This is a story about a sheep. A little sheep, locked deep in prison, put there by ponies. He doesn't want to be there, but then he's had to do a lot of things he doesn't want to. It's a shame he deserves to be in there.
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Yay! New chapter! I wonder how Lilly is...
and prey mood soured
Uh oh. What does Luna want...?
*reads ending*
Why are you doing this to me?
Hell yeah.
Gonna keep it short and sweet this time:
Hopefully 'Her Majesty' isn't on any sort of warpath; proverbial, or otherwise.
Well, forget Lilly! I want to know more about Luna now
Things just kept getting more and more interesting. I want to know where All of this is leading to.
Kintsugi
Some things only become perfect when they're broken.
Also, goddam. That cliffhanger.
Hoping Pray comes out of this unharmed
The best mental response it's...beautiful
Nice to see prey adjusting to his life. I look forward to his decision between staying with the guard, or leaving to do warlockery again. Also, Luna. :D
That ending is a bruh moment.
Lemon pink: lets make a secret base in the crystal caves under canterlot
Me: *sweats profusely while thinking about the coming changeling invasion*
These cliffhangers are going to be the death of me. I'm almost mad at how effective your writing is.
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A Certified bruh moment™ I should add, damn cliffhangers
Oh shit, oh fuck, oh shit, oh fu-!
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They can be good. As long as it isn't several years like a lot of good fics on here.
Meanwhile, in Prey's mind after seeing Luna:
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Yeah, it just Big Sad© to see good stories leave off on some of the best parts.
Honestly, if I had half a damaged brain cell when it came to writing I would write one-off chapter's for cancelled stories to resolve the cliffhanger.
Nothing sucks more then never having the answer to the cliffhanger
The next chapter can't come soon enough!
Huzzah!!!! The plot has been doubled!!!!
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Well, uh, sorry about the cliff hanger yet again? NoHurtPls
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:)
(It's fine lmao. It builds up and makes me excited for the next chapter.)
It's funny to see the word "healing" all the time when everything try to crush the lamb at every corner.
And now the awkward out-of-touch super executive is here, when was the last time we got something good out of it ? Never.
Now, why would luna try to do this stuff in a hurry ? Since there's hardly any out of character moments, it could either be some divine punishment, or she ask them to chose which funny hats to wear at the next surprise party.
Very godo chapter, I can't wait for the next one, good job, as always.
Why do I get the feeling that we'll see more of this?
The worst part about reading each chapter is that I have to wait for the next one. Damn it, this story’s good!
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"Tune in next time!" 🎧🎬🎤
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The Royal "We" is pleased.
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Hmm, let's see how many hooves Luna can fit in her mouth by the end of the conversation. I imagine she's either there for a belated apology, or about to drop a bombshell on their prisoner status. The way Alfalfa Dale went, along with the revelation of Prey's previous abuse, probably has her reconsidering all this. Not to mention how many eyes are now on her and the Night Guard and plotting an inquisition. Word gets to the press that Luna employs an abused child prisoner on a watchlist in her secret investigation squad and all credibility goes up in flames. Three points though if she's just covering her ass cause Celestia has taken an interest and Luna could care less about ruining lives as long as she can prove something to her sister.
"Things have been getting kinda hard for you guys, so I decided to bring on someone new! He had the same kind of restraints as Prey. Weird, right?"
Imagine if Luna has known about Prey being a mind leech and/or over sixty and just casually mentions it.
But would it be so difficult to give Scenic something back? If nothing else, Prey respected Scenic's desire not to become a killer.
And so Preys cold, black, shriveled heart grew half a size that day...
Its a sign of a good story when you could of stopped on almost any paragraph in this chapter and it still would feel like a cliffhanger.
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🎄 "It came without ribbons, it came without tags. It came without packages, boxes, or bags." 🎁
Isn't Prey generous like that?
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"By the by, we knowst that thou art a mind leech. They execution is at midnight. Just FYI. Don't be late." 🌙
When the readers convince the author to keep Lilly alive but all we did was make her suffer.
