The Writing of The Bonds of Love (Chapter Eight: Tension) · 2:25am Apr 30th, 2023
Alternate titles: Fear, Part One, Life — Didn’t go with the first one because I was still in “Name the chapter after its central theme” mode, and Ch.8(Tension) isn’t exactly about “fear” so much as the lingering awkwardness or dare I say…? Tension 
between Smolder, Gallus, and Silverstream.
As for "Life," I considered it since, like Ch.5(Normality), this chapter functions as a glimpse into the normal, mundane parts of the characters’ lives rather than predominantly furthering the main story arcs. Didn’t go with it for reasons related to the next chapter.
The second half of The Bonds of Love is where the story truly shines, and it all begins here—The Smolder chapters. While the past seven chapters have certainly been enjoyable in their own right, there’s no doubt every chapter from here on is of a far, far greater quality. Though that’s obviously due to me gradually improving as a writer as I continued the story, it’s more due to Ch.1(Transition) through Ch.7(Pride) laying the groundwork for the events to come.
Like Johnerose126 said:
the first part starts off a bit slow, it's building, getting the tone right, but that's just to get the ball rolling until it goes faster and faster and before you know it, you're witnessing the work of a genius.
And while I still wouldn’t call myself a genius, I feel no shame saying that from these chapters onward, everything I wrote was absolutely amazing! 
Now, let’s start discussing it all, shall we?
~ Figuring Out the Future and Calling Back to the Past ~
Since I still had to wrap up the “Gallus’ Future” subplot, even after the identity theme was dropped, I decided to do that here and now. And while Gallus joining the Royal Guard was obviously endgame, that didn’t mean I couldn’t show his journey of determining that’s what he wanted to do.
And although I didn’t get to handle this subplot how I initially wanted to, I actually prefer how I ultimately did.
Gallus teaming up with Ocellus—Because I still wanted her helping him with this subplot—and Silverstream—Because of Advice Two Hundred and Nineteen—and working on solving his future together was such a great way to solve this issue. It highlights how strong their friendship is and how important Gallus’ bonds are for him and his life, and even better, it plays up how logical and intelligent Gallus is since he took a problem that caused him so much stress throughout the story and found a way to un-complicate it.
Although, the notecard thing was totally thought up on the spot, not gonna lie.
Gallus helping the Ponyville Weather Team was more due to realism than anything; Gallus obviously couldn’t think of the Royal Guard immediately and would likely have taken up another job first. And since griffons can manipulate clouds like pegasi can(I think…? Did the show ever confirm that?), I had Gallus go with that job.
And of course, Silverstream takes the chance to joke about possibly helping them too since it would mean spending more time with her sweetie—not to mention it calls back to her love of flying.
As for the politics joke…? Oof. That was purely meant to be both a joke and a career path Gallus was shown to actively reject rather than consider and reject later(Like the Wonderbolts)… But wow! November of 2020! What a bad time to post a chapter with a politics joke. 
A far better joke is Gallus secretly loving doing paperwork since:
#1) People hating doing paperwork is a really overused joke, and I wanted to switch it up.
#2) It’s yet another way of showing off Gallus’ nerdy side.
And #3) It gives Silverstream and Ocellus something to tease Gallus about.
You want to hear another joke? After Ocellus acknowledged politics was the fourteenth career option Gallus rejected, Gallus was going to slip back into “Whiny, apologetic, self-deprecation” mode, and the girls would immediately give him yet another round of “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
I hated that idea with a fiery passion since it showed Gallus backsliding again, and even worse, would have given Silverstream yet more reasons to stay paranoid. So yeah. I threw that idea out in a heartbeat and replaced it with Smolder and Shimmy’s arrival instead.
Shimmy’s here because, again, I had her be Smolder’s main non-Student Six friend, and it was a nice way of implying she and Smolder patched things up after their fight back in Ch.6(Stagnation). Plus, it let me sneak in some more light-hearted comedy.
Smolder could have done without the “Just let me lie here and die!” joke though, for obvious reasons… Thankfully, she cheers up upon learning Gallus is considering getting a nice, cushy job of moving clouds around instead of, you know, anything that could result in bloodshed. Again, for obvious reasons.
