Story Review: Nightmare or Nyx?

Nightmare or Nyx?
by Pen Stroke

Description (from story page):
Side-story to Past Sins - Spike almost lost Twilight to a hangmare's noose, but now Twilight is safe and Nyx is a filly again. Normal life is returning. Still, Spike can't ignore the fact that Nyx just isn't the same as he remembers her. Her temper is more volatile, and, when she gets angry, all he can see is the rage-driven Nightmare Moon of legend.
And thus Spike has to wonder: Is Nyx truly reformed, or is she one bad tantrum away from calling herself Nightmare Moon again?

VISION (Does the work present or reflect a point of view, theme, or idea?): A (excellent)
One thing I particularly love about all the Past Sins stories by Pen Stoke is that they all have an underlying theme. Each story presents a different idea that governs how the story is told, the events that take place, and the characters' reactions. Nightmare or Nyx? is no different in this respect. Pen Stroke takes a central - but not oft mentioned - theme of MLP canon and skillfully weaves a story around it. Like many of Pen Stroke's offerings, this theme is always present in Nightmare or Nyx?, but it is not evident until the story's close. I am tempted to call his overt revealing of the theme at the end a "twist," but really it's not. Pen Stroke embeds the themes of redemption, second chances, and helping others so well into the narrative, that the reader is left with a feeling of epiphany at the end, even though they really knew it all along.

ORIGINALITY (Is the work fresh or new in its style, execution, or approach? Is it something you haven't seen before in its genre? Did it surprise you?): C (average)
In short, this has been done before. Nearly every story on FIM Fiction featuring Trixie as a main character carries with it the same themes as are presented in Nightmare or Nyx?. Spike's surprising attitude throughout and eventual shift of character style at the end with Twilight in the library isn't new, either. The story as a whole seemed to stem more from the question "How will Ponyville react to the conclusion in Past Sins?" than from the need to show a unique perspective of Nyx's post-reign life as a filly in Twilight's care. While this was the first story to utilize Nyx as the anti-villain in the story, other stories have taken this approach toward other characters (again, think Trixie). I must say, however, that the idea of using Nyx and Spike as an anti-villain/anti-victim pair is surprisingly entertaining. In addition, I was expecting much of the story to be from the perspective of Nyx or Twilight. The fact that the whole story is written from Spike's perspective helped to bump this category up a bit.

TECHNIQUE (Was the work skillfully created? Does the author exhibit advanced knowledge of storytelling, plot-building, grammar/spelling, etc.?): B (above-average)
As any author on this site has probably figured out by now, Spike is an extremely difficult character to write for. Pen Stroke is not immune to this, but he still presents the character as believable and within his canon personality. Like all Pen Stroke's stories, it was well-edited. I would be hard-pressed to find any major grammatical errors or repeated typos. His style of prose always manages to keep my attention, even during times when the only action is Spike lazily tossing rocks at the ceiling - yes, that's actually a scene, and it's still not boring. The only thing keeping this category from earning an 'A' is the characterization of Rainbow Dash during the scene in Sugarcube Corner. While she did react appropriately, given Spike's voiced concerns, a portion of her reaction - interestingly, the part where she was actually helpful to Spike - was a bit too caring for Dash. Aside from this small misstep, I was happy to see that Pen Stroke's superb abilities in plot construction, narrative and dialogue use, and clear and concise writing style are on display in this story.

IMPACT (Does the work resonate with you or evoke strong emotions? Does it make you think?): C (average)
I almost gave this category a 'D' - the first ever in any category in these reviews. Nightmare or Nyx? suffered from the same major problem as Trinkets(review), but to an even higher degree. The character evolution wasn't the problem. Nyx's growth as a character - and retaining some of the more unbecoming qualities of Nightmare Moon - was a natural step in the direction one would expect coming out of Past Sins. Also, Spike's character progression was natural, given that he now has to live with some of the more unbecoming qualities of Nightmare Moon. What ruined it was the conclusion. Yes, it's an 11,000 word one-shot, but the introduction, action, and even climax caused the growing feeling of something "big" about to happen. The same was true for Past Sins. The difference is that something big did happen in the parent novel. After all of the introspection afforded to Spike throughout the story, the ending simply fell flat. Spike sees Nyx as a potential threat. He putters around for a bit and feels sorry for himself; he talks to a few of his friends around Ponyville - focusing on Dash - and then he goes home... and nothing happens. Spike gets a friendly lesson from Twilight about how Nyx is family and needs their help, but that's it. I don't expect stories to end with everything hunky-dorey - case-in-point: Fallout: Equestria. Nightmare or Nyx? simply ends abruptly, without really solving anything. None of the main characters has any resolution, positive or negative, and I was left with the feeling that Pen Stroke began to tire of writing it, and just tied off the string's loose threads just before it got to the good part.

Overall: B (above-average)
I'll admit that my category reviews for Nightmare or Nyx? are rather, well, scathing in places. Truth be told, though, I actually enjoyed this story a lot. It is told in true Pen Stroke style that's loved by his legions of fans. Nyx makes a couple (brief) appearances and contributes to plot consistency - she's adorable even when she's throwing books across the room. Pen Stroke has a way of telling even the most mundane of stories - I mean, come on, whose sibling didn't throw a few tantrums when they were younger? - while keeping your attention and making you ask for more. Nightmare or Nyx? was the weakest of the four Past Sins stories, in my opinion, but I still give it an above-average 'B'. It maintained my immersion and attention, stayed true to the guiding principles set out by FIM canon, gave further depth to both characters Nyx and Spike, displayed a mastery of prose, and attmpted to put a unique spin on an old theme. It was entertaining, and that is really what fiction is meant to be. Where the story came up short was in the lacklustre and unsatisfying conclusion, the (momentary) mischaracterization of Rainbow Dash, and the use of a tired theme without actually saying anything new about the idea behind it.