The Writing of The Bonds of Love (Chapter Thirteen: Serenity, Part Two)

Alright! Time for the second half of Serenity; let’s not waste any time and get right into it!

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~ Eavesdrop at Your Own Peril ~

Continuing where we left off, we open on Gallus and Silverstream on their way to the restaurant, bouncing along in a bumpy but otherwise non-chaotic carriage ride, and—Wait, what do you mean that’s not how we start the chapter?

Oh, right. I nixed that idea. Why? Because I wanted to save the drama for later, even if an awkward carriage ride with Gallus and Silver fretting over each other’s current emotional states would have made for good conflict.

Instead, I wanted to embrace the silliness andshow what exactly their friends had to stop. And what better way to do that than by roping the Princesses themselves into the craziness?

Well, that’s not quite what I wanted to do initially.

Initially, the 2^nd Date Eavesdroppers weren’t going to be sent to the Tree of Harmony’s catacombs; rather, they’d havebeen teleported to some generic hill on Ponyville’s outskirts, far away from Gallus and Silverstream. And though they were going to be imprisoned in a barrier, it was instead going to be of Starlight and Twilight’s making rather than Starlight and Ocellus’.

Yep, Twilight was going to show up too. So was Edith. So were the CMC. Possibly Terramar. I think I even considered having the Pillars of all creatures show up too, just…because. I also considered having some Ponyville citizens getting caught too but thought it’d be creepy to imply a bunch of random adults wanted to spy on two teenagers’ date.

Other Friendship School students were going to appear too, but I opted to stick with just the main students I had already used, sparing myself the agony of explaining who was who and why they were there despite never appearing before. Same reason why I decided against including the CMC; though I imagine those three were totally running amok doing something once the Great Pancake War began.

Edith was nixed since I was already working with enough characters here as-is—The same reason why the other Mane Six, Sandbar, and Yona weren’t present here, but I made sure to justify that in-universe by relegating them to Rarity duty.

Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be extended to Sunburst and Trixie; I wanted to have them here too, but there was literally nothing for them to do.

Ocellus was going to be in this scene as well, helping Starlight and Twilight keep the barrier up, but I also planned for her to teleport back to Gallus and Silver once they reached the restaurant anyway, so I streamlined things and had her go to the restaurant immediately rather than appear here. Same reason why Smolder isn’t here either.

Terramar didn’t show up because I wanted to save him and the rest of Silver’s family for the Mount Aris arc, and the Pillars didn’t show up because they really had no reason to be here.

And Twilight? Alas, poor Twilight Sparkle.

The plan was Starlight would call in a favor, and both Twilight and Spike would arrive to provide extra backup. Sadly, I soon realized she wasn’t necessary for the scene either. Would have been fun to see her and Spike’s reactions to the other Princesses spying on Gallus-Stream because they couldn’t help themselves, but…? Yeah.

Courtesy of Starlight, Twilight doesknow what her fellow Princesses got caught doing, but what she said or did to them afterward, I’ll leave to your interpretations, but you just knowSpike sent some snark their way. Also, Shining Armor absolutelyknows his wife went gallivanting off to stalk Gallus-Stream. Maximum smugness is all I’ll say regarding his reaction to Cadence returning home bedraggled, defeated, and newly made master of one Ursa Minor; everything else is up to you, including if he had forewarned her she’d fail.

Ironic, that last part though—Shining wasgoing to be here too, and he only wasn’t because someponyneeded to stay back and watch over Flurry, and it certainly wasn’t going to be Cadence. Although, I did consider explaining they had called in a favor of their own with Thorax and got King Buggo to watch over Flurry for the night so they could go eavesdropping.

But since we’re discussing the Princesses themselves again, they’re actually the reason why I moved this entire sequence to the catacombs beneath the School.

In a burst of spontaneous creativity—I thought it’d be funny if the night was entirely calm and relaxed when Gallus and Silverstream first entered the restaurant, but once they came out, they’d be greeted with a war between Celestia and Luna who had both suddenly shown up for some reason and had been corrupted into Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon respectively.

Since this was all for comedic effect, that “war” they were going through, I decided to make between blueberry and chocolate pancakes. It was going to be something else, but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was—maybe peanut butter and jelly?

Regardless, once I concluded I was going to do that, it was down to the catacombs we go since the Great Pancake War would need to have reached Ponyville, and it wouldn’t have if it had begun on some random hillside far outside the town.

And though I did want this chapter to be entirely from Gallus and Silver’s perspective in the restaurant until they exited it, I quickly realized if I didn’t set up the Princesses being around,the war scene wouldn’t have been nearly as effective as I wanted—Chekhov’s Gun and all that. Thus, we open the chapter on the Princesses’ perspectives.

In fact, Celestiawas going to be the one hyped for spying on Gallus-Stream, not Luna. I figured since Luna gave Gallus dream therapy, it’d make more sense character-wise that she’d want to respect the lovebird’s boundaries and stay far away from the date; whereas, Celestia, both knowing about Gallus-Stream second-hoof from Cadence and bored out of

Then I soon realized that made no sense narrative-wise. Luna and Cadence had already been shown interacting with Gallus in the story, unlike Celestia, so I’d have to jump through a lotof hoops to explain why she of all ponies was suddenly as crazy a shipper as Scoop.

So, I switched the Sisters’ roles: Luna was already invested in Gallus’ well-being and development, so she would be dying to know how his date with Silverstream was going, and Celestia, meanwhile, had no affiliation with the lovebirds, so she’d be the one utterly un-invested in everything and wanting nothing more than to go back to Silver Shoals.

And of course, before any of them can see the pair so much as step into the restaurant, I have Pinkie appear out of nowhere to terrify the Princesses to their very core and call attention to her random emergency stashes—The only explanation I could think of for how Pinkie installed that trapdoor in the ground conveniently beneath them.

One slip-and-slide later, the Princesses fall into the Harmonic Catacombs—Is there a canon name for those things?—only to be greeted by Smuglight Glimmer and the infuriated members of the Drama Club(Plus Lighthoof).

Seriously, who else would have been spying on Gallus-Stream but this pack of dorks? That scene between the majority of them back in Ch.6(Stagnation) may have been the true last hurrah for the group, but I wasn’t about to pass up the chance to use them all one last time.

Vellum, of course, is still his self-righteous, haughty self, but at least he’s completely on Gallus-Stream’s side. Were it not for good ole Scoop, he’d have likely been back in his dormitory, listening to opera or something.

The others, sadly, are far too frustrated at having gotten caught before seeing Gallus and Silver’s kiss to be remotely patient with Vellum’s rebuttals.

Wish I could have given End Zone more lines, but at least I let him be the most patient with Vellum, genuinely advising him to be quiet since none of them were in the mood for the stallion’s usual attitude.

Patty gets practically nothing, as usual.

Shimmy and Lighthoof, meanwhile, get a nice scene together, geeking out over what little of the 2^nd Date they did manage to see before getting caught and planning to reprimand Gallus later for legitimately taking Silver bowling—Ironic, considering Gallus didn’t want the whole School knowing he did, but thanks to the cheerleader duo, they will after tonight.

By sheer, complete accident, this one interaction between them also threw a wrench into my plans for what to do with Shimmy come the Epilogue(Love), but we’ll talk about that later.

And while I may not have been able to include Edith in this chapter, I at least took pity on the poor cockatrice by having her be the one to preemptively petrify the craziest shipper of them all—Scoop. Shame that’s the last time I ever did anything with her in the story.

Returning our attention to the Princesses…? For those who believe alicorns automatically have deity-tier magical strength justbecause they’re alicorns and hate Starlight’s magical prowess subsequently because she’s merely a unicorn, this dialogue exchange is for you:

“Oh, we will escape!” Cadence declared, pounding her hooves against the sphere. “No mere unicorn magic can resist the might of an alicorn!”

“You may be alicorns, but magic is magic. And I know magic,” Starlight bragged.

Because how else am I going to explain the Princesses not being able to escape that thing? With her gone, I couldn’t hand-wave it away under Twilight’s own overpowered magical prowess—If anything, that was another reason why I nixed Twilight: I didn’t want that shield to be anything less than the combined efforts of the sorceresses involved, Starlight and Ocellus.

Making the barrier Twilight’s own creation would have diminished that, and we’ve already devoted a significant portion of the story to showcasing Ocellus’ own magical talent, so why not show that off?

And because Celestia’s present, I can’t resist having her compliment Starlight’s magical aptitude; she did so for Twilight all the time so why not here too? Especially when she’s not nearly as outraged as her fellow alicorns.

One back and forth between Starlight and said alicorns later results in Cadence and Luna working together to accomplish absolutely nothing pertaining to an escape. Celestia, however, retreats to ensure the captured students are okay, blissfully ignorant to the torment she’ll soon endure known only as Cadence and Luna’s combined whining.

And of course Celestia brought up the Club’s play again; I couldn’t resist the callback. Plus? I figured I’d throw Vellum and the others a bone by having the literal Princess of the Sun and former ruler of Equestria, compliment them all on a performance well-done.

As for how she watched it? Well, it wouldn’t be a good idea to ret-con it by saying she had been there back. If she had, other ponies would have known about it/reported on it, and that, in-universe, might have overshadowed the Club’s actual acting accomplishments that day. More importantly, I didn’t even thinkof hinting at Celestia being there when writing Ch.4(Optimism), so naturally, I didn’t want to pretend that notion had been the plan all along.

Thus, I called back to Twilight recording the play; not only did she send copies to the Drama Club, but also to the Princesses—Yet another reason why Luna was invested in Gallus and Silver’s relationship, and by proxy a reason for Celestia to be as well.

By now, you’re probably noticing a trend where I take every chance I get to reference anything and everything I can from earlier in the story. Some of that is legitimate setup and payoff, but a lot of it is also due to simple self-indulgence.

Remember, this was once planned to be the final chapter of the story and thus, my last chance to reference everything that came before, and considering I spent a solid year working on T.B.O.L.? Yeah. I’d say I had a right to some self-indulgent referencing. Especially when I almost always used it to further enhance either the story itself or its world-building.

Getting back on topic—Vellum darn near faints from Celestia’s praise but recovers enough to explain the identity of the petrified student. Said student then—by the power of sheer mad shipper energy—pulls an SCP 173 by seemingly teleporting closer to Celestia once the others ask what Celestia had seen of the 2^nd Date.

They’re then interrupted by Rainbow and Applejack—the fastest and strongest of the Mane Six—reporting in and confirming they just barely caught a certain vulture before he escaped Ponyville.

Per Starlight’s request, said buzzard tumbles straight down the chute, while the RD and AJ aresent to reunite with Fluttershy, Sandbar, and Yona to keep Rarity imprisoned. I was tempted to confirm Big Mac was helping them too and that even he was having a hard time keeping the mare down, but I didn’t want to clutter the cast and drag out the line any further.

All eyes are now on Gruff who struts right for Starlight, banging face-first into the barrier but not even flinching, demanding to know why he’s there.

She responds as anyone would: Revealing he tried to break up Gallus-Stream to the near-dozen crazed Gallus-Stream shippers he’s caged up with.

