The Writing of The Bonds of Love (Chapter Ten: Home)

Alternate Title: Griffonstone — For obvious reasons. I didn’t go with it since I still preferred naming the chapters after their main themes.

Ch.10(Home) is weird for me because even though it’s one of the best chapters of the story, I feel far more passionate for the next chapter. Though I suppose that’s only natural when this is clearly a glorified Part One to Ch.11(Closure)’s Part Two. And yes, that does mean this was another chapter split incident, as are the next four chapters.

Luckily for me, once I began working on the Smolder chapters I decided to post chapters on the 25^th of each month instead of the 20^th, giving me some extra writing time. And since said chapters were so short and easy to write, I finished them long before I had even come close to the deadline for posting Ch.7(Pride), meaning I had three chapters ready to post by the time I started working on this one.

That certainly helped me relax a little, but even better, writing the Smolder chapters was so much fun that whatever lingering burnout I had from Ch.6(Stagnation) had at last been abolished.

Long story short: I had gotten way ahead in my writing, was in a much better, healthier headspace, and was eager to delve into yet another important part of T.B.O.L.: Gallus and Gruff’s relationship.

However, before I could truly touch on that, I had another, related subject to discuss first. So while Ch.11(Closure) is the one I prefer between the two, make no mistake, I love Ch.10(Home) just as much!

Without further ado, let’s get into it!

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~ Confronting the Past ~

I first needed a reason for Gallus to even consider visiting Griffonstone, and since I wanted there to be a Hearth’s Warming chapter, that reason became the Blue Moon Festival. And though it might have been interesting to have Gallus decide himself to go back for the holiday…? I didn’t think he would without provocation, hence Gabby’s letter.

But given how wordy a writer I am, I realized it’d be best to cut to the chase and discuss Gabby’s request rather than bog the pace down by showing Gallus receiving and reading it. And since it had been a while, I opted to have one final Starlight session too and use it as an introductory sequence to the chapter’s main conflict.

Now, I knew full-well we were going to Griffonstone anyway, but that didn’t mean Gallus was gung-ho about the idea.

Though the personality issue got nixed, it still influenced how I intended to portray Griffonstone. Even in the show, it wasn’t exactly a great place, and I planned to expand on that and showcase just how thoroughly horrible and downright toxic it was, both in general and for Gallus specifically.

However, I also planned to have Gallus reconcile with the place. But suffice to say, for said reconciliation to feel genuine—let alone acceptable—it required I tone down said toxicity. Furthermore, I couldn’t have the characters travel to Griffonstone until well after Gallus’ recovery and Smolder’s subplot, meaning the Restoration Project had ample time to make Griffonstone better. Better enough that any lingering negative traits I wanted to show would realistically have been stamped out.

Both these issues contributed to a rather unfortunate fact: I couldn’t properly show how terrible Griffonstone truly was. Thankfully, I could still imply it.

And one way I went about that was with how no one—literally no one—wanted Gallus to go back. But plot has to happen, so Starlight simply digresses, trying to not-so-subtly encourage him not to go, while still acknowledging and respecting it’s ultimately Gallus’ choice.

And though Gallus wouldn’t want to go either, he’s had enough character development to accept Griffonstone isn’t literally hell, and be in a fear healthier place since he was last there. So while he may have horrible memories of Griffonstone, it’s not as if he can’t make new, better ones there. Like it or not, Griffonstone was his home once, so shouldn’t he try giving the place a chance?

Matters like this IRL tend to be far more complicated than that, but this is a story where the rules of reality are determined by yours truly. So I have Gallus consider returning even though he probably shouldn’t for his own sake. Though that doesn’t mean he’s convinced yet; it’s why he went to Starlight in the first place.

That’s not the only service this scene has, however. We also get a brief update on how Smolder’s doing, some setup for the Smolder/Silverstream subplot, confirmation Silver still feels guilty for everything—Contrary to Gallus who understands he’s not at fault for Smolder’s breakdown, even if he does wish he had helped her sooner—and lastly, an explanation for why the 2^nd Date still hasn’t happened.

I’ve already acknowledged that’s because l wanted that to be the final main chapter of T.B.O.L., but I needed to justify it in-universe, so I had Gallus and Silver simply hold off on it so they could be there for Smolder. That said, we were closing in on said chapter, so I finally let Gallus finish planning it and set up him asking Starlight for help with it, as well as hinting at Starlight’s plan to help Silver and Smolder talk to each other.

Afterward, we move right along into the next scene with Silverstream showing Gallus her art portfolio. Say it with me everyone: I wish I had done more with this. Silver showing her art to Gallus, Gallus getting lessons from her on how to draw/paint better; maybe even a scene where they try working together on the same painting…? Sadly, the plot was far too busy to allow for any small scenes like that. Until now that is!

Sadly, at this point, I’m still trying to maintain that speedy pacing, lest I drag out the word count. Resultantly, we enter the scene at the tail end of Silver’s art showcase. But hey, it’s something.

We then learn Sandbar and Yona are heading to Yakyakistan for the holiday and subsequently won’t be involved in the arc, get more of Gallus being a smooth-talking sweetie-pie, have a laugh at Silver’s expense—Hey, she wasn’t great at painting at first either; it’s only fair I acknowledge that after doing so for Gallus—and learn Gallus makes the best second best muffins brownies in the school.

They then converse over Silver’s first gift painting to Smolder—A glorious starry sky. Why? Because Silver knows now how much Smolder loves the stars. And if you think it’s also a callback to how Gallus said Silver liked painting the stars to Smolder last chapter…? Well, um, I’m not sure. I can’t remember if I intended that callback or not.

But there’s another reason Silver went out of her way to paint that portrait for Smolder: She still feels guilty about everything, and the painting, while obviously a Hearth’s Warming gift first and foremost, is also partly Silver’s attempt at making up for everything that happened.

Thankfully, Gallus is there to be a supportive boyfriend, asking if she’ll be okay when she gives Smolder the painting and encouraging Silver to spend time with her over the holiday break to hopefully make amends. Said encouragement also serves the purpose of segueing into the beginnings of the Ocean Flow arc which we’ll discuss later.

Regarding how Silver angrily admits Ocean’s part of the reason she isn’t returning home for the holiday…? I was undecided at first but ultimately kept it. Not just to foreshadow that subplot, but also to give Gallus a hint something was wrong there. But of course, this isn’t the Mount Aris arc, and Silver’s nowhere near in the mood to talk about her mom, so I have her ask him to drop it, and Gallus, ever the great boyfriend, respects her request and drops it immediately.

After some 2^nd Date chit-chat further confirming those chapters are on the horizon, Gallus brings up Gabby’s letter. And although Silver assumes it’s to do with Gavin—because I felt it necessary to remind everyone he existed and figured it’d be a nice detail for Silver to remember his name—she quickly learns the truth and is rather displeased to say the least.

This was a rather interesting conversation to work on; even though none of the characters would realistically want Gallus to go to Griffonstone, Silverstream was a tad different regarding this.

As she says, Gallus hates Griffonstone, so the idea her boyfriend would go gallivanting back is quite upsetting to hear, especially given how the place traumatized him. However, she also understands why he wants to go and wouldn’t want to discourage him. Thus, Silver is torn between being a supportive girlfriend and—to put it bluntly—a friend with common sense, and I decided to write her as such.

It’s why Silver has this line:

I don’t mean to sound paranoid, but if that place will only upset you…?”

To make it clear this isn’t a case of Silver’s fears getting the better of her; this is her acknowledging Griffonstone isn’t healthy for Gallus as best she can without outright stating it. Yet in the next breath, they have this exchange:

“No one can be happy all the time,” he said darkly. “And in this case, it’s less about me being upset by Griffonstone, and more about finding reasons not to be. Moving on. … Isn’t that better?”

Silverstream thought about it and uncertainly agreed, “Yes. It is. …”

As mentioned, Silver understands why Gallus wants to go and knows she can’t exactly stop him, so even though she’d prefer he stay in Ponyville with her and fully admits as such—because screw the “Lying to protect your significant other’s feelings” trope!—she metaphorically steps aside and let’s Gallus make his choice. Even if it’s not the choice she preferred.

Now to explain why she can’t come with him… The authorial answer is she would completely derail the plot and confront Gruff on his attitude the instant he made her sweetie sad. The in-universe explanation, meanwhile, is Gallus didn’t want her to come and risk being exposed to even a fraction of the torment he once went through.

But as we see later, Silver doesn’t like not being around to help Gallus feel better 24/7, further foreshadowing that particular issue…

Before we move on, you might have noticed something about this particular scene, regarding Gallus and Silverstream’s behavior toward each other. More specifically, moments like these:

…I think Smolder’s really gonna like it,” he promised, placing a wing around her.

“I hope so,” she wished, leaning into his embrace. …

Gallus gave her a comforting nuzzle, saying, “That’s okay, Silver. …

Silver crooned in acknowledgment, nuzzling him back.

…Pluuus!” she sang as she snuggled even closer. “Since you’re here too, we can spend the whole holiday together!…

“You are so sweet,” she complimented, nuzzling his cheek. “I really hope you know that.”

“Don’t worry,” he said, nuzzling her back. “I know.”

A moment of silence passed while Silver simply held him close, rubbing his back comfortingly.

This is where I start showing the physicality of their relationship more. Given the time-skip, I felt it necessary to show that, even though they haven’t had their 2^nd Date and have been focusing more on being available for Smolder, they were still progressing their relationship. So while they started out blushing just by merely hugging one another, they go to sneaking each other a kiss or two, and now, almost two months later, they’re fully comfortable being in each other’s embrace.

Yet another reason I’m so proud of how I handled their romance.

While we’re still on the subject though, I’ve a confession to make. Remember how Gallus learned how to dance because he knows Silver loves dancing? You do? Good. I didn’t.

When I started planning the 2^nd date chapters, I completely forgot about including a dancing scene, despite having foreshadowed it back in Ch.5(Normality). I only remembered I needed to write that after reading the line “We’ll have our chance to have a slow dance!” in Matthais Unidostres’ comment on Ch.6(Stagnation). So, thank you again, Matthais Unidostres, for unknowingly reminding me I needed to write the dance scene.

Unfortunately, I had already ironed out how I wanted the 2^nd Date chapters to go by this point. There simply wasn’t room for that dance scene since, if I were to include it, it would only be fitting for it to be the chapter’s end scene. But there was no way I was going to not include their dance Not after all that set up and especially not when it would be an absolutely magnificent Gallus-Stream scene.

Though you likely expect I “turned my frustrations into a plot point,” I couldn’t quite do that here because it wouldn’t make sense for Gallus to conveniently forget to include dancing in the date plans. So, I went a craftier route and gave Gallus’ perfectionism-induced procrastination a significant consequence: He missed the deadline for the restaurant’s dancing event.

Okay, technically, it’s also a result of the Smolder situation, but had Gallus not procrastinated, he and Silver could have scheduled their 2^nd Date ahead of time before everything happened.

Honestly? I’m not sure if this was the best call to make regarding this issue. I wrote that deadline problem more as a knee-jerk reaction to realizing I had forgotten about the dance; it probably would have been easier to simply not acknowledge it until the 2^nd Date chapters and hand-wave it away with a casual “I was saving dancing for the third date” from Gallus or something. Either way, they still danced, so it’s an insignificant issue, all things considered.

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~ All Aboard the Terror Train, Toot-Toot, Wee! ~

Plot was going to happen whether the characters liked it or not, so even though I let Gallus provide one last feeble “I’m only considering going,” he goes anyway. Naturally, Silver and Smolder continue trying to convince him not to, despite Gallus’ assurances things will be fine. Good on him for being optimistic, but yeah. Things won’t be fine.

