Of Bass and Books

by Maverick Huntress

Spontaneous combustion

Thirty minutes later...

I sighed as I exited out of my Ford F1-50, the pouring rain drenching my white hoodie. I flicked up the hood, already annoyed enough as I was. I walked up the stone steps leading toward the door to the apartment complex I lived in. I slid my key-card into the slot, the door beeping as to indicate that it was now unlocked. I walked inside and shut the door, grumpily climbing two sets of stairs on my way to the apartment I currently lived in. I walked down the hall, whistling an odd tune as looked for my number. "409... 411... Ah, there you are #413." I once again slide the card into its respective lock, one click later and I was inside my apartment.

I threw my soaked hoodie onto the ever-growing pile of dirty laundry sitting on top of the washer, not surprised to see that my lazy roommate forgot to run the washer. I made my way over to the fridge, kicking off my shoes and throwing them by the door. I let out a little sigh as I felt the carpet beneath my feet, my thin socks allowing me to feel the threads of the carpet that tickled my feet. After the short transition from entrance carpet to the Kitchen's stone floor I shuffled on over to the fridge. I yanked on the handle, the bright light once again hurting my eyes as the door swung open. I blindly felt around for a snack, my hand latching onto a bottle of beer but decided against it and continued my search for a snack. I had consumed enough of those these last few days to rival even my alcoholic roommate. Eventually I grabbed an apple, cherishing its flavor as its juice flooded my mouth. I let out a 'Mmmmm' as I closed the fridge, walking over to living room. I sat down on the comfy couch and pulled an periodical out of pile of magazines that decorated the coffee table, flipping through the pages with an absent mind until something caught my eye. In large, bold letters the headlines read "THIRTEEN LOGGERS REPORTED MISSING, COMPANY HALTING PROGRESS ON DEFORESTATION OF NORTHERN GEORGIA COUNTY."

"Thirteen loggers missing? Seems pretty unlucky to me." I skim the rest of the article, which included people talking about strange noises unlike they have ever heard coming from the dark bowels of the forest. There were also talk of how storms appeared to appear and disappear above the forest, acting completely independent of the surround weather conditions. I huh'd at this part, some knowledge about how the weather works coming back to me from my science teacher in the eighth grade. That's impossible, unless there was something inside trapping a part of the Earth's atmosphere inside. Or magic. Ha, magic. I crack myself up sometimes. I breezed through the rest of the magazine but found nothing else of interest, throwing it back on top of the pile. I sat there for a moment, board until I realized that I had a sweet stereo system sitting mere feet away from me and the Bluetooth remote to my right. I activate the sound-bar sitting below the TV, switching the input to Bluetooth. I unlocked my phone and scrolled down my recently played list. I look for the strange song from before but no dice, forcing me hit shuffle on my Favorites playlist instead.

"Oh boy we've got a live one here." The Joker cackled as the beginning of Batdance played, a smile appearing on my face as I recalled the old Batman movies. They had a certain something that the newer ones seemed to lack, a certain pzazz if you will. I grabbed the remote and turned it up to twenty, my heading bobbing in sync with sharp BUM DITZ of the drums. It was at this point that my roommate Dave walked in, a scowl on his face.

"What?"

My cranky roommate grabbed the remote, pushing the off button. Now it was my turn to scowl.

"Dude, I was listening to that!"

"And I was sleeping!"

"No you weren't! I heard you watching videos and getting drunk."

"You have no proof."

"I can smell the empty bottles from here dude."

"No you can't!"

I caught a face-full of his nasty breath, my nose wanting to shirvle up and fall of my face as I tried to get rid of the disgusting smell with a few dozen waves of my hand. "Man, you have the worst taste in beer ever."

"Eh, it wasn't the best brew I've had but I though you picked it out."

"Dude I never buy alcohol, you know that. I got it from a friend, said it was a special brew or something and wanted me to have it."

Dave's face once again chained expression, except this was blank and slightly serious-looking. "So does that mean I've been drinking something that you have no idea where it came from for the last few hours?"

"Uhhh, yeah."

