Chaos and Courage

by SabreXio

Into the Maze

"Yeah, I kinda thought that would be too easy" I said as I stared at the empty box.

"But that's impossible" the Princess said in disbelief "That chamber is protected by a powerful spell only I can break. This makes no sense"
Then we all heard a disembodied laugh prompting me to draw my rifle and activate my over-the-shoulder (OTS) weapons as I drop to a knee facing the entrance.

"Seems like a pattern today, Princess" I said as I began scanning through the room with my vision filters while my guns unfolded and readied for use.

"And besides" A disembodied voice responded "What fun is there in making sense?"

"Discord!" exclaimed the Princess "Show yourself!"

I was intently scanning the room, each weapon trying to get a lock on Discord.

"Did you miss me, Celestia?" he asked in an echoy voice "I missed you"
That's when I found him. He was using a stained-glass figure of a...uh...an...honestly I have no idea what that is, and was moving it between the windows.
"It's quite lonely being turned to stone", Discord continued "Oh, but you wouldn't know that, would you, because I don't turn ponies into stone" he punctuated this by tapping on a figure representing Fluttershy getting her Element. I stood up and disengaged weapons, seeing as he was on the windows and I couldn't hit him.

"ENOUGH" bellowed Celestia "What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?!"

"Oh, I just borrowed them for a little while" he answered tauntingly. Then he snapped his...claws? I don't even think that's possible. Whatever. Anyway, he snapped his claws and the image of the Elements in the center disappeared.

"You'll never get away with this, Discord" Celestia declared to a now reclining Discord

"Oh, I had forgotten how grim you can be Celestia" Discord said "It really is quite booooriiing"

"HEY!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash "NOPONY insults the Princess like that!" she then took off at the figure of Discord at full speed, only to have him disappear and slam into the glass. After peeling her muzzle from the colored pane, Discord reappeared in a larger size.

"OH, you must be Rainbow Dash, famed for her loyalty, the Element of Harmony you represent" Discord said

"That's right" Dash replied "And I'll always be loyal to the Princess!"
He disappeared again.
"We'll see about that" he said

"I can't believe we're wasting our time talking to a tacky window" commented Rarity as Discord appeared on the window behind her.

"Ah the beautiful Rarity, representing the element of generosity, if I'm not mistaken" he continued

"So ya know who we are" Applejack interjected "big deal"

"Oh I know more than that, honest Applejack" he continued, growing to fill the window

"You seem to know our strengths too" Twilight deduced

"Yes, Twilight Sparkle, and yours is the most powerful and elusive element, magic" Discord said "Fluttershy's is kindness and Pinkie Pie's is a personal favorite of mine, laughter"

He then began doing the Running Man on the image of Twilight's head eliciting laughter from Pinkie.

"PINKIE!" Twilight exclaimed trying to stop her

"He's standing on your head" Pinkie said through her laughter

I drew my rifle and readied the Masterkey, aimed and fired a Dragon's Breath shell. The massive burst of flame scorched the spot where Discord had been. I ejected the still flaming shell.

"I've had enough" I said angry "Now, are you going to tell us where the Elements are, or do I have to come up there and pound the answer out of you?"

"Ah, the courageous and belligerent Captain Archangel" he said "I'm going to enjoy toying with you"

I fired again.

"That's not an answer" I said

"If you insist" he sighed "But I'll only tell you my way. To retrieve your missing elements, just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the elements back where you began." Discord then disappeared in a fit of laughter.

"C-can we go h-home now?" Fluttershy asked

"What do ya reckon he meant?" Applejack asked "Twists and turns and endin' back where we started?"

"Twist and turns...twist and turns..." Twilight pondered

"It seems like everything today is twisted" I observed

"Twists and turns! That's it!" Twilight exclaimed "I'll bet he hid the elements in the palace labyrinth"

"Good luck" Celestia said "The fate of Equestria lies on your shoulders"

"No pressure or anything" I said sarcastically as we all bolted from Canterlot Tower toward the Gardens.