But the real reason these two pop up here is to show once again that Smolder’s finally coming back around and is on good terms with Gallus and Silverstream. Yeah, things are still kinda awkward—Thanks to the real reason Smolder was upset still being unknown—but hey! Smolder’s talking to Gallus again, and that’s all he and Silver need for everything to feel okay again. 
It’s also to wrap up that whole Psychology section debacle. I didn’t have a way to show Smolder returning those books privately since I was still only following Gallus and Silver’s perspectives, so I decided not to worry about the “privately” part and had her return the books on-screen. That said, this is me we’re talking about, so I at least tried to include that issue as a pseudo-plot point by having Smolder intend to return the books privately but get caught in the act by the others. It doesn’t mean anything in grand scheme of things, but still.
Another thing that didn’t mean anything was Ocellus’ reaction to learning Smolder was the Psychology section raider. It was so unimportant I legitimately never planned what her reaction would have been—Although, it probably would have been Ocellus yelling at Smolder about proper library and book renting etiquette—and simply had Silverstream preemptively cut her off.
Then of course, we move back into reminding you guys this chapter takes place on Nightmare Night because… Well, honestly, there is no reason this chapter occurred on Nightmare Night; I just wanted to have a chapter take place on that holiday since it helped me keep track of the timeline and gave me an opportunity to have a Halloween Nightmare Night party scene.
Shimmy only got saddled with helping Pinkie set that party up since it made it easier for me to naturally establish there even was a Nightmare Night party rather than have the characters bring it up in a bout of blatant exposition. Why Shimmy specifically? Because she was the only non-Student Six character present. At least, in explaining how she in-universe got stuck with that gig, I sneaked in a callback to her and Scoop asking for that advice from Cadence.
Speaking of callbacks, we get one to Silver’s Nemesis costume and Gallus being the “Lord of All Things Sweet”—A title he never fails to live up to, if his “I’m always thinking of you” line is any indication. Shame he still hasn’t taken Silver on their 2nd Date, much to her vexation. Afterward, we get yet another callback—This time to the “I thought I was the lucky one” joke from Ch.4(Optimism).
Yeah, there’s a lot of callbacks and references in this one scene alone—a benefit of having seven 10k+ word-long chapters of setup beforehand—but it’s not like they’re a bad thing. Even if the callbacks are to little, relatively unimportant things like jokes from previous chapters, I’m glad I found ways to bring them back later throughout the story. If you’ll pardon my boasting, I’d say this enriches T.B.O.L.’s quality that much more. 
Anywho, I quickly finish establishing Smolder is back on good terms with Gallus and Silver by having her offer to help the two with date stuff—yet more setup for future chapters—and kick her and Shimmy out of the scene, but not before having Shimmy sneakily mention Smolder owes her a favor for helping with the books, which—surprise, surprise—turns out to be Smolder helping Shimmy with the Nightmare Night party.
Once they’re gone, Gallus and Silver summarize the obvious lingering awkwardness in some terribly clunky exposition which only exists because I named the chapter “Tension” and was still hung up over making the chapter’s main theme concern said title.
We then get a brief reference to T.B.O.L.’s timeline having currently taken place over less than three months—As well as Silver mentioning it felt like longer since the story IRL took so much longer to write and publish—and even bring up Silver’s flower painting because I was still bummed I didn’t do anything with it and wanted to callback to it someway. I didn’t handle that very well though since it accidentally implied Silver hadn’t shown Gallus any of her artwork before this point, and you would think she’d have done that with him by now, considering how he expressed his love for her paintings as early as Ch.2(Reprieve). Ah well. Not a big problem, just something I look back and facepalm at.
But we can’t reminisce on the Generosity lesson and Silver’s painting without also referencing Gallus’ painting. I obviously never clarified what it was since I still wanted it to be left up to your interpretation, but more importantly, I used it to highlight Gallus’ character development. Where he originally thought terribly of his painting and used it to devalue himself, he now, well? He still criticizes himself for it, but it’s a far healthier form of it. Gallus even now accepts that, yes, for a first attempt it was genuinely good.
Something else I added here is how Silverstream agrees with Gallus’ comment about the painting not being all that great rather than launching into “Defend Gallus from himself” mode. Though, rather than fully criticize him, she encourages him that he will get better with time, perhaps even to a point where his paintings will get in Silver Frames’ Gallery as well as her own—yet another thing I called back to. It highlights Silver’s character development as well since now she’s even able to laugh about Gallus somehow accidentally pulling a Michelangelo on his bedroom ceiling instead of having a panic attack that Gallus is demeaning himself and running herself ragged trying to make sure he isn’t.