I got All Aboard’s name from the MLP Wiki and had him impatiently shuffle them along because, again, I knew if I let the scene continue any longer, I’d bloat the word count. So Gallus hurries onto the train while Silver and Smolder wave him off—Smolder even gets the “Just— Just be safe! Okay?” line because that was so much better than if she had simply said, “Toodles” or something.

But once he’s out of view, they instantly drop the encouraging facade and mutually agree they shouldn’t have let him go. And Smolder was indeed correct; Yona, Sandbar, and Ocellus would have agreed Gallus shouldn’t have gone. Sadly, they’re elsewhere and can’t affect the plot, and now, so are Silver and Smolder. At least, in regards to the Griffonstone plot; they at least have their own side story to make amends during.

And while they’re off to Sugarcube Corner to do exactly that over cocoa, we return to Gallus’ perspective and see he’s clearly not as confident things will be fine as he was with the girls.

From the very beginning, Gallus and Silverstream have both had instances of internal dialogue, and here is when I put a twist on it: Using the amount of internal narration they had to show Gallus or Silver were in a terrible place emotionally.

When they only had short bursts of it, they weren’t exactly perfect but weren’t complete wreckseither; meanwhile, them having whole conversations with themselves about something was a glaring sign they weren’t okay.

This is most obvious when you notice how much internal dialogue they have throughout the story steadily decreases over time until they both only have maybe two or so lines of it each during the 2^nd Date chapters and none whatsoever in the Mount Aris arc and Epilogue(Love). Yet here, where Gallus is clearly not in a good headspace, he talks to himself for a full 5+ minutes.

This wasn’t something I intended from the beginning, hence why this detail’s not remotely obvious, but nevertheless, I thought it worth mentioning because I wasn’t kidding—Gallus has a lot of internal dialogue in these two chapters.

And the reason’s obvious. I couldn’t show Griffonstone being horrible, so I had to imply it through Gallus’ outright terror of re-experiencing the horrors of Griffonstone. And while that implication is enough for some, it wasn’t exactly ideal.

At the end of T.B.O.L., Johnerose126 acknowledged the story’s scenery, as well as Gallus’ reasons for not liking Griffonstone, wasn’t quite up to snuff. And while I’ve explained why I couldn’t fully go into detail pertaining to Griffonstone, that doesn’t mean their criticism is invalid. In fact, I fully agree with it.

I desperately need practice with world-building and scene setting. Characters and dialogue I handled well, but regarding the tiny details of Griffonstone and its culture? I did squat, and it leaves Griffonstone feeling like this nebulous “Bad place” Gallus once lived in, rather than a genuine, proper kingdom with its own culture and society.

There’s a reason I never discussed the Blue Moon Festival more extensively; I couldn’t think of anything. Nothing about it was established in the show, so I had nothing to work with, and while a good world-builder would have a field day with that; I faced a brick wall. I legitimately couldn’t think of anything other than that one line about there being decorative banners made of feathers, and the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it detail about the decorations near the entrance to Griffonstone being the traditional, Hearth’s Warming-style stuff while the Blue Moon Festival-style decorations were hung further into the kingdom.

All that to say, compared to how I handled the characters, romance, and overall story, how I wrote Griffonstone feels rather low budget.

I still like how I handled Griffonstone, however. I wish I had done more with the Blue Moon Festival and whatnot, but concerning Griffonstone itself…? I prefer how I implied its old terrors rather than directly showed them.

I could have easily given Gallus a line about someone assaulting him, or have a random griffon try to mug him, etc. But I think, for the story I was telling, it was better to show how horrible Griffonstone was through the characters’ reactions. Gallus has had so much development by this point—had helped Smolder last chapter with everything she was going through—that for him to preemptively crumple at the mere idea of having a bad time…? It says more about what he went through than I ever could.

Thankfully, all that development means Gallus takes a breath and reminds himself that, no matter what happens or what anygriff tells him, he owes Griffonstone nothing. He can vamoose the second anygriff messes with him, and he doesn’t have to feel guilty in the slightest.

With that in mind, he goes up to All Aboard, both to have some brief banter, and to make sure he can leave if and when he needs to.

But there’s another reason I had this exchange here, and it’s to further characterize Ponyille as opposed to Griffonstone. I had to have Gallus return to Griffonstone, but I didn’t like the ideaeveryone would willingly let him go, despite his obvious anxiety over it, just because it was “his choice.”

Thus, All Aboard. And although he initially believes Gallus would enjoy returning to Griffonstone for the holidays—and subsequently escape the chaos of Ponyville he knows all too well—the stallion swiftly learns such is not the case. If anything, Gallus seems to want nothing more than a reason to not go back. And even though he doesn’t know a thing about Gallus’ situation nor is it really any of his business, All Aboard makes absolutely certain Gallus will be okay.

Regardless of whether or not Gallus is a passenger, if there’s the slightest chance he won’t be okay where he’s going, All Aboard, the adult, isn’t going to let him take one step off that train.

So Gallus is given one last chance to decide what would be best for him. To accept he can’t reconcile with Griffonstone and his past there and return to Ponyville to forge ahead and make himself a new, brighter future in his true home…? Or to risk the heartache and face his past and trauma head-on in order to move on and make peace with his past, former home, and griffon relations.

It’s ultimately Gallus’ choice, and he makes it, fully accepting the consequences of it, knowing he can leave if he needs to.

All Aboard simply tips his hat in acknowledgment and allows Gallus to leave, wishing him a happy Blue Moon Festival while Gallus wishes him a happy Hearth’s Warming.

Gallus then gets hit pointblank with the cold mountain wind his winter clothes do squat to protect him from. And yes, this was another implication for how bad Griffonstone once was for Gallus—It wasn’t enough the griffons weren’t pleasant to him, the physical environment itself was awful as well.

Thankfully, Gabby’s there to keep him company. Although, for a while, I considered having no one show up to greet him—Either everygriff was too busy or completely forgot today was the day he’d arrive. Then I realized what a wasted opportunity that was and plopped Gabby into the scene.

I don’t have much to say about Gabby; what you see is what you get. I probably toned her hyperactive nature down too much—writing perpetually upbeat characters is another thing I struggle with—but otherwise, she was a delight to write and read.

She and Gallus have a brief chat, poking fun at myself for having Gallus spend a good few minutes in the train talking to All Aboard. Gallus then opts for honesty—Because Gabby’s not somegriff Gallus likes lying too, especially since she’s the one who asked him to come back—and asserts he won’t be staying too long and will be spending the holiday proper back home. And although disappointed, Gabby considers Gallus having returned at all a win.

We then further establish Gavin’s character by acknowledging his excitement for the library. I wish I had shown the letter he sent Gallus concerning it, but I compromised by clarifying it was the most recent letter he sent. And naturally, a new library being built means an opportunity for some fun Twilight “Book Horse” Sparkle humor, at the expense of Gavin. Gallus, meanwhile, is just shocked to hear the library’s book count managed to break triple digits.

But we haven’t the word count to dawdle, so Gabby beckons Gallus to follow her and see the new and improved Griffonstone. And though he momentarily pauses to reminisce on how dreadful the place was(Again), he swiftly snaps out of it, realizing how paranoid he’s sounding. Mostly because I didn’t want this moment to drag on any longer when we’ve already had plenty of “Gallus frets over going to Griffonstone” already, and also because I vehemently hated the idea of rehashing Silver’s paranoia arc for Gallus—I wanted their character arcs to be unique to them. Doesn’t stop me from poking fun at myself regarding this via the very word choice of “Paranoid,” though.

Once up the mountain to Griffonstone, we see the efforts of the Restoration Project. And how better to present those efforts than with blatantly obvious attempts to make Griffonstone a tourist trap.

Installing a guard rail along the mountain path was obviously for safety reasons, and of course Twilight’s donations went to that—It was probably her suggestion, though I’ll leave that up to your interpretations. But the “Welcome to Griffonstone” sign? The cheesy tourist pamphlets right there at the entrance archway? The mountain tours? Leave it to griffons to find a way to make bank off their kingdom’s own Restoration, am I right?

Gallus may be understandably cynical about it, but Gabby’s on top of the world. Of course, even she briefly hesitates awkwardly once Gimme Moore is referenced and with it a little indicator not everygriff is on page with the Restoration efforts, but Gabby brushes past that and goes right back to gushing—This time about Gigi’s willingness to help with the aforementioned tours.

Gigi is yet another way I implied Griffonstone’s previous horrors. Firstly, by having Gallus warn that Gigi would try stealing from their funds since he himself is a victim of her swindling attempts, and secondly, by having Gabby—Gabby, of all creatures!—drop the optimism and all but outright say, “Yeah, we know she’s a thieving, little cheat.”

But I also recognized the time was not for even more emphasis on how vile Griffonstone was; now was the time to show it recovering. Thus, Gabby explains Gigi’s only request for doing the tours was for her house to be repaired. And while the Restoration Project did a few things that scream “Come one, come all! Behold the new and improved Griffonstone(Admittance fee: Ten Bits each)!”, their intentions were absolutely genuine. Also, Gabby’s a part of the team, sooo…? Naturally, the team would go all out and gift Gigi an entirely new home to call her own—A feat which causes the scheming, card-counting, Bit-swindling buzzard to break down in tears of joy and give her full, unbridled support to the Restoration.

Floored by this revelation, Gallus has not even a minute to recover before Gabby pulls him along and into Griffonstone proper. And I’ll just let Gallus speak for this particular moment:

Griffonstone is celebrating! Gallus acknowledged, no longer able to even remotely think otherwise. Actually celebrating! He looked around himself, and while there weren’t many griffons walking the streets, those who were all looked…happy. Genuinely happy.

For crying out loud, somegriff put out an inflatable snowgriff, and nogriff vandalized it to be a petty jerk. If nothing else, that proves Griffonstone has become a far better place than the hellscape Gallus grew up in. However, it simultaneously shows Griffonstone was once such a hellscape for Gallus to nearly faint at the sight of mere holiday decorations…

Nevertheless, there’s no longer any doubt Griffonstone has become better. But can Gallus ever truly move on and forgive the kingdom which once left him a broken, self-loathing mess? Can he truly reconcile his memories of the past and embrace the new, happier present, perhaps even helping Gilda, Gabby, and others build an even brighter future? Can Gallus truly accept Griffonstone as his home?

Stay tuned and find out after this brief intermission…!

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~ Desserts With a Side of Family Drama ~

The dessert conversation is purely an opening to this scene and is unimportant otherwise; though, Silver’s favorite being an ice cream float may or may not have anything to do with me personally loving those things myself. Also regarding the setting, I was aiming for that quiet, cozy feeling of being inside, all warm and toasty, while the cold, relentless winter weather is trapped outside, beating against the windows—Ya know, that kind of ambiance.

But as established, my scene-setting skills suck, so none of that was communicated effectively. Luckily, it’s not the true focus; that’s Silverstream’s efforts to amend fences with Smolder.

So after weathering a brain-freeze, Silver asks herself how to do exactly that. And thanks to her character development and a few remembered words from her boyfriend, she doesn’t worry herself into an absolute mess over everything that happened; she understands full-well she’s not the reason Smolder was so afraid, but she does acknowledge she should have done more to help.

“But how does one go about apologizing for that whole debacle?” was something I asked myself and had Silver ask herself also.

