This is a story about a sheep. A little sheep, locked deep in prison, put there by ponies. He doesn't want to be there, but then he's had to do a lot of things he doesn't want to. It's a shame he deserves to be in there.
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Always remember why you've never gone back.
11113207
Nah, doesn't bug me, just so long as you consistently use UK or US spellings, one or the other. I didn't actually know that Sargent was a correct spelling at all in general.
11113009
This is my first time reading the story, so I'm unaware of any of that.
I definitely did not see that coming, I was convinced it was going to be some type of ocean cult.
I’m going to guess that they are going to try and deflect the storm towards canterlot or something like that.
well that does answer some questions, looks like moving cloud city theory that ranger brought up might not be so far fetched, though why Clan Myrrdon is here at all remains to be seen.
also the speaker at the door called Gloom a member of the nightmare guard, looks like we might find out why Clan Myrrdon isn't keen on Luna's return.
Otherwise I will enjoy seeing what thoughts are tumbling inside the rogue clans heads.
Damn I was way off the mark, and sadly I don't know enough about Crimson's clan to even begin to guess at the whys of this. Hopefully it will be spelled out or monologged, perhaps as Prey is forced to be left behind while the others race to save the prisoners. Though that might be for the best as it would let Prey use all of his tools openly, though he doesn't seem well geared to tackling multiple foes. Hm, well shit this might just have to be a hard lo... oh wait, the *other* reinforcements are still available.
Wild theory, Prey's mom was Selenia.
Also I have a feeling that by the time the Night Guard reinforcements arrive, all the action will be over.
Huh. Thats a twist I was not expecting.
And that confrontation between day and night guards was great, and I cannot wait to see the fallout.
Crimson must have heard something in the way they were speaking... And knew who it was. Or been fairly sure.
Damn, that was a twist I was not expecting! But WHY are they doing this? What do they stand to gain?
I did not expect this at all!
so many questions. What was their goal? How does it relate to everything that happened so far? And will crimson enjoy bringing them pain?
I also wander how the alternative backup will come into play. I think it's fair to assume the main backup won't be able to help this time as well. I feel a bit bad for nughthawk, trying his best yet always failing to help when it's needed the most.
11113273
The 'White Witch,' plus the fact she's almost impossible to find info on in non-barred literature? I may not think she's necessarily Gossamer's mother, but I do think she might have been a sheep using forbidden magics, much like Prey.
Also, side note, I can't help but feel this arc ends with either Prey and/or co. effectively ending a number of bloodlines in brutal fashion, or, more likely, Luna still trying to reintegrate the clan because catharsis is a lie and nice things are illusory.
ah yes, the old blood scenario, Crimson's clandoing business here for weeks, maybe months.
And now Crimson is here.
And the useless gold guards will start to flip off and think it's a ploy or some kind of out of bounds stuff and they'll even be angrier.
I really, really wanted Crimson to stab them from behind during the heated argument.
Now I hope the fried chicken will drop dead, which is never a good thing.
We're in uncharted territories, but... at least we know who kidnapped the villagers.
... And I'm pretty sure the rogue clan know Prey is more than he seems, he was the one raising the alert after all
11113382
So many good theories; the idea that Selenia was Prey's mother, or was at least a sheep, is a theory that I'm immediately supporting. It makes perfect sense for the most part, but I think she would have fought back when the village was burnt down, so her just being a sheep is probably right.
Clan Myrrdon finally emerges from the shadow, and somehow Crimson figured out their identity before Prey did. This is going to be interesting, because they might have to leave Prey behind while they go save the hostages. Prey might be able to have a one-on-one conversation with these mysterious blood-suckers. Or he finds a reason to make himself scarce.
Really hate it when characters are not willing to ask questions like "What will they do with their success if they are willing to erase one
cityvillage with a mistake." I do not really mind them reaching to the conclusion that it is better to do some good things now and save some lives now and larger consequences be damned.Sure just hand the Ponies who planned something like this everything they want and not even think about it.
Another amazing chapter.
I wonder what Lemon Pink and the gang™ (Prey's undead army) were up to while this was going down.
One of the language differences
Britain, "twit" & "twat" are more or less interchangeable & both mean more or less what we'd call a "jack ass" or a "jerk"
USA, "twat" is a VERY vulgar term for either "someone's lady parts" or "a low grade whore".
In short, I strongly recommend changing it to "twit".
Added
Opinion seems greatly against this line of thought, so I'll just quote Emily Locatella (SNL) "Never mind"
Obviously, someone is trying to drive the villagers out for some reason.
Wild thought. Selenia turned lich & back again? because I have to ask
Would a batpony clan be able to do this much, this long?
Personally what first jumped out regarding Selenia was that she was never caught or confirmed dead. Knowing what we do of rune magic, she could be very well still be alive and hanging around somewhere. And what better place for a legendary immortal witch to be than the Isle of Dove? I don't know if the timeline fits, but she could also be the creator of the infamous magic nullifying cliffs.
