help · 7:36pm Jun 20th, 2013
Well, here I am again.
I should be outside enjoying the summer with my friends—running with them, playing with them, one-upping them in sports or something—but instead I'm just sitting here again. Alone.
I think we all knew that a moment like this would come eventually. It's only a matter of time before we all head our separate ways, off to pursue our careers or education or whatever else. It doesn't matter. Point is, we're all leaving. Most of us, anyway. Call it destiny.
Destiny sucks.
I've never been one to worry much about the future. I always thought I had my life planned out from the start. Others always told me I was meant for greatness, and I believed them. I took that thought and ran with it. It became my life, the entire point of my existence to succeed and be the best. It was always about me. And I was fine with that.
That is, until that one day.
I'm not perfect. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. I don't think I ever truly realized how selfish I was until they came along and showed me that the point of life isn't to live for yourself, but rather for others. They showed me that there's good in giving, in sharing, in caring, in friendship.
That was the day I discovered happiness.
Up until that point, I had never cared much about anything by myself. Like I said before, I had always been told I would excel. I guess that made me put myself up on a pedestal in my mind. And I was fine with that. One close friend was all I ever needed in my childhood, and I figured I'd always be able to keep her close. That she would be everything I ever needed in terms of friendship. We had a mutualistic relationship—she gave me the confidence I needed, and I gave her protection. It was simple, really.
But now even she is leaving. Off to bigger and better things. And I don't want that to happen. I don't want everything I've gained over my life, and especially these past few years, to go away and leave me all alone. It's a fresh start for everyone, but to be honest, I'm perfectly fine with the way life is right now. All those dreams of greatness, of fame, of fortune—I'd give it all up if it meant we could all just stay here together.
And then there's her. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for her. Maybe I could bear with this pain, make it through the years, and be satisfied with the odd reunion every so often. But I can't imagine a life without her. I simply can't.
And I hate myself for not noticing how truly amazing she is before now. She's perfect, really. She's so brilliant, so beautiful, so fun to be around, and she might be the only one with who I can truly be myself. The comfort I feel when I'm with her is something I can't quite describe. Maybe that's for the best.
She has beautiful eyes.
Of course she doesn't know. She'll never know, knowing how much of a coward I am with this kind of thing. Everyone loves her—she's bound to find someone better than me, anyways. So anything I do wouldn't even matter. But all I can think of is that she's leaving, just like everyone else, and I can't stand that thought. If this is what love's supposed to feel like, then I don't ever want to love again.
All this is just too much to handle. I can't stand all these thoughts. I don't want to lose our friendships. I don't want to lose her. And I don't want to lose everything that I've worked these past few years to create. I might as well be losing my life.
So please. Help me. I don't know what to do. These thoughts just... dominate my mind. I can't think straight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Or hurt myself. Or something. I just don't know anymore.
Help.
My name is Rainbow Dash, and I've never felt so lost in my life.
I had a feeling this was a fic when you were saying it. You're too cheerful to make that all believable for yourself.
Sounds cool.
Interesting...
heh
1156918 I dunno if it's a fic idea, it was just some writing. That's all I can call it really. We'll see.
1156985 heh heh... heh?
1157024
It's just that in a hundred or so words on a concept blog you wrote a better and more believable FlutterDash than most 10,000+ word shipfics. (I interpret this as pre-Ponyville but whatever.)
*ded*
Don't steal all of my feels... okay?
Wait....
they're already gone.
Damnit you
1157034
I guess this is what I get for being so out of the loop... because I was thinking Twilight.
Which if done this well would totally work and is something I would definitely read. But I'm still out of the loop.
That was just epic!