With that, this scene has served its purpose, so the group leaves, saving the rest of the “Gallus’ Future” stuff for another off-screen session. I’m not done with Gallus and Silverstream yet, however, so I give them a chance to simplysavor how Smolder is talking to them again, everything seems to finally be settling down, and there’s no more conflict anymore.
Like Silver says:
This is nice. … Everything really is okay, Silver, she told herself. I really didn’t need to be afraid after all. Not for him. Not for Smolder. Not for anyone else,
A shame I had to completely prove that wrong later. 
For now though, she and Gallus are okay, and they even share another couple’s moment. And although she does ask Gallus about Gruff, he gives her the best response he could: Yeah, he’s still mad at him, but he knows he can be anything he wants to be, regardless of whether or not Gruff’s proud of him—yet another moment to show how far along Gallus has come in his recovery.
Unfortunately, not everything is sunshine and rainbows where the S.S.Gallus-Stream is concerned.
~ Second Date Blues ~
So, about the 2nd Date taking so long to happen and Silver being mad about it…? That’s me turning my own frustrations into plot points again.
Remember how I initially intended the 2nd Date to be the final chapters of T.B.O.L.? Well, around this point I realized if I wanted that to be the case, then the 2nd Date would have to happen after the Griffonstone arc which I had already planned to take place during Hearth’s Warming. This meant Gallus and Silver would have not gone on their official 2nd Date for well over four months, and that didn’t feel realistic at all.
More importantly, I had been hyping up the 2nd Date quite a lot by this point, what with all the pseudo-dates, Gallus’ date spot searching in Ch.5(Normality), Silver’s dress commission, and of course, the Gallus-Stream romance in general. And because of this, I was beginning to worry that you, the audience, were growing frustrated by how long I kept putting off the 2nd Date chapters and wanted me to just get on and show that already.
For a while, I considered having the 2nd Date happen before the Griffonstone arc at the cost of it no longer being about what Gallus and Silver discussed during those chapters and more just… Generic romance fluff. Naturally, I hated that idea.
I wanted the 2nd Date to be the last main chapter of the story, and I did not want to budge on that. So I didn’t budge, and instead, I turned this issue into a plot point by having Silverstream be impatient about finally going on the 2nd Date as well.
And I’m glad I did; it adds another element to the Gallus-Stream romance I didn’t focus on much: Gallus and Silver bickering.
Couples IRL get into fights sometimes, regardless of how much they love each other—that’s just a fact of life. And had I not sneaked in this issue over the 2nd Date—as well as the “Risque” issue in the Mount Aris arc—then the only time Gallus and Silver would have had anything resembling a proper disagreement would have been that dinner conversation in Ch.13(Serenity, pt.2).
From one perspective, that’s a good thing: It shows Gallus and Silverstream both love each other enough and have had enough character development that they actually discuss their issues amicably rather than get needlessly angry and into shouting matches because C O N F L I C T!
From another perspective, that would have portrayed Gallus-Stream as far too idealized to be realistic, and that would have damaged the quality of both the romance and the story as a whole.
Needless to say, I’m glad I found ways to have the duo get on each other’s nerves without making either of them come across as unjustifiably asinine.
Silver’s frustrated here because she wants to finally go on a proper 2nd Date with her boyfriend and not some cheap pseudo-date. And Gallus is stalling because he both wants to ensure the 2nd Date is as perfect as he possibly can and, as we learn later, is saving up for future dates simultaneously.
Far better than if Silver were mad because the plot needed her to be and Gallus was only stalling because the 2nd Date was the last chapter, huh?
As for why Silver was also getting frustrated over Gallus being super picky about his costume choice? That was more a happy accident than anything; the way I had first written this scene, Silver’s frustration was a touch too overblown, so it felt like she was more mad about Gallus’ pickiness than she was the 2nd Date stuff. To solve it, I explained it as Silver drawing parallels between Gallus’ costume pickiness and his perfectionism regarding the 2nd Date.