The paranoid alcoholic disappeared from view, the sound slamming of a wooden door being slammed shut and someone gagging following shortly after. I rolled my eyes at Dave's overreaction, his paranoia levels soaring through the roof at this point. He was a bit overly cautious and didn't like it when he had no idea where something came from going as far as refusing gifts from people he doesn't know even on his birthday. Something about an assassin trying to kill him or something, but with what happened at the Naughty Ostel I was thinking he might be on the right track... Anyways, He's been that way since I first met him eight years ago in the sixth grade. We had initially avoided each other but once we found at out that we share a common interest in technology (and history), we were like two peas in a pod. I was more of a nerd back then but I've grown out relying on the internet for entertainment and what not since I discovered my natural talent for music. As for him, He's made a bad habit of being on the damn thing every waking moment of his life when he isn't sleeping like a log, often saying he's researching an interesting topic on something groundbreaking. Groundbreaking my ass! I went in for another bit of my apple only to find that I had eaten it to the core with only the seeds and stem remaining. I tossed it in the trash without a second thought as I went back into the kitchen, snatching the pitcher full of punch that was on the counter. I grabbed a spare cup from the cabinet and I poured myself a drink, the flavor distinctly different from before. It tasted strangely of actual fruit, an unusual thing considering I had used a cool-aid pouch to make it earlier. I swallowed and smacked my lips a bit, trying to find the names of fruits. It took me a moment but I was able to taste strawberries, oranges, pineapple, a tinge of passion fruit and even watermelon.

"Hey Dave, come try this punch." I called out to my friend, surprised by the sudden change in flavor.

"Gimme a minute, I have to clean up." He called from the bathroom, the sound of someone barfing finally ceasing. Eighty-three seconds later my friend came out of the bathroom, his shirt slightly reeking of puke.

I poured him a cup, but only to find that he was drinking out of mine when I turned around. "Dude that's disgusting."

"So? All humans share 93% of the same DNA sequences so it cant be that bad. Besides, I haven't gotten sick for the last three years. I doubt some back wash is going to kill me." He took another swig of the drink, his reaction similar to mine.

"Woah, that's a big change in taste. What did you put in this?"

"Nothing other then water and Cool-aid mix." I could tell he was also naming off the different fruits he could taste, furrowing his brow in confusion.

"Odd, could've sworn I tasted banana."

"Really? Mine tasted of watermelon." We both just stood their for a moment, wondering what was going on. In idleness I watched as Dave cleaned his teeth his with his fingernails, another act I disliked witnessing until i noticed something odd.

"Dude, your teeth."

"What about them?" Ugh, he and his questions...

"Just go look in the mirror."

"Fine...."

I started counting down to the time he would see what had happened to his teeth. Seven... Six.... Five... Four... Three... Two.... One.... aaaannndddd-

"AH! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY TEETH?"

Bingo.

I walked over to the bathroom, struggling to to keep myself from laughing at his reaction. His normally uneven, nasty-looking teeth had been cleaned to the point where they shone like the sun and all lined up perfectly. Dave grabbed me and pointed to the bones inside his mouth. "LOOK AT THEM! I JUST DRANK LIKE FIVE BOTTLES OF BEER, ATE THIRTEEN BAGS OF CHIPS, BARFED, AND NOW THEIR ALL CLEAN AND SPARKLY! HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?"

"Chill dude, they just got all neat and clean. Not a big deal.."

"OF COURSE ITS A BIG DEAL! TEETH JUST DON'T CLEAN THEMSELVES!"

"Maybe whatever you were eat and or drinking was a new product designed to get rid of plaque while you ate it."

"THAT... actually makes sense. Like that teeth-whitening stuff you see commercials for, except put into food. Man, that's pretty nifty. Also, did you know that-”

As Dave descended into one of his infamous rants once again, I spaced out a bit and sorta tuned him out. Dave did this ever so often when he's surfing the net and comes across a variety of stuff that I might find interesting. Emphasis on might, as most of the time I could care less. However, as he spoke his tone became more harsh as the topic reached the category of gaming, something he was not all that good at. The lights dimmed a bit as something began to cover the light source, though I gave credit to my glasses for that as they were in fact transition and those florescent light bulbs were pretty damn bright.

