It Takes Two to Tangle · 3:01am Sep 8th, 2013
I tried writing a fic once, based on a flash fic prompt on EqD. It didn't exactly pan out. I took another crack at it two months ago, but quit less than 600 words in. I really have no idea where to go with it and don't feel like ever finishing the damned thing. I kinda like what little there is, though, so I figured I'd upload it here. On the off chance that someone actually sees this and wants to do something with it, there's no need to credit me. Ideas are cheap, after all. Just don't plagiarize
It was a typical day at Carousel Boutique: Opal was enjoying her sunbeam far away from a feverish Sweetie Belle, who stumbled about the room, while Rarity put the finishing touches on her latest masterpiece—les Cheval Criardes.
It was, nonpareil, the finest outfit she—neigh, anypony—had ever made, and with a few more adjustments it would become the paragon of fashion. "Hmm… perhaps a few more rubies?" Rarity pondered. She scoured a nearby chest for the gems, but failed to scrounge up anything more precious than emeralds.
Nearby, Sweetie Belle managed to tumble down the staircase like some kind of helical spring—again! Rarity ignored her; she was "in the zone”, as it were. Besides, she was used to her sister's silly antics, and knew that showing her any attention would only make things worse.
"I'm okay!" the filly cried.
"Sigh, I suppose I shall have find some more!" Rarity exclaimed dramatically, making certain all her neighbors could hear. She ambled toward Golden Oaks Library, where she hoped to borrow Spike for some good ol' fashioned slave labor. However, before she could trot even ten hooves inside [Equestria has yet to convert to metric], she was struck by a sudden beam of intense white light.
Twilight, despite Rainbow Dash's pleas since the Ursa incident, had never used Number 25 on a mare before. Strange, she thought, Rarity doesn't appear to have any facial hair. I'll have to run some tests! Before she could even reach for her scalpel, however, a smooth baritone spoke from where Rarity lay—it was her mane! "I am ze Great Coiffure," it said. "And now zat I am free, I can fine-lly take over Ponyville!" With a shrill bleat, Twilight fainted.
An indeterminate amount of time later, both mares came to. "Ugh… the hay? What happened? How long have I been out?" Twilight recapitulated. "Rarity, how long were we unconscious?"
A series of practiced whimpers glissered into the wailing of a banshee. "My hair!" Rarity cried. "What did you do to my hair?"
Twilight backed away from her friend in fear, both of what she might do to her and what might happen should Owlowiscous hear the screeching downstairs. "I'm so sorry, Rarity. I didn't mean to! I swear, I can fix this. Just give me a few moments to research a new spell and—"
"NO!" Rarity shouted. "No more spells. You can see what trouble that's caused."
“I see it… but I don't believe it!”
Both ponies turned their heads toward the source of the interruption. Spike stood at the staircase slack-jawed, slack-kneed and all-around lacking in rigidity. Normally his spine was the only slackened part of his body. Wincing, his claws curled as though to defend himself from the horror Twilight had created: the once beautiful white unicorn for whom he doted, renowned throughout Ponyville if not for her inspired dressmaking or daring acts of heroism, then at least for her years of dedicated mane-tenance, was now bald!
At this point, I was gonna introduce Pinkie as "a similarly depilated pink blur… sporting a bright pastel camo riddled with tears", and wanted to work in a joke about Coiffure not taking Twilight's mane because it wasn't good enough. Pinkie describes it as flat and having no life to it; Spike comments that the joke is lame, followed by Rarity nickering "Not unlike Twilight's mane." Impressed, Pinkie quotes herself from the show, saying "Ooh, she's good!" I'd also planned on using Sweetie's cat-scratch fever in a War of the Worlds style ending
I read your story!
I READ IT UP!
2223510
Hehe, thanks, Present. While I'm not really a writer, I'd still appreciate any constructive criticism you might wish to offer. I may decide to come back to this at some point, even if only to improve what little I have without finishing the story (though I'm open to that possibility should the Muse ever strike)