As for why Gallus was picky about his costume at all? Well, I was obviously going to stick him in that Guard costume, no question, so any other potential costumes he’d have to reject. Sooo…? I had a bit of fun and decided it’d be neat touch if Gallus had a tiny ‘quirk’ that bothered Silverstream, even if it was a bit petty.
On that note, I’m sad I didn’t get a chance to show these two shopping together. That was a story concept I considered sneaking into T.B.O.L., but I never had any good places to put it, so the idea got scrapped. Shame. Could have made for some great comedy as I get the feeling one of them would not be able to stand shopping with the other… 
Oh, and Yona’s here because Silver needed someone to lament her frustrations to.
And while Silverstream does hesitate to talk to Gallus about this since she still abhors the thought of seeing him even remotely unhappy, she’s had plenty of character development too and would naturally know better than to bottle anything up. Thus, once the issue is brought up, she yields and asks when Gallus will finish his 2nd Date plans.
Gallus, meanwhile, freezes because he has no idea how to tell her why he’s really taking so long to finish planning it, but luckily for him, Silver loves him enough to continue waiting on his flank, even if she very much does not want to.
But enough of that stuff, we’ve got better things to do like making jokes about Gallus wanting to hurry up and go hoard candy, calling back to November's weather magic with the party fog and Berry Bliss and Citrine Sparks’ rock candy being chiseled into a Nightmare Moon statue, and of course, Smolder having a panic attack.
~ It’s Terror Time Again! ~
Before we get into the Nightmare Night party proper, I had meant to put this in the Author’s Note in Ch.9(Fear) but ultimately forgot, so before I forget again, here are the costumes the characters were wearing, in case anyone didn’t catch the references:
Gallus: Royal Guard(MLP, as stated in-story) — For obvious reasons.
Silverstream: Washout(MLP, as stated in-story) — I wanted her to be a Wonderbolt at first but felt that was too on the nose, so I changed it and turned the issue into a plot point: She did want to be a Wonderbolt but got called out on that being too on the nose.
Ocellus: Oleander(Them’s Fightin’ Herds) — I discovered that game midway through writing T.B.O.L. and wanted to reference it somewhere that wasn’t Ch.4(Optimism). Also, I found the idea of Ocellus secretly blowing off steam via a fighting game pretty funny.
Sandbar: Leon Kennedy(Resident Evil) — Again, I got into Resident Evil around the time of writing T.B.O.L. and wanted to sneak in some references to the series. As a plus, I got to use the reference as a plot element regarding Smolder and not purely for the sake of having a reference.
Yona: Ada Wong(Resident Evil) — Same reasons as above.
Smolder: Generic, non-specific princess, as stated in-story. — Honestly? Couldn’t think of one to give her since I didn’t feel up to randomly picking a Disney Princess for her to cosplay as. Thus, I made that a plot point with her Psychology book binge keeping her from planning out a costume and having to settle for a random dress from her hoard.
Vellum: Chara(Undertale) — No real reason for this; I just wanted to reference the game. Although, I am glad his costume afforded me a chance to give him and Ocellus a moment together, bonding over no one knowing their costumes. The Drama Club barely interacted with the other Student Six—yet another missed opportunity—so even if said moment was short-lived it was still nice.
Scoop: Link(The Legend of Zelda) — No real reason for this; I just wanted to reference the game. Though, I did have her carry the fishing rod around rather than the sword ‘cause I thought that was funnier.
Shimmy: Tenebris Nightshade(Her own edgy OC, as stated in-story) — “Tenebris” was a name I considered for an OC for a different story. I ended up not going with it, but I figured I could recycle it here and make it an even edgier name. Also, Vellum’s criticisms about Shimmy’s OC being an obvious Mary Sue with arbitrary flaws that meant nothing for the plot? Yeaaahhh… That’s me making fun of myself again. And no, I won’t elaborate.
I wouldn’t blame anyone for not getting the references; I didn’t put too much focus on them aside from some light comedy. This will also now finally be in the Author’s Note for Ch.9(Fear) as of the re-edit.
While we’re talking about the costumes, though it’s never explicitly stated, everyone did take off their costumes between this and the next chapter. A part of me wanted them to still be costumed because I didn’t think they’d bother taking them off with the Smolder situation being such a high priority, but considering Gallus would talk to Smolder later and his Guard outfit was what set her off in the first place…? Yeah. I decided tohave them get undressed off-screen and not call attention to it.