"-So I'm playing Counter-strike and I'm on this obstacle course server, you know the ones where you have to dodge all the traps and stuff? Anyways, so I'm the last guy left and I'm nearing the end. I'm like 'Awwww yeah, prepare to feel my- BOOM! Disconnect by the moderator for some BS along the lines of "Gloating because you suck at everything in life." That made me so mad that I-"

The lights are completely obscured at this point. I looked up to see if it was my glasses and ended up inhaling a large cloud of a black gas. I began choking on the smoke that had filled the small confines of the bathroom, feeling like I swallowed as dozen grizzly bears that began mauling my throat and lungs as if they were trespassers. I coughed a few dozen times, my throat now sore and dry. I looked up to reach to my roommate for help when I noticed that his hair was a blazing inferno. And was still ranting.

"Dave." I called out, his voice rising to a yell.

"-I swear when I find him I'm going to shove my boot so far up his-"

"DAVE!"

"WHAT?"

"YOUR HAIR," I coughed again, my body still trying to rid itself of the dangerous gas. "IS ON FIRE!" Dave glanced at his reflection in the mirror, his eyes widening in surprise as he saw the raging fire that had taken residence up on his head. He screamed, looked at me, screamed again and then proceeded to jump in the shower. The result of the cold water making contact with the flames generate a tremendous amount of steam that filled the entire room and the hall, which also had the unusual effect of completely eliminating the cloud of smoke. Another one was the fogging of my glasses, which I tended to after I was done coughing out my lungs. The mist did wonders for my respiratory system, almost magically healing any damage done to my body by the smoke I had inhaled. I placed the glasses back on my face, only for them to fog up once again. I grunted and cleaned off he lenses once more, only for them to fog up again. I tired once more but in the end I decided it would be to wait until after Dave was done putting out the mini inferno on his head. Roughly ten minutes later did Dave finally step out of the shower, his clothes drenched and pants completely wet. I handed Dave a towel, doing my best not to snicker at the hair trailing down his face and obscuring his angry-looking eyes. If he wasn't totally pissed right now I'd laugh my ass off.

"Care to explain to me what the hell is going on?" My friend's voice was muffled by the towel he was using to dry himself off.

"Ummm... you drank a couple of beers i got from a friend a few hours back, probably took a nap, gulped down half of my drink, had you teeth straightened and even, and somehow set yourself on fire."

"Anything else?"

"Not that I can think of." I finished polishing my glasses and put them back on, my eyesight returning back to normal. This action, for some strange reason, drew the attention of my friend who was now staring at me with raised eyebrows.

"What?"

"I didn't know that you could change your eye color, Mr. Dead-eye. I heard of contacts but I don't think you could put those in with the mirror being fogged up and all."

"What are you talking about? I didn't change my..." I used my hand to wipe away the condensation that had gather on the reflective surface, my eyes widening in surprise as I caught a glimpse at them. My eyes had turned a reddish-hue, my cornea and iris now taking up most of the white area. I looked like the friggin' terminator, minus the broken sunglasses and melted skin and circuitry.

"Well, this is certainly surprising. Any knowledge of how this could possibly be happening to us? Because last time I check humans don't normally have color-changing eyes or spontaneously combust when they're pissed off."

"Hey, I think you look pretty cool with red eyes. It's certainly better than having your hair burst into flames and almost burn yourself to a crisp." We both chuckled at his statement for a bit, the light glancing off his pearly-white teeth causing me to wince. I couldn't help but blink a few times, and during one of them I noticed something else that had changed.

"Ummm, Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"You aren't to found of meat are you?"

He gave me a "Are you seriously asking me that?" look.

"Go ahead and put your finger in your mouth. Now tell me what you feel."

Dave complied and inserted a finger in his mouth, covering every inch of his teeth before his eyes began to widen. He repeated felt the area where his canines were, noticing that they had shrunk drastically and were no longer suited to tearing apart the flesh of once-living animals.

"Don'tfreakoutDon'tfreakoutDon'tfreak-" And he was freaking out.

