I have a... confession(?) to make... · 3:28pm Aug 13th, 2016
When I was 15 I saw my best friend, my childhood friend who had stuck with me for all those years... I saw them die of a heart attack... I don't want to sound so horrible but I wished they died in a different way... a way I could've at least tried to help them avoid... but no, it had to be in a way that made me useless, useless like I've always been... I'm just so sick of being useless... even now, with my dream job I'm still useless, just a highschool drop out sergeant who barely managed to graze past on an Engineering degree and now I'm stationed in a backwater barracks... I'm just so sick of feeling useless... I'm so useless that I can't stop this same recurring nightmare... everytime I even start to feel happy this fucking nightmare crops back up or something happens to remind me of my friend... and I just can't move on, as much as I want I just can't.
I'm..... Im so sorry
But stay strong and keep pushing onwards my friend