Anywho, back to the main topic of this scene!
First things first: The Nightmare Night party was originally a generic frat party that took place inside the school, but two issues resulted in it being relegated to outside.
The first and lesser issue was there weren’t any canonically shown places inside the Friendship School large enough to hold a genuine frat party for the entire student body. They obviously wouldn’t host it in the library, so that was out, and I couldn’t just have the party take place in the hallways. I suppose the School in-universe has some kind of common room, or I could have had it take place in whichever room the Amity Ball from “She’s All Yak” took place in, but…? Honestly, I didn’t want to go through that hassle; I just wanted to get past this scene and get to the juicy Smolder drama.
Speaking of Smolder, she’s the second reason I had the party take place outside. What was first going to happen was similar to what ultimately happened: The groups would meet up, Smolder would freak out about Gallus and Sandbar’s costumes then storm off, and Silver would give chase.
The difference is Smolder’s freak-out would have been noticed by most of the surrounding students, not just the Drama Club. Having such a large audience see her being seemingly douche-y to her friends would drive Smolder to freak out even more, so she would race toward the bathrooms to take a moment to recollect herself and/or ditch the party entirely.
However, Smolder wouldn’t have gotten the chance to reach the bathrooms because Silverstream was going to immediately run after her rather than sit there for a minute and let Smolder walk off. They would then have an abridged version of their bathroom argument in the hallway except Smolder—not having a chance to somewhat cool down—would instantly become hostile. Halfway through their shouting match, Gallus would show up to make sure Silverstream was okay and give Smolder a “What the hay is wrong with you?” look. And he wouldn’t be the only one; several other students, including the Drama Club, would be trailing behind him, looking to see what the commotion was.
This was would then trigger Smolder into running away, a complete wreck, and Silverstream falling into Gallus’ talons, also a complete wreck.
Why’d I cut this? Because I wanted to keep Smolder’s issues private. The crap she was going through was, I felt, far too sensitive a topic to glorify by having the whole situation have an audience of half the School. And while the rest of the students—minus the main cast and all of the Drama Club, including November—were naturally going to return to the party, pretending like nothing happened, that wouldn’t have changed the fact I turned Smolder’s breakdown into a complete circus show.
So rather than that, I moved the party to the school grounds and reduced the number of students present to just the Student Six, Scoop and Vellum since they were the main Drama Club characters, and Shimmy Shake since she was already involved in the story and also to explain why Scoop and Vellum were there anyway—They were hanging out with Shimmy, much like how Gallus and the others wanted to hang out with Smolder.
Another benefit to this change was Silverstream and Smolder’s argument.
Firstly, I got to show Smolder taking a moment to calm down enough to ask what was up with Gallus, only getting worked up once she felt her fears were “confirmed” after Silver revealed Gallus was genuinely considering the Royal Guard.That worked a lot more into Smolder’s favor than if she had blown up immediately despite Silver trying her best to remain calm.
And speaking of Silver, she was going to be far, far wimpier in the original argument, flinching at practically everything Smolder said. Here though? Silverstream, while trying her hardest to reach Smolder through her paranoia, is not cowardly in the least. She doesn’t back down at all, no matter how angry Smolder gets, and that does wonders for Silverstream’s character—Showing she isn’t going to instantly back down when someone seemingly opposes her sweetie, even if it is a friend.
That said, I also appreciate I got another chance to show Silver’s desire to protect and help Gallus at all times and all costs working against her. While Smolder was clearly getting worked up regardless of what Silver said, Silverstream launching into “Defend Gallus” mode despite knowing Smolder was in a bad place was a terrible mistake on her part—something she recognizes and holds against herself for the next few chapters.
Unfortunately, there were some parts of the change to this section that weren’t great. The whole “Everyone knows Smolder is freaking out but tries to pretend otherwise” moment, namely.
I needed Silverstream to go after Smolder alone which wouldn’t happen if the others went after Smolder too which, well, of course they would—Smolder’s their friend and they’re all concerned for her too. I tried to work around it by showing they’re only halfheartedly convincing themselves Smolder’s fine and having Shimmy instantly shatter it by stating Smolder very much is not. But still, that particular segment…? Kinda clunky. 