It didn't take us long to reach the entrance of the massive hedge maze that made up the palace labyrinth.

"W-we have to go in there?" Fluttershy asked terrified

"Nope" answered Rainbow Dash as she flared her wings "Dopey Discord forgot about these babies. I'll just do a quick fly-over and we'll have the elements in no time"

As Dash took off, a puff of smoke appeared around her wings, revealing that they were gone. I looked to Fluttershy and saw the same, along with Rarity and Twilight's horns. Everyone started freaking out. Then, we heard the disembodied laugh again. I spun around, fingers on both of my AUG's triggers. From a plume of smoke, the freakiest creature I'd yet seen appeared. It looked like a zoo had fallen into a blender: it had a goat horn and a deer antler, a single fang in its pony like head, mismatched eyes, a long snakelike body caped with a draconic tail and a white puff of hair, a lion's left arm, an eagle's right, a goat right leg and a dragon's left , as well as a Pegasus wing and a bat wing.

"You should have seen the looks on your faces!" it said through his uncontrolled laughter "Priceless"

"What the fuck is that?" I asked trying to hold back laughter "I thought I was the only science experiment here"

"I'm Discord, the God of Chaos" he answered irritated "Have you not been paying attention?"

"Not who are you" I clarified "What are you?"

"He's a Draconequus: a creature made up of a pony head and..." Twilight tried to explain

"And any spare parts he could find" I said "I'm surprised he's not held together with duct tape and paperclips"

"You're one to talk, Tinman" Discord replied

"Woooo, Tinman, never heard that one before" I said sarcastically
I turned back to the ponies.

"Let's get this over with, I hate mazes"

"You don't want to hear the rules?" Discord asked

"Not really" I answered trying to anger him. He snapped his talons and a steel blast door extended from the ground blocking the maze.

"Too bad. Rule one: no wings, no magic" he said

"Rule number two" Discord continued unaware of the surprise I had in store "Everypony has to play"

"In that case, I'll be over here when you guys finish" I said as I turned and began to walk away

"Did you not hear me?" Discord replied as he poofed in front of me"I said everypony has to play"

"You're serious?" I said as I face palmed

"What's so hard to grasp here?"

"OK Discord; one of these things is not like the others" I said in as smartass a tone as I could "Can you guess which one?" gesturing to the ponies

"Well, It's you, of course" he answered

"And why would that be?"

"Because you're not a po...oh"
I had to wait my friends to stop laughing

"You know what I meant" Discord raged

"I know it's just so fun to piss you off"

"Why you little...Just for that: YOU can find a way past that door" He said as he poofed away

"Great, NOW how're we gonna find the elements?" Applejack asked as I walked to the door

"Relax, AJ, I got just the thing for this" I said as I placed a radio beacon on the door "You're gonna want to back up"

"Why? What's gonna happen?" Rainbow asked

"I'm opening the door" I said as I called to Firestorm "Storm, I need a Skeleton Key"

"Target acquired" she replied "door should be open in about seven seconds"

Six-and-a-half seconds later, five tank-busting missiles ponded the blast door, blowing it open. As the dust cleared, I turned around and saw the shocked expressions of my friends.

"What?" I asked

"How did you...?!" Rainbow stuttered "Where'd that come from?"

"I'll explain later" I said as we all entered the maze. Then, the ground shook.

"Ok, that wasn't me" I said. Then, hedgerows sprang from the ground separating us and freaking everyone out.

"Everypony just calm down" Twilight commanded "Just make your way to the maze's center as fast as you can"

"Moving out" said Rainbow Dash

"Yee-Haw" Applejack responded

"See you in the center" said Rarity

"See you guys there" Pinkie said as she bounced away
I drew a pistol and moved out.
"Acknowledged, advancing" I said "Good luck"

Author's Note:

Get ready for some interesting developments in the future. Oh and I know that Arty Strike was unnecessary but I just really wanted to blow something up