I wanted so much for all the students to get some digs in too—at least Vellum and Shimmy!—but I settled instead on the Princesses. Why? Because I wanted to open up that Great Pancake War with them in their Nightmare forms. So I made sure to have them each threaten Gruff while taking time to highlight they were doing exactly that.

Celestia’s mane began to be consumed by Daybreaker’s flames, and Luna’s eyes became Nightmare Moon’s. Of course, Cadence doesn’t have a canon Nightmare form, so I just went with some generic “Magic sparked around her body” mumbo-jumbo, but you already got the point by then.

So yeah. Have fun knowing that: The Legion of Doom, Discord, and all the other monsters and villains they faced couldn’t get the Princesses to turn to the dark side, but knowing someone tried to split up some random teenagers they barely know? Now thatis what drives them over the edge.

Gruff proceeds to practically st himself, taking a leaf out of Ember’s comedy book and screaming for [Insert Unicorn Reference/Name Here] to save him from the angry mob, but like Tartarus is Starlight going to do that. Instead, she moves the plot along briskly by way of contacting Ocellus and Smolder and asking them what’s happening with the lovebirds.

Their response is a resounding, “Uhhh? About that?” allowing us to seemingly transition back to the lovebirds in question’s perspectives.

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~ And So the Night Begins ~

With the Great Pancake War set up, we finallysee that awkward carriage ride scene…right? No? I stilldidn’t use it? Darn. I did consider using it to shift our focus back to Gallus-Strean via them departing the carriage after the notably awkward ride. But since the full idea got cut, there wasn’t much use trying to use the leftover scraps—at least I included him helping her out of the carriage.

You weren’t missing much anyway since I condensed the overall awkwardness and Gallus’ concerns into what we do open on. Speaking of which, we get a neat surprise of Gallus getting some internal dialogue again because, if you’ll recall, I liked using the stuff as a glaring red flag that he wasn’t doing so well emotionally.

Silverstream, meanwhile, begins with a joke and curtsy before her mood sours at the sight of the restaurant, prompting her to have her own version of the conversation they had back at the bowling alley’s entrance last chapter. Why? Narrative symmetry.

Why did I feel the need to point out in-universe that the two conversations mirrored each other via Gallus commenting on it? Because the chapters were posted two weeks apart, so I felt it necessary to put in a reminder for those who might have forgotten that detail.

As for why Silverstream keeps bouncing between “Relatively calm and jovial” and “On the verge of an anxiety attack,” I’ll explain soon. But regarding anxiety, Gallus shuts down his own, deciding to instead focus on simply having a good night out with his girlfriend.

This little story beat was equal parts because:

#1) Paranoia was Silverstream’s main character flaw throughout the story, not his.

#2) I didn’t want to stretch out the word count.

#3) And most predominantly, I wanted to show off Gallus’ development with him stopping himself from succumbing to his own fears and worries yet again.

And because of this, Gallus no longer has any internal dialogue, from here on. After all? Why would he when he’s had enough development—especiallyby this chapter’s end—that there was no need for any arbitrary indicator he wasn’t okay? So there ya go; that’s the reason neither Gallus nor Silver have any internal dialogue during the Mount Aris arc and Epilogue(Love).

Silverstream has some later though, but we’ll get to that. Since Gallus just had his, I postponed hers till later to avoid confusion concerning whose was whose.

Fun fact: At first, Silver was the only one of the two to have internal dialogue in this chapter, but since this was the last time I had planned for either of them to have it, I decided to let Gallus have some too, even better since it allowed for more of that juicy narrative symmetry.

Moving onto spokendialogue now: Silver can’t help but offer to pay for the meal one last time—I really milked that plot point for all it was worth, didn’t I?—only for Gallus to once more deny it, promising she can pay for their next night. I considered having him be as miffed here as he was earlier, but considering her sandwich stunt later, I opted to have him be more calm and understanding here.

Gruff’s words in mind, Silver echoes the words, “Next time…?” because of course she does, and because emotions are complicated, she finds the notion equal parts frightening and joyous. The latter wins out, thankfully, and she’s calmed once more, taking Gallus’ talon and letting him lead her into the restaurant—still one of my favorite moments, this.

Blah-blah-blah, I wish I had done more with the restaurant and described it better than I ultimately did, blah-blah-blah… Moving on!

After spending a quarter of an hour trying to figure out how to write the receptionist part without giving them a proper name, Gallus and Silver are seated, with the former being proven yet again to be quite the player, both having chosen a seat near a painting of his girlfriend’s homeland and even knowing she prefers sitting in the front of the restaurant/wherever. Why is that the case? I dunno. I just figured it’d make sense given how excitably extroverted Silver is that she’d prefer sitting out in the front/open and notin the corner booth where my introverted a likes to hide away from fellow diners.

Of course, now that they’re seated and perusing the menus, Silver finally knows how exorbitant the prices truly are. Why she didn’t already know before when she could have easily found out by visiting the restaurant on her own time and inquiring about it, or better yet, when Gallus likely would/should have been honest with her about the prices when discussing the date schedule with her? Uhhh…? Plot.

Either way, she’s been refused enough times to know not to ask to pay for dinner again, but that doesn’t make her concerns any less severe. Hence now was the time for her own internal dialogue because blah-blah-blah, emotional distress, blah-blah-blah, we’ve been over this.

I think I spent a collective hour or so randomly Googling what plants birds can eat just so I could figure out what kind of dinners the two would get. Both because I don’t know a thing about what birds can eat besides mice, bugs, and seeds, and I needed to find an actual, proper dinner meal that could reasonably align with that.

And because this is a pony restaurant, Silver’s little apple-broccoli salad would totally be equatable to a full steak dinner or something…I think? I don’t know; the show never talked about food costs as far as I know, so who knows what their food is equatable to.

On the plus side, I did discover cheddar-stuffed celery sticks are a thing, and I’m determined to try those things at least once in my lifetime. Probably not the beet soup though; I know Google says those things taste delicious, but I dunno.

Gallus certainly wants both those items though. The celery because I had given up trying to find anything better for them to have, and I thought it’d be funny he had a massive hankering for ‘em. As for the beet soup? Honestly, that was more to throw End Zone a bone than anything.

Google also said those things are super nutritious, so I thought it’d be a nice detail if Gallus only started eating them because End Zone—a fellow athlete—told him how nutritious they were—which he later confirmed as such with Ocells—as he explains later.

Silverstream then jokes about his love of celery sticks, only for Gallus to counter with her apparent love of apples—A fact we never see at all in T.B.O.L. because I didn’t plan this aspect ahead but still needed Gallus to have a comeback pertaining to her own food preferences. Because…comedy? Natural sounding dialogue? Honestly, it’s just so Gallus can set up that “You’re cute when you’re flustered” joke by getting her flustered to begin with.

Another “Hand of the Author” moment, , but it’s saved by its cuteness—Gallus yet again being on his romantic A-Game, and Silver being, as he says, adorably flustered.

Afterward, we meet Savoir Fare who, during the re-edit, I discovered I had misspelled as SaviorFare more times than I had spelled his name correctly. That’s fixed now. As for why he’s here? Well, I managed to avoid naming the receptionist, but that wasn’t a luxury I was afforded with the waiter character, so I went with the first waiter character I remembered from canon.

One soiree through the bowels of the MLP Character Wiki later, and I found Savoir Fare, who thanks to the magic of animation errors is both an earth pony and a unicorn. I opted for him being an earth pony in T.B.O.L. just because. And since he’s canonically the waiter for the Hay Cafe too, I acknowledge that in-universe with Gallus realizing that fact, calling attention to it briefly, then casually hand-waving it away. I was worried that moment would feel out of place or unnecessary, but honestly, it’s such a small thing, I don’t think anyone cared about it.

And while I might have considered having Smolder or a disguised Ocellus wait on them instead, I’d have to awkwardly explain how they convinced the restaurant to let them get away with that. Plus, it’d also make Gallus and Silver’s argument later even moreawkward.

Speaking of that argument, we get a pseudo-prelude to it with Silverstream proving Gruff’s every concern right by trying to screw herself over by not ordering what she actually wants, just to save Gallus a couple Bits.

Would she have done this had Gruff not talked to her last chapter? Maybe, maybe not. But for what it’s worth, I certainly think she would have.

Either way, Gallus sees right through it and is rightfully peeved off. Took me a while to decide how Gallus would actually respond to Silver doing this. At first, I wasn’t certain if it’d be more appropriate if he let Savoir Fare take her fake order then talk to her about it after Savoir left, but I didn’t want to screw Silver out of a good meal, so I had Gallus feel the same way, stopping Savoir and reprimanding Silverstream as best he can despite their audience.

Silver yields and provides her true order, and Savoir handles the awkwardness by simply ignoring it and heading to get their food ready.

In their absence, Gallus and Silver have Argument #1 of the night—And after they had promised not to get into fights with each other. A shame, truly. Silverstream even tried to stave it off by downing her water—A detail I put it in just to provide some extra movement to the scene à la Smolder’s claw-clenching shenanigans.

Alas, Gallus presses on, confronting her for trying to arbitrarily save him Bits, despite repeatedly reaffirming she needn’t worry about it. And though she argues back, she quickly falls silent and proceeds to have a mini-existential crisis upon realizing she’s yet again falling hook, line, and sinker into the pit-trap Gruff warned her about mere hours prior.

But in her silence, Gallus has his own moment of contemplation, apologizing for me bending the plot over backward so this Bit thing was even an issuenot being fully honest about the prices. Because even if Silver’s a bit wrong for constantly harping on the Bit issue anyway, then Gallus is also a bit wrong for not fully committing to that one cardinal romance rule—be honest with your partners—even if it regarded something as minor as the restaurant prices.

So yeah, in case it wasn’t already obvious, this entire subplot about the Bits was only included to add more weight to Gruff’s claims. In fact, Serenity was the only set of chapters where this issue appeared at first, but I went back to Ch.10(Home) and added in some setup there too, just so it’d seem like I had always planned this out.

Silverstream responds by panicking, reassuring him it’s okay and she forgives him for the whole thing before abruptly shutting herself up, lest she fully elaborate on why she’s “worried.”

Thankfully, Gallus once more reassures he can pay for the meal, even calling back to their argument last chapter, promising he would indeed tell her if he ever had problems with Bits.

And although genuinely relieved to hear that, Silver’s still in the middle of her latest crisis, but she hastily hides it as best she can—which is to say: Extremely poorly—and pretends as if nothing is wrong at all.

Gallus’ response?

Gallus didn’t believe her. She knew full-well he didn’t believe her. But bless his sweet, little heart—Gallus pretended to believe her anyway.

“Good to hear. But if you do need one of my patent-pending, Gallus-brand hugs of ultra comfort, let me know. I know how much you love ‘em.”

Yet another personal favorite moment here, particularly the “Bless his sweet, little heart” part. I just really like how I wrote that line; it never fails to make me chuckle.

But I think this is the perfect note to properly begin discussing my intentions regarding this entire chapter as a whole.