Definitely a moment where the “Hand of the Author” can be seen, and for that, I apologize.
And that’s Ch.8(Tension)! Yeah, short segment, huh? Makes sense when you realize this and Ch.9(Fear) are the shortest chapters of T.B.O.L. And that’s due to the fact they were, yet again, another chapter split.
I briefly considered keeping the two chapters as one, but I disregarded that pretty quickly. Thankfully, I didn’t feel too awful about this particular split since:
#1) I expected I’d need to split them anyway considering how long I knew the investigation and Gallus/Smolder scenes were going to be.
And #2) I ended Ch.8(Tension) on the most blatant cliffhanger I could.
Sadly, splitting the chapters didn’t exactly help me get ahead of the writing schedule here. I ended up falling so far behind schedule with Ch.7(Pride), that splitting the chapters merely let me catch up rather than get ahead.
Aside from that though, I really enjoy Ch.8(Tension). It’s pacing is a little too slow at times, but otherwise, I’ve no regrets with how I handled anything here.
Like I said, Ch.8(Tension) is the beginning of The Bonds of Love’s quality skyrocketing beautifully and remaining high right up until the very end, and I am very proud of that. And very relieved considering the subject matter of the next chapter. Hope you're all looking forward to that discussion next weekend!
~ Additional Tidbits ~
— 1) When I was writing this chapter’s opening scene, I didn’t write it from either Silver or Gallus’ perspectives, merely a neutral one. However, after I wrote the Silver/Yona scene later, I figured, “Screw it, let’s make the whole chapter from Silver’s perspective.” Mainly because the Smolder argument would be told from Silver’s perspective too, but also to give Silver another chapter all to herself. Thus, I went back and adjusted the opening scene accordingly, so if anyone thought Silver’s internal dialogue felt tacked-on, that’s why. It was.
— 2) The green wizard costume Silver suggested Gallus try was supposed to be a costume of Ralsei from Deltarune, but I didn’t give it enough descriptors for that to be clear. It would have bogged down the pace of the scene if I had anyway, so I’m not too bummed about it.
— 3) When Yona was telling Silverstream that Gallus wouldn’t be too upset if she talked to him about the costume issue, she stopped herself mid-speak because she remembered the tie incident.
— 4) Silverstream asking if Gallus’ stalling on the 2nd Date had something to do with her, only for Yona to immediately stamp down the idea was me flirting with those terrible romance tropes again: One character thinking the other doesn’t like them for stupid reasons—a trope I hate with a fiery passion.
— 5)
I think most of you can tell what this particular line was ironically foreshadowing.
Much like these lines:
— 6) Gallus asking what he and Silver both deserve and Silver’s response being “Peace and tranquility” is obviously a joke, but there’s another layer to it: Peace and Tranquility was the song I had been listening to when writing Ch.4(Optimism), and I wasn’t about to pass up the chance to reference it.
— 7) Anytime the characters say something along the lines of “We’ve had enough drama for a lifetime,” that’s me venting again about all the crap I put the characters through in the first half of the story.
— 8) Smolder joking about the Royal Guard doing absolutely nothing was, as is likely obvious, her attempting to stay calm by telling herself Gallus wasn’t in any danger should he actually join them. It’s also a jab at how incompetent/useless the Royal Guards were in the show at times.
— 9) Sandbar’s line:
Was a clear callback to what he and Gallus talked about in Ch.5(Normality), and the line afterward:
Was setting up Sandbar’s “Get the teachers” stance in Ch.9(Fear).
— 10) Silver revealing Gallus was considering baking was a callback to how she was giving him baking lessons, but, um, I also made an error concerning it and it took forever for me to remember just what that error was. The item Silver praised here was his muffins, but then in the Griffonstone chapters, I had her praise his brownies predominantly instead since I forgot what I had her initially praise were the muffins. I didn’t bother changing this during the re-edit since both Gallus’ muffins and brownies are to die for as far as Silver’s concerned.
— 11) Why did Gallus talk to the others about the 2nd Date and his conversation with Silverstream about it despite both being rather private matters? Answer: I didn’t think it realistic the characters would stand there doing and saying nothing while Silver was checking on Smolder. And since I already needed to explain Gallus’ reasons for stalling the 2nd Date, I took the chance to have him consult with the others about the situation.