This is a story about a sheep. A little sheep, locked deep in prison, put there by ponies. He doesn't want to be there, but then he's had to do a lot of things he doesn't want to. It's a shame he deserves to be in there.
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I wasn't even paying attention to the date this time around, this chapter snuck up on me and all of a sudden I check and low and behold! 2 Minutes ago!
This is one hell of a surprise, and this chapter is going to be intense with whatever Prey has in store for the Changelings hive.
I knew it.
The Hive Mind was as much as a vulnerability as it was a strength, although it allowed massive protection from mind magic, it also bound all of the minds together, allowing for a thing to destroy them all at the same time.
Protection in numbers is powerful, that is until there's Something powerful enough to take you all on at once, then it becomes a vulnerability.
... I'm not even surprised any more that the only words to pop out of Luna's mouth were the sort that makes me wonder whether she thinks of the people under her command are actual, real people with complex emotions and thoughts rather than vectors of her will that occasionally get distracted by pointless internal workings. At this point I'm pretty sure Celestia had nothing to do with Luna's fall: bitch just systematically alienated everyone around her to such a degree that everyone was intimately aware of just how socially retarded she was and wanted nothing to do with her, and then got pissy.
With that out of the way, am I crazy or is Prey doing so hardcore denial about how remorseful he is? Because he keeps repeating how much he doesn't care, and that it was a good thing really, that I think it's really eating at him.
Error Report
with their tufted years
opportunities if
we're[you're] willing[,]but[to] both dig deep enough,and getA few things of note, I feel you might have been harping on the fact that Prey felt no guilt for the changelings a bit too much this chapter. The rule of three exist for a reason, and with how much you harped on about how guiltless Prey feels, it makes one think that you are trying to convey that he is lying to himself. Which he might be, I'm just pointing out the impression and emotions you evoked with this.
A couple things that surprised me was that Prey didn't even seem to notice that Luna openly admitted that she'd been talking about her sister, the Sun Wolf, about him. More over that it seemed she was loudly implying that Celestia was the one who made her 'apologize' and put the golden bands back on.
As for the second thing... why wouldn't Prey be able to go flying, he has access to a LOT of wings right now. Both changeling and pony. Surely with time he might be able to figure out some mildly necromantic magic harness to use those wings to fly. Not openly of course, but a harness of flight would be so terrifically useful for both him and Lemon when doing things. The fact it would let him grow closer to Crimson and experience the joys of flight, well that's simply a bonus and absolutely not the reason he spent countless hours and magical material to make a powerful magical item.
11017371
I somewhat disagree with you this time, I got a strong feeling that this time she really didn't want to be doing what she was doing but had been both pressured into it by her sister and her duty as a ruler. She admitted that she really should have apologized for the whole showing Prey the dead can come back, but his treasured dead aren't important enough for it to work, but her position prevents her from making it a true apology. And she was all but screaming that she really didn't want to put the tracers back on Prey and would have been perfectly happy to leave things as they were, but her sister and the laws that bind the land both demanded that she do so.
11017278
Wait, there's a regular update schedule?
11017384
Hello, and thank you for pointing out those corrections. 😊
In answer about what you speculated: In short, Prey is worried deep down that he might actually really feel guilty. So he's reinforcing in his own head that he definitely-totally-is-not guilty!
With the wings things, yes, he could in theory make something out of *cough* spare parts, however they wouldn't be his wings, so to speak. He would still only be a passenger. Prey is mostly referring to how, as a sheep, he was born without wings/interchangeable with freedom.
11017371
Maybe just a tiny-wee bit on the denial, yes.
11017349
That sums it up quite succinctly. Well put.
11017371
Luna spent many words apologising about being unable to resurrect people; looks like Prey's unintended attack in Ponyville actually managed to hurt, and she denies connection to avoid that. Freakouts she has in the solitary of her chambers must be truly epic.
11017349
I guess its not so much about power as about hungers nature. By definition its on the border between mind and reality, thus cannot be countered by will, and cannot counter facts.
Please forgive this slight bout of pedantry but an accidental genocide is a contradiction, as by definition a genocide requires intent.