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~ And Onward the Night Continues… ~

Before I came up with the Great Pancake War, I intended this entire chapter to be, from beginning to end, this one restaurant scene.

After spending the majority of T.B.O.L. treating the Gallus-Stream romance as secondary to both their therapy and Smolder’s subplot, I felt we were due a chapter devoted explicitly to the romance itself.

Luckily, I had hyped up the 2ndDate enough that this was entirely possible; I just had to devote an entire chapter to it which was alsoconveniently the plan from the very beginning.

Of course, since I also intended Serenity to be the last chapter, and this was back when I was naive enough to believe the best way to conclude a massive story was with some grand “Two-Parter,” I subsequently vowed to split this chapter into two parts.

This didn’t present much of a challenge since I could devote the first part to the daytime half of the date and all the other non-Gallus-Stream characters.

But the second half? More specifically, the dinner scene? I wanted that one, single period of time between Gallus and Silver to make up the entire chapter. No Princesses. No Starlight. No Gruff. Just Gallus and Silverstream.

I’ve already covered why the Great Pancake War happened and we’ll get to the ending scene later, but I wanted this chapter’s focus to be purely the lovebirds.

That was the challenge, considering I both needed the chapter to be at least 12k words to remain consistent with the other chapters’ word counts and intended to do so with only two primary characters simply talking to each other. But it was a challenge I took upon myself with gusto! After all, I was sure I could fulfill such a task, and if anything, the Great Pancake War just made it easier to do so.

So now that we’ve established why I wanted this chapter to be predominantly focused on only Gallus-Stream, how exactly did I want to handle their overall night out?

Unfortunately, I somewhat already discussed why I had their relationship hit this little snag when talking about the Gruff/Silver scene. And I don’t intend to repeat what I said there since I’ve already repeated myself so often already throughout the “Writing of…”

Thus, let’s discuss how that “What if we don’t work out?” elementaffected how I wrote this first section of the dinner date.

I’ll be blunt: There was no chance in Tartarus Gallus and Silverstream were going to actually break up. I don’t even need to explain why that idea was ludicrous. Didn’t stop me from considering writing a non-canon “Bad Ending” where they did, but that’s a different story.

However, while I knew they weren’t going to break up, and most of you likely suspected the same, that didn’t mean I couldn’t have some fun playing up the tension.

So we start that tension back when Silver arrives at the school, shaken but holding it together. Yet those two times she hesitated when Gallus offered his talon to hold…? Serious question: Who was more subtle there, me or Silverstream?

Silver repeatedly, easily alternates between her casual, joyful self and that panicky, paranoid mess she inevitably breaks down into. It’s quite worrisome, but it’s nevertheless understandable. All that fear of what Gruff said, worry over her mother’s letters, and concern for her and Gallus’ relationship all weigh upon Silver’s mind throughout this entire scene, and it shows. And it’s so great! Gotta love that heart-wrenching emotional drama, am I right?

In all seriousness, I am proud of myself for how I handled this sequence. I may have embraced the challenge, but I did worry I wouldn’t be able to make an entire chapter about just Gallus and Silver chatting in a restaurant. And while they’re far from the only characters present in the final draft, that doesn’t diminish my sense of accomplishment by any means.

What I’m more proud of, however, is how I intertwined all that tension with Gallus and Silverstream. Obviously, they’re both stressed out of their minds, and yet they can seamlessly switch from mundane conversations over their food and back to that sweet, juicy heartbreak.

I guess if I were to summarize my intentions for this situation…? I’d say that rather than try to pretend there was a genuine chance Gallus-Stream would crumble forever here, I instead wanted to convey a sense of apprehensive dread that’d make one wonder, “Aw st! How is this going to end…? ” And I think I succeeded quite admirably.

What I don’t succeed at is getting over that dang O&O campaign. Why, just… Why did I have them bring it up again here, even when I had long-since realized I wasn’t to go through with it!? Just let that abandoned plot point die already, past me, please!

Makes for good conversation filler, I guess. Especially since it let me get Silverstream back into panic mode with her still fearingDiscord intended to get revenge for the box incident, even citing the Grogar debacle as evidence he would try hurting them.

Next, I have them ponder over Ocellus’ presence. I may not have had her or Smolder be their waiters, but I did want them present. Yeah, I say that, but I still considered not having them be there, thinking it’d be morerespectful that their friends would let Gallus and Silver have their dinner in private from everycreature. But no. I wanted to further hammer home the necessity of their friends keeping the date un-interrupted, so Ocellus remains present. Just tucked far, faraway and certainly out of earshot.

But of course, the conversation can’t consist of filler—We gotta get back to the drama, baby! —so Silver takes the conversation about Ocellus and uses it as further fuel for her own fears, lamenting their date would have been ruined had they not taken preemptive precautions.

And although Gallus may have a laugh at the idea Scoop would be stalking them the entire night, begging them to kiss, and although he reassures Silver he’d make their interlopers leave, she’s not the least bit reassured. Sheeven suspects a good half of their fellow students would have been stalking them were it not for the others—A reference to when I considered having exactly that be the case, and yet another reason I decided against the notion.

Yet more signs I have almost no understanding of subtlety with lines like:

“I’m always happy when I’m with you.”

Which Silver is totally saying more to herself as a pseudo-answer to Gruff’s question earlier, yet naturally, Gallus is quick to share the sentiment.

Silver then shot another glance at the Mount Aris portrait and whispered, “That’s all there is to it, right? We just spend time together, have fun, and be happy?”

Where it’s obvious both who exactly is on her mind when Silver’s looking at that picture and what she means by “That’s all there is to it, right?” The “it” blatantly meaning “Being in love/a relationship.”

And then there’s probably the most blatant line:

“Everything is needlessly complicated,” she complained out of nowhere.

That dialogue tag is me laughing at myself again. Because, yeah, without the context that Silver is holding back a nervous breakdown, this line doesfeel completely out of nowhere.

And although Gallus knows about Gruff, he doesn’t yet recognize how badly it’s affecting Silver, so he does the good boyfriend thing and shrugs off that particular comment, encouraging her that they’ll both get better at dating as time goes on.

With that in mind—alongside their earlier promise to not hide things from each other—Silver takes one last moment to contemplate things before she ultimately yields and explains to Gallus what grand assortment of terrors she’s been bottling up all night.

…Or, she would have, had I the plot not decided it wasn’t done tormenting her, throwing Savoir Fare into the scene to prevent her from ending the chapter and conflict early. And while Savoir gives them their order and vamooses, the damage is done.

Gallus tries to get her to talk about her problems once more, but Silverstream just clams up again, accepting the universe hates both her and the idea of her and Gallus being happy. And we even see, again, that Silver’s paranoia really isn’t good for her, causing her to snap at him. A brief moment, sure—a mere three words, even!— but still. To see Silver bark at Gallus like she did, after everything that’s come before, it’s rather horrifying to see. Even more so when she immediately focuses on her food rather than opening up about her woes, despite Gallus’ pleas.

However, this isn’t the time for their true argument; that comes later. So we indeed move on past the awkwardness.

That hour or so of looking up possible bird foods didn’t exactly pay off, but at least we get to see the two enjoyingboth their night out and the meal that spawned their Bit argument.

Fun tidbit regarding this line:

“Thanks for the encouragement,” she said, smiling brightly. “Actually? I probably could if I knew where they got the cheese from. Seriously, this stuff is amazing!”

Silverstream wasn’t going to respond positively here at first; she was going to continue assuring she’d fail at making a good salad. This was to further showcase her paranoia warping her optimism, even for her own well-established culinary skills, and also to give Gallus a reason to keep complimenting her. Then I thought about it and realized it was overkill.

Did Silverstream reallyneed to feel she’d make a terrible salad because of everything else she had going on currently? More importantly, I still hated how miserable I was keeping Silver and wanted to give her somekind of win this chapter. Thus, rather than continue making her suffer needlessly, I compromised: She didn’t think much of her salad skills at first, but quickly realized that, yeah, she could make as great a salad as the restaurant, provided she had access to the same [Insert random ingredient here].

It’s a little thing, but blah-blah-blah, I like the little details; I’ve mentioned this before.

An extra benefit of this change was leading into another of those “filler” conversations from before, and once again, it’s about each other’s food preferences.

The reason Silver doesn’t like beats isn’t because of her paranoia, however. I just figured it’d be realistic if she didn’t like something Gallus did. As for her broccoli line…? That’s more my preferences leaking into the story again; I’m sorry, but broccoli is just reallygood, okay!

Thankfully, we don’t dwell on that too much before getting to one of the standout lines for the Gallus-Stream romance:

“Oh please! You could eat fifty plates of pancakes and never lose that heavenly figure of yours,” Gallus teased candidly.

Yet another line I went back and forth on.

On one hand, I wasn’t sure if it was exactly appropriate for Gallus to say that. Sure, it’s not exactly the most—Ahem!—“Overt” thing to say, but it is the most overt thing either of them have said to the other so far, and I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate for Gallus to say that, implying—however slightly—that he’s been appraising Silver’s “Heavenly figure.”

On the other hand, it’s about dang time Gallus has a line praising Silver’s physical appearance! He complimented her dress earlier, but he doesn’t often compliment her appearance throughout T.B.O.L. And honestly? That’s mostly because I didn’t want to show the two lording over how handsome/beautiful the other was for fear of implying they only liked each other because of something as superficial as their appearance.

Tankfully, I had long-since eradicated any chance for that to be implied and was about to make the notion even more ludicrous by scene’s end, so I figured…? Why not? Silver’s subplot has all been about refusing to bottle your fears and succumb to irrational paranoia, so it was high time I follow my own advice and thus, I let Gallus have that line.

And of course, Silver reacts by having no clue how to react other than to grow flustered—which was totally Gallus’ plan—glow crimson, and gulp at her water. After that though, the conversation shifts back onto Mount Aris because we gotta lead into that Ocean Flow conversation somehow, and what better way to do so than by way of headcanon?

You cannot tell me that after however long the hippogriffs were seaponies, they all found it easy to walk—let alone fly—again after returning to their hippogriff forms. I don’t care how well Skystar or Novo and her guards could do it in the movie—That was only because the writers didn’t want to address the idea of muscular atrophy in a kid’s cartoon. Luckily, this is a fanfiction where I can do whatever I want, so I address it, if only in passing.

But it does lead to a rather interesting conversation, one where we learn Silver only got into painting after returning to dry land—Yet another detail inspired from Silverquill’s video on Griffons and Hippogriffs. Next, we get another nod to Silver and Skystar’s relationship—ah, narrative set-up, how I love you so—with the two making seashell art all the time.

And yet again, Silver’s assurance Starry’s art would be better was driven not by paranoia but by realism. As she says, Starry’s back in Mount Aris still making seashell art, whereas Silver’s over here befriending cockatrices, saving the world, and finding true love. Said true love, of course, assures he’d more than adore Silver’s art regardless.