I pondered for a good while about how to continue the conversation from this point because, seriously, how would Silver apologize for leaving an obviously distressed Smolder to continue stewing in her own paranoia? My aversion to bloating that word count, however, spurred me to stop overthinking things, compromise, and have Silver realize she should simply apologize upfront.

And to provide some in-universe context for this realization, I had Silver do what Gallus did earlier in the chapter: Contemplate what her friends would advise her to do. Naturally, the others would say she didn’t need to apologize at all, except Yona who I acknowledge—because I can’t stop laughing at myself—would just give the same “Just have hope everything will be okay” spiel she so frequently gave Silverstream throughout T.B.O.L.

The end result was Silver concluding Smolder would tell her to buck up and get the apology over with which is exactly what she endeavors to do.

But we still need to lead into said apology realistically, so Silver begins by asking how Smolder’s doing, to which she responds not with a casual, “Yeah, I’m good; how about you?”, completely ignorant to what Silver’s really asking her. Rather than this obvious first draft reaction, Smolder instead catches on immediately and answers honestly.

She’s fine. She just hates the looks their professors keep giving her.

I didn’t have time to foreshadow that revelation earlier; thus, Silver got that line about Rainbow avoiding calling on Smolder in class. We then springboard into further discussing Smolder’s present progress.

You already know I lament not doing more with Smolder, and I have nothing but my own inexperience to blame. Because although I put so much thought and effort into the Smolder subplot, I completely failed to plan what I’d do with her after the last chapter.

Would you believe this scene was originally the only scene that followed up on Smolder after her breakdown? Because it was. Silver’s second painting, Starlight getting them together, and their subsequent conversation next chapter…? None of it was going to happen.

It was just this one scene between them where we’d get an update on how Smolder’s doing—She’d be doing significantly(And unrealistically) better—and Silver would apologize. There’d be some tears, a hug, and maybe a joke or two, but that was it. Smolder was fine. Perfectly fine. Even though she was and is literally afraid of her own extended lifespan and for months was scared witless Gallus was considering suicide… Somehow. Someway. Smolder was right as rain.

That sound stupid and unsatisfying? Good. It was.

Why then would I plan on this being the only Smolder scene between these two chapters? For one thing, when first writing this scene I didn’t plan to split the chapters yet and wanted to hopefully avoid that if possible—which I learned wasn’t upon checking the word count after the library scene.

More importantly, after writing this scene and checking over it, I realized Silver didn’t get a chance to properly apologize to Smolder. As a result, I planned to have another, smaller scene where she could, which led to Starlight’s plan to get the two together to bake some holiday confectioneries. And since I didn’t think it’d be realistic for Silver to sit on her flank doing nothing between this scene and the next one despite knowing Smolder still isn’t okay, I slipped in the second painting subplot.

So yeah. Smolder wasn’t going to be nearly as upset as she ultimately was, but since I knew that would be both utterly unsatisfying narratively and disrespectful from a mental health perspective, I bit the bullet and let Smolder’s issues still be present, if mildly subdued due toover a month and a half of constant counseling sessions.

Oh, and cheer-leading. Let’s not forget cheer-leading; Shimmy certainly wouldn’t let Smolder forget again. Although I couldn’t include Shimmy in this chapter, I wanted to show she’s still involved in this subplot and is ensuring Smolder doesn’t isolate herself again. None of the characters would have let that happen, but I wanted to emphasize this for Shimmy especially. After all, Silver’s not the only one who left Smolder to wallow in her paranoia…

Smolder’s also regularly attending Science Club again with both November and Ocellus helping her catch up on everything she missed, and though it isn’t mentioned here, she and Gallus have taken up stargazing lately too. All-in-all, Smolder may still have plenty of issues, but returning to her normal, day-to-day routine is certainly helping her quite well—a fact Silverstream finds immense relief in.

Said relief is unfortunately derailed when I fail the Bechdel Test by having Smolder bring up Gallus and whether or not he’s okay in Griffonstone.

Silverstream, with all her character development, is still worried but is at least capable of being optimistic, knowing and trusting Gallus knew what he was doing. What she’s not so optimistic about is Gruff, who they both know is the only reason he left.

I wish I had further emphasized Silverstream’s anger at Gruff being brought up, but I didn’t think it was too important at the time and also couldn’t think of anything more eloquent than the dialogue tag “Silver answered coldly.”

Also, if I may interject a brief rant here: I don’t know what I was thinking—assuming I was thinking at all—but wow! My dialogue tags start sucking with this chapter. Every single time you see one it’s always structured the same:

Either: “Dialogue,” Subject → Verb → Adverb.

Or: “Dialogue,” Subject → Verb → Adverb. “More Dialogue.”

It’s so… Boring! They clarify who’s talking as they should, and at least I’m actually using them. But honestly, that’s the problem: They’re dialogue tags that exist solely to be dialogue tags, not to enhancethe scenes or further characterize evercreature’s moods/actions. Thus, half of the chapter’s tags lack any semblance of pizzazz, and you can definitely tell which ones they are. Because if a tag isn’t paired with a proper, adverbial phrase—or an additional paragraph along with it—then it’s literally just the speaker’s name, the verb, and a brief, superfluous adverb.

And though I remember noticing this problem back when I first wrote the chapter, I clearly didn’t do anything about it because goodness gracious! Was it monotonous seeing this issue crop up so often throughout this chapter during the re-edit, made worse by the overabundance of exclamation marks—Once again, a big thank you to TexasDragon1995 for pointing that issue out. From what I remember with this chapter specifically, I ended so many lines with exclamation marks to emphasize the characters’ emotions without having to use more of that repetitive “Subject → Verb → Adverb” structure…? But I should have just gone with the repetitive dialogue tags.

Seriously, what was my grammatical thought process during these few chapters?

But it’s good we bring up the dialogue tag situation though; it leads us into a similar topic I’ve wanted to discuss for a while now.

First, however, I want to mention Smolder taking that napkin and ripping it apart as she’s venting? Not gonna bother lying; that was 100% completely ripped off of Infinity Train, more specifically when Tulip does the exact same action in the flashback we see in “The Cat’s Car.”

I didn’t think too much of that moment at first, but then I watched Uncivilized Elk’s reviews of those episodes where he pointed out how excellently written that gesture truly was, and it made me appreciate it—and the show—that much more. And me, the absolute hack I am, slipped in Smolder doing the exact same gesture to vent her own frustrations.

But this isn’t the only time Smolder’s had moments like this though. The physicality of the characters was yet another thing I wish I had fully utilized, simply because of how much extra characterizationit would have allowed for.

Actions like Silverstream bucking, Gallus purring, etc.? Those are things I should have had them do more often. I put a decent enough emphasis on their avian biology—Their wings flare, Gallus combs his headcrest all the time, and there’s the occasional preening comment—but those aren’t the only parts of their bodies.

Silver’s mane and hooves receive no attention until her makeover in the 2^nd Date chapters, and Gallus’ tail only gets one or two lines scattered throughout until I have it start wagging in those same chapters. And while Gallus’ talons get plenty of emphasis, it’s not usually regarding him doing things with said talons, not counting the aforementioned headcrest thing. Gallus mostly just stares at them forlornly, mentions liking having digits, and next chapter digs his talons into the floor in anger, but otherwise…?

To say nothing of Sandbar, Yona, Ocellus, and the Drama Club who don’t get a lick of that. For crying out loud, I showcased Starlight’s crimson magic thing but did nothing with Yona’s braids?

Ocellus is the one I feel suffered the mostthough since there were so many ways I could have played with her changeling physique. The only time I do is when she transforms into Rainbow Dash for a quick joke. Seriously, imagine how interesting it would have been if, in Ch.7(Pride), I had added a paragraph like this:

In her panic, Ocellus also failed to notice the cicada-like hum emanating from her frantically vibrating wings. And though it was certainly grating, Gallus had lived two doors down from her long enough to learn how to drown the noise out. The same could not be said, however, for the occasional passerby who shot a confused, annoyed look their way before decidedly turning and trotting away from their project.

It may not have added too much to that scene and chapter, but it would have still added something! Just think about how much I added to Smolder’s scenes through things like this because if there’s any character whose physicality I nailed, it was Smolder.

Smoke comes out of her nostrils all the time, she fiddles with her tail occasionally; she bares her fangs whenever she’s furious or yelling… The only parts of her anatomy I didn’t do much withher horns and wings, but I more than made up for that with how often I use her claws.

She breaks her fork and pen in Ch.2(Reprieve), crushes her cup in Ch.8(Tension), shreds the napkin in this chapter; pointedly examines them when talking about what she’ll do to anyone who interrupts Gallus and Silver’s 2^nd Date in Ch.12(Serenity, Part One)… And it’s becauseSmolder’s not remotely careful with her claws that they determined what books she read in Ch.9(Fear).

Furthermore, almost every scene Smolder’s in sees her doing some physical action. In Ch.1(Transition), we catch her as she’s speeding past the others to hunt down Gallus and interrogate him about what happened in A.D.F.F. herself, and the broken pen and fork thing from Ch.2(Reprieve).

Then her first interaction with Gallus post-silent treatment in Ch.5(Normality) has her agree to a race with him, and in Ch.6(Stagnation), when Silverstream’s talking to her, Smolder spends most of the scene tidying up her book hoard, and even pauses mid-scene to grip and fiddle with her tail anxiously.

Then there’s how she excuses herself from the Nightmare Night party to go wash her face and try to restore her composure only to then breach Silver’s personal space and grab hold of her shoulders to glare at her—I even sneaked in a line about her slit pupils. And later when Gallus confronts her in the Treehouse, her first instinct is to bolt out of there, and it’s only when Gallus takes her claw does she stop. And of course, the napkin moment here and how she wrestles Scoop to the ground later…

Point is, Smolder’s the most physically active character in the entire story, or at least, her physicality receives the most attention. And I’m glad it was Smolder of all the characters I did this with. To think it all started purely with me wanting to take advantage of her dragon status with the smoking nostrils thing and having her break a pen. But after those moments, it naturally evolved from there to where T.B.O.L. Smolder’s primary tell is clenching her claws. In fact, I even once considered having her clench her claws so hard she accidentally drew blood, but I figured that was too excessive and decided against it almost immediately after considering it.

My favorite moment with Smolder’s claws by far has to be how she left cracks in the Treehouse’s balcony railing in Ch.9(Fear) from gripping it so hard. And it’s mostly because it’s one of the most subtle moments in all of T.B.O.L.

In one short, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it line, Smolder breaks a part of the Treehouse; the fact she’s able to do so at all shows how strong she is thanks to being a dragon, but this only accentuates the fears she has regarding her own dragonhood and the longevity it entails. But most importantly, once she does crack the railing, she looks at it. And though it isn’t given much prominence, you know exactly what she’s thinking when she looks down at the consequences of her anger and fear. She damaged something they all considered a treasured safe haven, built from the remnants of what was once something—someone—she called her friend.

She hurt her friend.

And the fact I barely called attention to this at the time is a miracle, considering how blatantly unsubtle I am. But I am calling attention to it here because it deserved to have its praises sung, and I couldn’t do it last chapter, wanting to save talking about it for when I talked about her physicality as a whole.

And as I’m writing this part of the “Writing of…” I’m now realizing how weird it is I’m doing it during this particular scene of all scenes, especially since I have other things I should be talking about.

Things like how I wanted to show Silver wasn’t any less worried than Smolder was, despite her character development, by giving her the line:

“It’s going to be alright, Smolder.” It has to be. I can’t… It— It just has to be! she kept herself from adding.

And how that line was going to be:

“He’s going to be alright, Smolder.” He has to be. Because I don’t know what I’m going to do if he isn’t… she kept herself from adding.

