). I want to tell you all about where I've been, what I've been up to, and share my journey with you guys. You were all around for some of the best times, and I felt it's only right to open back up again andChat with the Cast · 5:54pm May 27th, 2013
Good afternoon (or morning, evening, or night depending on your time zone), everybody! My name is Dusk Quill, and I will be your host for this pilot of the Skyfall Discussion Panel, where you can talk to those lovable, crazy characters from the deep dark world of Skyfall. The people have spoken, and the votes are in, so without any further ado, let's meet our first panel!
In the first seat, we have the enigmatic leader of Skyfall, Fleethoof.
Next, we have the Captain of the Guard himself, Shining Armor.
Also joining us today, that wily Bat pony, Midnight Dasher.
And bringing up the rear, the gentle giant of pyrotechnics, Cupcake.
The panel will be open for as long as there are responses coming in, so don't hesitate to say or ask anything of our guests! There's no time limit! There's also no amount to the comments anyone can ask. Messages can be sent either in the comments section, or through private message, if you'd like something to remain anonymous.
Rules:
There are none! Everything is free game!
Fleethoof: Wait, what? Anything goes? But some information is classified... *glances down the table to Dasher* Highly classified.
Dasher: Oh, lighten up, Fleet! It's all in good fun.
Fleethoof: That's 'Captain'...
Anyway! Let's get started! Have fun everyone, and everypony! Thanks again for the 1k Views! 
-- DQ
So Fleethoof. What are your feeling on Midnight Dasher if you weren't on a top secret mission?
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Fleethoof: She's an annoying, deceitful pony with no understanding of personal space or privacy. But she does have a wicked right hook.
Dasher: You always know just what to say.
Fleethoof: *rolls his eyes* When do you go back to the Shades?
Shining: Well, maybe you two just need to get to know each other a little better. Here, she can take my seat.
Dasher: I like this idea!
Fleethoof: No! I need you to be a shield between us!
*Shining Armor and Midnight Dasher switch places; Fleethoof rests his head grumpily on the table; Midnight cocks an innocent grin*
Fleethoof: You traitor, Shining...
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Shining, how does it feel to have your first name after a Stephen King book and later a movie of the same name. Will you get your own movie? Will it be creepy? If you had a lightsaber, what color would it be and why?
Fleethoof, why is it that every time I see your name, I think of sneakers? What makes Skyfall as awesome as it is? How do you do it? But no seriously, if you had a lightsaber, what color would it be and why? ...You crunchatize me Captain!
Midnight, does it hurt when you bite your tongue? Also, how do I become an ace stalker like you? Teach a rookie? If you had a lightsaber, what color would it be and why?
Cupcake, why you so Russian? Seriously, slow down. I admire that you are a fellow pyro like myself, what was your first explosion? If you had a lightsaber, what color would it be and why?
I think that about wraps it up! And no, I am not on drugs, I am but your local neighborhood weirdo...STOP LOOKING AT LIKE THAT!
Silver out!
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Shining: Uh... I... don't... know? I swear, I'm not gonna go crazy and murder all my friends and family or anything. Besides, I'm pretty sure Twiley could just toss me around the room like a ragdoll with her magic, and Fleet over there could have me through this table in a heartbeat if he wanted.
A movie would be cool, though. I'd like a movie about me. Maybe some sort of action packed summer blockbuster!
And if I had to pick a color... I'd say blue. I mean, hay, I'm all white and blue anyway - might as well compliment it!
Fleethoof: Probably because you have some deep-seated inner trauma with sneakers or something. Or you associate fast with sneakers. That's a less insulting answer, let's go with that one.
*chuckles* Well, I can't take all the credit for Skyfall's success. My ponies put a lot of effort into being the best they can be, but we couldn't do it without Quarter Master's help, or the rest of the Guard's cooperation. I think it's partly because we understand what we have to do is so important, so we really push ourselves to our limits. There's no place for error; no chance for mistakes. If we slip up, we're done. And nopony wants to be done.
I'd have to pick a red lightsaber.
*Shining and Cupcake turn to look at Fleethoof in shock*
Fleethoof: ... What?? It's not a Sith thing! I like red!
Dasher: Fillies and gentlecolts, I think we just witnessed the Captain defect to the Dark Side.
Fleethoof: Buck off...
Dasher: Such a charmer. My turn! Duh, of course it hurts when you bite your tongue! I mean, have you never- Oh, wait! You were talking about my fangs! Hahaha! Yeah, no, they're sort of set in my mouth to either side of my tongue, so unless I'm deliberately trying to bite it, it doesn't happen. See?
*Dasher sticks her tongue out, running it between her fangs; Fleethoof rolls his eyes and looks away*
Fleethoof: Pleasant...
Dasher: You know it's hot. What was the next question again? Oh, the stalker thing! Um... Go live in the Shades for as long as I have, go through the Lunar Guard training program. That's where I learned a lot of what I did. Life in the Shades isn't as cushy as living in the capital or floating cities...
*Dasher smirks at Fleethoof and Shining; both stallions roll their eyes*
Dasher: Sure, I could teach you, but I'd have to charge! Hahaha, I couldn't resist! And I'd have to pick either blue or purple as my lightsaber color. Oooh, or that golden amber-ish one, 'cause then it would match my eyes!
Cupcake: What did you call me? Russian? I am from North! I am Northern pony! When you grow up in Frozen North, you see how you speak then!
HAHAHahaha! First explosion! Brings back many memories... It was in parents' bakery. I was but a little colt, and they still want me to be baker, like them. They tell me, "Cupcake, go make cupcakes!" But I look at recipe and say, "Niet! Is too slow!" So I turn oven up to highest heat. Then cupcakes go boom, batter everywhere, and oven on fire! Hahahahaha! Parents were not happy...
Shining: *scoots his chair away from Cupcake* You terrify me...
Cupcake: If you mean first deliberate explosion, then that was in Guard training. I shoot barrels of gunpowder for fun. CO was not pleased, but found a way to use my skill. I become demolitionist then, and blow stuff up for real. The gates of Skyfall? They fell like child's building blocks.
And this lightsaber thing... Color does not matter. I want lightsaber that has two ends, so I can destroy twice as fast!
A couple of questions. The first one is to Fleethoof and Shining: What is up with you two and Princess Cadance?
My Second question is for Fleethoof: How would you feel if Dasher and Captain Armour joined Skyfall or began their own Ghost/Spec-Op unit?
Hmmmmm... well I guess these first few ones are for whomever knows best. This first one is one that either Fleethoof or Shining might know. What's Cadance up to? I haven't heard from her in a while and I was wondering what she's been up to? ...the two of you still talk to her right? Right I guess this next one is for whomever wants it: what's it like living in Canterlot? What's city life like? Heck, what's the city like?
Alright... now Fleethoof I've got a question about your history in the Griffin Kingdom. You spent a lot of time traveling the country side. Where there any land marks in particular that stood out to you, besides the river I mean? Also did you ever want to explore a particular area of the Kingdom, did you even give it any thought?
Right, so Shining... same question as Fleetoof... oh and you and Fleethoof seem pretty close... have you introduced him to the family yet?!
Okiee so Cupcake... how'd you get involved in the team Skyfall? I'm just wondering how you went from blowing up the gate at the city of Skyfall in a war zone to... well what you do now.
Midnight... so first of all is the Captain soft and cuddly? Second you've mentioned the Shades a few times now, can you go into some more details about life there? Have you seen Cloudsdale yet? Would you like too? And finally (for now) what where you up to during the war?
...and I expect I'll be back.
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Alright that was awesome and hilarious! And now my next question is for-
*dong*
*Silverstein drops unconscious, revealing two very young stallions behind him.*
*The brown earth pony stared down at Silver and the yellow unicorn had a shovel in his mouth*
"Uh, Coy? Where did you get that shovel anyway?"
*The yellow unicorn rolls his eyes and spit out the shovel*
"Right...supply. Well uh...hey Panel! My name is Blaze and this is my friend, Thunder Coy! We're both Karalian regular army officers that thought that talking to you guys would be fun! You know, OC to OC? Now that we knocked out our socially awkward creator, we have some questions of our own!"
"Ok, I'll go first! Captain Armor, I know that you and Captain Fleethoof are like brothers. I can relate *glances at Coy* but are there any other ponies that you're willing to risk your neck for? Anypony special?"
"Alright, your turn, Coy."