But since we’re on the subject of hippogriff/seapony headcanon, we may as well go all-in and discuss what they ate, right? And of course, the joke—or rather: The tragedy—is it was mostly just different iterations of seaweed and sea kelp. Realistically, they probably ate other kinds of sea plants, but I’ve no actual knowledge of what other edible plants exist beneath those writhing, sapphire waves, sooo…? More tragic this answer was, anyway.

Plus, it afforded me another chance to laugh at myself over theirswear words, explaining how they came to be in-universe. Makes me wonder how our world’s swears came to be…

But on the topic of creature-wide dietary habits, I had to discuss the meat thing again, so this time, Gallus (somewhat uncomfortably) asks about it. And I choose the tragic answer again: Hippogriffs are omnivores while seaponies are strict herbivores, meaning, as Silver mentions:

“We had no choice but to completely overhaul our entire diet. Yaaay. Thanks, Storm King…” she ended, scowling.

With that annoying ape brought up, the mood is soured again; although, Gallus tries to alleviate the tension like he did back in Ch.4(Optimism), the last time Stormy was referenced. And while Silver is quick to cheer for that miserable pile of rocks’ demise, she’s even quicker to realize how morbid doing that actually is. But while Gallus thinks it’s warranted, as she states:

“But I don’t like doing it. I don’t— I don’t like being angry. Or afraid.”

And isn’t that just the perfect summary of Silverstream’s character arc in T.B.O.L.?

But all this Mount Aris talk can’t be to pad out that word count, so Silver accidentally shifts the topic to the very one she didn’t want to discuss last chapter: Gallus visiting her home.

Thus, the awkwardness returns with a vengeance, not helped when she says, “I wasn’t planning to invite you to Seaquestria anytime soon.” Though I make sure to acknowledge she “Forced herself to confess” that, to make it seem less cold of her to say.

Gallus isnonetheless disappointed to hear that, but he still recognizes she simply doesn’t want to talk about it and apologizes for seeming pushy regarding the subject.

Any other time, Silver would have assured him he wasn’tbeing pushy, but right now, she’s busy trying to simultaneously bottle and not bottle up her emotions. Hence, after a short internal battle, she finds the fortitude to state that, no, it doesfeel like he’s pushing her to invite him to Mount Aris. Sadly, once he apologizes, Silver can’t help but backtrack, assuring that, no, he doesn’tactually have anything to apologize for and the topic isn’t really an issue.

Needless to say, it is a problem, and we’re at the point in the story where I can finally have Gallus stop letting the obvious problem be ignored. So rather than shifting the subject to something better or dropping it entirely like he’s done for the past chapter and a half, he remains resolute, asking yet again if she’s sure everything’s okay; though he does assure he will drop the matter if she genuinely wants him to—All he wants is to help his clearly distressed girlfriend.

“And if I don’t want your help?”

“Why would you not…?” Gallus paused and thought for a moment. After taking a deep breath, he resumed, measuring his words carefully, “If you don’t want my help, that’s okay too. I’ll back off.”

Silverstream blinked, not expecting that response. “You… Would? Just like that?”

“Just like that,” he confirmed, ignoring the uneasy twitch of his wings. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d still be worried, but… I trust you,” Gallus stated, giving her a small smile. “Although? If something is wrong, and for whatever reason you can’t talk to me about it…?”

“Talk to someone about it,” she completed, remembering his words on the eve of their Canterlot performance. “Yeah, I know.”

“…I just want to make sure you’re okay, Silverstream,” he whispered worriedly.

I’d say my intentions with this section are rather clear: Have Gallus try to help Silver as best he can, yet still respecting her apparent aversion to his help.

Gallus really is the best boyfriend ever, isn’t he?

Silver would certainly say so, as it was him genuinely offering to leave the issue alone that gets her to finally crack and reveal the truth of her mother’s letters.

Tragically, we still ain’t discussing Ocean Flow yet. For now, I naturally brought her up to get us back on track for the actual plot.

I briefly considered not bringing Ocean up, thinking it’d be better for Gallus to learn of Ocean’s crap during the Mount Aris arc, but I immediately discarded the idea. Both because the conversation made for compelling drama, and more importantly, if Gallus must be honest about his problems with Silverstream, then she too must be honest with him.

Now, how about Gallus’ reaction to learning Ocean hates his guts, huh? That was something that… Surprisingly, it didn’t take me too long to figure out. He’d naturally be shocked such was the case, but I figured his logical personality would lead his reaction to be more of “Why does she hate me when we don’t know each other?” rather than “Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner, Silver?” or “What did I do to earn her ire?”

Gallus specifically acknowledging how he and Ocean don’t know each other was something I considered giving even moreprominence. Why? Because it really is messed up that Ocean seemingly hated Gallus, despite not so much as talking to him, let alone knowing him, and I wanted Gallus to acknowledge as such. However, this wasn’t the chapter to deal with Ocean Flow’s own emotional turmoil, so I kept that moment brief and had Silverstream deflect as horribly as Gallus did back in A.D.F.F.

And if you’re wondering if I wanted this scene to somewhat reflect that particular conversation between them, only with Silver being the one having a breakdown…? Yes.

But what of Gallus’ reaction? If anything, he seems rather assertive Silver still talk to Ocean Flow and the others despite what her letters said, which is especially odd considering what happened between him and Gruff.

However, rather than get hung up on this issue for hours on end like every other time I ran into a snag in my writing, I decided to keep moving forward, taking care for just what Gallus said on the matter. He doesn’t go “Oh, she’s your mom; who cares what she says, you should still talk to her!” No, instead, his stance is of “She’s your mom—someone important to you—and she both hates us and has forced you to cut her off. That’s not good; that’s horrible.”

Basically, I didn’t want to accidentally have Gallus hypocritically judge Silver for cutting Ocean off but still recognize the tragedy—the horror!—that Silverstream had to stop sending letters to and reading letters from her family. Given Gallus’ orphanhood, and especially given he just managed to rekindle his relationship with the closest thing he’s got to a father, I figured he’d appreciate the situation better than anyone.

In fact, you’ll notice when Gallus is asking about who else Silver’s cut off, he emphasizes Terramar’s name in particular, appalled to know she had to do as such considering how much those two love each other. That was always one of my favorite little details here.

Of course, now that Silver’s opened the bottle, there’s no stopping everything else from coming to the surface, and she begins having that breakdown she’s been putting off. Gallus, thankfully, immediately comforts her, ignoring her pronoun game slip-up and reassuring her to take her time and that they really are happy and there’s nothing to be scared of.

He also does this enough times to feel extremely repetitive on a re-read—three times, in fact! Silver almost voices her true fears, only to give up halfway and for Gallus to comfort her and give her the strength to start talking again…only to give up again and for the cycle to repeat.

I think I noticed this when first writing the chapter but figured it’d be okay since I still felt I had written the dialogue naturally enough that the repetitiveness wasn’t too detracting. Now? Eh. I’m neutral. It’s repetitive to a degree, but the feelings of the scene are strong enough to render the issue moot. Now, Silver saying some iteration of “No, Gallus!” like four or so times later? That’s a touch more egregious.

Anywho, Silver finally works up the courage to admit she’s scared of what will happen if she and Gallus don’t work out. Let’s talk about that!

---

~ What a Horrible Night to Have a Break-up ~

Fun fact: I wrote this entire section, from the start to when Silver kisses Gallus, in one sitting and before I had even startedwriting the second Savoir Fare sequence. I had been plotting out the conversation in my head for a few days by that point and couldn’t wait any longer to write it. Surprisingly, about 90% remained exactly as I had initially written it too, only with a few grammatical adjustments to make things flow better, and some tweaks to make Silver’s decision toward the end feel more natural.

To start, we get some more narrative symmetry with Gallus going all “Yes, it matters!” to Silverstream this time, regarding the obvious: This conversation wouldn’t be happening if not for Gruff. But since that’s obvious, we move the conversation along, quickly surmising that, yeah, Silver and Gallus are happy together now, but not only is she still paranoid, she’s also wondering if they’ll still be happy in the future.

This leads to Gallus confirming he’s got some Bits saved up and that he even has a ring, courtesy of Smolder.

Silver proceeds to have a panic attack—A natural reaction to learning your boyfriend of 5+ months that you’re only just now going on a second date with is considering marrying you—but she also stresses how sweet it is he’s putting any thought at all into a long-term relationship with her. Because it is sweet, and also a little…eugh. Teenagers, these two are, remember; marriage should be a far-flung concept for the both of them.

But if that’s the case, why then does Silver keep asserting she loves him so much and is so happy with him? Well, I knew they wouldn’t actually break up, but them possibly breaking up was the main conflict, so I had to sell it regardless. However! I needed to do so without compromising the characters.

Would it really make sense if Silver just broke up with Gallus by going all, “I’m only doing this because I love yooouuuu…!” or “I just can’t be with you for arbitrary reasons I don’t want to explain because plot!” No. That wouldn’t make sense at all.

Silverstream genuinely loved and wanted to be with Gallus; all Gruff did was help her realize she needed to consider her own well-being and emotions as well, rather than treating Gallus’ issues as automatically above her own. And it’s knowing this that both drives this entire conflict and scares her to death. And unfortunately, nothing Gallus says brings her any comfort.

How can it when she’s such a wreck she brings up the possibility the Legion of Doom or even Sombra could come back just to blow up the world, or worse, that Ocean Flow might crawl her way out of her namesake to come ruin their relationship with her own two flippers.

Funnily enough, Silver was going to bring up more of the shows’ villains during this segment, including the Storm King, but I shortened it since it was longer than necessary. And though he’s mentioned mostly because I just wanted to reference him, I like to think Silver brings up Sombra specifically because Smolder brought him up back in Ch.9(Fear).

And while Gallus reaffirms the Legion of Doom ain’t coming back and Ocean isn’t a crazed super-villain, that’s not the point. The point is Silverstream isn’t his personal therapist, even if she—to a degree—feels it’s her responsibility to be that.

But it isn’t. Gallus has never asked her to be anything resembling a therapist for him—that one joke she calls back to notwithstanding—and he makes it abundantly clear he’s not asking her to be. He just wants Silver to be herself.

And she just wants him to be happy. And even though he currently is, Silver can’t help but worry about what happens next time he’s not, knowing she’ll do everything she possibly can to help rectify that, even at the cost of herself.

Or at least…? That’s what she’s scared will happen. And as she says:

“But I can’t live a life where I’m just scared and paranoid all the time. I already did that once in Seaquestria. I— I can’t do it again.”

I am so, so glad I thought of that line; that’s one of Silver’s—and this chapter’s—best ones! Not as far as Gallus is concerned though, since that’s the line that causes Silver to truly break down crying, officially sinking the S.S.Gallus-Stream.

Blah-blah-blah, I wish I had sold the sheer horror Gallus was feeling here better than I ultimately did, blah-blah-blah. In my defense, I certainly sell Silver’s sorrow excellently right from the get-go, and Gallus’ reaction becomes more developed momentarily.

But now that I’ve had them break up, how do I go about fixing it? It’s not like Gallus can say Silver hasn’t been a glorified therapist to him before; who’s to say she won’t slide right back into that role later in the future, let alone if doing so won’tbring about her own ruin?