But I had already ripped off the “Language!” joke from Age of Ultron and didn’t want to steal any more lines from Captain America.

And then there’s the next line where Silver states she and Smolder will help Gallus feel better if he comes back a wreck, which continues foreshadowing the Gruff/Silver scene. And how the line after that, with Silver quoting the Ch.2(Reprieve) Generosity lesson, was another callback, and one I made because of Smolder’s connection to said lesson thanks to a certain unseen poem, hence why Smolder feels marginally better upon being reminded of it.

But of course, there’s another, far juicier part of this conversation we’ve yet to discuss.

So, Ocean Flow! … Won’t be discussed until the Mount Aris chapters, but for now, this moment is here to set up that subplot.

And also emphasize Silver and Smolder haven’t fully mended everything yet since they freak out over the fear of accidentally upsetting the other—Smolder clarifying she didn’t mean to judge Silver for not wanting Gallus to meet her parents, and Silver rushing to assure she understood and took no offense.

The “…I stopped reading her letters after I saw that one.” part was a retroactively added line, though. Silver had only been postponing reading Ocean’s letters, only truly stopping after reading the letter in the next chapter. But I figured it did more for Silver’s character to have stopped reading them first, think about it, and give her mother one more chance to not endlessly rag on Gallus. Only to then be blindsided with the prince guy comment.

But while we’re still on the subject of parents, Smolder’s are the reason she didn’t go back home either.

There was no way I was going to leave Smolder’s family in the dark about her breakdown. And regardless of the whole “You molt; you’re on your own” thing we learned in “The Molt-Down,” there was only one thing Smolder’s family would realistically do upon learning their precious, baby girl/little sister went through what she did…

Bring her home.

They obviously weren’t going to do that because of plot, but it did lead to Smolder coming to a rather unnerving realization: If she had gone, she likely wouldn’t have come back. Because as much as she loves her friends, the terror she feels knowing she’ll watch them grow old and die while she lives on until a time when she’ll no longer remember their names or faces…? It wasn’t worth it. Was it…?

Well, for Smolder at least, it was worth it. Thus, she stayed in Ponyville for the holiday, no matter how “simpler” it’d be to return to the Dragon Lands. Smolder’s made friends in Ponyville. Friends she loves more than anything. They’re her family now too, and no amount of fear will make Smolder leave them behind.

That doesn’t mean it’s easy, not helped whatsoever by all the extra attention she’s garneredbecause of her breakdown. Luckily, Silver’s here and she refuses to leave Smolder alone this time. And though Smolder hates the overused “We’ll be with you in your heart” platitude, deep inside, she understands it’s true. And it’s far easier to believe that when Silverstream’s there, hugging and consoling her as best she can.

But that’s enough drama for now; we still have next chapter to finish dealing with everything, and we need to get back to the Griffonstone plot. So Mrs. Cake appears, asks if they’re alright, notices Smolder was crying, opts not to pry after Silver covers for her, acknowledges the blizzard’s still going strong, and urges the girls hurry home before it gets worse.

They both agree and bolt into the whiteout, having at least partially made up and both equally determined to never leave each other again.

Oh, and before we move on, about this line from Silverstream…?

“Guess the Weather Management Team really wanted to let it snow this year, huh?”

let it snow

I’m as subtle as a bag of rocks.

---

~ The New Griffs On the Block ~

With the Silver/Smolder scene done, it’s back to the main event where we get even more foreshadowing to the blizzard as we enter the new and improved Griffonstone Library.

You already know what I’m going to say; in this case though, what I regret is how I described the Library. A big point about it was it looked spectacular compared to what it once did, and yet…? I did a very underwhelming job selling that point.

Granted, it’s still being finished. The construction is done; all that’s left is filling the shelves and adding some extra décor. Nevertheless, it’s a very bare-bones description.

What I truly pictured for the library was this grand, hollowed-out tower. An emphasis was supposed to be placed on its verticality; the griffons have wings, so naturally, they’d design the library with flight in mind. It’s why it has four stories; I didn’t think any more would be realistic for their budget but felt three stories was too low for a building you were supposed to fly in.

There would be this giant open space for griffons to soar, both up and down the floors or from one side to another, and I even considered having there be no staircases in the library consequentially. Why waste much-needed Bits on building stairs when evergriff can fly and those who can’t can simply ask the librarian for help finding their books.

I did away with the staircase thing ‘cause, as neat a detail as it would have been, I didn’t think Gilda would let that happen. Even in Griffonstone, there have to be griffons too young or too old to fly, and it wouldn’t do well to construct the library to screw those over for circumstances beyond their control.

As for why the library’s massive, vertical, open space went without any descriptive fanfare? I, uh, couldn’t think of how best to explain it. Even now, when doing the “Writing of…” and the re-edit, I couldn’t think of how best to perfectly describe it. Which is a darn shame, because—in my head, anyway—the Griffonstone Library looks awesome.

Returning to the characters, I’m still using their reactions to Griffonstone’s Restoration to imply how terrible it was prior. Thus, Gallus is hit square in the face with culture shock and collapses into a chair to ride it out.

But while he may have once held onto his pessimism concerning Griffonstone, refusing to see how good it truly is now, he’s far enough along in his arc to recognize Griffonstone is leagues better than it once was, and openly says as such, praising Gabby, Gilda and the others for a job well-done.

He is bitter it only happened after he left though. And I won’t get into it, but this particular line is something inspired by my own life experiences.

That bitterness quickly vanishes once they’re joined by a frazzled Griselda who wasn’t there to greet them at first since I wanted the scene of Gallus and Gabby discussing his reaction to the new Griffonstone alone.

Going to Griffonstone meant determining what characters would show up. No duh. :derpytounge2:

Gilda, Gabby, and Gruff were obvious, and Greta would be around too thanks to her connection to Gilda. However, that didn’t remotely feel like enough characters. Sure, Griffonstone felt lived in thanks to what little descriptions of the place I gave earlier, but Gallus would certainly know more fellow griffons than just those four.

So it was off to the MLP Character Wiki for me, and through it I found all the extra griffons who appear/are mentioned in these few chapters. That said, they couldn’t all appear which was why Gigi and Gimmie Moore didn’t, but I still gave them some prominence—Gigi with her house and connection to Gallus and Gimmie Moore with the tour guides. However, I still wanted to include at least one more griffon character for Gallus to interact with, not counting Gavin.

As you’ve no doubt surmised, that was Griselda. Why her specifically? Because I liked her character design. Dark colors, cool scarf, what’s not to like? But what truly sold Grissy for me was how she looked roughly within the same age range as Gallus, meaning her dynamic with him could be different. More “equal,” if that makes any sense.

The others are all older than Gallus, and you can see it in how he interacts with them—There’s almost always a sense that Gallus respects them as his elders. It’s most obvious with Gruff, but with Gilda, Greta, and to a lesser extent Gabby, you can see Gallus looks up to them somewhat, like with how he thanks Greta for staying with him later or listens to Gilda and agrees to talk to Gruff one last time. They look out for Gallus, and he respects, trusts, and defers to them. After all, do you really think his professors, let alone his friends, could have convinced Gallus to not go out after Gruff next chapter?

This dynamic is, of course, reversed for Gallus and Gavin, but we’ll get to that. For now, Griselda and Gallus appeared around the same age, and I worked that into their interactions by portraying Griselda as more an unofficial older sister to Gallus.

From the “Cheated me out of my lunch” comment, it’s clear she wasn’t always nice to him, but the fact he continued to interact with her indicates their relationship wasn’t entirely hostile, unlike Gigi. You can just tell they hung out as fledglings, and though they were far from besties, they were indeed neighborhood friends and likely got into the kinds of mischief two unsupervised fledglings would get into in a place like Griffonstone. Gallus picked up his pension for pranks fromsomeone, after all. Point is, Gallus and Griselda clearly care for one another yet also hold nothing back when ribbing the other.

This is far from the only character trait I wanted to give Griselda though. Thus, she got the “Don’t call me ‘Grissy’!” spiel and volunteered to be the librarian, instead of being assigned the post via Gilda. Both because I wanted to show griffons genuinely volunteering to help the Restoration and thought it’d be fun to give Grissy a phenomenally, oh so amazingly well-kept secret love of books. She’s still a griffon though, so when Gabby compliments her for putting the books up, she brushes it off like she totally didn’t adore it.

And although she only has the “I see you did come back, Gallus” line to help move the conversation along, it also establishes she knew Gabby asked him to return. Though whether that’s from Gabby simply informing her of the request or because Griselda happened to ask how Gallus was doing…? I’ll leave that for you to decide.

But of course, Griselda is only one of the characters we need to introduce, and since I needed to give Gabby a reason to bring Gallus to the library despite the blizzard, that reason becomes the second new character.

Gavin.

Oh boy, Gavin!

Unlike the other griffons, I didn’t learn of Gavin via the Wiki. I got his name from there, but Gavin always stuck out to me from the flashback in “The Hearth’s Warming Club.” Why? Because Gallus states Gruff isn’t actually anygriff’s grandfather, yet Gavin is sitting there at the table, alongside Gilda and Gabby.

Now, that’s almost certainly because of behind-the-scenes stuff for the show. They clearly wanted a scene of Gallus looking in on a griffon family sitting around and trying to enjoy the holiday to contrast his orphanhood, but they only had so many characters they could use; thus, they had Gilda, Gabby, and Gruff be said family despite none of them being genuinely related. They were characters we knew and would enjoy seeing again, if only as a cameo.

Gavin was the outlier. As far as I know, we had never seen or heard of Gavin before that episode, and yet there he is, sitting at the table of Grandpa Gruff’s abode while Gallus is trudging around outside in the cold, alone and unloved.

What was special about Gavin then? Was he Gruff’s grandkid? Maybe a nephew? Was he Gilda or Gabby’s relative? Clearly not, the show would have done something with him if he were related to them—There’s no way Gabby wouldn’t have mentioned having an adorable baby brother. But he has to be related to them somehow for Gavin to be there for that scene.

Unless…? Gruff is Gallus’ guardian, so it wouldn’t be too erroneous to assume other orphans in Griffonstone fall under his care also. Gruff’s certainly not running an orphanage, but it’s possible he begrudgingly welcomed Gavin in for the holiday since he had nowhere else to go.

With all this in mind as well as the context of T.B.O.L., of course Gallus would have met Gavin before moving to Ponyville. And from there the plan for Gavin became obvious: Drawing parallels between them and their shared orphan status.

But that’s for next chapter. For now, this helped me iron out Gallus and Gavin’s relationship. Where with Griselda, I wanted her to seem more akin to an older sister figure to Gallus, Gallus became more of an older brother figure to Gavin. And since Gavin is far younger than Gallus, I couldn’t help but crank it up to eleven and have the fledgling idolize Gallus to the point of considering him a role model.

Hey, after everything I put Gallus through in this story, I’d say he needed a win.

But with this idolization came a much-needed opportunity for something else: Comedy! Because after all the drama concerning whether or not Gallus would be safe going to Griffonstone, we were in serious need of some fluff to balance things out.

The result was Gavin becoming this giant bundle of delightful energy who rockets over to Gallus upon seeing him, hops up and down like an excited puppy before unconsciously fluttering into the air while regaling Gallus with how many fixes they’ve made to the library.

Thankfully, Gabby acts as the adult in the room and calms Gavin down enough to catch his breath again and “Play it cool” as he tells himself, to the amusement of everygriff present. Heck, he even combs his headcrest too. Just like Gallus does… Gee, it’s almost as if Gavin absolutely picked that up from him.