*Thunder Coy holds up a sign*
"Do Equestrians require military service like we do? Were you and Fleethoof Conscript Cadets like us? What's it like being a Captain, is it stressful?"
"Okay, now for Captain Fleethoof! I'm a Karalian First Lieutenant trying to get promoted to Captain, do you have any advice for me? Also, can you teach me some of your moves? I'm not very strong but I'm quick! I'm unmatched in sword play but other than that, I'm terrible hoof-to-hoof! Coy is a great shot but he's pretty timid. Can you help him? Your training would help tremendously. If you ever need a foreign friend, just call!"
*Coy holds out another sign in his mouth*
"I really like the way Skyfall operates and you guys do good work, but have you ever thought about making your team a little bigger? If so, how many members do you think you'll add? Have you ever fought alongside our Republican Strike Commandos? I think you two would get along well."
"Okay, Midnight Dasher! Do those bat wings give you an advantage, like speed, maneuverability or anything like that? How are the Equestrian Marines? Are they shock troops like our Coldstream Guards? How do they treat you, do they like you?"
...
"Okay, Coy. Go."
...
*The unicorn blushes*
"What? What's wrong?"
*The last sign drops, revealing the next one.*
"Marry me?"
*Next sign drops*
"If not, do you have a sister?"
...
"D-did you seriously just ask her that?"
*Coy's face became redder.*
"Whatever. Cupcake, everypony has a dream gun but what is yours? Also, from one tiny, skinny stallion to a big uh... scary one...how much can you lift? Favorite type of explosive? Do like your life in Skyfall?"
*Coy drops his last sign*
"First of all, please don't shove me in your burning oven and eat me, I'm still a virgin. Who was the toughest enemy you ever fought? Was it a pony or a griffon? How did you beat them?"
"Is that all, Coy?"
*The unicorn responds by rearing up on his back hooves and swatting his fore hooves around*
"Are you hungry?"
*Coy drops back down on all fours and licks the window separating them from the Panelists with his small tongue*
"I think I've finally mastered your sign language! Come along, Coy. Lunch it is! Thanks for having us guys, bye!"
*Coy winks at Midnight Dasher, shaking his yellow flank for her*
"Okay, that was a little graphic, buddy. Think of the foals."
*Both younger ponies gallop away*
*Silverstein's body remains, no pony claiming it*
Silver out!
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Fleethoof: Um, I don't know what you mean. There's nothing really 'up' with us. I mean, she's a good friend, and she's been a tremendous influence in my life since the war. Is that what you were talking about?
Shining: Yeah, like Fleet said. I knew her growing up. She used to foalsit Twiley whenever our parents would go out and I'd be out with my friends. She's really nice, and friendly, and a great pony. We've been friends for... well, ever!
Fleethoof: Exactly! She's a really good friend. To both of us.
Shining: And that's it.
Fleethoof: Nothing more.
Shining: The end.
*Dasher looks between the two stallions*
Dasher: You guys are so weird...
Fleethoof: To answer your second question, I... well, to be honest, I think Shining would do great in Skyfall. Dasher, on the other hoof...
Dasher: Bite me, Fleety.
Fleethoof: 'Captain'. And I wouldn't mind what Shining wants to do. This sort of business has never really interested him though.
Shining: It's true. I relate better to the everyday Guard. I want to make the Royal Guard the best they can be, and I can only do that if I'm working hooves-on with them. Plus I don't think I could do what Fleetand the Sergeant do. It's a little too... sketchy and risky.
Dasher: What does he do?
Fleethoof and Shining: Classified.
*Dasher groans and slams her head against the table*
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Fleethoof: Shining's gonna have to answer that one. I'm ashamed to say, but I haven't seen her in a few months. I've been too busy with the Guard.
Shining: Cadence is doing fine. She's readjusting to stable life in Canterlot, now that she's not traveling for a while. She's taken up foalsitting again on the side to kill time, but she still stops by my office at the barracks to check up on me, see how Fleet is doing, and make sure I'm not running myself into the ground. Heh...
Canterlot is a great city! I grew up here and lived here my whole life, so I guess I can get kinda jaded with it sometimes, but it is really nice. We've got a lot of libraries and museums, nice restaurants and parks, and the ponies are nice enough. Some are a little stuck up, being the upper class and all. But crime is at an all-time low to the point of nonexistent and the weather's nice.
Fleethoof: Coming from Cloudsdale, Canterlot is like a fantasy kingdom. The castle is... damn, it still gets to me. It's a big arts and magic town, which was kinda strange to get accustomed to at first. But the architecture is incredible, almost renaissance-esque, unlike Cloudsdale's, and it's a rich, lush culture hub. There's a few nightclubs for just about every type of music, and every business wants its headquarters there. Basically, if you can get into Canterlot, you've got it made. I've been thinking about getting a new HQ for Skyfall out in the city proper, and maybe even a house of my own someday.
Cupcake: Canterlot is like maze made of buildings. It is massive. Coming from small Northern town, the city is like something out of foal's story book!
Dasher: This is only the second time I've ever been to Canterlot. The first time I was ever there was on a family trip when I was a little filly. The city was so... romantic. Like an old fairy tale kingdom out of a legend. It's a night and day difference from the Shades. A lot of Bat ponies don't like the contrast, but I think it's nice. I could see myself living there if I ever got a transfer to the Canterlot Division of the Lunar Guard.
*Fleethoof drops his gaze to the table, then back up again*
Fleethoof: The Griffon Kingdom was lovely. Picturesque, even. The only landmarks you can really tell all across the land is the mountain range around the continent. If I could get the chance to actually see the land again, without getting shot at... yeah, I probably would. I don't know how much is left of it after recent events though... One place I heard of from other soldiers was a lake to the northwest, with a waterfront town called Barton Hollow. They said it was one of the most breathtaking places there, set right on the water.
Dasher: Sounds gorgeous. Let's go sometime!
Fleethoof: Not you.
Dasher: Aww...
*Shining laughs*
Shining: Well, I actually got to see pretty much all of the Kingdom, since I stuck with the army. Asgard is a pretty major landmark, if you wanna call it that. A lot of the land is either low grasslands or hilly highlands. Not many landmarks to speak of. The griffons are roosting creatures. They keep all their achievements in their homes and cities.
[Part 1 of 2]
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Shining: Yeah, Fleet and I are really close. Going to war will do that! *Shining chuckles* But no, I haven't really introduced him to my family yet. He's always too busy doing whatever he does.
Fleethoof: I did see them at our promotion ceremony, but I haven't gotten to meet them yet. As soon as I get another breather, I promise I'll join you all for dinner.
Shining: I'll make sure they know you're my best friend, so there's no awkwardness or anything when I bring a strange stallion home. They are a little too open minded sometimes, heh.
Fleethoof: I'll tell them I'm your coltfriend and elaborate on all the nights we spent together.
Shining: You're awful. Don't make me get you.
Fleethoof: You can't. You put Dasher in between us now.
Dasher: Settle down, foals.
*Cupcake laughs heartily and smiles proudly*
Cupcake: I was recruited to Skyfall Team after service in Griffon War. Demolition ponies were new class of soldier years ago. Griffon War showed Equestria what we are capable of. Since I practice so much in training - mostly without permission - I know what to do better than most other little ponies. My size is good for carrying lots of explosives, so my boom is bigger than anypony else. The Princess Luna knows this, and she ask me to be part of special pony team that could use my talent. I say yes. Now I make explosions for Captain and comrades. They are most grateful.
Fleethoof: We are most grateful indeed. It definitely comes in handy!
Dasher: I have no idea what any of you ponies are talking about.
Fleethoof: And you probably never will.
Dasher: Careful, tiger. It's my turn to answer questions now! Ahem... *Dasher grins wickedly* Oh yes! Fleethoof is a big, cuddly teddy bear!
Fleethoof: I hate you.
Dasher: He's all kinds of soft and sweet, and he's really just a big softie. He smells great too!
Fleethoof: I'll get you, and I'll make it look like an accident.
Dasher: You know, it's not polite to interrupt. Now, where was I? Oh, my home. The Hollow Shades is a large... I guess you'd call it Gothic-style town in the forest between Manehattan and Canterlot. It's dark and cool most of the time, which is perfect for us Bat ponies. Harsh lights hurt our eyes, and we see better in the dark anyway. A lot of our population stays in the Shades - like, a LOT a lot - mostly because we still get a bad rep for our history with Nightmare Moon and stuff like that. Just because we're Lunar Guards doesn't make us evil though. We're just so misunderstood.