Well, it’s simple. I don’t pretend like Silver hasn’t helped Gallus through his issues.

“You…? You were there for me when I needed you most,” he began. “You helped me through so, so much! I’m not gonna— I’m not gonna pretend like you didn’t help me or that I don’t appreciate it. I’m always going to be grateful for that,” Gallus stated resolutely.

Silverstream winced, but she perked up again when he added, “But, Silver? I don’t love you because you helped me through all of that.”

“Y-You don’t?” she asked, completely caught off-guard.

And of course Silver’s dumbfounded by that revelation, no matter how simple it is. She’s been there for Gallus since day one, spending an entire chapter fretting over everything which could hurt him and even being jokingly called “The solution to all his problems” once. Her being his main support network hadto be one of—if not thecore reason he loved her…right?

Nope! Of course, that necessitated giving voice to the true core reasons Gallus loved her. And of all the things to inspire this part, it was this little anime called Aggretsuko.

I’ll keep this brief, but in Aggretsuko, there’s a character, Haida, who loves the main protagonist, Retsuko, despite it being—at the time—entirely one-sided. However, there’s a scene where Haida is questioned whyhe loves Restuko, and his answer is he caught her stealing water(No, I’m not providing context). Ordinarily I wouldn’t have thought much more of that scene, but what really got me to focus on it was a Youtube comment pertaining to it.

Sadly, I couldn’t find the video where the comment came from, so I’ll summarize:

What makes Haida’s love for her feel so genuine is that he’s attracted to the realher. Rather than falling for the fake office worker persona Retsuko puts on, he instead sees her stealing water and in that moment, realizes she too is human(In the metaphorical sense of course). That’s she’s just as flawed as anyone else. And it’s that fact—That for a brief moment, he caught a glimpse of who Retsuko truly is when alone and not putting on an act for appeasing those around her—that causes him to fall head over heels for her.

Needless to say, the original comment was worded much more eloquently, but it made me love that scene, the show, and Haida even more. It also got the gears of my brain turning because now, I knew what reasons to have Gallus love Silverstream.

He loved her not because of everything she did for him back in A.D.F.F. or that she’s beautiful and whatnot. No, he loves her for all the simple, little things.

Silverstream is absolutely enthralled by books on plumbing—Because I just had to sneak in a reference to that joke somehow. She adores sitting there watching the oven bake—Hey, look at that; I made that moment back in Ch.3(Expression) where they do exactly this have even more narrative significance! She bursts out into song during Drama Club for no reason other than she’s too excited to not sing her lines—And boy does Gallus love her singing voice!

Or to put this more eloquently…?

“And that’s what makes you so amazing, Silver,” he continued joyfully. “This world has so many wonderful things about it. A-And you try to find them all, no matter how big or small they may be.”

“Sure, you’re not all sunshine and rainbows,” he recognized, avoiding her gaze as he said it. “But that’s okay; no one is always happy.”

“Even fear and loneliness have to be expressed sometimes,” Silver mumbled, hanging her head regretfully. She then felt his talon gently pull her gaze back up.

“Yeah… But you?” Gallus smiled. “Sure, you don’t like feeling afraid or sad, but you’re never ashamed to feel those things. And that’s what I love most about you, Silverstream,” he elaborated, crying freely himself. “You love who you are, and you love the world around you. And call it ‘cheesy’? But I think that’s beautiful,” Gallus ended serenely.

This right here? As much as I love the Great Pancake War and the upcoming kiss…? I think this part where Gallus confesses why he loves Silver to be the single best scene in both Serenity chapters, and one of the best scenes of the entire story.

It’s even more impactful when you think about the “Sure, you don’t like feeling afraid or sad, but you’re never ashamed to feel those things.” in particular. After all, at the beginning of the story, can you say the same for Gallus? That he loved himself and wasn’t ashamed of feeling sad, afraid, or angry? That’s certainly the case now, but back then…? Yeah. No wonder he has such an appreciation for this part of Silver’s personality.

Speaking of Silver, what about her? Gallus just got done waxing poetic about why he loves her, so surely she can do the same, right?

Well, um…? That’s where I hit another snag. See, if I had planned the entire story out from the beginning, I would have accounted for this problem, but since I was planning it as I went…? I didn’t have anything specific for Silverstream to bring up here.

Gallus had her love of baking, musical numbers, plumbing, stairs, etc. that he could cite off. Silver had…? Nothing, really.

Sure, she could have mentioned how much she loved all his compliments, but what would that prove? That she loves him because he’s constantly saying how beautiful she looks? That’s rather shallow. That she loves hugging and snuggling with him too? Oh, how wonderful—Gallus loves Silver because of who she is, but she loves him because he’s her personal body pillow. And it’s not like I could bring up his athletic abilities since that was never emphasized in the story. Similarly, I couldn’t have her reference his intelligence ‘cause that’d prove nothing more than Silver’s attracted to smart guys.

The only major thing Gallus did around Silver throughout the story that I could use as a reason for why she loved him was the headcrest thing, and I still felt that was shallow. But I still had to include it since it was—as mentioned—the only major thing I could call attention to.

I considered backtracking to the previous chapters I hadn’t yet posted to give Gallus some other unique traits she could reference here, but by that point, it would have felt too late for such things to feel naturally woven into the story.

Thus, I had to settle for some vague: “I like how you smile when you’re reading and blush when we’re snuggling” stuff just to have something more to say(And the reading part was the closest I could get to having her praise his brilliance as a reason she loved him).

You’ll also notice a trend with these things, but I’ll discuss that next chapter.

In hindsight? I really, really should have had her acknowledge how much it meant to her that he occasionally watched her paint. I didn’t think of it at the time, and in fact, I only thought of it as I was writing this section, but man would that have been a great moment! Curse you, missed opportunities! Still here, even toward the end!

Either way, they’ve done it. They’ve broken up. And though it tears at Gallus’ soul, he accepts it. Encourages it, even.

So, if you can’t be happy when you’re with me…? Then I won’t ask you to be,” Gallus concluded, looking hurt beyond measure.

“W-What?” she gasped. “You— You can’t mean that!”

“I… I do. Don’t get me wrong, I hate this!” he snarled, lashing his tail. “I wish you weren’t scared, but…? But I would rather be alone than ask you to be with me, if it meant you wouldn’t be happy.”

I could have probably done more to sell how absolutely livid Gallus was with this particular development, but I think restraint was the better call. After all, this moment is another showcase of Gallus’ character development because Early-Story Gallus would not have handled this situation well. But here, after everything he’s been through, he handles it as best as can be expected. Wouldn’t want to tarnish that by having him throw a tantrum.

Thank you yet again, TexasDragon1995, for making sure I paid attention to how often I used exclamation marks, otherwise this scene would have been filled with far, far more than there ultimately were. Massive bullet dodged there.

Still, these characters are themselves, so despite their mutual heartache, some joviality is found via Gallus immediately taking advantage of Silver’s confessed headcrest admiration.

Such joy can’t last long when the despair is so thick and so raw, but through it all, Silver holds onto Gallus’ talon, not pulling away as she did earlier, lamenting the sheer unfairness of it all, of their seeming “need” to break up for their own sake.

And of course it’s unfair. So how about we rectify that? I reaped all the drama I needed from the break-up, so now it’s time to get Gallus-Stream back together! And who better to do that with than with the one who initiated the break-up to begin with?

Well, it obviously couldn’t be Gallus; it wouldn’t have felt right to have him go: “No, you and I are staying together because reasons A, B, and C.” Still trying to portray a healthy relationship here, so rather than have Gallus try to change Silver’s mind for his own benefit; I instead have Silverstream come to change her ownmind.

Trying not to break down again, Silverstream returned her sights to their talons. And the longer she stared at them, the more certain she was she didn’t want him to let go. She then looked back at Gallus, horrified by the forlorn grimace that had overtaken the bright smile she loved so dearly.

Silverstream gave his talon a firm squeeze, prompting him to look up and meet her gaze. And though his eyes still glistened faintly, there was not a hint of fear or anger in them. Only sorrow.

Sickened by that fact, Silver protested, “This isn’t right.”

Geez, Silverstream really did get all the best moments in these chapters, didn’t she? But to be honest, it did take me a while to get this right. Mostly because I worked backwards.

When planning this scene, I started from the idea of having Silverstream initiate the kiss as a means to solidify she genuinely, truly loves and wants to be with him and is more than willing to work through whatever fear and paranoia she may endure along the way. How to convey that without it coming across as ham-fisted exposition or OOC was…? Eh.

What I chose to focus on was, as is obvious, her holding his talon. With her pulling away earlier to signify their break-up, it was only fitting to do the opposite here to illustrate her desire to remain together. And so I weave such realization into the story, dipping back into her perspective to show the change in it—without internal dialogue, though it was considered.

I suppose it is odd how quickly Silver flips from “I don’t want a life consumed by paranoia” to “Screw my fear; Gallus-Stream forever, baby!” but I digress. I think I handled it relatively well enough. Actually, you know what? Screw it, I love how I handled this moment!

Silverstream taking in Gallus’ reaction only to be met with sorrowful acceptance and heartbreak rather than even a pinch of frustration, fear, or self-loathing—The feelings she expected/feared Gallus would feel. And then for Silver to see his expression and realize that, no, she does still want to be with him. She’s not saying it to appease Gruff or comfort Gallus; she wholeheartedly means it this time.

Would she truly be happy living a life by Gallus’ side? The answer is yes. And though she recognizes her fears are valid, she not only despises feeling them and letting them consume her mind and actions, but she also recognizes something far, farmore important:

“Gallus, we both deserve to be happy!” she asserted. “Not just me. Not just you. Both of us. No more worries. No more paranoia. I just want us to be happy.”

Note how she says “I just want us to be happy” instead of “I just want to be happy” or “I just want you to be happy.”

But despite Gallus’ concerns she’s merely bottling her feelings up again for his sake, she’s not. Not this time. She’s afraid of the future, afraid she and Gallus won’t be happy together, afraid of her mother’s disapproval… But she’s not afraid of being with Gallus. Not afraid of loving him. No amount of fear can taint her love for him; she refuses to let such a thing happen.

And Silverstream intends to prove that to both Gallus and herself. So after a few breaths to gather her courage, she steals Gallus’ “No more cowardice” line, and sucker-punches him with their first proper kiss—One Gallus naturally reciprocates and I give room to breathe with the classic triple ellipses.

I know it’s a cliche for Romance stories to put a huge—sometimes unnecessarily so—emphasis on the “First kiss,” but who cares, Gallus and Silver’s deserved the attention I gave it, for obvious reasons. But of course, I couldn’t resist establishing this was both their legitimate first kiss; Gallus did say he hadn’t thought of anyone else romantically before now, after all, so a bit of awkwardness followed with the “Whiff of beat soup” comment.

But that awkwardness is nothing compared to the sheer, overwhelming joy they both feel in this moment at having even done the act at all.

