This is a story about a sheep. A little sheep, locked deep in prison, put there by ponies. He doesn't want to be there, but then he's had to do a lot of things he doesn't want to. It's a shame he deserves to be in there.
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Mmm... Revenge is a dish best served copiously with a side of fire. Tasty.
Valour's death was cathartic.
Wait.... They can see where the electrite feather is, even worse, Luna can see where the electrite feather is.
Great chapter. I'm tired so I won't go into much detail on it, but Prey finally starting on his murder list leading into the pincushion fills my excitement for what happens next even more. I'm so and so on the griffon mission, but I do definitely want to know the outcome still.
Nebulous, not nebulas. One is mysterious and unformed, the other is a group of clouds of dust in space.
I had forgotten Captain Valour, sort of. I thought he might have been one of the Border Guard from fifty-odd years ago, but that wouldn't make much sense. Not least because he'd have remembered Prey, had he been one of the ones who took him to Dreverton. Good he's off the list, and I won't miss him. Wonder if Prey's going after the Fields family next.
I think Prey miscalculated by not forming a dream avatar; Luna knew he was there, and the fact he didn't have one would have been more noticeable than if he'd had one. Should have been the smallest and least offensive sheep he could have been.
Never forgot Valour. Just never thought he will go down now of all times.
Just like that.
This...this was extremely satisfying
The development with Selenia's Pincushon is certainly interesting, there's a whole armory of Checkov's Guns that could play into it somehow.
I'm putting my chips on the pincushion either A: being used for the mysterious list item one, or B: being used to pull the night guards out of Griffonstone if something goes horribly wrong.
Спасибо автору за этот отличный расказ.
(Thanks to the author for this great story.)
WHY YOU LITTLE SH-
I love that we get to have confirmation and action of way says "just one touch"
Now we know he wasn't exaggerating and why he was under such heavy precautions because all it takes is one small touch and there's no coming back.
I think it also shows us why Prey hates touching people or being touched because it is scary how quick and easy it would be to end someone
the eight Night Guards who'd d been sent to
it would've been giving in, (Capitalize)
As everyone has been saying, another good chapter and fine development for Prey, giving Valour the Unlikeable a chance he really didn't deserve. I also find myself doubting that Prey will go after Big Fields, the connection is too tenuous, though he may use it as additional justification if BF somehow wrongs him in the future. I have a feeling Triton Fell will come up again though, possibly already has, I suddenly have an uncomfortable feeling he might be have hired a certain investigator.
Also called it on the needle, heck yeah.
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Or third, being used to remove the tracers.
Valour is like a nastier, less stoic, and more zealous version of Javert.
Regarding the pincushion, since it seems like it has the power to alter reality itself, couldn't Prey use it to wish his golden manacles away, make it so everyone simply forgets him, or even kill one of the Princesses?
One one hoof, I need to remember that murder. It will certainly fit fell into my WoD setting.
On the other side: I didn't realy understand the pincushion. Can somebody fill me in on the details why and how it's apperance matters and what's it effects are?
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Even worse, if the magical artifact looks like a star, and Luna is COVERED in stars.....
He's forgetting one thing... Luna has a tracking bracelet on him, she knows he's been to captain Valor's house.
Or is it more of an activated thing? Like less of a tracker and more of a beacon?
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Selenia's pincushion. As to what it is... It's a dark magic artifact with some very concerning and abstract effects. He stole it off those unicorn thieves who came to kill him after defeating them all. But how to accurately use the darn thing, and exactly how it recharges, Prey is only slowly figuring out. It didn't exactly come with a user manual. 😆
As to why he hasn't used it yet? Well, because it's a dark magic artifact. Those things are dangerous, especially the seemingly wish granting variety. 🎃
i.ibb.co/DRybfB9/300px-Surprised-Shaq.jpg
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And it apperantly just granted him a wish, didn't it?
Regarding the pincushion, I would have laughed so hard if prey had accidentally wished for his sewing needle back.
