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No seriously, am I an asshole? Am I a dickhead to people?

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When I was 15 I saw my best friend, my childhood friend who had stuck with me for all those years... I saw them die of a heart attack... I don't want to sound so horrible but I wished they died in a different way... a way I could've at least tried to help them avoid... but no, it had to be in a way that made me useless, useless like I've always been... I'm just so sick of being useless... even now, with my dream job I'm still useless, just a highschool drop out sergeant who barely managed to

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Hey guys, I just want you to remember to never take those close to you for granted... Don't use and abuse your family or friends or even those acquaintances who could become your friends... just don't.... take it from experience but it never turns out well...

That flu from yesterday? It's gone. No aches, no pains, blood pressure is back to normal and I don't have a head ache. NOICE

My body aches, my back is in pain, my shoulders hurt, my neck hurts, my wrists hurt, my knees hurt, all my joints hurt... My skins hyper sensitive and my brain is throbbing. Not sure what the problem is but I took some Aspirin because of its blood thinning properties, I think my blood pressure is above what it should be and is putting strain on my muscles and nerves.

My little bro is 17 and apparently today he got offered a Full Military Scholarship after he finishes year 11... so fucking proud of him. I do hope he succeeds because if he aces his End of Year exams and completes that Scholarship then he will be a higher rank then me. This will be really good for him.