For Gallus, his elation is shown via physicality, much like Smolder’s anxieties were expressed through her claws. Though for him, it’s his tail unashamedly wagging—Something I debated whether or not I genuinely wanted him to do since he’s part cat, not dog. Went with it because I decided it’d be funnier if his tail did wag. As for why I wanted his tail to wag specifically? Well, it wasn’t like I could say “His feathers instinctively fluffed up” or something similar since nothing like that had been shown prior, and Silver got the infamous “Wing-flare.” Gallus’ tail, meanwhile, has already been shown to flick and whip whenever he’s upset, so I could get away with using it to express his joy here.

Silverstream’s euphoria, however, I wanted to show not through some meager tail wagging—Though, as stated, I did let her be the one whose wings flare open. Rather, I wanted to shelve all that paranoid mess wholly and completely. I wanted, for this brief moment, to grant Silver the chance to exhibit all that unapologetically hyperactive giddiness her canon self is well-known for. Which I write to be her desperation for more kisses from her sweetie—a request Gallus is more than happy to meet. And meet again when Silver wants another one. …And meet once more when Silver wants yet another one.

To quote Sky Ash:

Oh my god. That was fkn cute.

Them working up the courage to kiss again by counting to three was both, so adorable andcringey, and my favorite part of this chapter, by far.

I almost died.

Needless to say, I adored granting these two dorks a moment to be happy and bask in their love. The scene is cheesy as heck, but you can’t deny it’s adorably wholesome.

We do still have a break-up to address, so Silver does that, only for me to make fun of myself yet again by having Gallus acknowledge the rapid change in their conversation topics. Silver meets that with another kiss request, one that results in their beaks colliding painfully rather than romantically. I have no idea if that would have actually happened; it’s really unclear how realistic their beaks truly operate, especially when you consider Silverstream can play the trumpet, but who cares about logistics here when it’s meant to be played for laughs?

Upon recovery, they have a do-over kiss and celebrate how great their kissing game is gonna be once they put in the practice, but since they do plan to practice…? Well, that can mean only one thing. And to be honest? I don’t think whatever words I could say here would truly explain my thoughts, so I’ll simply recycle the words I wrote long ago:

“Does this mean we’re still together?” Gallus asked, frowning in anticipation.

Silverstream held out her talon to him, and he swiftly took hold of it. “I want to be with you, Gallus,” she said in a soft voice. “I’m always happy when I am.”

“And I’m always happy when I’m with you.”

“Thank you.” Silver paused, looking away nervously before continuing, “I… I am still a little scared. But I meant what I said. I won’t let that stop me from loving you,” she reaffirmed even more strongly than before.

“What if… What if you never stop being afraid?”

“Then…? I’ll let you know,” she promised. Silverstream then grinned, pledging, “And we’ll work through it together. I mean? We kinda just did work through it, so…? Yeah.”

Gallus smiled slightly, asking, “You really mean that?”

“Hey, I still remember Cadence’s first letter. Communication!” she sang, tittering as she waved her talons in an arc. “I promise I won’t hide my feelings, Gallus. You promise that too, right?”

“Always,” he assured with a firm nod.

Silverstream let out a quiet sigh of relief and gave him a serene smile.

I hope you guys aren’t getting tired seeing these story excerpts being quoted so often

But with that? This subplot has come to a close. Gallus and Silverstream are still together, and their relationship is healthier than ever. So what do we do next? Leave the restaurant behind of course! It’s served its purpose as the setting for their conversation, so now it’s time to mosey on outside and into the Great Pancake War.

Not before resolving a few things though. Silver sneaking Gallus more kisses for one thing, but more importantly, addressing the fantastic fact Savoir Fare never came to check up on them mid-fight. There are two reasons for this:

#1) I didn’t want to interrupt the flow of their conversation again like I had earlier.

And #2) Silver hated how they seemingly neededtheir friends to keep their date uninterrupted, so I figured it’d be a subtle but powerful moment if, for the most private and serious part of their 2ndDate, no one was needed to keep it that way. That, for once, the “Universe” Silver feared for so long would do everything it could to screw over her and Gallus didn’t do a thing to them.

I know I say I’m not subtle at all, but when I am, dang am I good at it.

Before wrapping up entirely, I wanted to throw Savoir Fare a bone too. He may have gotten the short end of the stick with the night crew not coming in, courtesy of the ongoing war—I had to foreshadow that somehowbefore they left the restaurant—but Silver’s tip is more than enough to make up for it.

Why did I have her do this? The in-universe reason is Silver wanting to discreetly pay Savoir back for not interrupting her and Gallus; the authorial reason is I know IRL restaurant staff work isn’t exactly great, so I thought it’d be nice if the princessprincess’s cousin gave a rather generous tip to someone forced to work two waiter gigs to make end’s meet.

It also made for a great reason to wrap up the Bit issue between them. After their discussion, Silverstream truly accepts Gallus paying for the meal, and Gallus compromises by letting her pay the tip. It’s not exactly a groundbreaking moment of character development, but it is a glimpse into how they’re now compromising on matters they disagree upon. Like they agreed last chapter: No more fighting, only hugs, snuggles, and kisses, with some compromises.

Speaking of which, that strawberry shortcake moment is equal parts to show Silver’s at long last rejuvenated bubbly demeanor, Savoir Fare’s oh-so-subtle waiter skills, the lovebirds simply getting dessert to go because that’d be realistic, and finally, to be another glimpse at how Gallus and Silverstream are compromising more often now. It’s also setup for Silver’s little “Last resort” she pulls next chapter.

The orange sherbet joke was me merely recycling the joke I was going for with their chat over Gallus’ love of beats and Silver’s for apples, nothing more.

Annnd…? That’s about it really. That’s all the lingering things I had left to discuss regarding this scene, so out of the restaurant we go and into…!

---

~ War and Serenity ~

Welcome to the Great Pancake War, all you happy people, and let me tell ya, folks, this one here is a right doozy of a show!

On Team Blueberry, we have Princess Celestia turned Daybreaker, ruler of the sun! And though a lover of cake and all things sugary she may be, as the eldest sister and breakfast baker extraordinaire, she more than understands the true benefit of a healthier form of pancake! And by her side is another who shares in her burning, passionate love for a healthy breakfast, courtesy of his status as an athlete: Drama Club filler character, End Zone!

And on Team Chocolate Chip we have Princess Luna turned Nightmare Moon, mistress of her namesake! And as the younger and more playful of two, there is but one thing she will crave above all others, even her elder: Chocolate! In any form and every form! And rivaling her cravings though not quite surpassing her are her fellow lucid dreaming confectionery connoisseur, Pinkamena Diane Pie, and her part-time party planning protege, Shimmy Shake, armed and riding atop the former’s trademark party howitzers! Also Lighthoof! We’re frankly not sure why she’s here—probably just because End Zone joined the other team and Team Chocolate Chip needed a character to equal out the ranks, but the in-universe reason is likely because she’s on the same team Shimmy joined—But either way, we’re glad she’s here!

And in the middle of all this is one Princess Mi Amore Cadenza turned whatever her evil form’s name is, queen of a crystalline empire and mother to a totally not Poof rip-off, and as the only one of the two without a canon evil form, she remains neutral, supporting both her malformed aunties, off-screen though that support may have been. However, she is quite lucky! For there too is present one extremely unlucky Ursa Minor who just so happens to be the same one a particularly troublesome duo of colts lured to Ponyville once before, and thanks to a missed shot from End Zone, the overgrown bear’s attention is brought upon the war, and its eyes are filled with a lust for blood! And what, pray tell, is more exciting to Cadence—As proposed by Silverquill and believed by many others: A hardcore adrenaline junkie—than mounting such a viscous beast and riding it off into the dead of night like Mabel did Aoshima, complete with Link’s infamous “Hyaah!”? Answer: Nothing! And thus, the poor Ursa Minor is forced into the role of Cadence’s trusty steed, and the two disappear henceforth and away from the plot, lest Cadence succeed where the no longer petrified Scoop did fail!

And what of our intrepid, young lovers!? They exited the safe haven of the restaurant mere seconds ago only to be greeted by such absolute chaos that even Discord himself stays clear away from it—Though that could probably be due to the author not wanting to include him to keep the character count low, especially since it’d be hard to determine which side he’d support, either that of his fellow sugar lovers or his only other sensible romance option that’s not his primary waifu, Fluttershy.

Well, Gallus and Silverstream are shell-shocked of course, as anyone would be! But where the latter would at least have been utterly devastated to see such horrors occurring on what was meant to be a peaceful night out with her sweetie, they’ve had character development! So rather than be upset such events disturbed the tail end of their date, they find themselves quite eager and willing to join the fray, even if it means facing against each other in the very outfits conjured forth by their lovely yak friend!

And perhaps, that is where this story might have concluded had there not still been other characters to acknowledge nor a dance to witness, so instead, the howitzers rise from the earth, unleashed from their “For party howitzer emergencies” cache and unleash both a deluge of sweet chocolaty goodness upon the world and one terrified Drama Club President before the lovebirds!

But upon meeting the gazes of our two main heroes, what does this Eavesdropper do and say? Well, our protagonists are not the only ones to receive character development, Vellum Codex has as well, so rather than make snarky, overly critical comments, or intrude upon their privacy by asking how their date went, the actor, without a second thought, urges them to run away, to save themselves before the Great Pancake War consumes all…! Just like it does him in the next breath, courtesy of one Peppermint(Patty) Goldylinks—Another neutral party, if her particular mixed ammunition of chocolate and blueberry pancake is any indication, or perhaps she too serves the Blueberry Empire, given the only additional soldier they’d have then would be End Zone compared to the Chocolate Chip Kingdom’s Pinkie, Shimmy, and Lighthoof!

Patty’s allegiance matters not, however, for once her eyes fall upon our adorkable duo, all thoughts turn to alerting her fellow Eavesdroppers, that they may barrage the two and learn all the juicy gossip! But alas, such plans are postponed by one Grandpa Gruff, injured by all sides but still alive and well!

But let’s be honest here, folks: The very presence of the buzzard is a lucky one; he wasn’t going to be present here originally! No, instead, he was going to use the war as a distraction to barely escape the wrath of the Eavesdroppers with his life, finding himself on a lonely hill cresting the town of Ponyville—The very one the Eavesdroppers were to be imprisoned upon in the original script. But more importantly, he would not have been alone! For Smolder, Ocellus, Starlight, and all the others had failed to catch one lone Eavesdropper, and they had successfully recorded the entirety of the 2^nd Date, including the break-up!

But who was this extremely fortunate master of hiding and eavesdropping, you ask? Why, it’d be none other than a tiny, fluffy ball of adorableness who was so used to hiding from the trained eagle eyes of his many caretakers that he could hide himself anywhere, from potted plants you wouldn’t look twice at to the rafters Gallus is known for always forgetting to address! It was the one! The only! Gavin!

Though old enough to understand spying on the date wasn’t a great idea, Gavin was far too young and innocent to truly know better than to listen to Gruff who requested his aid not out of malice or some misguided obsession with knowing how his favorite ship’s 2^nd Date went! Rather, Gruff wanted Gallus and Silver’s date recorded specifically for if they wanted to look back upon it later in life and savor the wonderful memories they made during it.