I wonder how it actually recharged though. It seems like it getting a new pin coincided with Valor dying. I wonder if evil acts recharge it, or simply the act of killing does (if it's not coincidental).
copper coats and
There are several bits where the uses of apostrophes get mixed up. For example, "looking into the griffin's own gemstone trade", the apostrophe before the S implies it is a singular griffin owning the trade, and would be best served with the apostrophe on the end of griffins, as then it uses a plural possessive, "griffins' gemstone trade". It could also be done with no apostrophe, as it would still be a plural, but the fact it is referencing something of particular ownership of the griffins means that it is better to have an apostrophe after. Similarly, "The griffin's don't have an industrial gem trade" is mentioning the trade, but it is not directly referencing ownership, and so it is not possessive and also is relating to the plural, so it would have no apostrophe.
Like that, "There are going to be unicorn's scanning the house" should have no apostrophe, as it is a plural and no possession, just an action.
It should be having a close look at the mindlock enchantment.
Hmph, too long of a monologue, this was needlessly risky, and I won't sleep soundly until I see some newspapers talking about his death, also pinning alcohol on him was careless, especially if he was that straight in his... hooves ?
People may ask where the bottles come from, when he bought them, and when he drinks them.
It was sloppy, a full 180 on his assumed personality, especially since he sounds always alert, I would have bring in some training equipment, then just break his mind and just choke him with it, he was tired, some training went wrong, he kicked a candle by accident and went up in flames.
I also hate his decision to "die a martyr", does it have some link with how he decided to scream ? What if the helmet has some kind of blackbox type enchantment on it ? What if "Criminal" is some kind of solar guard equivalent of "hey alexa" ? He also has a lot of friends in high places, it would make sense for him to be "guarded" somehow, he's a VIP in his own rights.
I would have just put a sheet over this helmet, then mind break him then set up the fire trap, there was no point in talking with the most antagonistic unicorn in existence, even more than the warlock.
Yes, this is what paranoia looks like.
Excellent chapter as usual, very enjoyable and a big setup for the next play, Prey started to work on his list, things are picking up faster and faster.
I hope for a good ending, the poor little sheep deserves it.
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Are we sure it is a wish? From the use we've seen before, it seemed like it was a summoning device. It took Prey from his place in the fabric of the world, and 'darned' him into a new one, which fits with the sewing-ball motif of the artefact. The Thief focused on 'whoever was controlling the veropede', and pushed the needle down, and brought him into the null circle. Notice how Lambs Prey used 'seemingly wish granting', not that it necessarily was a wish
Prey: I swore I'd be a better person after laying my family to rest and confronting my past.
Also Prey: 1st degree murder with a side of reputational ruin.
You gotta love him.
Jokes aside this chapter creates a lot of questions. Why does Prey not have a mental avatar. Why is Luna's memory magic so low quality. What are her limits with dream magic anyway. What's the Pin cushion's deal? How many people are on Prey's list? I think Gloom was on it? What is the richest Pony in the world going to do when his nephew dies suddenly?
Valour is dead! Yippee!
Big Fields is Greenfields' grandson! I had wondered where that old bourgeois went and I was certain either him or his offspring would eventually be mentioned. Now Big Field's importance makes much more sense!
So many wonderful things this chapter.
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It seems to recharge requiring both an object of sentimental value and the death of someone. It's like forging a lich's phylactery, you need to kill someone in order to do so.
I wonder.... I wonder if he manages to recharge the Pincushion, and intends to use it to break the tracers off of him, but for some reason has to sacrifice his freedom (the wish) to save crimson.
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Removing the tracer bands would be easy and direct, which obviously means it won't work.
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Alexa play Smooth Criminal.
For real though, I don't think that "criminal" would be any kind of keyword, because Valour (and any other guard) would use the word a hundred times each day in normal conversation.
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I would imagine it being a beacon sort of thing, due to how many status updates she would be getting if it was on 24/7, then times that by two to include crimson
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I would love to see the reactions of everybody from option B
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The question is whether Prey's position is recorded at all times or if it only gives out current location and nothing more. And for how long is his location recorded? The far more insidious possibility is that they leave behind some kind of magical residue that authorities can check for when suspecting foul play. However, Prey should've been able to pick up on that with simple testing.