Of course, as adorable as Gavin is, we still have a story to tell and more implications to give concerning Griffonstone’s previous toxicity. So Griselda has a good laugh at Gavin being adorable, and Gabby conveniently doesn’t bother noticing how ashamed and embarrassed Gavin feels as a result.

Why Gabby turned away in that moment took me a solid half hour to figure out, for the record. I don’t know why either, but I vividly remember being stumped on it for far too long than was warranted. I eventually realized I could just have her look out the window to check on the blizzard’s condition, foreshadowing the scene would end soon.

But while Gabby’s distracted doing that, Gallus notices Gavin’s not remotely pleased being called adorable, so he casually advises the kiddo to take it as a compliment, just as he does when a certain hippogriff calls him that.

This then leads to the revelation Gallus has a girlfriend, and while Gavin—the youngin’ he is—declares relationships to be totally uncool, Gallus—the wise, world-savvy elder he is—informs Gavin relationships are, in fact, cool. So long as they’re with the right creature anyway.

You likely noticed it already, but one thing I explicitly did not want to do was have Gallus patronize Gavin or treat him as if he were “Such a little kid.” Gavin may be a tiny tyke, but Gallus respects him enough to have genuinely mature conversations with him instead of incessantly dumbing everything down because Gavin is “Too young for such things” or other similar nonsense. This is much more obvious in the dinner scene later.

Meanwhile, Griselda has the natural reaction to learning Gallus has a girlfriend now: She wants ALLLLLLL the details.

Such a wasted opportunity not having Scoop and Griselda meet. Then again? I don’t think the world would be quite ready for that…

And although he’s certainly smart, Gavin is far from well-traveled, so he doesn’t immediately recognize Silver as a hippogriff. And after Gallus clarifies as such, Griselda can’t help but poke fun at how ridiculously convoluted the show’s world-building, history, and lore were. By which I mean, she simply calls it weird. And despite Gallus agreeing with her, Griselda, alsopokes fun at him being in love with an aquatic species.

Gallus shuts that joke down, not letting Grissy bring down his happiness over discussing Silverstream. But while Griselda tries keeping the joke alive, Gabby shuts it down too due to where Grissy was trying to take it while a certain underage fledgling waspresent.

Thankfully, poor Gavin didn’t catch on, and Gabby decides we’ve spent enough time establishing Griselda and Gavin’s characters and instead need to mosey on to Gilda’s house for the rest of the chapter to happen.

All three kids put up a fuss, but Gabby’s stance is firm. And of course, she knows exactly how to get Gavin to come along willingly: Point out how he’d get to have dinner with Gallus if he did.

And for as fun a joke as that was, Gallus can’t help but ponder on the fact Gabby used him to blackmail Gavin into obeying her. Innocent joke or not, Gallus isn’t sure if he’s comfortable being somegriff’s blackmail material. Luckily, before Gallus can comment on it—And before I can needlessly turn that joke into some overly complicated issue—Griselda turns on the sarcasm and bemoans Gabby stealing away her assistant and leaving her with all that extra book sorting to do alone.

And while in Old Griffonstone, Gabby likely wouldn’t have had anything satisfactory to offer in return, this is New and Improved Griffonstone, where Gilda is preparing a veritable buffet that Gabby doesn’t hesitate inviting Grissy to.

Utterly shocked by this, Griselda can only stammer out a nervous acceptance of the offer and a hesitant thank you before forgoing the old griffon standards and giving Gabby a hug for the free meal.

Like Gallus acknowledges: Times have changed. Griffonstone has indeed gotten better, not just the kingdom itself but the populace too. And he has no idea what he should be feeling about that. But before he can figure it out, a question comes to his mind.

If Griffonstone has changed… Then has Gruff?

We’ll find out the answer soon enough since Gallus then explains to Griselda he’s here for the whole week. And while the seeds are planted for Gavin’s later question via his reaction to that revelation, nogriff notices. Gabby’s too busy hurrying them out the door, Grissy’s too busy saying it’s good to see Gallus again, and Gallus is too busy wondering if he meant it when he said it was good to be back.

From there we get even more blizzard setup, and while Gabby had scooped up Gavin and let him ride her on the way, that doesn’t stop him from innocently asking if Gilda could move closer to the library.

Man, I love Gavin. He is way too adorable for this world…

Gallus, meanwhile, is busy burying a freakout at the sight of Gruff’s home, devoid of any decorations, foreshadowing the grump’s stubborn refusal to share in the holiday cheer.

But it’s Gabby to the rescue once more, revealing Gruff is at Gilda’s house and managing to get Gallus to focus on getting into said house. Well? Partly focus. The rest of his attention is on how Gabby wouldn’t meet his eye when she said Gruff would be happy to see him—one of her many tells.

Thankfully, Gallus stifles his panic by remembering the conversation he had with Ocellus in Ch.7(Pride). Gallus is good enough for Gruff’s love. No matter what anygriff says, even Gruff himself, Gallus is, always has been, and always will be good enough. And as hard to internalize that as it is, it and knowing he still has Silver’s picture are enough to give Gallus the courage to go confront Gruff immediately rather than fearfully postponing the meeting.

By contrast, Griselda is just happy to feel warmth again. What she’s not so happy about is Greta not letting her go five seconds without calling her Grissy, but Grissy is far too enraptured by the fireplace to care too much about that.

So…! Greta! Not much to say about her; she was included in the chapter by default due to her relationship with Gilda, and her characterization was far less important than Griselda and Gavin’s who were entirely new characters for the story. Greta might as well have been a new character too, all things considered, but yeah. She wasn’t a high priority.

But by now you know I don’t like leaving things half-baked. So while Greta may not have been a major focus, I obviously didn’t shove her into the corner and do nothing with her. But what to do with her was the question, and since she couldn’t be too plot important, I settled for a less is more approach.

So even though Greta didn’t get nearly as much screentime as her fellow griffons, what she did get shows her to be a nice, welcoming, mature character who cares for the griffons, young and old, under her and Gilda’s roof.

She gets Griselda and Gavin a blanket to help warm them up, lets Gabby know there’s drinks she can bring them, takes Gallus’ coat for him, and even notices him staring at the pictures she and Gilda took of the griffons helped by their Restoration efforts—an activity she herself can’t help but enjoy as well.

Basically, Greta’s the Mom of the group. And it’s funny I say that since there’s another thing about her I did the “less is more” approach concerning. That being her relationship with Gilda and whether it was platonic or romantic.

Not sure which way it is canonically, but I’ve seen it interpreted both ways. And since I didn’t know the concrete answer, I designed it where you, the audience, could see it both ways too.

Sure, Gilda could have invited Greta over for dinner, but it’s equally plausible Greta could have been living with Gilda the entire time—Gallus does thank her for letting him stay with “You girls.” And sure, Greta telling Gallus “No need to get uppity” later could have been her simply standing up for her friend, but it’s equally plausible she was standing up for her girlfriend.

Though, this whole romantic/platonic subtext is much clearer in the next chapter when they’re arguing over what to do about Gruff.

All that to say, to the people out there who passionately care about this kind of representation in fiction(Fan or otherwise), I hope you liked this example of it. Well? Assuming you do consider Gilda and Greta as a romantic couple, if only a subtextually hinted one. If you don’t, that’s fine too; I left it ambiguous on purpose, after all.

As for how I personally see it? I lean more toward Gilda and Greta being a proper couple(For T.B.O.L. at least). But again, I left it purposefully ambiguous, so whether they’re friends or partners is entirely up to your interpretation.

Why do I get the feeling people are judging me regardless?

~ A Blue, Blue Blue Moon Festival ~

For obvious reasons, I’ll go over my plans for Gruff next chapter, but for now, let’s talk about how Gallus is dealing with the long-awaited reunion with the buzzard.

Short answer: Not well.

Previously, whenever Gallus was angry over the Gruff debacle his frustrations were directed at himself, but now the two are back together, so it’s time for that frustration to finally be aimed at Gruff for once.

Sort of. I couldn’t let Gallus rip into Gruff over everything yet, but I couldplant the seeds for when he would. Which is why, after combing his headcrest, Gallus rants to himself for a moment about how “It will all be fine” despite having not seen Gruff in over a year, Gruff not attending the Fair, and Gruff most likely not caring about him.

Conversely, Gallus also asks himself again if it’s okay to want Gruff to care for him. Because, for as furious as Gallus is Gruff seemingly wants nothing to do with him, he longs for the opposite to be true. This “It’s okay Gallus wants Gruff to care for him” element exists for another reason, but we’ll discuss it next chapter.

Like Smolder before him, Gruff was not being shown in a positive light whatsoever throughout T.B.O.L. Unlike Smolder, however, Gruff had no secret reasons behind his treatment of Gallus, and more importantly: Had a canon personality I had to adhere to.

Thus, rather than foolishly make him seem even remotely sympathetic; I showed him being the grouchy windbag he was in the show. And what better way to do that than by having him degrade Gilda’s Restoration efforts?

There’s a phrase someone I know flings around all the time: “I’m set in my ways.” I’ll say nothing more about that particular matter, but this phrase alone inspired a lot of how I wrote Gruff here.

He’s a massive cynic who stubbornly clings to the old Griffonstone mentality of “If I don’t get Bits for it, why should I care?” It’s the mindset that permeated Griffonstone so thoroughly their entire society was stuck in a loop of self-perpetuated collapse for years, but it was the mindset Gruff lived with and believed in for so long that, well…? He can’t shake it. And instead of trying to shake it, he doubles down and tries tearing everything and everyone around him down.

Oh! Putting up lights is a waste of time ‘cause you’ll just take them down a week later! Oh sure, Gilda! You’re totally “saving” Griffonstone by embracing your cleaning obsession! The mighty savior of Griffonstone, everyone: A glorified janitor…

Basically, he’s a dk. And Gilda calls him out on it.

A shame Gallus had to walk in on them fighting like an angry couple one stabbing attempt away from a nasty divorce. Although, it’s far more unnerving Gallus tells himself that walking in on two griffons fighting is normal.

Thankfully, after she foreshadows Gallus cleaning Gruff’s home, Gilda spots our lovable bluebird before she can really rail into Gruff. Gruff, meanwhile, can’t even be bothered to look at Gallus—a fact Gallus painfully recognizes—and simply hides behind his paper, shutting up when mere seconds ago he was itching to get into a shouting match with Gilda.

Surprisingly not much to say about Gilda other than she was included by default thanks to her Restoration Project. At least Gilda allowed me to hint at what Gallus was like when he was living in Griffonstone.

She calls him “Nerd,” indicating Gallus’ pension for academia was always a thing, and her line:

“—if even you are enjoying this place so far? Guess we’re doing something right.”

Shows Gallus’ hatred for Griffonstone isn’t new, and even better, shows Gilda knew Gallus well enough to recognize it. It’s not a lot, but it’s still good.

That said, I honestly don’t know if I captured Gilda’s personality well in these two chapters. Gilda only had two proper appearances in the show, so there wasn’t much to go off of for how she was after making up with Rainbow and agreeing to help spread Friendship to Griffonstone, but I think I succeeded for the most part.

It certainly helps that I kept her temper and aimed it squarely at Gruff, telling him to talk to his kid and running off to give them the room. It wasn’t subtle, but it got the job done; Gallus and Gruff are finally alone and able to have a scene together.

So, Gruff is a cold, dismissive jerk—that’s a given—and his relationship with Gallus is extremely unhealthy—also a given. But now was the time to finally show just how toxic it was. Through Gallus.