Fleethoof: Hardly...
*Dasher kicks a leg out from underneath Fleethoof's chair; Fleethoof topples to the floor with a clatter; Shining and Cupcake burst into laughter*
Dasher: I haven't been to Cloudsdale yet, but you know I'd love to go! A lot of Pegasi still give us Bats weird looks. I think it's the wings. I've never seen the Wonderbolts perform either, so I think that'd be a great all-in-one vacation bundle for the future!
Fleethoof *from the floor*: You broke my chair!
Dasher: And lastly, I wasn't in the Guard when the war took place. I had just signed up for enlistment into basic training when the war started, and I didn't graduate until well after the war ended. Plus the Nightwatch was deemed unfit for service in the Griffon Kingdom. I don't know what that was all about, but it got me pretty steamed. I guess they thought we'd do better defending Equestria if the griffons ever pushed back, or something... It still bugs me.
Fleethoof: Maybe they didn't trust you because you do things like friendly fire, or kick chairs out from ponies?
*Dasher pops open a bottle of water and knocks it off the edge of the table onto Fleethoof, soaking him*
Fleethoof: You are fifty shades of horrible...
[Part 2 of 2]
1108349 Honestly Fleethoof you need to be more careful! First you're falling over and breaking chairs and then you're knocking bottles of water over! Thanks for your answers! I'll let you answer a few other people... err ponies... before asking some more questions.
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*Fleethoof and Shining both drop behind the table when Silver drops, reaching for their pistols; both relax when they see the two ponies; Dasher looks at the two stallions and giggles*
Dasher: Wow, you two are jumpy.
Shining: It's reflex.
Dasher: You need to chill. Hi Blaze, hi Thunder Coy!
Shining: Huh, good question, colts. I guess besides Fleet, my parents, sister, and Cadence are at the top of the list. Of course Princess Celestia and Luna are two ponies I'd die for as well. All of my soldiers count too, but those seven ponies are the ones I'd take a bullet for.
Fleethoof: I'd die for you too, my friend.
Shining: The Royal Guard doesn't require mandatory service, but eligible ponies can be conscripted and drafted if Equestria is in a state of war and we need the numbers. That hasn't happened in centuries though, and it wasn't even a thought in The Griffon War. We had the griffons severely outnumbered. I joined purely out of patriotism and following in my family's hoofsteps. My dad was in the Guard, and I wanted to be too. It was better than some mundane job around Canterlot. I mean, can you see me working in a library or something! I'm not my sister, haha!
Fleethoof: I was the same. I joined to follow my mother's example, and because... well, I really had no other direction in life, and I was a bit of a renegade.
Dasher: I just wanted to kill somepony.
*Everypony turns to stare at Dasher*
Dasher: That was a joke! Come on!
Cupcake: I join Royal Guard to escape from boring bakery life. I needed excitement and to feel I was doing something worthwhile. And also to spite parents.
Shining: Oh boy... Let me see if I can paint a picture for ya. Being Captain is tough as it is, having to deal with a company of soldiers, knowing that every decision you make will reflect on everypony and impact their lives. You are literally governing dozens of living, breathing things, and you are responsible for them. Now, take that and multiply it by, like, a hundred. That's what being Captain of the Guard is like. I'm responsible for all of Canterlot's force, plus what goes on all across Equestria, and what happens at our foreign outposts and bases. I tell ya, I'll probably be going gray before I'm halfway through my life.
Fleethoof: And that is why I opted out of the traditional Captain route. I like my blonde mane too much to let it go gray.
Dasher: I like your blonde mane too, especially now that it's dripping wet again.
Fleethoof: That reminds me...
*Fleethoof swings a leg out from his position on the floor, knocking Dasher's chair out from under her; Dasher crumples to the floor with a cry of surprise*
Dasher: Oh, it's on, Pegasus!
*Dasher leaps on the downed Fleethoof; both ponies grapple and struggle about on the floor*
Shining: Uh, Fleet... Question for ya.
Fleethoof: Grrrr... Kinda busy, hang on...! My best advice to go up the ranks - grrrr, stop it! - would be to keep at it... Push your limits and test yourself... Don't ever accept anything as good enough - always go for better... And if you see an opportunity - damnit, Dasher - take it!
*Fleethoof slips a hoof free from the struggle and lands a blow on Dasher's side; Dasher recoils, allowing Fleethoof to get his legs beneath her and kick her off*
Fleethoof: Like that. I can empathize with your speed over strength approach. I fight that way too. Ponies like Cupcake go for the one hit knockout, but I can't pull that off. I rely on balance, agility, and defense. My main body of fighting is counters and dodges. If I can put an opponent off-guard and off-balance, then I can take them down easily. What you should look into are a pony's - or any creature's - pressure points. Memorize them. Learn ways to get to them fast, so as soon as the fight starts, you can paralyze a leg, disorient them, and take them down fast. Under the jaw is a good basic one for ponies, as well as the base of the horn for Unicorns and between the wings for Pegasi. I think I can work out giving you guys some of the basic hoof-to-hoof combat we teach the Guard to help you out. Don't wanna be left defenseless if an enemy gets within three feet of you, right?
Dasher: Or you could just always aim for the groin. That'd work on one out of two genders you fight.
*Fleethoof groans; Shining laughs*
Shining: And in comes the Nightwatch, with the dirty fighting moves!
Fleethoof: For Coy's question, first I'd like to say thanks. Second, we have been experimenting with expanding our roster with another team, but... that hasn't been going so well. We might bring more ponies into Skyfall itself over time, depending on the need and if anypony shows true merit, but for right now, we seem to be doing just fine. Our boss doesn't see a need for expansion quite yet, so I leave it be. If we do expand, we'll probably look to double our numbers each time.
Republican Strike Commandoes? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the unit, so no, we haven't fought beside them yet. They sound intriguing though. I'd like to know what they're all about.
[Part 1 of 2]
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Dasher: Yay, my turn again! You know, you're not the first ponies to ask about my wings. Since coming back to Canterlot, I get that a lot. Okay, basic biology time! Bat pony wings are developed like this because of the environment we live in. These wings allow us to move through the air more powerfully, so we can fly against stronger winds or headfirst into enemies harder than Pegasi can. However, we trade that off for speed and agility, but I mean, come on, when you're flying through a forest, you're really not gonna want to be going at a wingpower rate of mach 2.
Fleethoof: This is especially helpful for when I need to outfly her.
Dasher: But it'll hurt like hay when I finally crash into you.
Fleethoof: I like how you said 'crash' instead of 'catch'. That really speaks a lot about your flying.
Dasher: Hush, you. Our wings are also surprisingly good in water. Being made of a solid physical membrane instead of feathers that can separate, they work sort of like paddles to propel us through water. Jealous, Fleety?
Fleethoof: Green with envy.
Dasher: Ah, the Marines... They're doing really well! They actually treat me like a pony instead of some sort of lingering threat or leper. They trust me - I guess because I'm actually doing the work alongside them. There's a sort of mutual respect there. I like hanging out with them. Yeah, they're like our shock troopers. The regular Guard are the frontline infantry in a war, the main body of the force, but the Marines will be the ones to smash your door in first, slam your face into the ground, and yell, "SURPRISE, MOTHERBUCKER!! THIS IS EQUESTRIA!!"
*Shining and Cupcake burst into riotous laughter*
Fleethoof: Colorful... Dear Celestia, I've created a monster...
Dasher: Honestly, I hope I'm there when they get their first deployment. I'd love to see those ponies in action.
*Dasher pauses to read Coy's sign, then giggles and gives him a flirty wink and grin*
Dasher: Now that's a bit of a jump there. Are you sure your name is Coy and not Smooth? Take me on a date first, big colt, and let's see if you can keep up with me. And sorry to disappoint, but no sister in my family. I'm a one of a kind - even better in some regards.
Shining: You're gonna make that poor colt need a cold shower when we're done here.
*Dasher giggles and gets back in her chair*
Fleethoof: Cupcake, please answer the questions so we can get past this before this panel becomes NSFW.
Cupcake: Da, Captain! Hello, little ponies! In answer of first question, I will not answer with words - I will show!
*Cupcake lifts his machine gun out from under the table and slams it down; Shining and Dasher recoil slightly; Fleethoof facehoofs*
Fleethoof: You brought it with you to a Q&A panel? Are you serious?
