Review: Mechaniquus · 9:04am Apr 18th, 2023
This doesn’t have anything to do with my novel, just my rant. Skipped it or Comment if you want. I just want to get this out of my system.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/504087/mechaniquus
This story is a mess. Chapter 15 is limited to me.
I came for mechanical steampunky ponies and somewhat tragic antihero chrysalis, only to be left with confusion.
The first problem is that want to be too many things too quickly. Many fandom cannon got crammed into background world-building lore without care that it’s so disconnected from the personality and actions of characters without taking time to connect each piece together into a big picture for examplerainbow factory, cupcake pinkie, cannibal Fluttershy, flutterXdiscord, lunarverse
And more! All within a span of like 22k word counts…
It’s too quick! It’s felt like watching that couple of last episodes of Daring in the Franxx where the director says “fuck it” and went from gritty post-apocalyptic survivors to space combat with the galactic-level threat with shitloads of time skips.
Full plot(abridged) in 10 minutes if you don’t know what i mean.
The second problem is the subverted expectation
There’s a lot in this fanfic. Something that got subversed 2 chapters ago somehow gets subverted again because why not? And it doesn’t add or change anything notable other than more lore.
Does it have to actually be good you know? And it should be used sparingly. Otherwise, it will be like another SW: The Last Jedi.
In my opinion, the starting premises of this story is great. Just make a reboot that continues from chapter 2 onwards.
It’s just sad to see something with such great and unique potential become like this. Especially one that is not just a sweetiebot story or unrecognizable scifi AU.