More generally, I fail to entirely grasp why there's so much fuss over the "second purge", from Pray's perspective at least. There were hundreds, potentially many thousands of casualties, sure, but it was all a complete accident. Prey had no control over what happened. In contrast to, say, the "first purge", where Prey used a chemical weapon to barbeque an untold number of changelings. Has he really changed so much that an accident makes him feel more guilt than a war crime?
Then again, Prey changing seems to be what this arc is all about, and I suppose that him feeling some guilt over inadvertently ending thousands of lives is not a bad thing.
What a great chapter! I really didn't expect prey to accidentally Thanos snap the changeling minds like that
Wow Luna, why do you have to be such a bitch? Seriously, the Luna of this story is terrible. Prey came back willingly and she still shackles him. After all he did for you!
I am really hoping this Luna reaps what she sows eventually.
As for the Changelings... Well, they reaped the Whirlwind.
Seeing Luna coming in never fails to make me tense up with knowing how she is always the harbinger of bad news. I can't help but wonder now how much Celestia knows about prey as there could have been a loss of information through translation and with how the princesses are I don't see it as farfetched. At least that is my thoughts on why Crimson was able to drop his cuffs, but prey wasn't. Besides that it was an amazing chapter as always.
11017436
Yes, I am trying to portray Prey feeling some guilt now, where he hasn't in the past. Apparently, I didn't do a very good job of it.
Although with the first purge vs the second purge, it is a bit about the scale:
The orichalcum bomb killed hundreds. The mind-break whammy killed thousands, and not just those under Mount Canter, but many of those back in their hive. The old, the young, the brood tenders, the drones who'd never even been aboveground before, all of those, not just the war swarm. If that makes sense?
I mean, it's not much of a distinction when all changelings are already predatory parasites by nature, and therefore hardly innocent, and are literally hatched to give their lives to the hive, but still...
Ah well, I'll hopefully write better in the future. 😄
11017466
You did portray Prey feeling guilty, it just didn't make that much sense to me that he felt that way.
Having said that I'd like to mention that, at least in my opinion, one of the only flaws this story has is repetitiveness (which I suppose is something all long stories suffer from to an extent, otherwise they wouldn't be long).
Prey's reflections are particularly guilty of this, to the point that him going on and on about the inherent unfairness of the world is more or less akin to, idk, Nynaeve's braid tugging in the Wheel of Time series. Usually, it's fine, the kind of minuscule annoyance that's instinctually glossed over. However, it also means that it's hard to notice when, like in this chapter, Prey's fixating on an event is supposed to communicate something (I wasn't really sure until I read the comments).
11017384
"A king bereft a strong spine can only crumple under the weight of the crown" - Vritrasura
11017402
Yeah, biweekly updates.
11017466
I'm seconding Pantelado here because as I writer who second guesses their writing a lot, I know how hard it can be to break through your own opinion that you screwed up. You did a very good job portraying Prey as trying to convince himself he feels nothing, the only reason myself and others even bothered to point it out is because we likewise wouldn't expect him to feel anything so the fact he's lingering on it sticks out as odd. When you explained that yes he's trying to convince himself it made perfect sense and confirmed my suspicions.
11017540
Its his best way to cope with dark stuff, so doing it often makes sence. Thinking same things and reacting in similar ways to similar situations is what personality is all about, i doubt characters would feel as defined without some sort of repetition.
Dang, a chapter where Prey isn't thrown accros the board of destiny, fels good to see him able to live a little, although he did got his bands back.
But now he has a weakness too.
Good chapter, feels good to read.
wishe'z were fishe'z
I saw that! Don’t think that it passed my notice that Garrow remnant is slowly bleeding in like Snake’s did.
Says the Alicorn who made a promise and who is breaking it at this very moment out of convenience. She could have called for Prey to re-collar her but she chose to do it in this way when she had made a promise about it when he was collared the first time.
Meh, likely you have plans for the character and story but it is just annoyingly frustrating, and not in the fun way since it has been going for so long with little to no improvement.
Edit:
Huh, is she doing this in Prey's dreams because she knows she is doing something that she should be ashamed of and chooses to do so in the night with vain attempt to keep it down low? Since this _should_ be a strong signal to her loyalists on what is the value of honor and dedication in her eyes.
immedidetly —> immediately
the the —> the
Good chapter, slow, but it filled in what happened during the three days… now only 14 more to go! Lol
Luna once again showing us just how out of touch she is. Couldn't spare a moment of her time to save Prey's life, but went out of her way to break a promise to him, just so she could slap him in irons. It's painful how messed up she is. I love it.