Cupcake: This is my gun. She shoots over 800 rounds per minute. Her bullet will knock anypony to ground in a second. Belt fed ammunition keeps her full and angry. Only way she could be better is if she had no end to ammo. When ponies hear her roar, they cry to their mothers.
Shining: Okay, they've seen it, now put it away, Sergeant...
*Cupcake grumbles and lowers the gun out of sight*
Cupcake: Fine... I talk about explosion now anyway. My favorite explosion is the one that cause most damage. Satchel charges are best for making buildings disappear. Quarter Master is smart pony, and has developed all size charges to work on anything from a door to an entire building. Hoof grenades are like throwing rocks at ponies, except they go boom instead of fall down.
Fleethoof: I hate hoof grenades...
Cupcake: Work with Skyfall is like dream job. It is what I love, because I do what I love. I get no odd looks from comrades in Skyfall. I get no judgmental stares or talk behind back. In the Guard, fellow soldiers fear me. They say I am mentally unstable. They may be right... but Skyfall does not judge. They embrace. They do not say, "No, Cupcake, do not play with grenades." Captain Fleethoof say, "Cupcake, see door? Make it disappear." I love the Captain, and I love my comrades, because they love me.
Dasher: Awww, see? Fleethoof is a big sweetheart.
*Fleethoof grumbles incoherently*
Cupcake: Last question to pony with no voice: I will not bake you into cupcakes! HA! What sort of sick pony would do that? Is pure fiction! I will tell you about toughest opponent though. One was in Griffon War. When we took Asgard, there were no basic soldiers left; only the elite guards. Those birds were strong, like me. When in the citadel, I breached a door, and a griffon comes running out and grabs me by neck. He starts choking with one arm, and shooting my comrades with free claw. I struggle for a while, and hit griffon in stomach and throat. He fall back, and I pry gun from his claw. We fight with hooves and fists for a while until I grab griffon's wing and snap it like twig. Then I push griffon out of nearby window. He screamed and fell to the ground below, flapping flimsy wing like baby till he died.
My second toughest fight was with Sergeant Sharp Shot. Da, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, 'Cupcake having difficulty with tiny pony like Sharp Shot?' but let me explain. Sharp Shot has fighting style that is very, very fast. Being sniper, he must be quick and strong in close battle. When we spar, he is always dancing around, dodging attacks and landing hard, blind shots around the stomach and chest. He is hard to hit, and after a while, his attacks start to hurt and leave bruises. I learn to counter him by moving opposite of him, and my hooves find him. He goes down in only couple of hits, but he is a worthy opponent in the ring.
*Dasher turns to Fleethoof*
Dasher: Is he the one who clocked me when we were sparring?
Fleethoof: Yes, that was Sharp.
Dasher: Oh yeah, he hurts.
*Dasher whistles to Coy, laughing and running her tongue across her lips as she waves goodbye*
Dasher: Don't be a stranger, cutie! I'll be here for a while!
Fleethoof: I'm embarrassed for you.
Dasher: You know, I think you might be the only stallion at this table with no testosterone in their blood.
Shining: Um, what do we do with the unconscious one?
*Nopony answers, staring at Silver*
[Part 2 of 2]
Sorry I jumped the gun on my stuff...
Well I'm back, just like I said I would be. So as promised I have more questions.
I'll start with Cupcake this time.
So Cupcake, what did you do in between working for the royal guard and working as a "cook" for your parents? Or did you just work your parents and then go straight to the guard?
How long had you been apart of the guard before the Griffin War started?
Right, your turn Shining! Same question for you! What did you do as a kid/young adult before joining the guard?
Have you ever thought about getting dogs for the royal guard? And I don't mean "Awww what a cute dog!" but I mean dogs that can add something to the guard. Twilight's friend, Applejack, has a dog who helps with herding and I'm sure Equestira has other breeds of dogs that could be trained to be helpful to the guard.
Can you explain the royal guard's ranks to me please? It's a little odd for me to think of a Captain as the highest rank. In my mind when I think of a pony in the military that's in charge I'll think of a Field Marshal on the top of the pile with Captains farther down. Does Equestira even have Field Marshals?
And finally... any mares you've got your eye on? Eh? EH? EHHHHH? ...or are you just going to finally confess your true love for Fleethoof and finally ask him out?
Now Fleethoof's turn. Same question regarding what you did as a child/young adult. Can you explain how weather works in Equestira? How much control do pegasus have over it and how much of it is "wild"?
Also have you ever thought about going to the outskirts of the Everfree Forest for training in thick foliage or is it considered too dangerous? And if it is what in particular makes it so dangerous?
And now Dasher! ...do you mind if I call you Dasher?
Uh, same question for the growing up bit. Ummmm... you also strike me as someone who would like animals. Do you? Or am I just crazy? Now you mentioned how Bat ponies have a bad rep because of Nightmare Moon... would you care to go into further detail about this? Also I've always assumed that Bat ponies have the same cloud walking and weather manipulation that pegasus have... is this true? Oh! And you said Bat ponies are powerful swimmers because of your wings, yes? Do you LIKE to swim at all?
Now while I was asking each of you those more selective questions I have some broad general questions for everypony.
This is a pretty basic one: if you could travel anywhere in the world, and not get killed from anything (disease, bullets, poison, you name it... actually old age doesn't count) where would you go?
You're all military ponies, but everyone generally has something that they do in their off hours as a hobby. What are yours?
Oh! Shining, Fleethoof! ...sooooo did Cadance like your Hearts and Hooves Day letters?
Right, I think I'll step back again for anyone else that wants to step up and ask some question... oh and Dasher if you ever want to gossip about the captains behind their back, or in front of really, hit me up!
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AAAHHHH! My head! What happened? It hurts, and its not the good kind!
...Did all of you just leave me here?! What is the matter with you ponies?! I mean honestly! Can you just have enough decency to-
*whap*
*Silverstein went down again, Coy carrying a frying pan in his mouth this time*
*Blaze frowned at the body*
"Is his head bleeding? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I just witnessed a murder this time...where do you get all these items, Coy?"
*Thunder Coy shrugged innocently*
"Well, I suppose he deserved it. I mean, thinking of killing me in DoR? Really?"
*Coy nodded happily in agreement, spitting out the frying pan*
"Hey guys, its Blaze and Coy again. We're back from lunch, and lemme say that you Equis can cook! Anyway, before I ask any questions, I'll answer one for you. The Republican Strike Commandos are Karalian Special Forces. They are multi-role but they specialize in anti-guerrilla and anti-changeling tactics. You need to sniff out and snuff out changelings? Call these guys! They can fight enemy soldiers and operatives but that's what we have the Coldstream Guards and Regulars for. I've talked to a few of them, they seem pretty cool, but a lot of them are pessimistic though."
*Coy nodded in agreement, hissing threateningly at the mention of changelings*
"As you can see, Karalia hates its changelings."
"Anyway, for Shining Armor! Do you ever have bad run-ins with the Equestrian media? Have they tried to slander you or falsely show you or your organization in a bad light before? If so, how do you deal with it?"
"Batter up, Coy."
*The unicorn held a stack of signs in his mouth, like before, the first one on top*
"How many of those cheese-legged monstrosities have you beaten senselessly over the years? When you find another, call me over. We can bond."
*Coy growled from behind his signs*
"Whoa, Coy. I don't think that was necessary. I hate changelings too, but hey man..."
"So Fleethoof! Thanks for the offer, we'll set up a date for that training! In return, I'll teach you some swordplay so you can impress the ladies! How does that sound? The Karalian Officer Corps gets stuffier and more elitist the higher we go. Is the Equestrian Officer Corps the same way? Do you guys have a foreign legion? I'd like to serve with you! Get away from Karalia for a while. I swear, I love my country and all but it gets depressing sometimes."
*Coy let a sign clatter to the floor*
"I've been following your story for a long time, so you can say that I'm a bit of a fan. Does Skyfall's fame attract...undesirable attention? You guys are awesome but I fear that you have marked yourselves as targets in the future. How do you plan to deal with that?"
"Well those questions were better than mine. Anyway, Dasher! Bat ponies seem pretty unique! Now, do how do your eyes react to sunlight? Is it bad or just a minor annoyance? Also, Do you have any other quirks about your species that you'd like to share? What is a bat pony's fighting style usually consist of?"
*Coy dropped a sign, Blaze staring warily at him*
"Don't do anything you'll regret, Coy. Ya hear?"
"Have you ever tasted Karalian before?"
*Another sign fell*
"Do you want to?"
