Anthropomorphizing the sun and moon

I've noticed some writers complain about MLP fanfic writers using "Celestia's sun" and "Luna's moon" far too often. And I have to agree - including in my own writing. Far too many proper names being dropped, breaking the flow, when proper names should usually be reserved for major actors in the story. But I still like it in concept, to create a reference to the original source material and to keep the sense of the world being benignly supernatural.

So from here on out, instead of just continually beating the dead horse that the sun and moon are controlled, I'm going to anthropomorphize them more than in normal fiction - giving them a living quality, which suits the show, while also helping to better suit the mood of the scene. For example, from one of my own stories:

It had been hours since the party had ended, and the faintest rays of the sun glimmered on the horizon, waiting on Celestia to guide it once more into the sky

From here on out, I might rewrite a line like this as:

It had been hours since the party had ended, and the faintest rays of the sun brightened the night sky, the sun hiding sleepily behind the horizon until it could put dawn off no longer.

Sets the scene, creates the contrast that (in this case) the characters witnessing the sunrise have yet to sleep at a time the rest of the world are just waking. On the other hand, in a scene where the characters are having a nighttime tryst outdoors, I might write the moon like this to suggest impending shenanigans:

The half moon watched from the peak of its flight, curved into an gentle smirk as it shone over the fields.

They're trivial details, I know.

Comments

[TheGreatSako]

Hey man, trivial details are the polish to a good, solid story that can really make it shine!

[archonix]

1085150 Damn right.

And this is another reason why you're one of my favourite authors.

[nemryn]

Sounds like a good idea!