Sadly, such an act could not be spared the wrath of this scene’s grand overhauling, but perhaps that was for the best. It wouldn’t have done well to be so fervent about Gallus and Silver’s 2^nd Date being completely Eavesdropper-free only for the worst of the bunch to succeed in their endeavors, especially given the break-up conversation! And luckily, in this particular idea’s place we get an even better one: Gallus and Silverstream encountering Gruff after he so royally screwed with them both.

With this being a predominantly comedic scene, we don’t have too time for major dialogue exchanges, but the lovebirds make it abundantly clear they shall have words with the old fool later, and they will be loud! But even with that in mind, Gruff still pounced Patty before she could alert her fellow Eavesdroppers and attempted to forewarn the duo that their greatest Eavesdropper of all is free and running amok.

Unfortunately, “attempted” is the key word there, for Patty—Because the author truly did lament not granting her greater significance throughout the story—does to Gruff what we’ve all wnated done to him for some time. Not quite the most optimal comeuppance, but at least it’s something, even if the greedy vulture is still whiny enough to demand compensation for such assault. Though at least Patty delivers some extra kicks to his cringing form for good measure.

But now, without Gruff to hold her down, Patty pulls a Scoop and announces the presence of the lovebirds, and both warring factions immediately charge forth upon them, but to their annoyance and Gallus and Silver’s relief, Glim-Glam arrives in the nick of time to do what Trixie did for her back in “To Where and Back Again”: Scream “Run!” at the top of her lungs and buy our heroes time to escape.

And they do so, fleeing back through the restaurant without hesitation, each beckoning the other with their favorite nicknames, “Milady” and “Milord” “Sweetie” respectively.

Also, no, Redsopine, I will not tell you how the war started; I’ll leave that to your and everyone else’s interpretation.

Now that the Great Pancake War has been fled and left to ravage the town of Ponyville, we find our lovebirds cresting yet another hillside—Because I really couldn’t get over the idea of having someone on a hillside at some point in the chapter for some reason—only to come across the same lake they and their other friends had come to in their debut episode(s), “School Daze.” Why? Fancy narrative symbolism mumbo-jumbo. Also, it made for a good spot they could dance in private that had some form of connection to the Student Six specifically, other than the Treehouse of Harmony which would have required a late-night trek through the Everfree.

Wish I could have explained what Saddle Lake was without making it come across as heavy-handed exposition, but sometimes that’s the price you pay for your fancy narrative symbolism mumbo-jumbo.

Regardless, the two are happy to be there and together, with Gallus proving once more how much of a smooth talker he is, praising her angelic beauty both in and out of her dress. We also get this exchange:

“Definitely,” he agreed. “I think we could all do with a lake party after the crazy night we’ve had.”

“Worst part is it’s probably only going to get crazier from here…” she muttered warily.

“And the best part is that no matter how crazy it gets, we’ll always have each other,” Gallus consoled, giving her a soothing smile as they approached the bank.

Silverstream met his gaze and happily grinned back. “I guess that’s worth the crazy, isn’t it?”

“I certainly think it is.”

Which, there ya go! There’s the main message of this entire chapter!

Next, we finish off the particular tangent that is Silverstream’s humongous mane; despite all Yona and Smolder’s efforts, fleeing the war turned it into an unkempt mess, but much to her blushing glee, Gallus immediately undoes it, confirming her suspicions he didn’t care whether her mane was braided or not; if anything, he prefers it when it’s not. Afterward, they have yet one more exchange of “Are you okay?”s and “When I’m with you I’m the happiest creature in the world”s, but such a dialogue is not nearly satisfactory to Scoop who pulls a Sweetie Belle—something I’m surprised no one commented on—and explodes from the bushes with lamentations of their lack of kissing.

And why, pray tell, does this happen? Well, other than this being what the entire Eavesdropper subplot was setting up and so Scoop can prove Gallus’ “Do it!” guess right, it’s to give Smolder and Ocellus a chance to show off their skills in keeping the 2ndDate uninterrupted.

And to show off how much of a crazed shipper Scoop is, she manages to buck herself free of Ocellus’ bugbear form, only to swiftly get pile-drived by Smolder once again so Ocellus can have her little epiphany and not-so-subtly encourage Gallus to take Silver out for a dance along the lake’s edge. Why did Ocellus need to do this when Gallus could have easily thought of the act on his own? Uhhh…? Just because. It’s a little dumb how the scenario comes about when you think about it too much, but it doesn’t last long, so whatever.

Once this distraction is done, Ocellus teleports them all into the heart of the Everfree Forest which you might remember—Ocellus and Smolder certainly do—Scoop was terrifiedto trek through at night, back in Ch.9(Fear). Bet you didn’t think that detail would get a callback!

That leaves Gallus and Silverstream alone to laugh the situation off rather than bemoan their date being interrupted—yay, character development! Silver then ponders over Ocellus’ “Open mic night!” remark, but Gallus merely approaches the lake, dodging the question terribly.

I cannot for the life of me remember where I heard this from or what anime it was talking about, but I distinctly remember reading a comment reprimanding, I think it was Netflix…? For not licensing “Fly Me to the Moon” for a particular anime, citing multiple thematic/romantic reasons why it was so very important that song be played over the protagonist confessing his love to his love interest. Why was this so important here? Because the way the protagonist—as far as I’m aware—confesses his love is by first saying what Gallus says here, “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” and then clarifying it to mean: “I love you.” Care to guess where I got the inspiration for Gallus saying that exact line?

Anywho, I then poke fun at myself—or more accurately: Ocellus—by having Gallus acknowledge “Open mic night!” was her subtle, little way of encouraging the two to dance.

A moment of disbelief and setting-up for her wanting to go to karaoke is all Silver spares that revelation before excitedly pouncing upon Gallus and celebrating his newfound—relatively speaking—dancing knowledge. And naturally, the two wait all of a triple ellipses before immediately taking each other’s talons and stepping in time to the silence of the night.

Eagle eyed readers might have noticed that, despite all the grief Ms. Hoofer Steps gave Gallus over looking down, Silverstream does exactly that. Which is even funnier when you remember Silver knew what Gallus was talking about when he acknowledged Ms. Hoofer Steps hated that, implying she attended her dance class once before and got the same scolding!

Of course, I have no idea how to dance, let alone write two characters dancing. So after some generic lines about them letting each other twirl, I default back to their dialogue, providing an in-universe explanation for why dancing wasn’t listed as part of the 2^ndDate schedule while giving Gallus another reason why he chose that restaurant specifically: Its ballroom events. And with that factoid presented, Silver swiftly declares they have to go back to that restaurant when the event next happens—yet more proof she somewhat got over the Bit issue from earlier.

Although they’re both against the idea of going on Hearts and Hooves Day—Silver knowing everyone will be there and dreading anything even remotely similar to a Royal Ball, and Gallus immediately nope-ing out on any event that crowded and claustrophobic.

Some more generic twirls later, and I laugh at myself by pointing out how they’re just dancing around in awkward silence, but guess what? Is it that Great White Prime saw this moment too and decided to provide a list of awesome songs they could dance too in the comments under this chapter?

Well, that, and that list will be down in the Author’s Note—Thanks again, Great White Prime! Love Song for a Vampire is still my favorite of the bunch!

But also, this part wasn’t going to be here originally. Why wasn’t it? Because they weren’t originally going to sing Smile, Smile, Smile. So what changed and got me to put this scene in? I was listening to the song when I was editing this portion and loved it enough to sneak in Silver singing some of the lyrics. Then when I added her line about how much Gallus loved the song too, I decided to have even more of a laugh and have him sing along! Now they weren’t just dancing together, they were singing together too, and my heart just melted as I was writing it.

And at last, the coup de grace:

“Hey, Gallus?” Silverstream happily whispered.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Gallus said serenely.

They then shared another kiss.

All things considered, even if this was the final chapter of T.B.O.L., there’s no better way I could have ended it. Which is why I just lazily copied this for the Epilogue(Love).

Also, did you catch the adjective choice? Gallus said something serenely, and Silver whispered something happily? And Gallus’ main character arc was about overcoming his trauma to find peace and serenity; whereas, Silverstream’s arc was about overcoming her paranoia and rediscover her optimism and happiness? Get it? Get it?

And I was doing so well in the subtlety department for once too.

---

And that was Ch.12-13(Serenity).

It goes without saying these are some of T.B.O.L.’s best chapters, and certainly two of my favorites. For a while, they were legitimately my favorites too, and it’s not hard to see why.

We get everything: Drama, romance; comedy. The Drama Club gets one last major appearance, Gruff gets to do something right for once, the Princesses cameo, Starlight gets to be awesome, Smolder makes up for her silent treatment nonsense by curb-stomping Scoop; Discord cameos too…! A lot happened in these chapters, and I think we can all agree the most important thing was Gallus and Silverstream working through the last of their major issues, closing the book on the latter’s paranoia, and emerged still together and happier than ever.

So even though the Ocean Flow drama remains, the fun times are upon us at last, and for now, the lovebirds can finally live life, be happy, and savor their love, and I definitely made that clear next chapter.

But all that aside…? I think, Ch.9(Fear) notwithstanding, these two chapters are the ones I’m most proud of. Strange, I know, especially considering they’re neither what I’d consider the best chapters nor my favorites. But nevertheless, I pulled out all the stops for Ch.12-13(Serenity), and it definitely shows in how great the dialogue, character interactions, and romance plot are.

Which… Somewhat bums me out, considering these are the two least viewed chapters of the entire story. I get why there’s such a harsh viewership fall-off—accursed unnecessarily long word counts being just oneof the main problems—and Ch.7(Pride) isn’t exactly what I’d call a standout chapter… But come on! Ch.12-13(Serenity)!? Really!?

The long awaited and admittedly over-hyped 2ndDate chapters where Gallus-Stream work through one of the relationship’s biggest issues, featuring guest cameos from the three Princesses who all engage in a Great Pancake War, all the Student Six working together to ensure Gallus-Stream’s date goes smoothly, and Grandpa Gruff acting as a terrible but effective couple’s therapist!? Of all the chapters of T.B.O.L., theseare two that are the least read!? Aughhh!

That’s not in any way an insult to anyone currently reading this who did read those chapters, of course; I want to make that abundantly clear. I’m thrilled to know you guys read and loved those chapters and my story! I’m just whining disappointed some of the chapters I put so much work and effort into and feel so much pride for are evidently one of the least re-readable chapters of the story.

Ah well. I guess I shouldn’t be too whiny about that, all things considered. After all, next is the Mount Aris arc, and let’s be honest, we all know those chapters are leagues better than Ch.12-13(Serenity).

Obligatory Google Doc Link.

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[Summer Script]

~ Additional Tidbits ~

— 1) In this line:

Ignoring Cadence’s snickers, Celestia bewailed, “Oh, I don’t know? I could have been relaxing on the beach? Participating in that pie-eating contest? Hiking up Mount Everhoof?”