"Dear Luna, Coy! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth!? I'm sorry guys, he usually isn't like this."
*Coy stomped his hooves happily, eyes closed in content*
"Let's get back on track, shall we? Cupcake! That was really touching what you said last time. Now, as a demolitions expert, do you ever have to deal with faulty fuses or charges? When you do, how do you work around the problem? Does your minigun ever jam?"
*Coy dropped a sign*
"Thank you for not eating me, I was worried for a bit. Are you able to move around quickly packing all that equipment, or does it just not matter? Do you like your accent? Would you change it if you could? What to, if you did? I mean, I've been told that I have a little bit of a Braytish accent but I don't like to speak a lot, obviously. I sound ridiculous, when I do."
"He hasn't said a word in three years...that's how self-conscious he is. The last time he spoke, it was: 'Die you fucking cheese-legged wanker!' That's when he was pumping bullets into a changeling at point-blank range. Almost pissed myself when I heard his voice. Hasn't said a word since."
*Coy smiled innocently at the Panelists*
"One more question, and this is from both of us to all of you. How do you guys deal with being shelled by howitzers? Artillery bursting over our heads 24/7 isn't fun. It bugs us a lot so we were hoping you guys would have some coping method. What coping methods do you have for anything like that?"
"Thanks again guys! We're turning in for the night."
*Coy trotted up to the window and began to lick it rapidly and profusely, doing his best to seduce Midnight. He stared intensely at her as he did so*
"Th...That is not appropriate! Stop it! Stop it you!"
*Blaze pulls Coy from window*
"Uh...sorry you had to see that."
*Blaze looked down to Silver and kicked his arm...no response*
"Yeah, I don't think he's breathing. You guys should probably clean this up before somepony gets arrested for murder...bye now!"
*Both ponies galloped away*
*A janitor pony sweeps Silver's body away with a push broom, distracted and whistling to the music in his headphones*
Silver out!
ZZz-snuha TWENTY TWO!! ...oh... err... this isn't Theatre Li-errr... never mind.
Uh... *Treil trails off as he watches the two ponies ask their questions and Coy's... "seduction attempts."*
Oh come one! What is he... oh come on! Seduction and flirting is an ART! AN ART I TELL YOU! It's about subtly! You can't just charge ahead blindly like that... now see if I was going to flirt with Dasher I'd start by-uhhhh... never mind. I think I'll just stop talking now...
Uh, SOOooo Dasher... have you meet Cadance yet? Any great pastry shops that you like in Canterlot? Have you ever been to the Grand Galloping Galla? ...that's still a thing right? Also do you know how to dance? Where'd you learn to dance? Do you like to dance? Any cutie mares you'd recommend to a stallion? Besides yourself I mean.
Shining where did you train before the war? So do YOU dance? As a captain of the guard do you have to attend the Grand Galloping Galla? What's the greatest perk of being a captain? What time do you have to get up to get to work?
Alright Fleethoof, what about you? Dancing? And what time do you have to get up for work? How's your wing doing? Have you been listening to the doctor or have you being ignoring him? ...Dasher try and make sure Fleetohoof doesn't do anything stupid like further injure his wing? Please?
Oh and Cupcake! Can you describe your ideal weapon? It can do whatever you want... so describe away!
Oh! Cutie mark stories! So you all have them. How'd you get 'em?
And uuh... I guess that's it for now. Thanks for taking the time to listen to our questions and answer them!
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Cupcake: There was no in between. I went from baker to soldier. It was very quick, for good reason... I had been in the Guard for two years when Griffon War started. I was part of 2nd Company out of Manehattan back then.
Shining: I joined the Guard right out of school. I always knew I wanted to be a Royal Guard. I had been a year out of basic when the war started. That was my first taste of real battle. Before the Guard, I played varsity hoofball and joined the Canterlot JROTC. Yeah, I know, real jock type stuff, but it helped when it came time to go off to basic. Man, they work you over good in there.
Dogs, huh? Now that you mention it, that would be a good idea to try out. A lot of dogs are kept as domestic pets, or used for herding and things like that. Never heard of attack dogs before, but I'm sure there's gotta be a way to train them to do stuff like that.
Oh boy, Equestria's ranks in a nutshell. Okay, first, let me start by specifying a little bit here: each part of Equestria's armed forces has their own chain of command which we recently reformed. For the Royal Guard and all divisions therein, it starts with Recruit and goes to Private when they get out of basic training. From there, they go to Private First Class, then to Corporal. Next comes Sergeant, then Gunnery Sergeant, and Lieutenant. Then comes Captain, Commander, and Captain of the Guard way up at the top. Since we implemented new and restored ranks, there are fewer of certain positions, and nopony's reached the rank of Commander yet. All in all, there are nine enlisted and CO ranks. So we don't have Field Marshals or Generals in that regard, since we compress our higher ranks down until it's just the Captain of the Guard at the top.
Our navy and air force have a slightly different order of rank. The navy follows close to the Guard's format, but they use Ensign and Ensign First Class instead of Privates, and Admirals instead of Captains. We currently only have one Admiral in our force. The air force uses Airpony and Airpony First Class in place of Privates, and Staff Sergeants. The Wonderbolts also have two ranks all their own: Second Lieutenant and First Lieutenant, reserved for the two commanding officers of the Wonderbolt division. They equal the same as the Lieutenant rank.
W-Whoa, mares?! Slow down a moment! I'm not gonna out anypony in public like that! I mean, maybe there is a nice mare I've been trying to get the attention of, but that's between me and her. If I'm gonna make a move, I'm gonna let it come naturally and be smooth about it, not announce it to a crowd waaay before hoof.
Fleethoof: So you're not gonna get down and propose to me? You're breaking my heart, Shiny.
Shining: Well, maybe if you were home more, I might think we actually have something.
Fleethoof: Baby, don't be like that.
Dasher: And you call me inappropriate? That was adorable.
Fleethoof: Oh boy, now we get to talk about me, because Celestia knows poor little Fleethoof has such a twisted, dark history. When I was a colt going through flight school in Cloudsdale, I spent most of my time... well, getting into trouble. It wasn't really my fault, though. I got picked on in school by some of the sportier ponies, the better fliers, et cetera. So my free time usually consisted of getting into fights, trying to run away from fights, and mentally trying to get away. I got an internship at the weather factory with the school, and it was the most boring thing in the world. Cloudsdale's a great city, and it'll always be my home, but I knew if I could get out of there, I would. So I enlisted in the Guard the moment I got my diploma in hoof.
Dasher: So you weren't a high school drop out? Funny, you never struck me as the school type.
Fleethoof: I wasn't, but Royal Guard registration requires all Pegasi to pass a flight test, which is pretty hard to do if you drop out of flight school.
Dasher: Fair enough.
Fleethoof: It did give me a basic understanding of weather, though, so I think I can vaguely answer your next question. All the weather for Equestria is planned and produced at the weather factory in Cloudsdale. Pegasus ponies hoofcraft every cloud, snowflake, rainbow, you name it. Then they are stored away in a weather vault until they are needed. Then the weather, be it rain or snow or whatever, is shipped out by Pegasi to its destination. Weather teams down in the towns receive it from Cloudsdale and manipulate it to whatever weather is forecasted for that time. Rainclouds, for example, are pushed together to blanket a sky, and are then 'activated' by a good buck from a Pegasus. We do get the occasional rogue wild weather from beyond our borders, but Cloudsdale has a flight team set up to intercept and handle these stormfronts if they cross our borders at inconvenient times.
*Fleethoof's eyes darken and he heaves a sigh*
The Everfree Forest... Oh boy, let me tell you, I don't know what it is about that place that gives ponies the creeps, but it's something else. I know a lot of the Guard won't even set hoof in there because of these myths and stories. Even Sharp Shot is superstitious about that woods. Training would be a great practice of our skills, but because it has such an unearthly feel to it, and since 1/6 of our team won't go in, we can't really do anything. I respect Sharp Shot's beliefs too much to pressure him to do something he's that uncomfortable with.
Dasher: What a baby.
Fleethoof: That 'baby' knocked you flat on your back with one punch.
Dasher: He caught me off guard! Gimme a break!
Fleethoof: The Everfree Forest isn't... well, I don't really know if it's all that dangerous or not. I've never been in. I have no idea what is in there. But I know the stories. Stories of timber wolves as large as trees, creatures so twisted and deformed by dark magic that feed on pony flesh, and unnatural forces at work. But my personal favorite is this tall tale of a legend about a village of ponies hidden deep away in the forest, who are actually some sort of unholy creatures with no Cutie Marks. They prey on foals, taking them away from their families before they can turn, and killing anypony with a Cutie Mark in cold blood. Talk about a Nightmare Night story! Hahaha!