Personally, I doubt it's being recorded because even if it worked by magic, I can't imagine what setup would allow Equestrians to know every place he's ever been. It's easy to simply track his current position by tracking some magical signature directly toward his location, but there's a lot more that goes into reverse engineering and recording the precise location of something over time. Just think of how complex modern GPS systems are.
Plus nobody except Prey and Crimson have the bracers, so it really seems like something Luna shoddily threw together in a few minutes. Tracking position like that isn't a matter of power, it takes time to set something like that up.
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My prediction is that at some point Prey will have to sacrifice the pincushion's charges to save Crimson or something of the like. Not quite putting himself in danger to help, but showing that he's willing to give up a valuable resource for his friend. And then he'll berate himself for being so weak and sentimental as to throw away his chance at freedom for some red eyesore, for something as petty as caring about his wellbeing. Baby steps, Prey, baby steps...
People like Captain Valour don't stop crime, they perpetuate it. Draconic policing measures and punitive justice are barbaric and don't actually help anyone. It also shows how immensely privileged he is. Prey isn't just some primordially evil demon or the Joker, he doesn't do bad things simply because he likes doing them. Prey was forced to commit crimes to survive. Even now, over half a century later, if Prey hadn't made those veropedes, he'd be dead, and so would the rest of the ISND. People like Valour made it so Prey had to do those bad things, and they are ensuring that he can never stop. I can't really blame Prey for not wanting to die, because we can't compel people to sacrifice their lives for the greater good. So either we gotta kill him, but then we should expect him to go down with a fight, or we could give him amnesty, a chance to start over. And not the fake, nominal kind of redemption that Luna's been giving him. But that's never going to happen.
Victims needs an apostrophe to indicate possessive form
As anyone told you that vengeance is bether serv cold?
Prey know
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Ever hear about a "Monkey's Paw" wish?
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Yeah, but usually you have to hold the paw. That the paw teleports to you is definitly new :D
This revenge feels somewhat phyrric, as if prey espected It to be more satisfying that It was. Anyhow i Hope you tell us the name the town where valor lived/died
So Captain Valour died having no kindness for criminals, called everything Prey said a lie, spat on generous chances to talk his way out, and used brute force to the point he didn’t think to try to understand the situation. He may be the type to only look out for his “world?” and not too humorous( the only time he might have been having fun is setting up Prey at the interrogation for violence?)
Valour really lived up to the tenants of harmony, didn’t he? Why wouldn’t Celesta promote him to the top as what a guard should be? A bit disappointed there wasn’t more poking at this but Valour clearly wasn’t the type to... well consider what hypocrisy is, let alone register talks about it.
Oh dear, I've finally caught up. Now what am I going to do with my life?
Pay attention, that's what. You'd better not give up now, you hear me! I might have to finish it myself if you don't! And I'm a much worse writer than you!
Always the twists. Love it.
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Thanks once again for pointing out those mistakes, as always. It is always helpful. 🙂
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Just. Like. That.
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Thanks for spotting that. Fixed now. 👍 And will anything further come of the feather in Crimson's dream avatar. Maaaybe... Maaaybe not. 🙃
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I am both gladdened and saddened to hear you have arrived here at the end with the rest of us. 😊😞 Hope you found it worth it. I try to make a new chapter every two weeks, so, uh, tune in next time for the next chapter? 😅
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Revenge rarely is. It's a hateful act because perpetrated by those who act on that hate. But when has Prey ever been the good guy?
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By the same token of hating everything criminal, Valour also loved everything lawful. It would make him a good leader of the Guard force in that respect, certainly, and a zealous defender of his country, one that could never be bribed or corrupted... Just not very big on the empathy thing. Or forgiveness.
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That's a great idea! Yeah, that would have been hilariously ironic. 😂
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Yeah, that pretty much does sum it up. Like going on a diet. "I will eat better!... But I'll start tomorrow." 😇😈