Not only does Gallus’ optimism vanish nigh-instantly upon Gruff’s few dismissive Eh’s, not only does he ominously comment “Just like old times” upon receiving said Eh’s, but most importantly, Gallus goes into overdrive trying to think of any way he can keep the conversation going. Doesn’t matter how or what they talk about, so long as he can keep Gruff talking.

Even if it means doing something Gallus never actually did in the story because it got cut. Yep! The personality issue made a comeback here via Gallus desperately thinking of how to “Make Gruff happy” and “Make Gruff talk to me.” I’m honestly shocked how well I managed to slot it back in, however briefly, but I’m glad I did; it worked so well here.

For all the character development Gallus got throughout the story, all those lessons he learned about being good enough to deserve love and how he shouldn’t bottle up his feelings, let alone put others’ happiness above his own well-being; all that peace and serenity he’d been steadily acquiring as the story progressed…? It all crumbles away the second Gruff reenters his life.

That alone says more than I could say here, and I’m the dang author!

But not all is horrible—Gruff does say he’s glad to see Gallus alive and well back in one piece; unfortunately, immediately after saying as such, he leaves. And while he later claims it’s because he didn’t want to hear Gallus gush about how wonderful Silver is, you know full-well that’s not true. But then why did he leave? The answer is he caught onto Gallus’ desperation, but I’ll discuss this particular element next chapter.

In Gruff’s absence, Gallus can only feel despair at his long-awaited reunion with Gruff having gone exactly as he expected and dreaded. And though Gilda slips back in to give him the only form of comfort she can think of—a mere shoulder pat and an assurance Gruff does care—it does nothing to help our heartbroken bluebird.

But like real life, things are only going to get worse before they get better… Case in point: The dinner scene.

Though I wasn’t certain if I needed to show everygriff coming together for dinner, I gave it just enough prominence that writing the scene felt only natural. Plus, it was another chance to have the characters interact, and I needed an extra scene to pad out the word count due to the chapter split.

Firstly, Gavin’s “You can complain in restaurants to get your food faster” spiel? That started as Gavin making a joke in response to Gilda’s “You can’t rush culinary genius” line. However, I needed a reason why Gavin would say something like that, and while I considered pinning the blame on Gruff, I opted to make Grissy the culprit. But I did have Gruff agree with it, if only to further show him being a cynical douche. But then I needed to give Gruff a reason why he believed that—beyond simple cynical douche-ness—which led to him explaining the joke and dragging it out for too long.

On the plus side, it was another subtle showcase of how bad Griffonstone once was where angrily haranguing restaurant staff to get your food faster is something even children are/were encouraged to do.

Secondly, the “No meat” meal was to avoid falling into the Fimfiction pit-trap of “Spend 3+ paragraphs gushing about how this one character eats meat and other characters find it gross.” Seriously, I have no idea why characters eating meat is such a big thing in so many fanfics on this site. Either way, the fact there isn’t any meat in the meal is the reason Gruff scowls at Gilda. And the reason he condescendingly repeats “Eat it and like it, old griff” is he’s an immature, loony, old fart, and I wanted to have him act that part. Same reason the phrase “certain in his correctness.” is used to describe his “Restaurants only want your Bits” comment, just to further display his arrogant attitude.

Thirdly, Gallus wanting to throw “I was wondering when you’d show up” back at Gruff was another moment to establish how angry Gallus is at Gruff. Now’s not the time for that rant though, so he bites his tongue and tells himself the classic line: “I can’t say that…” and immediately takes the blame upon himself by apologizing for “holding them up.”

Gretathankfully clarifies he wasn’t holding them up which stops Gallus from internalizing that guilt, cheering him up slightly. This was aided by Gavin being such an adorable, flustered fanboy—something Griselda redirects the conversation away from before anygriff else can tease him about it. Gallus isn’t the only one who cares about and stands up for Gavin, after all.

And lastly, I considered having everygriff say grace before digging into the meal, but I realized I didn’t know what religion griffons have, if any, and figured it’d be rather out of place if I tried inserting some paragraph long prayer to “The Almighty Wind God and Lord of Steamed Hams, Aurora Boreas Borealis the Fifteenth!” into the scene.

Naturally everygriff loves Gilda’s cooking—an evolution of her canon self’s Griffonscone baking gig—to the point Grissy cares more about stuffing her beak than snapping at Gilda for calling her that.

Gruff’s still a jerk, but at least Greta smacks him on behalf of Gilda.

Gallus, meanwhile, gets yet another moment to imply how bad Griffonstone was by being entirely desensitized to the idea of dinners between his species being perpetually awkward—a fact inspired once more by his flashback in “The Hearth’s Warming Club.”

But before we can focus too much on that, Gilda decides the scene needs more dialogue and asks Gallus how his trip was. He gives his response, Gabby has a laugh at his reaction to the guard rail, and Gavin is just glad to see Gallus again. The same can be said for Gruff, even if he tries hiding his smile.

But the good times aren’t meant to last, so Gallus confirms he’s only staying a week, to the dismay of his number one fan.

I had already been planning the Gallus/Gavin scene in the next chapter, but when I got here, I saw a perfect opportunity to add some extra setup for that particular conversation. But as usual, I couldn’t help myself and did everything I intended to do in that scene with this one. And though I was concerned by that at first—not wanting to make next chapter’s Gallus/Gavin scene redundant—this moment had something the other didn’t: Other characters.

Griselda doesn’t get much here, but I justified that behind her not wanting to get involved in a situation she didn’t know anything about—Not to mention she was the guest there, not a “proper” part of the family, and she didn’t want to get kicked out. But as for the others…? Ho-ho, boy! If Gallus thought the dinner was awkward before…!

By now, we’ve had plenty of implications of how bad Griffonstone was and how horribly griffons treated each other, but now was my chance to genuinely show it, if only mere remnants of it.

So, without the slightest hesitation, Gilda rebukes Gavin for asking if Gallus would ever move back, having forbade him from doing so off-screen.

Gallus is angered to know his friends discouraged Gavin from asking if he’d return, even if it was to spare his feelings. And Greta, once again, defends Gilda, this time from Gallus, but Gallus still recognizes the situation for what it truly was: A bunch of adults collectively instructing a child not to ask a question they’re anxious over—In this case, Gavin wanting to know if his favorite creature would ever come back home—and then guilt-tripping said child when he asks it anyway.

Gabby, however, tries to deescalate the situation, not wanting their Blue Moon Festival to devolve into a chorus of angry screeches.

The personality issue then briefly returns with Gallus telling himself he can’t be angry. In fact, the line was originally going to be: “You’re not allowed to be angry”, but I changed it to instead focus on the knowledge Gilda and Greta would throw him back into the blizzard if he did let himself be angry since that was an even worse, more horrifying scenario.

They wouldn’t, but the fact Gallus expected they would…? Yikes. Not a good look for the others.

Kudos to Gruff for knowing the conversation was going to upset him and trying to leave before it did. Shame Gilda stopped him then, because he does get upset, and Gilda only makes things worse, throwing it in his face that he can’t even stay in the same room as Gallus. Once again, we’ll discuss this “He ain’t mah kid” element next chapter, but suffice to say, it certainly was an easy card to pull to have silence descend upon the scene.

A silence which ends with Gavin apologizing and beginning to break down, overwhelmed with the knowledge everygriff fighting was “his fault.”

But Gallus has been through enough of this crap himself to immediately comfort Gavin and reassure him he did nothing wrong. And although Gavin acknowledges Gilda and Gabby both told him not to ask about Griffonstone, Gallus firmly asserts they were the ones who were wrong before revealing he actually enjoys answering questions—both a nod to Gallus secretly being a total nerd and a nice way for him to cheer up Gavin—even Gabby laughs a little at the joke.

But the time for distractions is over, and instead, it’s time for emotionally heavy conversations about homes and belonging.

Gavin wants to know if Gallus will move back to Griffonstone, and the answer is, sadly, no. And although Gallus claims it’s complicated, Gavin calls bullst. Gavin’s a kid; he doesn’t care about “complications.” He only knows Gallus doesn’t want to come back, not the reasons why.

The answer is indeed an uncomplicated one: Gallus hates Griffonstone. He can acknowledge it’s better now, and as he says later, maybe he could be happy living there again… But the truth is Griffonstone hurt him. And Gallus can’t, won’t, and doesn’t have to forgive the place for that.

But Gavin is still a kid, so he wouldn’t fully understand any of that; plus, it wouldn’t exactly be right for Gallus to casually say all that to him. But before he can think of what he should say, Gabby tries her talon at comforting Gavin, telling him Gallus doesn’t have to return to Griffonstone.

That only makes Gavin angrier and more confused. As he says, Griffonstone is every griffon’s home. It’s gotten far better, and Gallus’ friends are all here too, like Gabby, Grissy, Gavin himself… So why wouldn’t Gallus want to come back? Gavin even asks why he had to leave at all, glaring at the griffon responsible for that particular decision only to flinch back in fear at the glare Gruff shoots back.

And as if everything before wasn’t enough, Gilda tries one last time to shut Gavin down, reprimanding him for “Making a scene” and stating they’ll “Talk about this later.” And I think most of you can guess what Gilda was likely going to say/do to Gavin had she gotten a chance to have that “talk.”

Thankfully, she didn’t get that chance. Gallus didn’t let her; he didn’t let any of them try to teach another fledgling to bottle up their feelings and fear expressing themselves.

To their credit, they all shut up when Gallus shields them from Gavin’s view, letting him handle the situation. But now comes the hard part: Handling the situation and comforting the upset fledgling.

And how exactly does Gallus do that? By giving Gavin a life lesson. Like I said earlier, most of the subject matter and themes of this conversation—Like Gallus explaining how a home is where you’re happiest, and he’s happiest in Equestria with his friends and future wife—were initially intended for the Gallus/Gavin scene next chapter but were used for this one instead. But luckily for me, once I got to the point where Gallus starts talking about what a home truly means for him, everything clicked for me.

I can’t remember the exact time frame, but I think it took me three writing sessions to get from Gavin’s “But you are home,” line to after Gallus succeeds in comforting Gavin. And though I expected to finish the chapter’s end in a fourth session, I powered through and spent another hour or so on the conversation following the end of Gallus and Gavin’s talk.

Point is, I was on a roll through this entire scene because I was having so much fun. Balancing all the characters, letting Gallus’ development have some time to shine, writing Gavin in general…

The only part of this sequence I still have some regrets for is Gallus’ reaction to finding out Gavin thinks he’s cool. Like? C’mon, Gallus, it was obvious the kid looked up to you! And yet you “Always wondered why he started sending you letters”? Ugh.

The in-universe explanation was Gallus did know Gavin liked him but never realized how much Gavin loved him until that moment. But truthfully, I just had Gallus react genuinely shocked to that revelation because I didn’t want him to react with fake shock since that would feel too patronizing to Gavin. Also, I wanted to add more weight to when Gallus thanked Gavin for the compliment.

Still, I definitely could have handled it better; the way it ultimately is, Gallus almost seems like a clueless dummy, despite being intellectually on par with Ocellus.

Thankfully, this wasn’t the focus of the scene, that’s still Gallus comforting Gavin. And even more thankfully, he does get through, little-by-little. Gavin may not like it, but he does acknowledge Gallus has to go back at some point; he just wants him to stay longer. And even then, he understands and accepts it wouldn’t be fair to ask Gallus to break his promise to his friends and stay in Griffonstone longer than he wants to.