[Part 1 of 2]
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Dasher: Oh, I don't mind what you call me. I've been called much worse.
Fleethoof: No, really? A sweet mare like yourself? I don't believe that!
Dasher: In your own eloquent words, Captain, "Buck off". Hmm, I'm not really sure what to say about my foalhood - mostly because it feels sort of sad compared to everypony else's... well, maybe not Fleethoof's. His is pretty pathetic.
Fleethoof: Buck you too, Corporal.
Dasher: My father wasn't around, and mother was very protective. The Shades can be a pretty tough place to grow up in. Your value is determined by your strength and skill to deceive, so I learned to fight and to lie pretty quickly. It's a rough life, but you adapt to defending yourself in the inevitable scuffles at school, learn to get whatever you want with a silver tongue, and do whatever you have to just to get through the day. I loved flying through the woods around the Shades as a little filly. It just felt so... liberating. It was great! I ended up joining the Lunar Guard because I was bored and had no other idea what I wanted to do with my life. I figured I could probably hold my own, so why the hay not?
Awww, animals! I love the little critters of the woods! My favorite were the owls. My friends - the few I had - and I would sit out at nights and just listen to them. Sometimes we'd hoot back, and confuse them. We'd fly in circles around the trees they'd roost in and make their heads keep turning round and round. Hahahaha!
Fleethoof: What is wrong with you...?
Shining: That sounds hilarious!
Dasher: Um... well, I'm sort of surprised you don't know the whole story about the Lunar Guards and Nightmare Moon. It seemed like everypony knew, and was holding a grudge. Anyway, ahem... A thousand years ago, when Nightmare Moon came to be and the war between her and Celestia tore across Equestria, the Royal Guard was divided in two. There were those who supported Celestia: the Solar Vanguard, and those who sided with Nightmare Moon: the Lunar Guard. The Lunar Guard believed that if Nightmare Moon could ascend to the throne, her anger and bitterness would fade to regret, and then they could balance out the power with Celestia. But Celestia defeated Nightmare Moon with the Elements of Harmony, and sealed her away for a millenia. The Lunar Guard were seen as traitors; treasonous backstabbers who had turned against Equestria. At least that's the way history remembers us, since Celestia's side won. Even now, a thousand years later, a lot of ponies still don't trust us, and act like we're terrorists about to start a coup. Even some of the Royal Guard looks down on us. That's why we keep to ourselves in the Shades. Even our headquarters is there. Nopony outside the city walls likes us anyway...
Shining: I do, and the Marines do.
Cupcake: I trust creepy Bat pony.
Dasher: Thanks. You're the minority.
*Shining and Cupcake stare at Fleethoof; Fleethoof shakes his head vigorously*
Fleethoof: Oh no. You two leave me out of this one.
Dasher: Anyway... Yes, we have the same innate abilities that Pegasi have. We just don't manufacture the weather. We can still manipulate it though, which is pretty fun when you're chasing down a bigoted Guard with a thundercloud.
*Dasher grins playfully*
Dasher: Or maybe a grumpy Captain...
Fleethoof: There's one difference between me and that soldier. I shoot back.
Dasher: Fine! *Dasher huffs, then perks up again* I LOVE WATER!! Swimming is just... Oh, it's fantastic! It's a lot like flying, but with more resistance and less gravity. The Shades has a lot of ponds and underground reservoirs we like to swim in, and it's in close proximity to a river and Neighagra Falls. Water is a big part of our lifestyle.
Shining: Alright, general question time! Let's see... If I could go anywhere and not die, where would I go...? You know, as much as I dislike the population, I'd really like to see Learsi. Ya know, just to see how it's getting along. My hobbies include playing hoofball with my friends in the Guard, hanging out down at The Cannon with them, spending time with my family... I've got a stack of books Twilight's been sending me that I've been meaning to look into.
Fleethoof: Being in the line fo work I am, there's really not a lot of places I haven't been to yet. Learsi and Tail Aviv are on the list, but like Shining, I don't know if I could go there just because of the inhabitants. Definitely not Zavros. Buck Zavros to Tartarus. I guess I'd like to see the rest of the Griffon Kingdom and Barton Hollow if I ever get the chance to go back there. My hobbies include reading, shooting at the range, relaxing in one of Canterlot's gardens or up on a cloud, and just generally wasting time.
Cupcake: No place hot. Hot and I do not get along. I will say Trottingham. Ponies say many nice things about Trottingham. I like to play any sport with fellow soldiers when off duty, and visit beaches. I like the ocean.
Dasher: Anywhere. Everywhere. I don't get to do a lot of traveling, so even coming to Canterlot was exciting for me. The idea of seeing any place in the wide world is just... ugh! I'd kill for that chance!
*Fleethoof, Shining, and Cupcake begin to slowly duck down under the table*
Dasher: Figure of speech! And my hobbies include pranking, taking photos, and flirting with unwitting guards just to watch them blush and stutter, then taking them down in sparring matches.
Fleethoof: Is that really even a hobby?
Dasher: It's more like an art the way I do it.
Fleethoof: Charming...
Shining: Now I know why so many of my guards are afraid to be around you!
*Fleethoof and Shining look up in surprise; Shining's brow furrows in confusion; Fleethoof's pupils shrink in horror*
Shining: Letter? What letter? Fleet, what is he- Fleet...?
*Fleethoof stands up and walks away from the panel, face flushed; Dasher bursts out in laughter*
Dasher: I think you broke him! Way to go, Treilacl! *Dasher applauds*
[Part 2 of 2]
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*Shining stares in a mixture of shock and horror at Silver's murder; Dasher covers her mouth with a hoof, trying to keep from laughing; Cupcake lets out one loud laugh before realizing nopony else is laughing*
Shining: I... did not realize you were so... specialized... Did you really just kill him?
Dasher: Don't answer questions with questions; that's just rude.
Shining: But he-
Dasher: Answer the nice stallions' questions, Captain. Be polite.
*Shining stares in disbelief before throwing his hooves up in surrender*
Shining: Okay, so we're all gonna ignore the blatant disregard for natural law, Celestia forbid it interrupts the Panel! What was your question again? Oh yeah, the media. The worst we ever had was when we returned from the Griffon Kingdom. A lot of the media praised us, but there was some bad press. They called us murderers and warmongers, saying we slaughtered a race that was defending its rights. I swear, free speech cuts both ways... I had to release a statement after my promotion detailing the war and what really happened. It wasn't pleasant, but it shut the press up. Then the whole mess in Canterlot started, and once it was revealed, the press ate that up too. Thankfully, they only got the tail end of it when Fleethoof and his team cleaned it up, so we had one issue of pandemonium, and then about three or four hailing the Guard as heroes.
*Shining reads the sign, scratching his head in confusion*
Shining: Changelings...? I thought those things were just a myth? Karalia is dealing with them. Huh... No, we haven't had any run-ins with Changelings in Equestria in hundreds of years. I thought they were all extinct.
Dasher: What's a Changeling?
Shining: Don't worry about it.
*The Panel turns to stare off in the direction Fleethoof left in*
Shining: HEY, FLEET!! YOU GOT MORE QUESTIONS HERE!!
*No response from Fleethoof*
Dasher: I've got this.
*Dasher leaves the Panel table, disappearing out of sight; a scuffle is heard, and Dasher returns dragging a struggling Fleethoof by his tail*
Fleethoof: No! No, I'm done! Let go of me!
Dasher: Nmpht tmmf oogh anfphew dif queftium! (Translation: Not till you answer this question!)
*Dasher releases Fleethoof back at the table and points to the two ponies*
Dasher: Now stop sulking and play nice!
Fleethoof: Alright, alright... Learning sword techniques does sound pretty cool... You never know when your gun might jam, and a sword might be nearby... Alright, it's a deal. The Equestrian Officers League isn't really that bad. A lot of us, like Shining and Stratagem, are still very in touch with our roots and relate back to the soldiers, so we act like we're still infantry, even though we have more responsibility. But we have some, like First Lieutenant Spitfire and Admiral Intrepid who adhere to the 'officers must be dignified and in charge' persona. Both ways have their pros and cons, I suppose. I prefer to lead by example and be one of the stallions on the ground, so to speak.