11017614
Or maybe she's just an out of touch alicorn.
She comes from a time where rulers have rights over everything.
It could be she consider her nightly dream walk a simple "visit" thus not breaking the promise of entering a dream, or even a favor because her subject doesn't have to walk or have a meeting of some sort.
She could be ashamed, she could also know everything about Prey and keep a close eye on him, or she's just oblivious about everything else.
That's the good thing about Luna, I hate everything she does, but maybe we'll get a sort of explanation with her absence during Chrysi's crisis.
With each scene Luna is in the higher my blood pressure rises. I truly hope Luna gets murdered horribly, she deserves it.
Who's this? Harmony...? This is just... So out of place, that Prey would consciously ask himself and then answer said question
This has made me unreasonably angry.
11017391
I think you need to go back and reread that conversation, guy. About the only thing she did right was ask how he was doing (so painfully awkwardly that it was obvious that she wasn't used to offering any such niceties to others), but she then proceeded to trivialise any answer he could give by explaining how everyone is so busy nowadays. She didn't say that she was glad he was safe. She didn't say that she was sorry that she couldn't help him back.
And then she "apologised" for not rezzing his dad, (and wasn't there some suspicion amongst the ISND that it was his dad that had abused him? Did she just not get that memo?) before again belittling and trivialising his feelings as that merely those of a child. Hold on to that thought, because that's going to be important in this next bit.
Then she put him back in chains. And let's get something clear about that: Luna had no qualms about slapping Prey back in chains. She even lied about Crimson agreeing with her that it needed to be done. She didn't ask if he wanted to continue working for the ISND. She didn't look into finding some other way for a child to serve that didn't involve risking life and limb. She didn't even address the fact that he was going to go to court soon due to the flagrant abuse of the very laws she's claims to be upholding. Prey is useful where he is, and she has no interest in changing that. Prey, the child with no (seeming) magic of his own to keep him safe and that everyone seems to agree really should not be where he is.
I'm pretty sure the only reason she did this via dream is that even she could tell how bad it would look for her to reward loyalty with chains.
11017655
If she is 'out of time', and it is likely she is then she is doubly foolish. If she is from more brutal times then she has seen the effects of loyalty, how it is earned, preserved and maintained. With more brutal 'good old times' it is more likely that you get something sharp in your internal organs, or internal organs of those you love if you happen to be immortal.
This what she is doing would be self-destructive in such setting, she would have seen people snap or swap their loyalties if they are consider themselves to be spurned too often. She is destroying faith in her if she mistreats her vassals and do not provide for them, defend them and stand up to them. If she would be 'out of time' then she would be much more keen to see these things, maybe even better than Celestia who likely has grown content and lazy since she has to juggle national loyalties and her cult of personality keeps her standing.
11017384
I agree, I think Prey is lying to himself about not feeling guilty, what really tipped me off to this was when Prey talked about his kill count.
Prey Hates Ruin, Stinger, and Razor, he doesn't want to be like them, he certainly doesn't want to be worse than them in any way, so why would he even bother bringing them up if he wasn't subconsciously comparing himself to the people he hates?
Have to wonder
1) If it wasn't mind magic what DID kill all those Changelings?
2) What did Prey say he was doing while gone? The truth was hardly an option.
As this story progresses, the more it seems that this Equestria is a nightmare to live in (especially for non-ponies).
I hope we learn why the 2 thestral clans are so loyal. Because in this story Luna has very little going for her besides raw power. I mean even nobles bully her, Luna is such a loser.
Prey's punishments are not unreasonable in them selves. An ankle bracelet tracker, curfew and forced service in the military/police. It's the context of Prey that makes it absurd. Prey is a 14 year old, small time thief, whose father was recently murdered. They have not ever read out what crimes Prey comited to him. Nor have they given him a set time for how long he will be punished. I'm looking forward to Prey's court hearing, maybe we'll get answers on why they're doing this.
