Regent Deleted Scene #2 · 8:14am Apr 27th, 2013
I elected to cut this scene for two reasons. The primary was that the whole chapter has scenes of Twilight in court. I didn't want to kick things off with a scene just like that. The second is I wanted to give Pinkie, Dash, and Rarity more screen time. It's getting to the point where I'm seriously considering adding the OC tag to the story.
“You're an absolute idiot. You know that, Crystal Clear?”
Two unicorns—one pale blue, the other orange—both wearing suits, made their way down a hall of Canterlot Castle towards the throne room. The blue one winced at the orange's biting comment.
“Yes, sir.”
“The Board of Directors are going to flay us once the Lady Regent's done.”
“I'm sure they'll understand.”
“How could you let this happen? You're the Editor-in-chief for Celestia's sake.”
“The Manehatten Chronicle, Los Pegasus Times, and Bostallion Globe were all going to be printing critical articles and I felt that it was worth the risk.”
“There's one big difference, Crystal. None of those papers were going to be read by the pony they were criticizing!”
“Would you rather we had run the Smartypants Incident story instead?”
“No, I'd rather you didn't get us on the Regent's bad side less than a week after she took over.”
The two rounded a corner and saw the entrance to the throne room. Standing beside it, glancing at the two Royal Guards who were on either side of the door, was a purple earth mare.
Crystal Clear's face brightened slightly.
“Tight Lips! What're you doing here?”
Tight Lips looked to the orange unicorn.
“Marked Tome over here called me in. Seems you guys over at the Times are in a little hot water.”
“Yes. The Lady Regent apparently doesn't agree with this week's top story.”
Tight Lips held up a copy of the Canterlot Times.
“And what a top story. 'Cronyism Runs Rampant in Regency'. Nice alliteration.”
“Thank you. Alliterative Appeal certainly knows her stuff.”
Marked Tome butted in.
“Regardless of the article or its headline, the Regent's upset and neither I, nor the Board of Directors, can let The Canterlot Times Company take a beating from this. We have to deal with her for a year—that's not even including what the fallout could be when the Princesses catch wind of it.”
“So what you're saying is, you're going to suck up to her.”
“No, I'm—”
Tight Lips stared flatly at him.
“Your going to suck up. Can't really blame ya. It's just a shame that the Regency's not even a week old and it's already trying to stifle the media.”
Tome frowned.
“Tight, this isn't the right time to—”
“No! It's the perfect time. The NPA just wants to make sure that this new Regency doesn't try anything funny. In case you haven't heard, we're one of the few things keeping the Princesses in check. You think Parliament can keep them in check? They dissolve if a spending bill doesn't pass. The High Court? They're so old all the Diarchy has to do is wait for one to croak and appoint one who'll agree with what they want. The quill is mightier then the sword, or in this case, three quasi-immortal alicorns.”
Tome scoffed.
“We can't check anything if nopony believes what we say due to the boneheaded decisions by our editors.”
Crystal flinched again. Tight Lips nodded.
“And I concur. The Times certainly could have handled things better, but that doesn't mean what that story said isn't true. Regardless, we have damage control to do. What's it going to be?”
“Front page retraction with a editorial by the Senior Editors. If that's not good enough, the Board has authorized a meeting with Sparkle to clear any foul air.”
“That seems sufficient to—”
The door to the throne room opened.
“The Lady Regent will now see you.”
[-----]
The Throne Room looked just as the trio had remembered it. The only major difference were the purple banners that hung prominently around the room, giving a distinct feel of a seemingly illegitimate authority to the three press ponies. On the throne sat an annoyed purple alicorn and to her side, High Overseer Solar
The three approached the throne and bowed.
“Good morning, Your...Regency. Allow us to introduce ourselves. My name is Marked Tome, President and CEO of The Canterlot Times Company.”
Tight Lips stood next.
“My name is Tight Lips, President of the National Press Association.”
Crystal was last.
“My name is Crystal Clear, Editor-in-chief of The Canterlot Times.”
Twilight stared down at the three ponies with a flat expression.
“Yes, The Canterlot Times. You've been quite busy, haven't you?”
Marked Tome cleared his throat.
“On behalf of the company, I'd like to apologize. After carefully reviewing our editorial policy, the Board of Directors, and Auditing Committee both concluded
Once the three had left, Twilight allowed confusion to wash over her face.
“Board of Directors and Auditing Committee? But, neither of those have anything to do with editorial decisions.”
You are still going to continue this line with The Canterlot Times, right? This is hilarious
Anyway, I suggest you accept it: this story is rife with OCs. Pinkie's mission is a failure. Solar Flare's importance alone has you damned, and this was a chapter almost entirely revolving OCs. There isn't much you can do...
YOU DELETED
PART OF
THE DELETED
SCENE.
“On behalf of the company, I'd like to apologize. After carefully reviewing our editorial policy, the Board of Directors, and Auditing Committee both concluded
"
...concluded? Concluded what? LUNA FUCK ME WITH THE MOON WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!
1039279
You'll never know, because that's where I stopped when I decided to delete the scene.
1039515
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
1039279 ...now there's an expression I haven't seen before, with Luna. It brings up some -- INTERESTING images. Images I would rather have not entered my head. But hey, that's what good profanity does.
1040299
...you've never read Fallout: Equestria before, have you?
1041136 No, I haven't. I have a ridiculously long backlog of stuff to read and watch, and I tend to shy away from crossover MLP fics (except Doctor Who ones). So, that's where that expression comes from then? Is there a similar one involving Celestia? ...that would be even more painful I think.
1041160
Oh yes!
A little selection of them:
Oh fuck me with Celestia’s forehooves!
Stick a horn where Celestia don’t shine!
Solar-flaring orgasms of Celestia!
Luna’s tidal mareheat!
Celestia clop my clit with a hoof-full of sunfire!
Celestia lick me like she loves me!
Luna spank my withers!
Luna shove my cunt full of moonrocks and call me home.
All said by our lovely protagonist, by the way. Aren't these... colorful?
1044383
...and this got featured on EQD?
It better have been grandfathered in, because I doubt they'd let that kind of stuff fly now-in-days due to their "family friendly" image.
1044383 o.O Yes. Definitely... colourful. I have to say, I'm impressed. The fine art of obscenity seems to be mostly forgotten these days, in favour of simply using premade words.
1044383
Wasn't there also one about Celestia anally raping somepony with the sun?
1041160
There are a lot of ones involving Celestia, none of which I care to repeat in polite company...
1044423
Well, the colourful profanity is tastefully spaced out, it's a grimdark (and a really long one) and the overall tone is humorous. It sounds shockingly distasteful when compressed together and taken out of context, but absolutely hilarious in context and is a great quirk for the protagonist.
So yes, it got featured on EQD, being one of if not the most popular MLP fanfics around, and certainly the most influential.
1039279
It's a deletion inside the deletion.
DWOOOO
1044423
That was a long time ago. Apparently, EQD staff didn't have their collective heads so deep up their collective ass at that time.