Celestia was originally going to say “Participating in a pie-eating contest” but I realized that wouldn’t make sense since…. What pie-eating contest? So I switched “A” to “That” to clarify a pie-eating contest was being held at Silver Shoals that night.

— 2)

“H-Hello, Pinkie,” Celestia said, hurriedly thrusting the binoculars into Luna’s grasp. “How are you doing tonight?”

I still get a kick out of how Celestia immediately gives Luna the binoculars to try to shift blame onto her; real sisterly of ya there, Celly.

— 3)

“Why couldn’t she have pulled the wrong lever?” Luna groggily asked, shaking the stars from her vision as she cautiously stood up. “Um? Tia? Cadence? Where are we?”

I was going to describe it as Luna having those fanged duck/geese/swan things from S9 swirling around her head cartoon-style, only to realize that’d be too silly and dismiss it. I settled for a generic “Shaking stars from her vision” line instead. Get it? Luna, the Princess of the Night, seeing stars? Ey? Eyyy?

Also, while we’re on the topic of this particular line, Kuzco is Best Disney Princess. No question.

— 4) Cadence’s line:

“Well, she can suck it,” Cadence wearily cursed, stumbling to her hooves.

Was going to initially be far harsher—If I remember correctly, it would have been along the lines of either: “She can go screw herself” or “Buck her!”—but I didn’t think Cadence, even hopped up on that sweet, sweet crazed-shipper juice, would say anything that virulent toward Pinkie. Though a holdover of this is my choice of the verb “Cursed.”

— 5) When Starlight first emerges from the shadows to greet the Princesses with a warm “Welcome!” I always imagined her saying it exactly how she and the others said it back when she was running Our Town. I would have emphasized that more but didn’t want to unnecessarily bog down the line.

— 6) I, and pretty much everycreature else, may not have wanted the others to spy on Gallus and Silver’s date, but I didn’t think it’d be realistic if they all got caught preemptively like Scoop was. Thus, they all got caught at different intervals—Patty during the bowling segment, and Shimmy and Lighthoof at the tail end of the art exhibit. When the others got caught and how, I’ll leave up to you.

None of them overheard their conversation at the Hayburger joint, however; I’ll confirm that. Whether or not some of them at least got in the Hayburger joint? Now that I’ll leave to you.

— 7) The reason the barrier was styled after Cozy Glow’s magic magnet was originally an idea I considered more to explain why the Princesses couldn’t break through it. I considered not drawing that connection briefly, not wanting to drag out the word count to unnecessarily over-explain the barrier, but after some thought, I decided it was worth it for the same reasons Starlight says in-universe.

After everything canon Cozy Glow and T.B.O.L.’s “Cozy Glow” put the Student Six through, it was only deliciously karmic that one of her world domination schemes was used to ensure Gallus-Stream had a wonderful, peaceful night out. She’s absolutely rolling around in her petrified grave because of it, and boy is that satisfying to think about.

— 8)

“You may be alicorns, but magic is magic. And I know magic,” Starlight bragged.

Fun fact: “Do you?” was going to be at the end of this line, and the former pegasus(I think…?) Cadence wasnot going to be happy to hear it. Didn’t include it because, as hilarious as Cadence’s reaction would have been, it would have dragged out the scene longer than necessary.

— 9)

“You were already intruding just by spying,” she snarled, cutting Luna off. “Nothing you say will change my mind. And nothing you say will make me let you out. Deal with it.”

Since I understood I could accidentally stretch this entire Starlight vs. The Princesses sequence for far, far longer than it deserved to, I wrote this line the way I did specifically to stop myself before that happened. There may have still been more scene to go, but that particular conversation I did not want to drag on for any longer than necessary, especially with the rather wordy restaurant scene later.

— 10) This is a really minor tidbit, but the line:

“Sister, you get back here this instant and help us blast down this wretched barrier!”

Was originally going to be written as:

“Sister, you get back here and help us blast down this wretched barrier this instant!”

I don’t know why I changed it, let alone why I remember it, but I did say I’d talk about everything, so there ya go.

— 11) So, with Gallus and Silver’s first proper kiss being such a massive moment for the two and for the plot as a whole, I needed to—you know?—set up both the kiss and its importance. Thus, this segment:

Silver tittered as she reached for her water. “Do what though? That’s the real question,” she said, raising her cup only to remember it was empty and lower it back down, frowning sadly.

Gallus pushed his untouched glass over to her. After she gratefully accepted the offered water, he speculated, “My guess? Kiss you.”

Silver choked for a second, and after taking a few steady breaths, she agreed, “Yeah, that’s probably it. I mean… We haven’t actually done that yet.”

“Not on the beaks, anyway,” Gallus clarified teasingly.

Establishing that while they have technically kissed and are huggy and lovey with each other, neither of them have instigated a genuine kiss yet. From this moment alone, you could probably tell said kiss was inbound; though this time, I find my usual lack of subtlety not nearly as detracting as it often is.

— 12) This is still one of my favorite lines from Silver in the story:

“Whatever makes you happy,” Silver commented, shutting her eyes and letting out a quiet groan. Subtle, Silver. Subtle, she reprimanded herself.

I don’t have much to say about it since you know exactly what this line is used for, but I wanted to highlight it anyway.

— 13) Yet another example of the Gallus criticisms affecting the story:

“Hey, if my girlfriend wants a hug, I’m giving her a hug,” he declared. “And there’s not a single pony on this planet that could stop me.”

“Oh? Even if hugging me would tarnish your reputation as ‘The Cool and Mysterious Part-Time Savior of Equestria’?”

“Hugging you would be worth it,” Gallus said unabashedly.

Would canon Gallus really be so open about hugging anyone, let alone his girlfriend, in public? No. But this is T.B.O.L. Gallus who’s a total sweetheart, so of course he’s not going to feel the slightest hint of shame giving Silverstream a hug if she wants/needs one. That said, this is still Gallus we’re talking about which is why, directly after this line, he brags about how he’s “A big ball of adorable fluff.”

— 14)

“Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that, sweetie.”

This was originally the only instance of Silver calling Gallus “Sweetie” in all of T.B.O.L. until the Mount Aris arc. Then I realized I wanted the “Sweetie” joke to be a thing and retroactively added it earlier in Ch.12(Serenity, Part One) as well as him blushing then.

— 15)

“Okay, hold up!” Gallus chuckled. “I have several questions.”

Why, yes, this line is based on this clip:

[Summer Script]

~ Additional Tidbits, continued ~

— 16)

After shooing away memories of Silver Frames’ Art Gallery, Gallus vowed, “Hey, even if somecreature did barge in our date, I’d just make ‘em leave.”

I only brought up Silver Frames’ Gallery here to add more weight to Silver’s concerns. After all the build-up and drama, the last thing I wanted was for her fears to seem devoid of any understandable basis and subsequently, her nearly breaking up with Gallus as completely irrational and OOC.

— 17)

“Your point?” she coldly questioned, aggressively eating another bite of salad.

This line always makes me smile; I can’t help but laugh, imagining Silverstream chewing a clump of salad and giving her best pout.

— 18) Keeping up with the theme of Gallus respecting Silver’s desire to not discuss him meeting her family, I have him say this:

“Don’t be. If I’m prying into something that’s none of my business, then I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

— 19)

“Okay, hold on! I remember you said something happened between you two, but…?

Behold! A retroactive addition that’s the result of another retroactive addition—That being: Silver acknowledging something happened between her and her mom back in Ch.10(Home) but not wanting to talk about it back then either.

— 20) In this line:

“There must be some kind of reason why she would be so against us being together,” he reasoned tranquilly.

I only used “Tranquilly” there because I didn’t want to use “Calmly” again when I had already used that so much throughout the chapter. Sadly, I couldn’t think of anything better to swap it for in the re-edit, mainly for the same reason.

— 21) Another thing I did to clarify what Silverstream was feeling during the break-up scene was have Gallus straight-up ask:

“I-I don’t understand. Are you mad? Happy? Scared? What!?”

And have her answer:

“Gallus, I’m not mad, I—” Silver’s voice gave out for a second. Upon recovering it, she confessed, “I love you, Gallus. I love you. And— And when I’m with you, I feel like the happiest creature in the world!” she announced with a smile.

— 22)

“I’m still worried about you. I’m not sure I ever stopped worrying about you.”

Oddly, I always remembered having placed the emphasis on “Stopped” rather than “Ever” in Silver’s line here, and even now, I still instinctively read the line as though the emphasis was on “Stopped.” I don’t remember why I placed the emphasis on “Ever” instead, but since it works as-is, I didn’t change it in the re-edit.

— 23) Remember how Gallus acknowledged how Silver isn’t always “Sunshine and rainbows”? The main reason I did that was to further clarify that while he absolutely adores her bubbly attitude, that too isn’t the full reason he loves her. Wouldn’t want to accidentally imply Gallus only loves Silver because she’s usually so happy, bouncy, and optimistic all the time, would we?

— 24) I’m so glad I managed to sneak in quotes from Silver’s side of the story—Yona’s quote to her about fear being necessary for courage, and Silver’s line to Smolder about fear overshadowing her love. It really makes her side of T.B.O.L. feel that much more plot-relevant and excellent.

— 25)

“Silver, you’re not a cow—”

Dumb thing about this line: I specifically ended the line at “Cow—” because I thought it sounded funnier that way. “No, Silver! You are totally, completely, 100% nota cow!”

I’m very easily amused, okay; it’s probably another reason why I’m so bad at humor.

— 26) FanficReader920 caught quite a few of the references I sprinkled throughout the story, including the one to Squidward screaming “Future!” So, because of that, I figured I’d throw in a reference specifically for them to comment on, and thus sneaked in this:

“Hey, I still remember Cadence’s first letter. Communication!” she sang, tittering as she waved her talons in an arc.

Which, for those who don’t know, is a reference to another Spongebob joke/meme. I was thinking, “Aw yeah, I can’t wait for FanficReader920 to catch this one!” but they, uh, never commented on it. They never even commented on that particular chapter. I felt a tad awkward keeping that joke in as a result, especially since it’s pretty obvious I forced that reference in.

— 27) The line that truly spawned the notion of the Great Pancake War was: “DEATH TO ALL WHO OPPOSE BLUEBERRY PANCAKES!” Nothing more, nothing less. Just that one little sentence that I randomly thought up and chuckled at.

— 28) Full disclosure, I did not mean for this line:

“No thanks to you!” Gallus snarled, holding a protective wing around Silverstream.

To be a callback to what Gruff said to Gallus back in Ch.11(Closure), and in fact, I didn’t even realize that little bit of narrative symmetry until I got to that moment during the re-edit. So yeah! That worked out great!

— 29) Fun fact: When Scoop screams “NOOO!” upon being teleported away, when she first starts screaming it and when her scream echoes back from the Everfree, both lines have exactly twenty os.

— 30) Regarding the whole “Serene” and “Happy” adjective mechanic, I included an inverse of it throughout the story as well. Typically, whenever Gallus was noted as being “Exhausted” or similar, it was to highlight moments he was backsliding in his character development.