Just. Write. · 1:35am Mar 28th, 2013
My friend likes to say to me "You think too much, man.". And you know what? I agree with him wholeheartedly.
A major example could be found right here. I've sat here for nearly an hour, thinking of subjects that I could write about to gain the attention, and maybe the respect, of just somebody. I could swear that I had at least three really good topics to talk and start an interesting conversation about. Something that could give me some insight for this life I live. And yet, here I am, merely writing about that one time I had a good idea.
I don't know why I even bothered to waste my night. Maybe I thought that I really was a philosopher of sorts. And yet, I can't even put my own thoughts onto a fucking computer. It's a real predicament I have. I really want to write. I said, when I was young, that I would be heard. That I'd put my thoughts onto paper and someone would at least give it a glance. But here I am, on a damn website for writing no less, and that dream has yet to be fulfilled, really.
I just can't explain it, really. I just have so much to talk about, yet when I begin to write about it, my own mind seems to dissuade me. It quietly creeps in details about how much I would sound like a fucking moron if I posted that. Or how this topic really falls apart the more you get into it. Or how this story is far from original, and you'll probably get a shit-load of flak if you try to write it as your own original creation. Why? Isn't this thing supposed to help me with this shit? And yet, it's the biggest reason why I hardly post a word beyond my RP here.
Like right now, I doubt posting this because maybe you'll all see that I wrote 'And yet' or 'But still' one or two too many times and you'll all just mark me off as simply an armature with no real useful input on anything. There's also the fact that the only things I really post on here is how much I think I'm such a fucking loser, and maybe you've all already given up on me and dismissed me as what I just said, 'an armature with no real useful input on anything'.
I don't know why. I just fear my own words, I guess. Or at least how others might see my words. I don't really know. So yeah, I guess I could write about this. Hell, it's good to write about something other than how life sucks. I guess writing about how my writing and thoughts suck is a step up, right?
Buddy, I gave up writing for the masses a long time ago. I write for myself.
I honestly don't give a
damnshitRAT'S ASS about what people think about what I write. As long as I get my ideas out there and people react to it, even if that reaction is negative, is fine by me.I write for the soul purpose of writing BECAUSE IT'S FUN. Not to please others, and CERTAINLY not to make myself seem smarter than I actually am. I told Slayerbroman (Whom I think you know) this and he agrees.
Now the only issue is, do you? Don't let the masses get you down. Write from the heart and soul, even if it's considered "bad" to some people. In fact, I'm writing a fic that shows writers in a unique light, and I'll take as long as it takes to write the damn thing. Oh well, I enjoy it, and there's nothing the impatient and grammar nazi jerks can do about it.
Think Freely my Friend, never forget that.
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Well, you know, this was kind of the problem. Somehow, this was all supposed to tie into the fact that I just think too much that it hinders my creativity heavily. And yet, it devolved into me saying that I'm afraid of what other people think. Maybe I thought that by tying that into my blog, I'd be able to connect it all in a way that very few have seen before, and it all turns to mush, in a sense of words.
It's just that. I try to expand my thoughts the include a slue of topics so that I could maybe tie them all together in a cohesive bundle, but it's all just a jumbled mess at the end. And the worse part is, that's really the only way I know how to write.
I mean, how else can you write about something without trying to tie in other subjects so that the reader would be able to wholly understand your point of view, just by rule of relativity? I just don't see any other way. It sucks, but that's the only real way I know how to write.
I mean, is there any other way to go about it? When you boil it all down, isn't that the only core of writing? Seriously, is it? I don't know at all, I'm just one dude. I guess I'd like some insight before I die. I'd at least like to know whether or not I have even the tiniest grasp of the idea of the one thing I like to do.
Well, to tie everything back up; yes, I know that I shouldn't really care what others think, it's just that there's this tiny, pin-prick of a voice in my mind that seems to have the power of a booming Odin. And all it spews is doubt.
I don't know exactly where I'm going, now. I guess I'd also like to know if I'm the only one around here that's doubted just about every little choice they've ever made in their recent life. 'Cause right now, I'm even doubting all of this. Is this even normal?
I agree with spark. Check out my latest story. Look at the likes/dislikes ratio. I don't write that shit because I want admiration, me and a buddy just enjoy writing retarded shit and if the few people who have liked it want more then we'll keep going. For them, but mostly for ourselves.
If you're afraid of your writing being bad not writing won't make you any better.