If Prey wanted to let Crimson fly him, couldn't he just get a sky wagon? Or if he's on a budget, a box and a length of rope? No one would be touching anyone, and it'd make travelling easier for them.
I'm also surprised no one's made the connection that Prey's phobia of being touched could be linked to possible past trauma like physical or sexual abuse. Then again, only a few people actually know about it and they might not be able to make that assumption.
We're slowly creeping up on the royal wedding. This makes Chrysalis seem more like a desperate leader trying to recover from a crippling defeat than an overconfident megalomaniac.
11017830
I think I have an answer for the first question.
Kind of like how Lemon Pink entered his mind when she was a cultist in the first story arc, when Prey touched one of the attacking Changlings, instead of one mind, thousands connected went against him. Instead of fighting, he let them in, and they ended up touching the shard of what Prey found in the Deeper Green and breaking them all.
That's what I assume the deal is.
I really liked this chapter, the way you resolved the changelings was satisfying, I would have to double check if someone predicted it because it makes a lot of sense. That Prey willingly choose to come back was unexpected, I didn’t think he was so ‘redeemed’. And I really liked that Prey is trying to convince himself that he didn't feel remorse...
Confirmed a one-year gap till the wedding! That's a lot of time! I think that throws away my theory that the vacations happens at the same time unless you do some kind of time-skip in between. And now I'm trying to figure out what the future might bring: Strange Happenstance, the conflict between the Guards and I can't think of anything else… So, we might see completely new stuffs or a huge time gap.
I'm going to be torched, but Celestia is (kind of) right, there are rules and laws for a reason, and he is currently serving his sentence. (But the way that Luna communicates is awful). What we still don't know is how much time is Prey commuting (is that the word?) from his sentence 🤔 Because Lemon falsified his records to say thievery so it can’t be that long, at least it should be less than Crimson's…
That 'know' should be 'now', and there were a few too many 'though's in close proximity for my personal liking at some point, but now I can't find it.
I think Luna thinks putting the tracers back on in a dream is a mercy, if she's aware Prey doesn't like being touched. Because he's not aware he's being touched when the touches occur. But I don't think she's aware of that particular idiosyncrasy of Prey's.
11017881
He's got enough scars they assume physical abuse. You're right, Prey has had counseling & they should have spotted that.
Then again, Spike had a doctor that had to be told that Spike was a dragon.
It’s chapter like this that are made so well, that makes me really want to give the story another like or something.
God damn.
Almost everyone associating with Prey could very well have the words"damaged goods" tattooed on their foreheads. What a merry hodge podge of hurt individuals.
Also, I'm too lazy to actually put it here, so just imagine that my reaction to the golden bands swapping was the "Thomas has never seen such bullshit before" meme.
11017868
It does not make sense only if you assume that the powers that be do not know about the history of Prey. It could very well be that they have be come aware of what he is but are going for some sort of half-assed reformation. If that is the case many things would start making more sense.
11017868
It is, that one clan who went away might have been the smart ones. Would be so satisfying to see Luna lose that one clan and be smacked by reality. All i am saying is that if Crimson or Prey would be called to tell about what kind of ruler Luna is by them then it might be glorious for several seconds, and it is even possible that Luna will be distracted and they can make their retreat and not be torn apart immediately.
Remind me again, what crime did they think Prey committed? I thought they thought he was a thief or something.
Nice to see Crimson pushing a bit on the boundries of the relationship between them. He wants to know more about his friend and show him things from his view. Even if Prey is still fully against it.
11018364
Originally it was theft, yes. However, he was further placed under restrictions and supervision when it was found out he could make Bone Rot mines as a potential threat.
11018167
Everyone except Carton Juice. *everyone else stares accusingly at her*
*Her* "Huh?"
11017868
Well, previously, Prey did ask Crimson about his and Gloom's reasoning for being so loyal. And in essence, the answer was:
"To make sure she does not feel abandoned and turn into Nightmare Night again. That, and because thestrals all believe in duty, and thousands of years ago, their ancestors swore to serve Luna."
Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people. 💀
11017868
Maybe its just harmony working, without elements it usually manifests by giving attuned ponies illogical yet effective ways to resolve situation. So having cheat ability to always do right makes sence for Immortal Champion of Harmony; also explains how they weren't assassinated in millenia, and why their word is the law.