherry business). I'll explain how the rest happened later, but the point is that soon afterwards Rose decided to move over to Ponyville and leave Dodge Junction behind. While this didn't seem to disappoint Cherry, Rose always got the feeling that she desperately didn't want her to go. A key factor in this is that Cherry is a widow, and Rose is her only daughter. This tension between the two of them has yet to be resolved. Rose herself is very passionate about her work as a florist, and a generally passionate pony about everything she cares about. She can, however, be prone to stress when things don't go her way. Also, she has a lingering southern accent from her upbringing, but it's slowly being phased out by the more northern Ponyville dialect. I suppose she's the main character in this story, what with how much more detail I've put into her than the others.
The key event that brought all three of them together happened on the day that Rose visited Ponyville for the first time. While Cherry was doing business with the Mayor, she was told to wait outside until she returned. But since Rose doesn't like simply waiting like that, she went to explore the town a bit and make some conversation with the other fillies. As it so happened, she encountered Daisy and Lily (who were already friends from school), got talking with them, and quickly became very friendly with them. They went off into the market by themselves and had a look around. Daisy and Lily showed Rose the stalls of their families, out of friendliness and politeness, but Rose's interest was especially piqued when she saw a flower stand being run by an elderly stallion (yet to be named by me). Indeed, both Daisy and Lily were also drawn in by this and they all got talking to the stallion running it. He was a kind old stallion, and asked them if they'd like to help him with sorting and arranging the flowers. They wholeheartedly agreed. (I'm aware that this plot point is a bit of a stretch of plausibility, so I may have to improve upon it at some point, but let's run with it for now.) Much to the stallion's surprise, his stall gained a lot of attention with the girls helping him out and his business was suddenly booming. When the market was closing down for the day, he thanked the three girls--beaming with pride--for their work. At that point, they all got their cutie marks. Cherry soon found Rose, scolded her for not waiting like she'd told her to, and all-but-dragged her to the train home. A few months later, Rose returned to Ponyville for good, found Daisy and Lily, and they all took up job positions at the stallion's flower stall.
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All of what I've written is just the backstory and setting of the fanfic. The story itself would be set long after those events, when the three girls would be running the stall by themselves after the retirement of that old stallion. Each chapter would be its own isolated story, meaning that the overall fic would be pretty episodic and slice-of-life. Not so much episodic in a MLP way, but closer to a slice-of-life anime such as Aria or an American sitcom such as Frasier. I'd want to gradually reveal parts of the characters' pasts as they come up within the individual episodes, and probably end the story with some kind of resolution between the conflicts and tensions (or until I run out of ideas). I'd also want the artwork for the story to be a ponified version of the album cover of Three Feet High and Rising by De La Soul, with the Flower Girls being in place of the members of the crew. I think that'd tie in nicely with the flower theme and reflect the generally light-hearted tone of the episodes.
And that's it. That's all, folks! I'll summarise another idea of mine sometime later.
This is a good idea...I can kinda imagine it in the exact MLP universe which is actually rarely done in fanfiction. Like, most people portray not only the characters out of character but the entire setting out...character...if that makes sense. This seems like a fic that could easily be told with the actual MLP setting in mind...kind of like an actual episode of MLP, albeit with different characters (and probably more continuity).
Also I kind of like how you set up the conflict. How none of them come from a background in flowers so I guess I can imagine them all trying to make it running a flower shop with little experience. That's a really good angle to take.
I also think an episodic-like format with self contained plots is a good way to go about an idea like this. If I could recommend a fanfic that deals with this format FLAWLESSLY I'd recommend to you Harpflank and Sweets if you haven't read it yet.
It seems like you've developed this idea fairly well, at least well enough to start on a first episode/chatper. Do you have any ideas?
(sorry I'm not any good at actual critique. That being said you have a nice story here and I can't actually think of anything that I'd do differently.)
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Thanks! Your point about this being actually set in the MLP universe is pretty correct. I came up with the idea not only as a potential story but also to do some worldbuilding. The episodes where you learn more about Equestria itself and how it works (Winter Wrap Up, Hurricane Fluttershy, Family Appreciation Day, etc) are some of my favourites, so I wanted to do just a little bit of that myself. In fact, most of the other fanfic ideas I had do some of that. On another note, I don't get why more fanfics don't seem like they're set in the show's Equestria. Why wouldn't they if it's an MLP fanfic?
The point about them starting from scratch with the flower business is that they have the team skills and talent to get along, but they're still inexperienced. It leaves good room for character development, even if I set it just a few years after they got their cutie marks. Also, flowers would be different from the other grown goods, since they're both food and ornaments at the same time. A bit of a luxury, like the organic equivalent of fine chocolate (although actual flowers don't taste anything like that).
I've certainly heard of Harpflank and Sweets before, but I never read it. So I might well give it a read at some point. I only really got the idea to make it slice-of-life when I was writing this post up. I recently watched Cowboy Bebop and I'm watching Samurai Champloo now, and both those shows have several individual episodes set in a longer plot line. Of course, my story wouldn't be nearly as violent as those two, but you probably get the idea.
Sadly, I don't have any ideas. I literally just have the setting and nothing else. Plus, as I said, I couldn't write a story to save my life. I've thought about trying hard and persevering to get good at writing, but I feel that I'm already good enough with making music. It'd be silly to try and straddle the mediums like that, instead of focusing on one and actually getting good at it.
Well, I can't say this with any confidence, but I think most people are trying to tell a different story but with ponies. So they have a story in mind but they sort of adapt it to an MLP format and thus adapt the MLP format to easier fit their story. It makes for neat hybrids and it's not a bad thing by any means. But I have to say that I find it really refreshing when I read a fanfic and it really captures the MLP from the show.
I would recommend Harpflank and Sweets not just because it's a good fic but is a really good example on writing in that episodic format where they have individual episodes but an over-arcing storyline. Unfortunately, it updates like twice a year. Samurai Champloo and Cowboy Bebop are also great examples of that. I can say that with some confidence because I have seen both of those animes but I've completed neither of them and watched the episodes out of order and I can still get into each episode with no context.
Well if anything you've created a sort of pool that you can play around in if you ever feel like it. I think you've actually got the hardest part of writing down and that's world building. At this point it's sort of like reverse-engineering reading.
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You're probably right about that, actually. I'm sure I've read a fair few stories that could easily be set on Earth, with humans, that've been shoehorned into the MLP setting. By contrast, I've read hardly any stories that actually play out like an MLP episode.
I think I will read it, then. Probably not so much for "research", but more because it sounds like something fun to read. And if you could watch random episodes of Bebop and Champloo then that's a definite sign of two quality episodic shows. You should totally watch them in full, by the way. They're both awesome.
Haha, if anything the world-building is the easier part for me. It's integrating dialogue with description that I find hard. I reckon that I could actually do okay if I just wrote a story as a script or as pure description, but I'm no good at blending the two together. I suppose I do have a pool to play with, though. So I guess if I ever change my mind then I can just give it a go anyway.
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it's a pretty rare thing but I've seen a few fics like that but I can't remember what they were called or what they were about for the life of me. D:
I do plan on watching them in their entirety some day because they are both great animations. Hopefully that day will be soon.
That's not a bad idea! I'd probably write this out as a script and maybe put their actions in parenthesis kind of like stage directions or something. I think it'd be a good way to practice!
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In that case, if I ever do write this then I suppose I'll start from the script first. That might be an interesting approach to take, actually: building things from the dialogue up. It'd probably make the story feel more like a play or TV show than prose, which is what I'd want from an episodic/slice of life fic.