Also that Storm (it earned the capitalization). Good lord the Storm. This story continually amazes me at how good it's at creating a sense of imminent doom. I couldn't help but be reminded of stuff like John Martin's Destruction of Pompey while reading, because that's the level of awe inspiring apocalyptic-ness of the Storm
tate.org.uk/art/images/work/N/N00/N00793_10.jpg
I just thought of something. Why hasn't Prey mentioned Grogar at all? You know, basically the most famous goat of all time, who was also into super illegal black magic? Seems like the kind of person prey would talk about, either mockingly or with respect.
Oh boy!
11113503
The story was started before S9 + It's either late S1 or early S2 (not sure). If Prey has heard of Grogar at all it's as a distant legend of LONG ago.
But, Prey had his bone rot mines, could he not have placed them as a trap to immediately kill those on the other side of the door as soon as the door opened?
Why was this not brought up?
They claim to have them surrounded and outnumbered which may or may not be a lie.
Is it not like those who steal ponies in the middle of the night to be good liars?
Prey didn't get close enough to the door to read their thoughts after all, so why would he to believe them, and not bring up extreme violence as an option?
11113434
It's an insult, intended to be a very bad insult, and it is used as an insult, this is a fine usage of the word twat.
I live in Kentucky, and Twat isnt used at all in America, I've never heard it spoken once, in person, or any of my other American friends.
11113581
I mean, he'd be turning the intruders into the pony equivalent of ragu in front of three idiotic Day Guards. He'd be proper fucked when they got back to Canterlot, assuming the blast-radius was small enough to not turn himself, Gloom, and Crimson into goo as well.
Edit: And yeah, 'Twat' in that sense is a bit of an archaic American-ism, not really used anymore, but Robert Noxon is right insofar as pointing out the word meaning some very offensive stuff in certain American circles. That said, if the desired effect is to double-down on the Day Guard being a bunch of racist jackasses, keep it the same. If there's still an attempt to make them somewhat sympathetic later down the line, I'd recommend a minor edit.
11113273
"Preys mom was selenia" What gives you that impression?
11113273
11113418
I do really like that theory, I looked a bit back to try and find some possible details in the story that may support or oppose the theory.
spoiler warning
opposes
- the time doesn't much up too well.
We know that selene disappeared at around year 895. The age of the book also makes sense for it to be the time. The story begun at just about the start of year 1000.
Which means she disappeared 105 years ago. We know Prey was imprisoned for 57 years, but a better detail is that he cursed himself with the youth curse more than 61 years ago and locked himself at age of about 9, putting him at minimum 70, but more likely 71 or even 72.
That puts his mother birthing Prey at around 33 years after selene's dissappearance, and fleese at around 32 or 31.
That means that if selene disappeared at 16, she would have her first child at 48, at the youngest, considering sheep here live to 70 max, at that age it seems to me a bit unlikely, especially considering she took care of the whole farm by herself. Not impossible, but unlikely.
You could argue that a which like selene could extend her life or even stop aging like Prey (something I think won't fit seeing as what Prey achieved is a significant achievement even an entire Covent failed to achieve). But even still, that would leed to my other points.
- ability mismatch
Someone with the supposed strength of selene would likely not live the life if preys mother. They lived on the brink of starvation and exhaustion.
When the resistance arrived she was powerless to stop them, she even failed to save her kids, and died while the resistance survived.
She seems like despite only doing her best, she remained powerless.
A which cabaple of tearing reality with a pin cution, or extending lifetime, should of at least have the power to somewhat protect her children, or at least live above starvation.
It could be argued that the fact she wasn't burned was perhaps a hint that there is more to her than seems.
- personality mismatch
She seemed very morally strict. Never once doing anything not completely within morality, even when Prey offers to steal an abandoned cart from a neighbor, she refused despight needing it.
She was very unsure, and seem to crumble a bit and become recluse before the resistance attack.
It could be argued that some of her interactions may have been suspicious of someone like her, especially those Prey did not hear. Even more so, the song Prey remembered that may have been a profecy.
Pro
- the pincushion reacting to prey
The pincushion reacted to Prey especially in ways that seem like they didn't react to anyone else.
From teleporting to him, to allow him to add another pin to the cushion. And seeing how all other look the same. We can assume this is the only time it ever happened.
And that's without mentioning the fact that the pin was wiz mother's, and somehow just worked. Also just somehow survive all this time in good condition, in a way that Prey just so happened to find it, and it just so happened to teleport to him.
It could be argued that that the pincushion reacts like that to everyone, and that the reason the pin is special is becouse of emotional connection.
- the name
The name "the white witch" fits very well if she really is a sheep. Especially when considering how little is known about her.
We also know that Prey has been called things like "the phantom".
But it's not much proof of her being his mother and more her being a sheep.
This is far from perfect, and I'm sure I got a lot wrong, but this is what I found.
My thoughts are:
As much as I like this theory. I fought she was his mother. But that's not to say the theory is without merit.
All the details fit amazingly if you consider this.
What if instead of his mother, it was his oldef aunt, or better yet his grandmother!
If it's really is his grandmother, consider this:
The timing and ages fit perfectly.