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prey popped into my head when i saw this
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Worked for Scheherazade.
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Yeah, pretty much. 😆
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What do you mean? It only means that Prey's... 'Pets' get more food.
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At least the new chapter here should be coming out fairly soon. Uploads art about twice a month, one chapter fairly early and the other late in the month. Meaning we should be getting this new chapter soon. Maybe a week?
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Just ctrl + f and search the incorrect word in the chapter. Helps me a lot when I need to find a certain word/thing on a web page.
Hmm, after rereading the last few chapters, perhaps Luna is there to ask about Prey's family?? I mean this has happened before in the story where we all thought something bad was happening(Them finding Prey is immortal) when really it was only the scars. It seems like a bad situation but perhaps Luna had a look into the report of the INDS and tried to contact his parent only to never get a response and now shes asking Prey?
I have yet to find anyone else with this theory in the comments yet. Unless I missed it. I saw some other theories though.
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Hello there. My upload schedule is, (at present), to manage and upload a chapter every two weeks, at the weekend. Fri/Sat/Sun, something like that. And I aim to have the next chapter finished and out at the end of this week. 🍎
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Yay! Chiffhanger, your death is soon.
At least... Until another takes it's place
Not one to comment normally but hey I particularly like this story. The main character is quite dark and certainly possessed of a damaged mental state but they are still well written and very engaging as a person. That's honestly a pretty tricky accomplishment, I can only hope the antagonists or protagonists I make for DnD as a GM have half the complexity of Prey.
Supporting characters are written quite well too. We get glimpses and peaks at the myriad of personalities you've made for them in how each of act or react through the story. Gloom, Crimson, Scenic, Lilly and all other supporting and even minor characters really seem like they have lived and personalities that are fairly distinct and through Prey we get to see how they interact with the world too!
Your really using Prey's ability to tap into the mental layer of things exceptionally well. Most people tend to use mind related abilities in a very all or nothing manner but you truly get across that while it's a potent tool for Prey it's real power is drawn out by his cunning mind and exceptional social skills. Even then it's not all powerful and he finds trouble getting the best outcome in the situations he deals with. The runic powers are fairly well done to, very vague in use but they have widespread applications if Prey manages to find the time to work them and conditions to make their stationary nature an asset not a weakness.
With weaknesses it's very intresting that in spite of Prey's mental powers, strength of will and mind, runic abilities, alchemical wisdom, and impressive and adaptable cunning he is still weighed down by his physical weakness and size. His intellect and social skills are impressive but he is far from the all powerful individual many writers fall into writing. It makes his struggles feel very real and engaging, a very compelling character and a very good story.
Your story is probably the one I look most forward too out of everything I read nowadays! And I've lost count of the tabs I have for novels and manga, I'm only able to navigate the tabs through a careful system. Still I can always find yours and I hope you'll be able to find the motivation for this story for as long as possible, it's a very satisfying read. Thank you for taking the time to share this story with other people!
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Thank you for the kind sentiment and feedback. 😊 The breakdown of Prey's abilities and also just as importantly, his limitations, is quite accurate. Runes are great, if you want to do something in the future, and right here. But if you want something done immediately? Like, say, stop the scarecrow from eating your face? (🎃) Well, then a strong kick and/or unicorn magic would be much preferred.
I do try and make each character unique, because in real life, everyone's different. Much like you've pointed out, two big failing points in lots of other stories I've read, (no offence to them), everyone is just a slightly different blend of the same taste and just sort'a blur together, and the other one is where the MC powerful, confident, strong, and always in the right. They get very 'samey'.
Anyway, thanks again, hope you like where the story eventually ends up. 😄 Still a loooong ways to go writing wise yet.
When you spend thirty minutes refreshing a page, you might have to admit you have a problem.
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I don't have a problem. I can stop whenever I want...
I just dont want to.
Before a new chapter, I felt this is way overdue.
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