At first his body trembled a bit, but then I noticed that his hair was once again on fire, but this time it was raging like an exploding volcano. It engulfed his entire body, his skin turning a dark charcoal black as veins of what appeared to be lava snaked across his body. His clothes were disintegrated almost instantly, unable to take the intense heat. His glowed similar to that of a demon, a fiery substance now replacing his eyes. When he opened his mouth to speak it was like the entrance to hell was located inside his mouth.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?"

"I HAVE NO IDEA!" I barely managed to shout the phrase, the flames consuming all the oxygen in the air.

"YOU OBVIOUSLY DID SOMETHING! AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR IT!"

Demon-Dave roared in my face, the physical amount of anger and fear I felt in that single roar telling me that he was beyond the point of reasoning and ready to tear my face off. I took a few steps back, adrenalin now coursing through my body as my mind told. With a guttural shout he charged straight at me, the next few moments were a blur as my body acted faster then my mind. His claws were mere inches from my face when I suddenly I dropped to the ground, my back connecting with the tiled floor as he leapt towards me only to find empty air. I shot my legs out and felt them connect with his chest, using them to catapult him a good distance across the apartment, a whimper escaping from Dave's dog as he scampered away from the fight. I got up ninja style, my body snapping forward so that I stood once more on my feet. My back a bit sore but I found that I had no time to complain as a flaming beast was charging right at me. . I prepared to drop once more but I noticed that he was in a full sprint at this point so I could only hope to side-step and not to end up like a piece of KFC’s deep-fried chicken. Thankfully, he was to blinded by rage and confined by the narrow hallway to turn and instead went barreling past me. He kept on truckin’ until his feet connected with the side of the bathtub, his speed sending him head-over-heels and snapping the curtain rod in the process. I stood there for a moment as I caught my breath, thinking it was all over until the curtains suddenly burst into flames. As they burned, a even-angrier demonic Dave rose out of the ashes like phoenix. With a roar that would’ve put a lion to shame he leapt at me, his hands reaching for my throat but instead found gripped my hands

“YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!”

"I SWEAR I DIDN'T DO THIS! NOW GET OFF OF ME!"

I struggled to prevent him from coming any closer to my face, a burning sensation spread through my palms as the heat generated from his body began to sear my skin. I cried out in pain, both from the burning skin and the headache that returned tenfold within the confines of my head. I felt the same energy from before coursing through my veins as the creature that was formerly my roommate attempted to take a bit out of my face. I concentrated on getting him off of me, my hands once again glowing with the ethereal energy I had seen when I forced the table off of me. I grinned when I saw the beast's face, obviously surprised at my sudden change of expression. A roar of pain filled the air, this time it came from Demon-Dave as I crushed his flaming hands with my vice-like grip. I let go for a split second in order to let him retracted his hands, giving me the chance to shove my demented roommate away from me. He stumbled a bit, but then I followed up by barreled into him with all my might, which was apparently a lot judging by how far he went- his body was sent the entire distance of the hallway and all the way to the back of the bathroom before he crashed into the tile wall. The rest of the curtain, part of it already burned to ashes, caught on fire once more. The smell of smoke again filled the bathroom and the hall, distracting me from the cobalt-blue glow surrounding my hands, fading away moments later. I switched on the vents and turned the water all the way to maximum coldness, removing the removable shower head and pointing it at the smoldering mess that was my roommate.. Steam once again filled the bathroom and the hall as I struggled to put out the not-as-fierce-as-before inferno. Fortunately, it seemed that even a flaming lava-demon could be put out and eventually the allowed itself to be extinguished. After making sure that the flames were completely out, I flicked on the van and released a sigh when I saw that there was not a charred corpse but the unconscious form of Dave completely n-

OhgodwhyamIstilllookingathim?

I quickly closed my eyes and ran out into the hall, leaving behind the nude form of my roommate. After shaking the life-scarring image from my mind, I went down to the closet and grabbed a handful of blankets. I took a few deep breaths before entering the bathroom once more, the smoke now gone and the sound of a fan filling the room instead. In the show was Dave, who was now covered by what remained of the shower curtain. His body was trembling, his clothes no longer being able to retain his body heat which was being sucked away by the fan. I carefully laid the blankets over my roommate's shivering body. Dave stopped shivering and embraced the warmth of the blankets, causing a smile to form on my face.

"Night bro, see ya in the morning.....”