Something About Writing · 6:10am March 27th

Hey, folks. Well, to the folks who are around to read this, heh. Yet another 'long time no see' post to follow after the one I made last year. This post may be a slightly more somber note.

In a way I'm writing to you. In a way, I'm writing to myself. I suppose seeing all those AIs popping up everywhere that can write stories and whatnot has had me thinking, heh. Maybe... some small fear that I'll won't get the chance to finish my stories before some AI writes them all.

While I have had projects and busy times, and stress (goodness yes, stress) over the last few years, the truth is that writing itself has been hard. It was always easy to write when I felt I was writing 'for' someone. For whatever reason, this particular genre has always sparked my storytelling in a way... pretty much nothing else has. It was always easy to emotionally connect to and express myself in. Other people, heck, even many of my MLP author friends, moved on to other things. One is writing literal full-length novels and doing a fantastic job at it.

Meanwhile, I find myself more or less... here. Returning to this setting, to these stories, these characters. To be perfectly honest, it's gotten somewhat lonely. The last time I finished a story here, it was intense to put it mildly. Sadly, my friends all have a lot going on in their lives and... they didn't really have time to read it. And I don't blame them.

I love telling stories, crafting things that help in some way or fashion. Some people can write simply because they want to. Their mantra is to write a little every day, and... that apparently works for them. For me, if I don't have motivation, if I can't imagine someone's response to reading it, my flame flickers out.

I haven't stopped thinking about writing. I still love the idea of it. I still want to finish the stories I started. It's just also really difficult when I feel like I'm only writing to myself. Sometimes I look back at the things I've already written and instead of it feeling like something familiar? It feels like some unreachable peak that someone else wrote, and that I've somehow lost the ability to reach.

There's a lot of things I could and have blamed for my lack of writing. Time, obligations, work sucking out everything I have. I think what I miss the most is the sense of community, though. I never moved on to other things, or maybe I did and simply didn't notice. Even if I did, though, I keep finding myself looking back over my shoulder, like someone trying to catch a glimpse of a reason to turn around.

I think the thing that resonated with me in the show was the idea that we could make the world greater than the sum of its parts. No matter how the world came about, no matter how the world was built, no matter what may have wound creation or evolution to be what we have now, harmony still begets something better than what started.

I look at the world, and I see a lot of villains, a lot of people who are out for themselves, for control, for power, following the old survival of the fittest mantra. We don't even have to look far. The message that good things could survive and grow simply by those who believe in it sticking together was important to me. When you see devastation, it's all the more important to find the pieces that survived and bring them back together.

That idea gave me hope. Hope is something that can seem... incredibly hard to come by, especially when you're stuck in situations you feel there's no escape from. I've been there before. More than once. Sometimes I still find myself stuck there: emotional ghosts that sometimes tap me on the shoulder.

I want to say that I will keep writing. I want to say I've got another story coming out soon. I want to say I've got something amazing to share. Being honest, I can't say any of those things. But I am going to try.

For all those who have read my stories in the past and commented and sent me letters, even if you aren't here to read this now, I am grateful to you. It has meant a lot, especially to someone like me who always fears his next story is going to be his worst, heh.

Sorry if this post seems all over the place and random. That's because it is. I haven't bothered trying to edit it or pretty it up [Okay, I made a couple edits because... habit]. I just... needed to talk for a while in a space that... didn't totally feel like shouting into a void, heh. Thank you for listening.

Report Butterscotch Cream · 57 views · #story writing

Comments ( 3 )