Equestria actually does have a military presence in other foreign countries. We have two Forward Operating Bases in Saddle Arabia and Learsi respectively, and an outpost in The Frozen North.
Shining: Don't forget about Fort Fetlock in Zavros.
Fleethoof: I deliberately try to forget about that one.
*Fleethoof and Shining laugh*
Fleethoof: Well, let me be the first to say thanks for all your support! That was always the first concern we had with running Project: Skyfall, was how do we deal with the recognition? The answer is simple...
*Fleethoof draws his pistol, Nightingale, and places it on the table; Cupcake lifts his machine gun and sets it on the table also*
Fleethoof: We use these. It's the nature of the job. Ponies and creatures alike will come to kill us. We're going to kill them first.
Dasher: Okay, this is really bugging me now. You do... what exactly?
Fleethoof: I'm an interior designer.
Cupcake: And I am baker.
*Dasher deadpan laughs*
Dasher: You're both hilarious...
Fleethoof: You're up, princess...
Dasher: Oh! Well, you're right, Bat pony eyes are extremely sensitive to light. It allows us to see almost perfectly in pitch black or at night, which is why we make such good Lunar Guards. In sunlight, however... Imagine it like staring at a bright light for a long time. Your vision becomes a little blurred, and everything looks a shade or two too bright. That's what it's like. The brighter the light, the worse the effect. That's why the Shades is covered by the woods. It's especially bad in the morning. It's bearable, but uncomfortable to be dealing with. That's why I hated getting up early for morning marches and exercise. Sunglasses help.
Hmm, quirks... You know about our eyes, wings, and fangs... *Dasher runs her tongue over her fangs again* Our diet is pretty much strictly fruit. Our hearing is actually acutely better than anypony else's, to the point where we can use echo-location if we have to. Oh, and an oddity about us, is we have an exceptionally difficult time conceiving foals.
*Fleethoof spits out the mouthful of water he'd taken from his bottle; Shining's ears twitch and cocks his head; Cupcake fumbled and dropped the bullet he had been turning over in his hooves*
Fleethoof: Midnight!!
Dasher: What? He asked! I don't know why - it's probably genetics, or something - but Bat pony mares have a lower conception rate than Earth, Unicorn, and Pegasi mares.
Shining: This panel is soooo borderline NSFW.
Fleethoof: Dasher, I think that's-
Dasher: Which is perfectly fine. I mean, we're not infertile or anything, so that just means our partners get to enjoy more-
Fleethoof: Stop!! Just stop!
Shining: *Shining facehoofs* We are so gonna get censored...
Fleethoof: Next question! Next question! Talk about the fighting styles, for the love of Celestia!
Dasher: You are both such prudes, you know that? Jeez... like hanging out with a bunch of foals! Anyway, Bat ponies aren't exactly taught any rigid form of fighting unless they enlist in the Guard. Fighting in the Shades is usually street rules style drunken boxing. If you can swing your hoof, it doesn't matter what techniques you use. When you get to the Guard, they teach you about the pressure points on ponies, different submission techniques, and moves to disarm an opponent. It's sort of like Fleethoof's style of fighting, with a lot of counterattacks, but with an equal balance of offensive moves too. Strict defense isn't something Bat ponies consider a reliable thing to use in fights.
*Dasher read's Coy's sign and giggles, clapping her hooves together*
Dasher: Oh, I like this one. He's bold.
Fleethoof: He's going to get us shut down...
Dasher: No he's not. This is an 'anything goes' panel! I'll tell you what, Mister Smooth... *Dasher leans across the table, batting her eyes at him* You come to the Shades sometime, and maybe I'll give you a tour of the sights...
Fleethoof: Cupcake, get us out of this smutty territory.
Cupcake: Da, Captain!
Dasher: Party pooper...
Cupcake: The only time I have bad charges was back in Griffon War. Charges were still new, so we would have to drop and run and hope for kaboom. If no explosion, then I went back to shooting gunpowder method. Works like a charm, haha! My gun? She had only one jam, back in training. I was still getting used to her, and had not oiled her enough. It takes long time to unjam this gun. A jam in the field with this could be dangerous, especially for comrades. I cannot allow that to happen, so I must maintain her as often as possible.
*Cupcake reads the sign and laughs heartily, slamming his hooves on the table*
Cupcake: Silent pony makes me laugh! Carrying much equipment means I must move slower. I may be strong, but I am only pony. I usually cover rear of the team when we move, since I lag behind. Lightning Flash usually sticks with me at back, and we watch rear while following the rest of the team. Niet, I would not change accent. My voice is part of being me. Many ponies know this, and they accept. Some ponies laugh at my voice. I laugh at their broken noses and black eyes. Hahaha!
*Fleethoof, Dasher, and Shining stare with wide, shocked eyes at the two ponies*
Fleethoof: My recommendation? Get the buck out of the way.
Dasher: What he said. Or invest in some good earmuffs and thick walls.
Shining: Maybe try to stop the howitzers? Solve the problem rather than ignore it?
Cupcake: Shoot howitzers back at them.
*Dasher laughs and Fleethoof groans at Coy's display*
Dasher: Bye bye! Don't be strangers now!
Fleethoof: The silent one creeps me out...
Dasher: How do you have any friends? Seriously...
For Dasher, What part of Fleet makes him such a prim target for stalking?
For Cupcake: have you ever considered using explosive tipped rounds for your gun.
For Shining: Have you ever considered the creation of an airborne unit to jump from helicopters to engage the enemy from behind the lines?
and for Fleet: I'm not sure I quite caught what you said, What exactly do you do?
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*Dasher giggles and grins at Trei's comments*
Dasher: Ah, we have a charmer here... You are very right. Seduction is a fine art, one that somepony has to learn through dedication and experience. Coy has a good heart, but is very forward. Now, if I was to try to seduce somepony, I'd probably start by reducing distance...
*Dasher shifts to move closer to Fleethoof; Fleethoof looks up from inspecting his gun, having missed most of the conversation*
Dasher: Maybe add a little look and touch...
*Dasher smirks at the unwitting Fleethoof, brushing her tail across his*
Fleethoof: Um... What's going on?
*Shining snickers; Cupcake fights back a laugh*
Dasher: Then... *Dasher pushes the table out of her way* ... I'd turn up the heat...
*Dasher slowly circles around the seated Pegasus, flicking her tail underneath his chin, batting her half-lidded eyes at Fleethoof*
Fleethoof: P-Personal sp-space, please...
Dasher: *Dasher purrs softly* Oh, I'd say this is very personal space, Captain... And once I've got his attention, things could start to get a little more... physical...
*Dasher rubs her side against Fleethoof's, leaning up against him, her tail flicking against his Cutie Mark; Fleethoof looks mortified and paralyzed*
Dasher: Problem, Fleety...?
Fleethoof: Y-Yes...
Dasher: Aww, poor colt... Let me fix that...
*Dasher runs a hoof up Fleethoof's side to his wings; Fleethoof whimpers softly; Dasher traces her hoof to his shoulder and topples him over with a playful shove*
Fleethoof: Nope! No thanks! I'm fine now! I'm perfectly fine!
*Shining and Cupcake laugh loudly; Cupcake doubles over and collapses to the floor; Fleethoof rolls his eyes, collapsed to the floor, wings flared out*
Shining: Getting a little flustered there, buddy?
*Fleethoof mumbles incoherently, his face flushed; Dasher giggles to herself and pulls the table and chair back*
Dasher: And that is why I listed flirting as a hobby! Now, to answer your questions. No, I haven't met the Princess of Love yet. I didn't realize she was back in Canterlot before now. Though clearly both Captain Armor and Fleethoof know her personally. How personally, I wonder...?
Shining: W-Whoa, hold on a minute!
Fleethoof: No! You stop it! You've embarrassed me enough already!
*Dasher laughs and smiles sweetly*
Dasher: There are, actually! There's this one little café on Main Street that has the best lattes and cookies. And of course, there's Pony Joe's Donut Shop. It's the only place in Canterlot that's open 24/7, and the doughnuts are AMAZING!!
Shining: I know that place! Twiley and I used to go there all the time when we were in school! I still go there when I'm working late or really early.