But Gallus didn’t get a massive super fan for nothing, and he swiftly takes the chance to ask Gavin to show him around the new and improved Griffonstone instead. And of course, getting to spend even more time with his hero than he thought he’d get successfully cheers Gavin back up. So while he’s still disappointed Gallus can’t stay too long, it’s enough for him to make the next week the best week ever.

And so ends Gallus’ attempt to give a fledgling a life lesson about the complicated concept of having a place you can truly call home and be at your happiest… Now did I handle writing said life lesson scene well despite having as little knowledge about a concept like that as I did the scrapped identity theme?

Yeah. I did.

However, the chapter must end some time, so Gallus once more reassures Gavin he didn’t do anything wrong and has nothing to feel guilty for.

They both then joke about how awkward it’s going to be when Gallus lowers his wing, considering the girls heard their entire conversation. And while Gallus suggests eating in the other room—a possibility I did legitimately consider for a time—Gavin denies it, stating he’s used to their awkward stares…

Gallus acknowledges that shouldn’t be the case, yet he does lower his wing—After not-so-subtly exclaiming to the eavesdroppers that they will eat in the living room if they upset Gavin again.

And although Gilda, Greta, and Gabby are all too happy to act like they totally weren’t listening to the whole scene play out and move along like nothing happened, Griselda takes the chance to ask Gavin herself if he really is alright and shoot her own not-so-subtle demand to Gabby to drop the subject, knowing full-well Gabby was probably gonna say something too.

As for why Griselda cares so much for Gavin here…? Well, with the Epilogue(Love) in mind, you know exactly why. But for now, I wanted to portray her and Gavin’s relationship similar to Twilight and Spike’s. Just—you know—if said relationship was influenced by them both being griffons raised in Griffonstone at its worst.

But then of course, there’s a certain somegriff who’s no longer present, having left the moment Gallus confirmed Griffonstone wasn’t his home. And in spite of all that wonderful character development and healthy attitude Gallus radiated during his chat with Gavin, it all dies the instant Gruff abandons him yet again, being less interested in him and his girlfriend than even Gilda. And this time, he drops the sarcasm and acknowledges the fact it’s not nice for that to be the case.

Luckily, his development doesn’t crumble away entirely, and Gallus also recognizes how his other friends are interested in him and his new love life, and for now, that’s enough to help him feel better.

And lastly, his line:

“Well, in that case? Strap yourselves in, boys and girls! This is gonna be a looong story…”

Is me poking fun at the word count.

---

And that was Ch.10(Home)! Needless to say, I love this chapter!

Gavin and Griselda were both absolute delights to write for, the conflict regarding Gallus’ feelings toward Griffonstone is one of the best subplots of T.B.O.L., Silverstream and Smolder had some proper development…

The world-building regarding Griffonstone deserved greater prominence than it got, but nevertheless, this is another contender for the best chapter of The Bonds of Love. Or rather, this and the next chapter together are perhaps the best. Because for as great as Ch.10(Home) is, it’s only part of the whole package. And for as much as I love this chapter, Ch.11(Closure) eclipses this one in every way.

But before we wrap this chapter’s discussion up, I’ve one last thing to add…

I didn’t go too much into T.B.O.L. Gallus’ life in Griffonstone, and I want to clarify what is and isn’t canon about it—Feel free to ignore any of this if you’d prefer this info be left ambiguous.

1) Gallus deliberately altered his personality, emotions, beliefs, etc. to appeal to everygriff in Griffonstone? Not canon.

2) Gallus sometimes went without food, water, shelter, etc. and often had to con/bribe/convince other griffons to get said amenities? Canon.

3) Gallus occasionally gambled for more of the above mentioned amenities and lost due to somegriff else cheating? Canon. Griselda specifically cheated him out of food numerous times via challenging him to poker then counting the cards, much like Gigi who cheated him out of Bits. A lot of Bits.

4) Gallus lived with Grandpa Gruff? Canon. However, Gruff would always demand some form of compensation—usually favors or Bits—and if Gallus couldn’t provide…? Well, you can guess what happened.

5) Gallus almost died because of hypothermia? Canon. Was this because Gruff refused him shelter that day? I’ll leave that up to you, but it would certainly further explain why Gruff was so concerned about Gallus running into the blizzard without his coat and why he immediately chased after him.

6) Gallus received sub-par education in Griffonstone due to the school needing to be “fixed up”? Another instance of canonicity I’ll leave to all of you, but I will say he learned some basics such as how to read and write thanks to being around Gruff and Gilda.

7) Gilda and Gabby would occasionally let Gallus stay with them if Gruff ever refused? Canon. That said, Gilda—before she made up with Rainbow Dash—would make it clear she wasn’t happy about housing him and would often demand payment as well. Gabby, meanwhile, would offer him her home without asking for payment, but she couldn’t always afford to house him, even with her mailgriff gig.

8) Other griffons would let Gallus stay with them if Gruff, Gilda, and Gabby weren’t available? Canon. However, he’d have to chock up an exorbitant amount of Bits before they’d even consider it, even more than what Gilda or Gruff demanded, then subsequently be even worse hosts than those two could ever hope to be. As such, Gallus usually tried avoiding this particular option.

9) Other griffons would often berate him for various reasons—usually related to his attempts to con/bribe/convince them to give him food and whatnot—as well as heavily discourage him from expressing himself and his emotions and even asking questions and learning more about the world? Canon. This extends to Gruff, Gilda, and even Gabby. As to what degree of discouragement Gallus experienced? You can hazard a guess from both Gallus’ overall character arc as well as his immediate reaction to learning Gilda told Gavin not to ask him if he would ever move back to Griffonstone.

10) Gallus learned how to bake Gruff’s Griffonscone recipe? Canon. It was the only confectionery he knew how to bake before Silver began teaching him. Also, Gruff taught him the recipe, not Gilda.

11) Gallus had to legitimately hunt prey for food or risk starvation? Canon. Multiple times. He hated it.

12) Gallus has some memories of his parents, even if he can’t quite recall them or their faces? Not canon. He doesn’t know a single thing about them.

13) Other griffons do know about Gallus’ parents? Semi-canon. Only Gruff, Gilda, and Gabby know the full story, and even then, Gilda and Gabby only know what Gruff told them. Most other griffons don’t know anything about them, not even their names, and Gruff has long since bought or bullied those who do know something into silence.

14) Gallus has been given false information pertaining to his parents by some vile griffon or another? Not canon, but hey! Definitely adds more to his hatred of Griffonstone if this were true, so if you want to believe it is, go ahead.

15) And lastly, Grandpa Gruff is the one who gave Gallus his name? Canon. Whether that’s because his parents genuinely wanted him to be named “Gallus” or they couldn’t be bothered to give him a birth name so Gruff gave him one in their place? I’ll let you decide that one.

And that's all for now. Hope you're all having a wonderful day and enjoyed the newest installment of this "Writing of..." Next Weekend, we shall see it continue...in part. Because the Ch.11(Closure) discussion is so inherently long, I'll be splitting it into two separate Blog Posts. I hope you to see you all then!

Obligatory Google Doc Link.

Comments

[Summer Script]

~ Additional Tidbits ~

Addendum: When I first made this Blog Post, I had posted a comment containing all the additional tidbits, but I guess it didn't go through. So let's try this again, splitting the section into multiple comments in case length was the issue:

— 1) The line:

“That’s what I’m asking you; do you think I should stay, or should I go?”

Was a shameless to reference to:

— 2) Whether Silver learned of Smolder’s love of stars from Gallus post-Ch.7(Pride), or she already knew beforehand on account of being such good friends with Smolder…? I’ll let you decide.

— 3) Although I wish I had gotten to show Gallus and Smolder stargazing, there unfortunately wasn’t any time for it in the last few chapters, so I had to settle for sneaking in the line:

“She really does,” Gallus confirmed, thinking back to their last round of stargazing.

To confirm the two had started stargazing together off-screen.

— 4) The whole “Embarrassed of me” comedy skit happened for two reasons:

#1) I wanted to show more of Gallus’ snarky side now he’d gotten so much better.

And #2) I hate the “Someone doesn’t want their love interest to meet their friends/family because they’re embarrassed of them” trope. This isn’t always a romantic trope specifically, but I hate it nonetheless, so I decided to mock it.

— 5) Silver’s line:

“Oh yeah. I’m totally embarrassed of you, Gallus,” she deadpanned. “You’ve only helped me tell off that fake Storm King, brought us to victory at Lyra’s Laser Tag, and given me the warmest hugs ever,” Silver listed off merrily. “Yeah. Totally embarrassed to be your girlfriend.”

The third item she mentions—the “warmest hugs ever” part—I wanted to be something specific as well, like the previous two lines, but I couldn’t think of a good moment in T.B.O.L. that qualified here. Yeah, there was him comforting her during the Smolder situation, but I didn’t think Silver would bring that particular event up. And I already called back to A.D.F.F. with the laser tag comment, so I couldn’t have her also mention him winning her Horton and the Stripes twins. Probably could’ve gone for a reference to their baking/painting lessons, but that stuff happened off-screen, so it was out too.

Thus, I settled for a generic line about how much she loves his hugs; although, in retrospect, that’s also pretty good since it further establishes what T.B.O.L.’s Silver’s Love Language is.

— 6) Gallus’ “Yep. At long. Pecking! Last! I have finally finished planning the date.” linecould have easily been: “Yep, I’ve finally finished planning the date.” But I decided to drag it out with Gallus being extra dramatic about it to have a laugh at myself for how long I stalled out that subplot.

— 7) After including the dance deadline thing, I took the chance to also reference Starlight’s kite-flying suggestion. Because, yeah, I forgot about the dance scene but remembered the kite-flying line. … I don’t know how my brain works either.

I then had Silver confirm she would like to go kite-flying with Gallus at some point instead of scoffing at the idea since that fit her character more, much like how she’s genuinely excited at the possibility of doing macaroni art with him.

— 8) Gallus’ line about Silver singing her lines in Drama Club wasn’t in this chapter originally. When writing Ch.13(Serenity, Part Two), I inevitably reached Gallus’ “I love you because…” moment where I revealed she sings in Drama Club every so often. It was a funny line, but I had never previously established Silver did that. Thus, I came back to this chapter and sneaked in some retroactive foreshadowing. Though, if I had planned the “Silver sings her lines” thing from the get-go, I’d also have given Scoop or Vellum a line about it in Ch.4(Optimism).

— 9) Silverstream and Gallus’ conversation about the Griffonstone Library being rebuilt was another means to imply how bad Griffonstone was. Gallus’ sheer disbelief they’d rebuild it was to highlight both how apathetic griffons were to the library and how completely unbelievable it was they’d even spend the Bits to rebuild it.

Silverstream is also similarly shocked because she knows these exact same things, courtesy of Gallus, and her hesitation at correctly guessing they did indeed rebuild the library is to show how she just knows Gallus is using that as another reason to go back to Griffonstone.

— 10) It was Smolder who was originally going to say, “I can’t believe that actually has to be a concern…”Upon reflection, however, I realized it’d be better for Silverstream to say it, even if it does still sound more like a Smolder line than a Silverstream line.

— 11) Gallus’ line:

“My very presence is enough to triple the fun anycreature is having at any given time.”

Is obviously a reference to the “The fun has been doubled!” joke, but it’s also to show more of Gallus’ snarky, cocky personality making a comeback. To further cement his character development and make it feel worse when said development is tainted thanks to Gruff.

— 12) Since the train station scene is the first scene outside, I jumped at the chance to play with the elements by acknowledging how cold and windy it was, and once we get to Griffonstone, I emphasize it even more. Both to foreshadow the blizzard in Ch.11(Closure) and because it was fun to describe the weather effects taking place. Helped make the scene feel more immersive, you know?

