So guess who's coming back · 4:38pm Jan 6th, 2013

I'm sorry I've been gone for the past few months. I've had to take a few steps back. I remember telling you all about the death of my friend's father and that feels so long ago. I suppose my descent as a brony began with his passing but it wasn't really until September that I became sort of disenchanted with it. So many things were happening and changing and I wasn't changing and it became a lot for me to handle so I began to log on less and less frequently until I stopped entirely. Writing began to feel like a chore in a way to me. So many things have changed, there are so many new people, the website's format has changed and it makes me regret leaving for the amount of time I did.

Ever since I've left, I was, and still am, dealing with a crappy job that I absolutely despise, I was in a major car accident that was my fault (I never saw the stop sign until it was too late), I got charged with failing to stop and driving with expired tags, and some more of this and that. Ever since the accident, I've been doing a lot of thinking about existence and I've been thinking about the notion of death. I was scared. I was very very scared. I was scared of a lot of things but the concept of death was really heavy on my shoulders. I don't believe in a "God" figure so the thought of an endless nothing was very humbling, very large, and I felt very small. So over the past few weeks, I've been doing a lot of reading and I've been watching a lot of videos of Buddhist and Hindi monks lecturing on the subject of death and how they saw death, and I must say, they make death seem like something beautiful.

I got drunk the night of the season 3 premier and I can remember trying to watch it on my friend's computer and I can remember watching it in stop-motion cinematography and being really overwhelmed with it. So I watched it again the following day once I had sobered up and it was really good but it was the last episode I watched. There are so many new characters and so many new things and a lot has changed. I have a lot of catching up to do.

I can't remember where I left off. I remember writing a chapter for The House on Mayberry Hill but that was so long ago. I can't find the file on my computer which is disappointing because I was so close to being finished with it. So I guess the only thing I can do now is start over with that chapter. So we'll see how that goes.

I have so many new followers now. So I suppose a "Hello" and a whole slew of "Thank you"s are in order here.

I'm Alexander.

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