Dasher: Ah, the Grand Galloping Gala... Every filly's dream. But, much like the rest of my sad little life, I haven't gotten to go. There's a reason you don't see any Bat ponies there - ever. Only one has ever attended in the history of the Gala, and that's Captain Borealis. Lucky colt... I do know how to dance, ballroom and club style. Living in perpetual night gives you a chance to learn these kinds of things - that, and techno bars were all the rage in the Shades when I was growing up. You learn a lot of dancing there, a lot of it not always appropriate for anywhere ponies could actually see you. It was a lot of fun when I went, but the Guard stole a lot of my free time, and having been in Canterlot these past few months, I haven't really gotten to go.
*Dasher chuckles and winks*
OOOoooohh, looking for a marefriend? Well, besides the crème de la crème, I had a couple filly friends back in the Shades, if Bat ponies are to your liking. There was Aurora and Moonlight Rose - oh wait, Moonlight got engaged. Never mind! But Aurora is still single!
Fleethoof: This is not a matchmaking service! We are not setting ponies up on dates!
Dasher: You're not. I might be.
Shining: I think I'll just get us back on track, if everypony's cool with that. I trained at the Canterlot Royal Academy for basic. It's pretty much the fancy way of saying the barracks in the castle. We did all of our physical work there, and took our classes and lessons at the Academy. We bunked at the Academy too. It wasn't as pleasant as it sounded, but it did its job of preparing us. Uh, I can dance if I have to. I haven't done it since prom, but I think I can still remember how to. You're right about that part. I have to attend every major social event. The Grand Galloping Gala, the Summer Sun Festival, the Lunar Solstice, Canterlot's Winter Wrap Up - even though it's all done magically in a matter of minutes, you name it.
Hmm... I think the greatest perk to being Captain of the Guard would be getting the VIP treatment wherever I go. Canterlot is a pretty exclusive town, and to get to a lot of places, you either need to be somepony or know somepony. I can get into a lot of nice parties, classy restaurants, advanced tickets to museums or shows, things like that. I don't abuse my title in any way or anything, but it's nice to know if I want to go out on a date or something, I can just use my name and be guaranteed an easy ride, ya know? Normally, I don't wake up as early as the soldiers, but the reform we're going through is also for the officers, so we have to get up when they do - namely, the crack of dawn.
Dasher: You mean 'the unholy hours of the morning'.
Fleethoof: You mean 'lazy Bat pony who can't get herself out of bed'.
Dasher: We're nocturnal creatures! The morning is painful to us!
Fleethoof: Excuses...
[Part 1 of 2]
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Fleethoof: Oh yeah, I can dance. Ballroom, mostly. I've never been to a club in my life.
Cupcake: Ahem...
Fleethoof: I've never been to a club as a patron in my life.
Cupcake: Better.
Fleethoof: I enjoy it for the most part. It was pretty nerve-racking at first, but I kinda got the gist of it. It helps when I have something to stay focused on too. Like Shining said, since we started the reform, I've been getting up with the soldiers. But when I was training the Marines, I had to get up with them, which was way before dawn. It's not so bad when you live a lifestyle that demands that from you on the regular. Actually sleeping in a proper, nice bed is still a strange luxury to me.
*Fleethoof narrows his eyes and flexes his wings*
Fleethoof: My wing is fine, thank you very much. I can fly just fine, I just have to keep on my regiment.
Dasher: Wait, what? What's wrong with your wing?
Fleethoof: Nothing.
Shining: Fleet, did something happen? Is this because of what happened back in the war?
*Fleethoof is silent for a long moment*
Fleethoof: ... Yes. It was still causing me discomfort after the war, so I went to get it checked out. The doctors diagnosed it as tendinosis, and said it will probably never fully heal or recover its strength. They put me on a painkiller regiment to deal with the ache as I see fit. Otherwise, I'm fine. I can still fly at close to normal capacity and it doesn't interfere with my life or work.
Dasher: Oh... I'm so sorry...
Fleethoof: Don't be. I'm perfectly fine as long as I don't do any more extensive damage to it.
Dasher: Now you've given me a legitimate reason to randomly check up on you.
*Fleethoof slams his head into the table*
Fleethoof: Fantastic! Just what I needed! Justified stalking!
Cupcake: Please to be silent, Captain. It is my turn. My ideal weapon would be fats, powerful gun, like my baby, but that can tear through walls and buildings and blow things up. Do both my jobs with one tool. Nopony would be safe anywhere from me!
*Dasher squees and claps her hooves excitedly*
Dasher: Ooooh, Cutie Mark stories! I love Cutie Mark stories! Okay, I'll go first! *Dasher reveals her Cutie Mark of a crescent moon and a dagger on her flank* I got it when I was trying out for the Lunar Guard. The Nightwatch requires you to take a physical exam just to even apply, including a sparring portion. I had just knocked out my opponent in the fight when this thing appeared on there. Best day of my life! As you can probably guess, I was accepted on the spot, then and there.
Shining: I got mine when I became the leader of my JROTC group in school. Heh. as if taking over as leader didn't show I was going into the Guard enough, I got this bad boy as proof! I'll never forget the looks on my parents' faces when I came home that day!
Cupcake: *Cupcake stands to show his explosion Cutie Mark* I get Cutie Mark after I blow up parents' kitchen and set oven on fire. It was best day ever! Parents... not so much.
Fleethoof: I got mine while standing up for a good friend fo mine back in flight school. He was being bullied and beat up on after class one day, and I sprung in without a second thought. We... kinda got our flanks kicked, but I got 'em back as good as they got me. They didn't bother him again after that. I always sorta thought the sword represented how I fight the wrong-doers in this world.
Shining: Or that you throw yourself on the blade for others.
Fleethoof: That too.
Dasher: Why was your friend getting beaten up in the first place? Gambling debts?
Fleethoof: Gambling- We were colts! No, it was because he liked stallions.
Dasher: You did the right thing.
Fleethoof: Oh, I know I did. I broke one of their noses.
*Fleethoof chuckles darkly*
[Part 2 of 2]
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Dasher: Oh jeez, where to begin? First, he gets annoyed really easily. Like, really easily. Plus he's a mystery, and I like solving mysteries. They're interesting to find answers to. I've never met a stallion quite so shrouded in enigma as Fleethoof. It's like everypony knows who he is, but at the same time nopony does, and the ones that do don't say a word. It's frustrating, but fun. And it shows I can figure it out. It also helps that he smells like peaches and is fun to be around - when he's actually around and not disappearing.
Fleethoof: I wouldn't be a mystery anymore if I didn't keep disappearing.
Dasher: Where do you go to?
Fleethoof: Classified.
Dasher: Buck!
Cupcake: *Cupcake gasps and beams widely* Explosive bullet? Is that even possible?? I must go see Quarter Master when this is done!
Shining: Actually, we have considered something of the sort. With the release of helicopters to the Guard, we'll be able to put special forces, like the Marines, behind enemy lines while the Guard focuses attention on a frontline. We also have the ability to use the Royal Equestrian Air Force as airborne troops to swoop in behind the enemy if we have to. Now all we need is an enemy to test this on - but hopefully we won't have to! I'm not a warmonger or bloodthirsty, I promise!
*Fleethoof stares darkly at irobern, his expression stolid and hard; Dasher's lips quiver as she fights a smirk; Shining scoffs under his breath*
Fleethoof: I'm gonna shoot him. This joke isn't funny anymore.
Dasher: Oh, come on. It is so funny!
Fleethoof: No. I'm gonna shoot him.
Shining: No, you're not.
*Fleethoof grabs his pistol, pulling the slide to chamber a round*
Fleethoof: I'm gonna shoot him.
Shining: No.
Fleethoof: I'm gonna kill him.
Shining: No, you're not. Put it away, Fleet.
Fleethoof: No. I'm gonna do it.
Shining: Fleet, put it away.
Fleethoof: I'm gonna-
Shining: No, you're not.
Fleethoof: I'm gon-
Shining: No.
Fleethoof: I'm-
Shining: No.
Dasher: Shhh, relax, Fleety... No tears now, only dreams...
*Fleethoof stares intensely at Dasher for a moment*
Fleethoof: Can I shoot her?
Shining: No.
*Fleethoof slams his gun on the table unhappily and crosses his hooves across his chest*
Best. Idea. ever.
I loved this panel thingy!! It was a ton of fun and I loved learning more about these characters and some of the world! ^_^ So awesome!
...and I'm sorry everypony but it's now official. I love you all but... Midnight Dasher is best pony. I swear I haven't laughed like that in a while now! Oh dear lord that felt good. xD
Oh, and thanks for the recommendations Dasher! At the very least I'll get to meet somepony new! ^_^
Again, this was a wonderful idea! At least I thought so!!