— 13) Regarding this moment:

Smolder’s maw peeled back to reveal an enraged snarl as she growled, “We should’ve stopped him! That stupid place is— He hates— You— I—” She sighed furiously and weakly rebuked, “We didn’t even try to stop him…”

I had Smolder sputter angrily at first to show how upset she was Gallus left. However, I wanted to also show some of her own character development which is why she stops herself, sighs, and states what she’s really mad about—that she and Silver let him leave. It’s a nice way to reveal Smolder’s making an effort to understand her own feelings more, to the point she knows angrily sputtering won’t help and instead takes a second to think over her anger and properly voice it.

It’s a small moment, but still one of my favorites. Similarly, this moment later on:

“No, we did try,” Silver argued sadly. “But Gallus made his choice. I just wish he had let me go with him! If he does get upset, I-I could have helped him! But I can’t… I’m stuck here,” she lamented.

Smolder hesitantly reached out and patted Silver’s back consolingly. “W-Well? Even if he is going back, we’ll still be here,” she said awkwardly. “Gallus did promise he’d come back the instant that place starts screwing with him again. So…? Everything will be okay. Right?”

“I don’t know… But?” Silver continued with renewed hope. “You’re right. If anything happens, he’ll come back. And we’ll be right here, ready to help him however we can!” she declared, feeling somewhat comforted by that fact. “In the meantime, we’ll just have to be optimistic.”

“Yeah… Yeah! Optimistic! We can do that,” Smolder mumbled more to herself than Silver. “We can be optimistic. We can be optimistic…”

Is jam-packed with detail!

Silver’s “I-I could have helped him!” and “And we’ll be right here, ready to help him however we can!” lines further foreshadow her and Gruff’s conversation.

We also have Smolder reaching for Silver to comfort her, hesitating at first because things are still awkward between them, but shake off that hesitation and comfort Silver anyway, reminding her they both need to be optimistic even if Smolder is still struggling to be that herself. It’s much like how I have Smolder try to get out of going to Sugarcube Corner at first only to realize she’s trying to avoid her friends again, stop doing that, and agree to go, much to Silver’s relief.

— 14) That brief moment when Gabby asks if Gallus’ friends came with him was me poking fun at myself for not being able to let Silver and Smolder join the A-plot. Also, I tricked myself at some point into believing that when she says that line, she looks at the Friendship Express behind Gallus, expecting the others to trot out of it. She didn’t do that originally, and I have no idea why I thought she did. Buuut…? I liked the idea Gabby did do that, so I sneaked that detail in during the re-edit.

— 15) With this line:

“I’ll have to take your word for it since I can’t eat gemstones.”

I really hate how I didn’t just write it as “I’ll have to take your word for it” and not bother including the gemstone part. Why? The gemstone part is completely unnecessary; you guys know exactly why Silver can’t eat gemstones. So why’d I include that part regardless? Because I wanted Smolder to have that “Gems are delicious!” line. Nothing more, nothing less. I bloated Silver’s line just so Smolder could have another one. It’s a very, very minor thing, but I’m still irked by it.

[Summer Script]

~ Additional Tidbits ~

Continuing on from the previous comment...

— 16) Regarding the line:

“Whoa. Well, uh, look at this way: At least they wanted to come and help make you feel better,” Silver said jubilantly. “I think that’s really sweet.”

Silver was initially going to force a smile, already predicting the true implications of what Smolder’s mom and brother “Flying across Equestria to drag her back home” meant. But once again, I thought it meant more if Silver’s encouragement was entirely genuine; thus, she doesn’t force a smile of any kind, and instead says the line she does “jubilantly.”

— 17) It was actually going to be both of Smolder’s parents who wanted to bring her home, and Garble would have been the one to step in and stop them. But I preferred the idea of showing Garble being a loving, protective older brother, so I had Ember step in to stop him and their mother from bringing Smolder back, and had Smolder’s dad simply inform her of the situation.

Also, it would have been easy to give Smolder that whiny “But, Mooooommmmm! You’re embarrassing meeeee!” attitude, but I hate that trope. So instead, Smolder’s unquestionably proud of her mother, and since I wanted to sneak in some more dragon culture elements, I made sure the reason Smolder gave for said pride involved her mother being huge, tough, and strong.

— 18) Silver’s line:

I really wish Gallus were here to hug me right now!

Was initially written I really wish Gallus were here right now… But I figured it needed the extra “To hug me” context, lest it be misconstrued as more of Silver worrying about him.

— 19) The other griffons were obviously going to use the words “Grover’s Treasure” and “Peck” like Gallus had, but the question was Gabby. She’s not exactly the kind of character to cuss. That said, she was the only other griffon who’d speak for a good long while, and I wanted to show other griffons using those words early on… And just because Gabby’s so bubbly doesn’t mean she can’t get frustrated enough to swear, especially when she grew up in the same environment as Gallus; plus, she may have even been one of the griffons he picked up those words from to begin with.

Thus, I compromised, letting Gabby cuss without drawing attention to it while also having her make the “Language!” joke and be the one Gavin goes to to report on others cussing in front of him.

— 20) Other griffons I considered including but ultimately didn’t make the cut were:

#20.1) Galeena.

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She had at least one standout moment canonically, being the one who became distracted by the smell of Gilda’s scones, subsequently crashing into Greta as a result.

Didn’t include to keep the amount of characters to a minimum.

#20.2) Giselle.

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I liked her design and thought it’d be a nice touch for Gallus to know and look up to a griffon who participated in the Equestria Games, especially considering his subplot about not liking being a griffon. I also liked the idea of giving a famous athlete character like that a chance to be characterized as a normal griffon just living life.

Didn’t include because I didn’t want to go through the hassle of explaining all of this in a pair of chapters that already had a lot going on as is. As for whether or not Gallus does look up to Giselle and the other griffons who participated in the Equestria Games…? I’ll leave that up to your interpretation.

#20.3) Graff.

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I wanted to give Gavin a friend in Griffonstone around his own age, even if they weren’t going to appear in the story. And even though Graff got cut because Gavin already fulfilled the role of a fledgling character, I will say they are canonically friends.

#20.4) Gustave le Grand.

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Same reasons as Giselle, he’d be included for the sake of having some famous character who’d already had a canon appearance make a cameo here.

Didn’t think he’d be in Griffonstone for the holiday, instead being somewhere else gifting other creatures with his glorious culinary masterpieces.

#20.5) Gunter.

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Loved his design, but he’d have served the same purpose as Gigi and little else.

— 21) Another benefit to exploring the MLP Character Wiki for additional griffon characters was learning about Boffyball being a thing. It wasn’t important to the story of T.B.O.L., however, and is a comics-only thing, so I decided to merely reference it in the Griffonstone tourist pamphlet.

— 22) Gallus originally didn’t show Griselda and Gavin his picture of Silverstream when they were in the library. Rather, I wrote the line about him feeling her picture in his pocket before entering Gilda’s house, realized I hadn’t established he had said picture beforehand, then went back to the library scene and retroactively added him showing the others the picture.

— 23) Yet another line I want to draw attention to is this one:

“You get called ‘adorable’!?” Gavin asked, eyes widening in shock. “By whom!?”

So, I don’t know how it is for others, but from what I know, it’s far more common to hear/say “Who” in casual IRL conversations when asking about someone, rather than “Whom.” And while I considered having Gavin say “By who!?” I figured a bookworm like him would know to be grammatically correct and ask, “By whom!?” It’s yet another one of those minor, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it details, but still one I wanted to acknowledge since it further emphasizes Gavin being such a bibliophile.

— 24) I have no clue why I put so much emphasis on Griselda and food. It merely started as a way to show she had her own off-screen character development—Going from hardcore lunch thief to a supremely appreciative dinner guest who even apologized to Gallus for her previous lunch thievery—but I gave it far more emphasis than I remembered. I suppose I could ret-con this to be an implication Griselda had problems finding food too, but I don’t want to do that.

Though they’re never mentioned, Griselda did have parents growing up who cared for and loved her. They didn’t care at all about Gallus, but he usually avoided asking to stay with them and Griselda anyway.

— 25) The scene where Gallus thinks back on his conversation with Ocellus from Ch.7(Pride) and reassures himself he’s always been good enough was going to be in the next chapter when he’s approaching Gruff’s porch. I felt it dragged the scene out too long there, so I slipped it into this chapter.

— 26) Of all the places in Griffonstone I regret not describing more thoroughly, Gilda’s house is the one I think I did just fine with. The Bits she got for the Restoration Project weren’t for her personal benefit, so of course she wouldn’t be living the life of luxury, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t fix up her own house too. But what she did was rather simple: New carpeting, some new furniture(For guests of course), a paint job, and a new stove(Gotta bake those Griffonscones). But the true draw are the portraits of the many creatures Gilda and her team have helped out.

A nice way to show how much Gilda’s Restoration efforts mean to her.

— 27) Gruff asking Gallus, “So, you’re back, huh?” is to show him at least trying to extend a conversational olive branch and lead into him later saying he’s glad Gallus is back in one piece. But the specific wording of the question—though it may seem generic at first—is actually lifted from Granny Smith saying the exact same line to Grand Pear in “The Perfect Pear.” Why that specific line? Because the way the voice actress said the line was oozing sheer indignation, and I always found that amusing. So yeah, whenever you read that line, I encourage you to read it in that same tone Granny Smith said it.

— 28) Gallus’ saying: “…Thanks for trying.” to Gilda was meant to be ambiguous as to whether he meant “Thanks for trying to get Gruff to talk to me” or “Thanks for trying to make me feel better.”

— 29) Greta telling Gilda to take it easy on Gavin after the “Complain in restaurants” comment and Gilda subsequently dropping the issue was another little hint at the possibility they were a couple. Because I guarantee you if Griselda or Gabby had been the one to defend Gavin, Gilda would have kept right on teasing the poor fledgling.

— 30) I want to once again highlight how Gabby also told Gavin not to talk to Gallus about moving back to Griffonstone. She’s probably the most emotionally healthy of all the griffons, and even she encouraged Gavin to bottle up his feelings over the situation. Says a lot about how far-reaching Griffonstone’s old ways truly were…

— 31) This part:

I’m mad as peck at the others, but they’re still my friends.

Was sneaked in to clarify that, while he was extremely peeved the others tried making Gavin hide his feelings, Gallus still considered them friends.

— 32) Regarding the moment when Gruff does successfully leave the table, I’ll leave it to your interpretation whether Gilda tried stopping him again but he fought her off, or if she didn’t bother trying, knowing she’d fail.

— 33) One of my favorite details in the dinner table scene is how Gavin only truly admits how much he likes Gallus after he sees Gallus’ wing is still blocking the others from view, meaning he has no extra pressure on him. Good on Gallus for thinking of that issue, and even better for him remembering to do that with Glory in the Epilogue(Love).

— 34) The few times the characters—mostly Gruff—comment “Pony” or “Ponyland” or whatever else are there to show some lingering negativity in how some griffons view Equestria. Not enough to imply hostility, but enough to clarify not all griffons are entirely fond of ponies and their culture.

— 35) This is the order of the griffons’ ages, from oldest to youngest, only including those mentioned in-story:

Gruff → Gigi → Gimmie Moore → Gilda → Greta → Gabby → Griselda → Gallus → Gavin.

Griselda is merely a few months older than Gallus(Same goes for Gilda and Greta), and Gabby is a few years older than both of them. Gruff is also the third oldest living griffon in Griffonstone, just slightly younger than these two griffs:

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