She is not her so it explains the mismatch of the personality and abilities. And, if you consider how it would be like to live as the dougther of a great witch, it could potentially explain a lot about her personality, her strich adherence to morals, her fear of conflict and most of all, her adherence to keeping her children innocent and free for as long as she physically can, perhaps as compensation for a youth she lacked.
Well that concludes my essay. Man, that turned out way longer than I expected.
11113581
Considering how it explodes and sprays everywhere, and even evaporates into liquidising murder gass, I think it's a bad idea to use indoors in a cramped space.
They'll also need to open the door, so someone will have to get close first, open, and run for dear life.
The may be able to setup a way to open from safety, but that may take too much time.
But that does not mean we won't see more murder gass in the near future.
Crimson's clan must all be trained In protecting their minds in the same way Crimson is. That would explain why Prey didn't feel their thoughts.
It makes me wonder if that clan previously had a very nasty run-in with a mind leech in the past so devastating that they started training their foals from early on how to protect their thoughts at all times. It also makes me wonder if some elder from the clan can identify a mind leech. Some elder warning the clansponies not to touch Prey because he's dangerous (not knowing Prey's entire history but knowing about his powers) and then inadvertently rating Prey's powers out to his comrades. It wouldn't be a damning accusation because there's no proof Prey has done anything wrong with the powers and has always been insistent on not being touched, which can be viewed as him protecting others. Still, it would raise all kinds of questions they'd eventually want answers to, and with that many ponies aware it would be harder to just make everyone forget.
11113750
It was stated that he simply didn't have an excuse to get close enough to the door, they aren't about to let their most vulnerable member get near that door without a good reason.
11113655
You bring up a fair point, they couldn't so it without sacrificing whoever's opening the door, not without a contraption they don't have the time to build.
So, one of our outlandish theories was quasi-right while the others... not so much.
The usual, I see?
But as always, with one question answered (goodbye lovecraftian monsters, hello warrior bats) we were given a dozen more and I love to read what you guys come up with in the comments just as much as I love the story itself. So far the one with Selenia being Prey's grandmother is my favorite.
I freaking called it!
11113434
Dude, people had to read through body horror and child abuse to get to this point. Anyone mature enough for that is mature enough for vulgar language. Or they should be.
11113644
Yeah that's what I was thinking; the timing doesn't quite match up and Prey's mother never fought back, so being a grandmother is far more fitting. You put what I was thinking into words.
Really, I just want to see how Prey interacts with the thestrals. He probably shares a lot of similar viewpoints with them, as usual with the villains of this fic. He has almost certainly more in common with them than the ponies that march him around every damned day.
11113602
Never heard it either. Seen it written a few times & checked the dictionary function & that's what it means.
11113933
Well, I suppose you're right. Just thinking of the Teen rating. Probably over reacted. Reader opinion seems to indicate it's so
In the words of Emily Locatella (SNL)
"Never mind"
I love this story so fucken much. Ive kept on eye on it for months now, and ive found that the crane wives actually go really good with reading this, the absolute best has to be unraveling. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AC1FSpx_tBA
Damn this is a good chapter, even if it’s only a storm the conflict between the guards are coming to a head real fast
Well crap, my money was on psychotic pegasi but this…. This was unexpected
11113931
Why yes, yes you did. 😄
11113895
11113644
11113418
11113382
11113273
As usual, I can confirm nor deny nothing of those theories. Some are quite inventive though!
11113875
11113655
There is the self risk for using the bone rot mine, yes. There is also the fact that if they are outnumbered, and it's not a bluff, the rest of the Myrrdon thestrals will kill them on the spot in retaliation. The bone rot mine is a weapon only good for a one time use. After that, Prey has no more 'bullets in the chamber', so to speak.
11113644
A long and detailed explanation going through all the possibilities and maybes. I cannot confirm or deny, (it might be something else entirely 😊) but those are well reasoned.
11113450
A lich is also a credible possibility.
11113250
Surprise! Instead of sharp-toothed fish ponies, we have sharp-toothed bat ponies!
11113348
I will be answering most of the questions about Myrddon's motivations next chapter. Some mystery is still involved though.
I wouldn't go through Prey's backpack, I know the kinds of things he keeps there.
I'd get a Bomb Disposal expert to do it.
11114268
That'd be two bullets in the chamber, actually, Crimson has one as well.
11113602
I also live in Kentucky, and I do remember "twat" being used as an insult, though that was 20+ years ago. It kinda fell outta favor. I also lived in South Carolina, where I heard it more often, though that was still over 20 years ago.
Okay, you can NOT trust someone who says "we aren't murderers" while they've admitted to leaving prisoners to die AND are literally IN THE MIDDLE OF MURDERING A TOWN WITH A GIANT STORM.
They've proven conclusively that they don't operate on logic or facts, don't care about hurting or killing others, and they don't accept personal responsibility for their actions. They're psychotic and dangerous.
(Also I'm surprised, I expected Sirens since that would've explained why everyone was so irrationally aggressive and stupid all of a sudden.)
11114349
Two bullets then. A shotgun you could say.
Although, after the first Bone Rot mine, Myrrdon will definitely be on the look out and see the second one coming.
Thanks for the chapter! Really thrilling cliff hanger. Looking forward to the next one.